CHAPTER ONE – The Story
I whimpered quietly behind a tree as I kept hitting the ground with my tiny fist, perfectly aware it would leave some bruises later.
'You lied, Mommy. You lied. You're just like the rest of them,' I snarled, yanking out my obnoxious pink hair that always had been a magnet for my bullies, attempting to tear it from my scalp. I was different, yes, but before I went to the real world and woke up, I thought being different was being special and unique, as I always thought I was. My mom said so, too.
I laughed, a scornful laugh full of malice and anger. Me? Special? Who was I kidding? I'm only Haruno Sakura, daughter of one of the civilian families on the village. The kid with the weird pink hair. A girl who can't even perform a decent taijutsu, and could even struggle in making a single and proper clone, which when achieved, would only last for two seconds before vanishing.
And it doesn't help that our teachers were always favouring the students from ninja clans.
I snapped out from my musings when I noticed a shadow of three girls above me, making me choke on my spit. The source of the three shadows were Ami Watanabe, Karin Uzumaki, and Ino Yamanaka, the worst combination of all my bullies in history.
"Lookie, lookie here. She couldn't even hide herself properly!" Karin shrieked with her awful voice, smiling nastily as she put her hands in her hips. "Look! She's even crying!"
Ami smiles mockingly at me and tugged my pink locks roughly, making me yelp in pain as my face scrunched up. "Did she even try to hide?"
"And you call yourself a ninja? How pathetic," sneered Ino. "Stay away from our Sasuke-kun, Sakura. He won't ever notice you. Not someone as ugly, pathetic, and weak, like you," she threatened.
"Come on guys. Let's not waste our time with this ugly bimbo. There are boys waiting for us," Karin giggles as she adjusted her glasses. I looked down in shame. Of course he won't notice me. They don't need to remind it to me. It's just similar to slapping a hard brick on my face. Sasuke would more likely notice and date one of them. They're definitely prettier, sexier, cuter, and more of a ninja material. But I was never dumb. I prided myself with my brain, as I had been the second smartest in my class. Smartest next to Hinata Hyuuga. Other than that, I'm nothing more. Just a weak, useless, ugly girl.
'It's reality,' my subconscious, whom I call Inner, sighs. 'And it hurts like a bitch,' he continued, as I collapsed to the ground, being reduced once more to a wreck of a sobbing pile. When I was still a child, I often – no, always – imagined I was the prettiest girl in the whole world. And then one day when I finally set out to the real world, my imaginations were reduced to nothing more but ashes. I found girls prettier, smarter, and better than me. Same goes for the boys too.
'I'm such a disappointment,' I moaned furiously while thrashing around in fury. My hands were furiously ripping the grass beneath me, coating it with dirt, seeping under my nails.
"Kami-sama… just… just kill me," I wheezed out, clutching my painfully aching chest, staring at somewhere but nowhere. What purpose was I for? To play the role of being a laughingstock? Bearing the role of the unwanted?
I then noticed the sky turning dark, a cue for me to leave and return to my home, which was something I was never fond of. After my dad died – or disappeared – my mum became depressed and started being alcoholic, but nonetheless, she still works as a doctor in the hospital, giving us enough money for our needs. I knew she wasn't really fond of me after that. I kinda took after my dad, though not in physical traits, but of our similar characteristics, save for our eye colour. His is brown and short and spiky, while we have the same green eyes. I've always thought that I was adopted, since I looked nothing like them, like my mom. I had a soft, gentle, and kind face in comparison to her strict ones, an average sized forehead compared to her slightly-larger-than-average forehead, and had pale skin in comparison to her natural tanned ones. I didn't see my dad ever in my life, only on some picture frames my mom had kept lying around. She said he died right after I was born. My only memory of him was a necklace with some kind of symbol in it, like the Uchihas with their Uchiwa fan, and the Hyuuga with their Yin and Yang symbol.
'How did it turn out like this?' I ask sadly, while I was walking in the streets to my house.
'Fate is just too cruel for us to be happy, kiddo,' Inner replies, sadness evident in his voice too.
'I wish Dad was here,' Inner became suspiciously quiet after that, but I decided to leave that as his own business and continued to trudge towards the house, all the while doing my same habit of touching and holding the necklace.
I arrived in the house finally, and opened the doorknob painfully slowly and silently so no one would know I was home. The idea turned out to be useless as I saw my mum in the living room, watching TV, with my stepdad, rubbing her swollen belly affectionately.
"Hello mum," I silently greeted, hoping she would answer me.
I was greeted with her soft nod and gentle smile. "Dinner's ready on the table, Sakura. Eat it now, okay? You don't want it to be cold," mum paused before continuing, "Go to bed immediately after refreshing, okay? You need to be early for school tomorrow," she told me, smiling slightly. I silently muttered out my agreement while flashing a small but fake smile, and went to the kitchen, finding a steaming bowl of chicken stew, rice, a plate of umeboshi and syrup-coated anko dumplings. I smiled lightly. I should at least be happy she still treats me as her daughter. I plopped quietly on the table chair and ate to my heart's content, as I knew mum had eaten already with that guy she was snogging with.
'Well, that was rude of you,' Inner remarks, humor coating his words as I started eating the rice and the stew.
'It's reality,' I told him. 'Everyone lies at some point, whether they like it or not. Mum did,' I sighed remembering her sugar-coated words to comfort me when I was about to enter the academy. Comforting words about how everyone was so nice, so friendly. It was all filled with lies, while clearing whatever was the last of my plate, and threw the sticks used by the dango into the trash bin, then proceeded to wash my utensils.
'You're just bitter, kiddo. You'll get over it one day.'
'By 'get over' you mean I'd gradually become numb that I won't feel anything. You're talking about that, right?' I sarcastically answered as I put the utensils in its holder. On my way to my room, I passed by my mom and my stepdad, the two giggling; my mom partly because of the funny-ass TV show and the other part because of the baby, and my dad, because of the baby.
My steps halted and my mouth opened, then closed again. I opened it again, but closed it after some time. What am I doing? They were my family, I was supposed to not be afraid of them! I heard my Inner grumble something incoherent. 'What was that?'
'Just let it out, you know. Just see to it if they care. You want to know, right? Then, now's your chance,' he advised. My throat suddenly felt dry. As if someone had put a dryer in them. I was afraid, yes. Afraid of their answer.
'There's always another time, though,' trails Inner, sensing my hesitation to speak. I kept quiet for a while before shaking my head. It's now or never. They say it's better late than never. Well, I'm doing it now. To find out who I really am, what my purpose is. What I really mean to them. Everyone. To myself.
"Good…" I kept quiet again, my insides were a nervous wreck. It was like my insides were suddenly jumping, threatening to jump out of my skin. Then, gathering the last of my courage, I took a deep breath.
"Goodnight, mum… dad," I said, a little loud. I see mum's hand shot in the air and wave lazily at me, and I just thought something was stuck in my trachea, making it difficult for me to breath. The tears were threatening to slide down my face, but I gulped it down, forced a smile, and ran to my room, where my tears had started flowing, so endlessly, as soon as I shut the door.
::
I was five, still on my first year in the ninja academy when I had my first love. His name was Sasuke Uchiha. It wasn't that much of a surprise I fell in love with him, too. Almost every girl in the ninja academy likes him. Younger or elder.
He was the type whom you could say a dark princely type. He had this dark onyx eyes that could make your legs go jelly when you stare at it. It was like you were looking at an abyss. His skin was slightly pale and tall, had the same jet black hair that runs in the Uchiha blood, but you could say it was quite weird that it always stuck up like a chicken's butt. With or without gel. But despite that, I still loved him. It was love at first sight. Yeah, I know, cliché. But the moment I laid my eyes on him I already felt the fireworks at the background, something nagging me at the back of my head that he was my prince charming. And then I felt it. Boom. I then knew I was in love.
At that time, me and Ino were friends. So was I with Karin. We were pretty inseparable, even though the two of them came from big clans – Ino from the Yamanaka's famed for their mind jutsus, and Karin from the Uzumaki clan known for their large chakra reserves – and I thanked them for it. At that time, us and Ami's goons were enemies, her often sneering at me for my ridiculous and obnoxious pink hair. Then came along Naruto Namikaze, son of the Fourth and current Hokage and is closely related to the Uzumaki main family, and of course a viewed hero of the village after his father sealed the demon beast on him how many years ago, and stopped the rampaging of the nine tails in the village.
But there was one problem, from the moment I knew him, I instantly knew he liked me. More than just a friend. Way more than a bestfriend's.
A purplette made her way to us, a sneer on her face, obviously and painfully directed on me, and I was pretty sure she was staring at my hair, which was pink.
"Hey you!" she shouted. I turned at her, wanting to know who she was talking to, and then I knew it was me.
I pointed at myself, to make sure she really called me. "Me?" I asked. She stopped when she was in front of me, hands on her hips.
"Yes, you!" she barked. I grimaced. I was sure some of her spit landed on my arm. Eww. So gross. "How much thicker could you get? Dying your hair pink? Seriously? Pink?" my eyes squinted at the purplette. The nerve of her? She comes strutting here, like she owns the place and disses me, just because my hair is pink? Really? How MUCH thicker could she get? Shame she was actually pretty.
"And who are you?" I sneered in return.
She held her nose high up in the air. "Ami. Watanabe Ami," my tongue recoiled to the back of my mouth when I heard her family name. Sure, Watanabe's weren't some special ninja clans, but, they're still ninja clans. And I sure as hell wouldn't want to pick some fight with someone of a status like that.
"Cat got your tongue, pinky?" she told me in a mocking voice. "You seem so brave, having a Yamanaka and two Uzumaki's by your side," I remained silent. What she said was true. I got a bit overconfident now that they were both by my side.
"Shut up," I hissed venomously. Ami just smirked and sashayed past me and flipped her hair in front of my face.
"Hey, Sak. We just saw Ami. Did she try to do anything funny?" a blonde asked. Ino Yamanaka. She was my first friend in the Ninja Academy, after she helped me out when Ami insulted my hair. Again. Then next came Karin. She came from the Uzumaki clan and her looks prove it, getting her clan's red hair trademark.
"No. Just the usual ol' taunting," I replied, smiling lightly to show them I'm okay. Karin and Ino fell for it and shrugged then took our seats.
At that moment, I wished everything would just be like that.
But it didn't. Halfway through the year, Ino, Karin, and expectedly, Ami had all fallen head over heels in love with Sasuke, and I found myself struggling between my emotions. Should I lie and act like I don't like Sasuke? Or tell them the truth? Of course, for the sake of our friendship, I chose the first. To protect our friendship, and to not hurt Naruto as the person I loved was his viewed rival.
It hurt. It hurt to see your bestfriends flirting with the person you love, especially in front of your very own eyes. I felt like someone was stabbing me in my chest with hot knives, painfully and slowly twisting them inside my body. Ino and Karin soon became rivals and broke their friendship. I didn't know who to choose between them, so I stayed behind, cheering them on for whatever they do.
But everything came so fast it happened like a blur. Ami found my diary, full of my most private thoughts and secrets. The notebook where I wrote to often when I found myself furious, happy, sad, frightened. Ino had read all of what I wrote about Sasuke. My feelings for him. My thoughts of him. Everything. And they got furious, too.
"The hell, Sakura?! You told me you never had any feelings for Sasuke-kun!" Ino shouted, making the attention of our classmates snapped onto us. I looked around nervously, hating the attention.
"Ino-chan… p-please. Not here," I pleaded, looking at the black notebook which had been the reason of my demise. Ino laughed. A bitter one.
"Not here? Why, Sakura, you scared?" she asked, venom dripping from her voice, clutching the black diary with unmistakable fury. We were gathering more and more attention, and even managed to gather Sasuke's attention.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" the mutt Inuzuka, stupidly chanted, and I felt like bashing his head face first on a hard concrete.
"We're. Over." And she turned away and threw the diary to my face, which I caught out of pure instinct. I was speechless, numb, and unable to move. I saw Karin on the side, giving me a disbelieving look as she turned back to flirting with Sasuke.
And speaking of Sasuke, he gave me this unreadable look, and I swore I just saw a corner of his mouth twitch and tilt upwards, smirking. The sight made my heart beat faster. And it just made me feel guiltier.
But what made me feel the guiltiest was of the fact that I liked it. So much.
I was in the playground, already isolated as it was already night, sitting on the swing while pondering about what happened just a few hours ago, with a blank and dead face.
'Friends come and go. That's the cycle, kiddo. Just get used to it,' Inner chided, making me frown even more. I kicked off from the ground lightly and began swinging, when a shadow blurred from my vision. The hairs in my body stood up, and my feet were itching to plant in the ground to stop swinging and run away from the playground to my house.
'Don't. Don't stop. Don't act like you saw. Don't do anything,' Inner hissed at me violently. Though scared, I obeyed his orders and continued kicking from the ground, going higher, and higher until my stomach churned whenever I would go down. Any idiot would just see me as some kid with problems.
"So, Haruno, huh?" that familiar voice that would always successfully make my heart flutter rang in my ears. I found myself dazed as I turned my head to the voice's direction, seeing the all-too-familiar ravenette that caught ahold of my heart. I didn't even feel my grip on the swings let go, and sent me flying to the ground.
'Nice, now what's next? Falling in the mud?' Inner exasperatedly asked, and sure enough, there was a mound of mud which was where I was supposed to fall. Hey, I did a mental math. I waited for the impact to come, but felt no pain. Instead, I felt warm arms wrapping around my torso, and it took me a whole 30 seconds to process that Sasuke had caught me, and was the one whose arms were wrapping around my torso.
And thus was the start of a blossoming friendship, like a Sakura flower blooming.
Sasuke didn't mind that I was a fangirl, saying that I was the best choose over them, as even though I was a fangirl, I didn't openly swoon over him like the others. But of course, we didn't act like we're friends so openly, as it would only give Sasuke's fangirls a reason valid enough to beat me up to death. It was alright for me, too. And for a moment, when I look at him, it felt so worth it to be betraying Ino and Karin, even if they weren't my friends anymore. I was so selfish.
I was seven when things began to get weird enough for me.
I was just sitting on the bench near the gates of the village, watching the moon, while singing a tune I could faintly remember in my dreams, when I felt a strong presence. I furrowed my eyebrows. The energy was so strong. I was expecting an orange alarm to blaze, shinobis jumping form their houses half naked while putting on their shirts or flak jackets on the way – hey, don't judge. There was one time someone jumped from their house during a red alarm with nothing but his boxers and hitai-ate, carrying his clothes ALL the way to the Hokage tower – and orders to ring for civilians to evacuate. But none happened. In fact, it was freakin' quiet. I was surprised not even the Inuzuka dogs were howling loudly or any ANBUs or elite jounins to sense the disturbance. Not even the Hokage.
BOOM!
I fell out of the bench when I heard something explode. 'Inner, what was that?' I asked, fear crawling up in my system, as I stayed frozen to where I landed. Figures swept from above my head, and for a split second, I was sure I saw someone fly.
"Inner? What's happening?!" I didn't mean to shout it out loud, but the fact that my heart was drumming hard against my ribcage, and was ready to leap out of my throat, and he wasn't saying anything goddamn helpful, of course, the first thing that comes to my mind would be panic. And it was no exception if you were a shinobi. We're just genins, for Kami's sake. An invisible force had blasted me away, making me skid past the gates a little, and I felt so scared.
'Sakura, run.'
'What?'
'RUN! Don't let the one with holes on their chests see you! Don't look at anyone!' at Inner's haste, I didn't know I had already started running. You see, this is what happens when Inner happens to have strong emotions, and would unconsciously take over my body.
I continued running, pumping chakra on my legs of whatever chakra I have, to speed up, and turned into a dark alleyway.
'You're such an idiot!'
'What are you now on about?!'
'Not here! Hollows like to dwell in dark places!' Inner shrieked. I stopped as the alleyway was a dead end, and crouched to catch my breath.
'Hollows?! What are those?!'
'Those things with masks and holes in their chests, you idiot!'
'What are you talking about?! There's no such thing as people with masks and holes in their chests!' Inner stayed quiet for a while, making my suspicions arouse.
'You mean you can't see anything?' I shook my head in annoyance, but then, my annoyance melted into utter fear once I saw something. And there it was. A big, black, masked, holed ugly creature that which was even uglier than the ugliest face I could imagine.
'You see them, right, kiddo?'
'Y-Yes, I-I do.'
'Don't panic, okay? Stay calm,' the moment Inner said that, the Hollow had beheaded an oblivious civilian walking late night, then devoured something which suspiciously looked like his soul.
'How am I going to stay calm when I just saw that?!' I shrieked.
'Just stay calm. Hide yourself. Your reiatsu is still small. Considering you're still on Earth, so just hide really well, and they won't find you.'
I frowned. 'Rei-Reit-Reia- What?' I asked.
'I'll explain later! For now, just concentrate on hiding!' I followed Inner's advice, albeit with tears streaming down my face and hid behind a trash bin.
I heard growling. And when I turned my head at my back, I almost pissed in fright.
"Another Shinigami, eh? Though your reiatsu is so small. Bet it won't be worth it to actually kill you," it growled, and for a moment, I thought my heart was about to leap out of my throat, and my soul about to jump out of my skin.
Out of instinct, I fumbled with the spare kunai I always hid in my dress, and threw it at the ugly thing. But it wasn't hit. It went through like it was a hologram.
'Can I panic now?'
'Seems like it,' voiced Inner fearfully. 'SHOUT! SHOUT AND RUN!'
So I did what I could do. I screamed. So loud. So loud that I was sure the whole village heard me, and ran, when Heavens decided to curse me and made me trip. I scrambled to get up but I was met with an excruciating pain in my ankle.
'Great. Just our luck. We're gonna die today.'
I cursed. I was a ninja, for Kami's sake. And ninjas do not just trip over some overgrown metal. Then the Hollow started looming closer and closer to me, and I was left with no choice but to await for my death. If only I could do a clone jutsu now, I would definitely use it. But seeing I was a little girl with a chakra capacity to that of a small dog's, I could barely make a clone that could even last for one second.
Then out of nowhere, someone in black and white outfit had appeared before me, a sword in his hand. With a quick slash at the ugly thing, it vanished.
"Chottomatte!" I yelled, seeing him about to walk away. He stiffened a bit but turned to look at me, and that was when I had a good look at his features. His white hair is worn long, almost reaching his waist. He wears it parted on the left side with one long piece that fell over his right eye. I looked at his eyes and was surprised to see the fact that they were the exact same shade as mine.
"A-Ano, ari-arigatou. For saving me from that… thing," I mumbled shyly while looking at him. He flashed out a charming smile, bent down to my level, and hugged me. What?
"Ano, mister? Why are you hugging me? Who are you?" I asked, bewilderment laced in my voice, as I took a step back. Hurt flashed in his eyes but covered it up with another one of his charming smile again and stood up.
"Don't stay out late at night and don't leave the house, okay? Make sure to eat well, make friends, even though it's hard for you. Stand up for yourself when you're being picked on, okay?" my eyebrows shot up to my hairline when he said that. What was he? Some crazy stalker? No!
I forced a weak laugh. "Uhmm, really… really sorry for the… uhmm… misunderstanding, mister. But I'm really not into older men. Besides, I'm still seven."
To my surprise, he just chuckled and ruffled my hair, and then walked past me. Okay, that was weird.
So I ran back home. In a span of 2 minutes. I was hyperventilating by the minute I got inside my room. One, because of what happened earlier. And two. I just scaled my room which is on the fifth floor apartment. Oh God, I didn't think it was that exhausting.
The man and I met again when I was almost eight on the day before my birthday. I saw he was with a woman. She was pretty, I observed. The woman had long hair like his, but was black, and was tied in a braid in the front. Her face had a gentle expression, and I gotta admit, we looked kind of… the same. She was smiling, yet I can sense the sadness radiating from her smile. And in the man's hands was a thin wrapped package.
That was the time I found out I was his daughter.