Happy Birthday, Cloaks! I can't believe how late I am with this! I'm sorry for the delay, but my ideas were not working. So…here it is! My brother helped me come up with this. I hope you like my first, pitiful attempt at a crackfic. C:
"Wally…what're you doing?" Barry walked into the gym, looking at Wally West. Wally was sweaty, and he was shirtless. He was doing some weird jerking motion with his hips and arms.
Wally ran up to Barry, said, "TEACH ME HOW TO DUGGEE, BARRY!" and ran out of the gym.
Duggee, Barry thought. What's a duggee?
Iris was lifting his 50 pound dumbbells while stirring the potato salad. With her feet. She was also listening to Mozart. Robin ran through the kitchen, screaming something about a "duggee".
Iris took his headphones out of his ears and said, "Wally, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm duggying, Auntie! TEACH ME HOW TO DUGGEE!"
And with that, he ran away.
That kid is fucked up. What's a duggee?
Barry and Iris met in the living room, to discuss what was going on with Robin.
"Barry, I think that Wally's on drugs. What the hell is a duggee?"
"Iris, I'm sorry, but not even the world's best detective can help you there." Barry looked down in embarrassment.
"Then, Barry, might I suggest you ask one of your friends? Maybe he's possessed. Call a green lantern or Zatanna. They must be able to help."
Barry gave this idea a though, then picked up his phone.
25 minutes later, Zatanna and Kyle Rayner were at the door.
"Barry, what's wrong?" Zatanna asked.
"Guys, Kid Flash keeps asking us how to "duggee" and then he runs away."
Kyle's face lit up. "Barry, he wants you to teach him how to 'duggee'?"
Barry glared. "Yes. And it's driving Iris and I insane."
Zatanna and Kyle laughed. "Barry," said Zatanna. "Duggying is a dance. If you knew anything about pop culture, you'd know that."
"Okay, do you know how to do it, Zatanna?"
She blushed. "No. Sorry, sweetie, but you're on your own."
Kyle smiled, then mouthed "sweetie?"
Barry glared at him.
Barry, Kyle, Iris, and Zatanna were sitting in the dining room, drinking coffee and catching up. All of a sudden, Wally burst through the wall, and, covered in dust, he screamed, "TEACH ME HOW TO DUGGEE!"
Zatanna and Kyle burst with laughter. Zatanna wiped a tear from her eye.
"This is what you're worried about? He's a kid having fun. You should give him the day off, Barry."
Kyle pulled out a sketchpad and started to draw Wally's maniacal face. Iris shouted in surprise, spilling her coffee on Zatanna.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, Zatanna. Let me clean it…"
Zatanna took off her jacket, and wearing only a spaghetti strap top, gave Kyle a nosebleed.
Kid Flash ran back through the hole in wall, screaming about duggying. Kyle was still laughing.
Zatanna turned to Barry and said, "We don't know about you, but we don't know the art of the duggee. I betcha Shayera knows."
Barry turned pale. "No. No way. Go to hell."
"I was only joking. Sheesh. You need to get out more. Take me to dinner and dancing."
"Did you just ask me out, Zee?"
"No, I asked you to teach me how to duggee. Of course I asked you out!"
Iris glared, and Kyle was too busy finishing up his drawing. His comlink went off.
"Barry, I found someone who knows how to duggee. Actually, two people."
Diana and J'onn walked into Barry's house. "How badly has his disease progressed, Barry?" asked J'onn.
"He broke through a wall. We need your help."
Diana laughed. Then, she saw Wally. He tackled her to the ground, all while screaming at her to "teach him how to duggee."
Iris pulled Wally off of Diana. Diana walked over to Wally and slapped him in the face, effectively chipping his tooth.
"You didn't have to do that Diana. He was fine with a scolding." Barry shot Diana a dirty look.
Zatanna stepped in. "Blind much, Barry? He jumped her. You go, girl!" She gave Diana a high five.
J'onn interrupted them. "Guys, we're not helping Barry or Wally with this problem. Wally has a disease. Diana and I got over ours with immense doses of therapeutic drugs, but if it progresses, he'll be duggying forever."
Iris looked at Wally. "Diana, might I ask that you help him with your dancing prowess?"
"Not right now. It has to be done under a full moon. Besides, I'm hungry. Go make me a sandwich."
Iris glared at her and stalked off to the kitchen.
Zatanna had the candles set up, and J'onn grabbed the boom box. Kyle pulled the curtains down, and Barry chained Wally to the wall. Diana was wearing her WW outfit.
J'onn started the music, and Wally entered a trance. He started to move against the chains, duggying despite the situation he was in. Diana twirled and started to duggee.
Zatanna, Kyle, and Barry were chanting, "Teach me how to duggee. Teach me how to duggee…" J'onn got in front of Wally and started to duggee, too.
Wally started to foam at the mouth. Zatanna smiled as Iris started to bite at her nails. Barry laughed, and so did Zatanna and Kyle. Their laughing got louder, and Diana started to crack up, too. Soon, everyone besides J'onn was laughing. Then, Wally broke the chains.
"Oh, shit." Said Zatanna.
Wally was going insane, jumping and dancing his duggee. He juked Diana, grinded Kyle.
"Quick!" Kyle said. "Shut off the radio!"
As the music stopped, Wally grew less hyper. Diana didn't have to dance around anymore. Iris wasn't looking upset anymore. Barry walked over to Wally and shook his shoulders a little.
"Wally! Are you okay?"
Wally smiled. "Barry? I just learned how to duggee."
Wally broke out into a dance session, with Diana and J'onn right behind him. Barry laughed.
Happy birthday, again, Cloaks! I hope you liked it! (To anyone else, please Read and Review!)