Transmutation
Capitol City burned. From their balcony, Mai and Zuko watched the flickering orange of the fires. It was beautiful and it was ugly and it signaled the end.
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Their bags were packed, a small satchel for each of them. For the first time since setting eyes on Zuko's scar, Mai cursed the disfigurement. Hiding, traveling incognito would be difficult enough. But that pink and red mess of ruined flesh was like a landmark or a beacon; overthrown Fire Lord over this way…come and get him.
"Keep your hood up," she hissed.
He nodded, did as she said and grabbed his satchel from their bed. Their bed; for three years they had slept there, made love there, curled up under the covers, ill with some bug or other. And they had lost a child there, not yet ready to be born but forced cruelly out into the world. He allowed himself an extra moment; let his hand linger on the silken fabric of the coverlet.
Tonight they would sleep in the home of one of their sympathizers. Not many of them existed. Rebels, armies of citizens dissatisfied with Zuko's acquiescence in certain matters, unhappy with his talk of peace and harmony and working with other nations, helping to rebuild all that they, the Fire Nation, had destroyed during the hundred year war, wanted Zuko gone. Their willingness to ruin and murder was limitless, their anger at the Fire Nation's loss of status virulent.
Rebels had the power now. Zuko's time had come and Zuko's time had gone. Now he and Mai had to find new lives and a new purpose. The terror Zuko felt clawed at his insides like some monstrous beast. And he could see the anguish in Mai's eyes, her own rage at being tossed aside, made to scrabble like rats for survival.
"We'll be all right." He offered the words, half-hearted ones at best.
Mai saw through them. She sneered at Zuko and made for the door. "We're doomed."
~~~~0000~~~~
That night, as they slept in a cramped back room, beneath a cheap blanket and on a stained mattress, Zuko reached out to Mai, touched her shoulder with heartbreaking hesitation. He wanted to hold her in his arms so badly. But she was distant these days, almost cold.
"Don't." Mai shrugged his hand off and turned to face the wall. "What if I get pregnant? What will we do then?"
"Have the baby." His answer was simple and natural and it infuriated Mai.
"Right, we'll have the baby on the run. Maybe some of those nice rebels will help me deliver. What do you think?" She turned back around and glared at Zuko.
He felt uncomfortable and stupid and naïve. "Nothing will be easy. Don't you think I've got that figured out, Mai?" Persistent, he reached out again, this time cupping her cheek. She allowed it. "I just want to hold you, that's all. I love you, Mai." He waited for her to say the words back. She did not.
The young woman, just nineteen years old, dropped her gaze. Delicate fingers picked at the blanket. She couldn't meet her husband's eyes. If she looked into them, fell down deep, into all that love and emotion, she would never be able to swim back to the surface, where cold, hard reality lived. Her love for Zuko was as potent as it had ever been, more so even. The heat that spilled off his skin, like invisible drops of liquid, beckoned her closer. His arms invited her in. His lips enticed. Mai was desperate to simply surrender to his love, to forget the horrors that awaited them outside this tiny bubble of safety.
But someone needed to be cold and hard. One of them had to think clearly, without passion clouding his mind. Mai had to save them both. Then, then she could think about love.
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A/N: I honestly don't know where this piece came from, other than some hidden desire to write something very dark.
I suppose that I could continue things in this 'Transmutation' world, follow Mai and Zuko in little bits and pieces here and there. *shrug* I don't know if that will happen or not.