Shepard looked at the beam ahead of her, white and blue swirling together in an array of light. She had come so far to destroy the Reapers, she had lost so many people in this war. And now… Now she had three options: control the Reapers, destroy the Reapers, or synthesis. She knew the correct path, as it was strait ahead, but she also knew it would mean her death. She thought of Garrus as she began to stumble forward. He was the most important thing to her, and she was leaving him. She remembered their earlier conversation.
"Shepard. So I guess this is…" he trailed off, and she scoffed lightly, knowing what he was going to say.
"Just like old times?" she asked humorously, smiling faintly at her lover. He chuckled, shifting slightly. His gaze hardened a bit as he looked at her.
"Huh.. Might be the last chance we get to say that." She was shocked.
"They think we're gonna lose?" she asked incredulously.
"No," he began, "I think we're about to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of." His voice went from serious to more playful, "Then we're going to retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids," he paused, hesitant to say what he wanted to next, "Maybe even find out what a turian-human baby looks like." His blue eyes were soft as they stared at her, and she felt butterflies in her stomach, despite the circumstances. Them, parents? Would biology even let them? She guessed not, but figured there would be a lot of kids that would need to be adopted, regardless of species. She laughed lightly.
"I'm game. Though I think adoption's a better idea –biology may not cooperate." He stepped closer, and not for the first time she found herself looking up at him.
"Hmm. I suppose there will be a lot of little krogan running around soon." And as soon as he said it, she decided she liked that idea quite a bit. Then she remembered what lay ahead of them, what they to do first in order to get to their paradise.
"We just have to beat the Reapers first." She said sadly. He looked away from her.
"James told me an old saying here on Earth. 'May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.'" He turned back to her, "Not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if these things go sideways and we both end up there… meet me at the bar. I'm buying." She felt her heart clench, unwilling to imagine him dying.
"We're a team, Garrus. There's no Shepard without Vakarian," and those words hit her harder than most, "so you better remember to duck."
"Sorry. Turians don't know how. But I'll improvise." She knew he was joking to get her to lighten up, but she couldn't shake the feeling. "And Shepard… Forgive the insubordination, but your boyfriend has an order for you…" he stepped closer, taking both of her hands in his larger ones, "Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."
She felt tears prick he eyes, and remembered telling him that he would never be alone. She remembered his face as she shoved him aboard the Normandy, injured and bleeding, as she told him to leave. As they said their last "I love you"'s before she ran to the beam that would take her to the Citadel… and now again, she was walking towards a beam that would take her somewhere. She began to run, dropping her gun in the process.
Shepard leapt into the shaft of light, and felt her skin begin to tingle as she free-fell. It was not an unpleasant feeling, almost warm and comforting. She thought of all of those whom she had lost, who had given their lives for her cause, and all of those she would be leaving behind.
Anderson, a man who had supported her since the beginning and had been a father figure in her life for many years. He was the one who had promised her mother that he would keep her safe, the man who checked in on her at boot camp even when she was the best of her class.
Thane, a wounded man who was not only strong, but also kind. He had set out to do what few others would: to bring light to galaxy instead of dark. He was the man who had righted his wrong with his son, who had never stopped helping even as he was slowly dying from an incurable disease.
Legion, a machine who had sacrificed itself for the betterment of its people. Legion, the one whom she had come to call her savior, her ally, and her friend. She remembered waking up to him in that med-bay bed, the relief that flowed through her at the sight of him.
Tali, the girl she watched become one of the strongest women she knew. The woman whom she viewed as a sister, whom she would never tire of talking to about the Normandy. She remembered a scared girl in the Wards, but she also remembered a capable Admiral telling the fleets to stand down.
Liara, an everlasting companion whom had matured so quickly in the time that she knew her. A woman who was intelligent, selfless, and brave. She thought of the many years she would live on after everyone else, and hoped she would not feel lonely in their absence.
Mordin, the salarian whom had given his life to right one of the biggest atrocities in the galaxy. The man who sacrificed himself for a species that hated him, that distrusted him, and that now were grateful to him. She remembered his singing and mutterings, the two things that had made him so unique.
Wrex, who she would forever consider one of her closest friends. He was a leader, the right one to lead the krogan into a new age. She remembered their conversations which merely consisted of their names, and felt herself smile.
Grunt, who she somehow viewed like her giant krogan baby after having released him from the tank. He was a character, and she loved him for his humor and tenaciousness. She hoped he found a family despite being a tank bred.
Samara, a woman willing to take her own life so that he daughter may be spared. Shepard was so glad she had saved such a wonderful woman. She hoped the justicar found peace with her remaining daughter of Lesus, and could live her remaining century in a happiness she had long deserved.
EDI, the co-pilot of her ship and an AI she had come to call a friend, despite their volatile beginnings on Luna. She hoped that EDI and Joker were happy together, and was hopeful that EDI would not feel grief over Shepard's death.
Jeff "Joker" Moreau, her long-time pilot and friend. He had stayed with her since the beginning, had always been there. She hoped that he would be able to stay with EDI for as long as he was able.
Kaidan, despite their hostilities on Horizon, had quickly become her friend again after coming to terms that she had moved on to Garrus. He had been happy for her, had hugged her close with strong arms that she remembered from Ilos. She hoped he found happiness in a new partner, as he was humble and courageous.
Lastly, she thought of Garrus again. He too had been there since the beginning. She remembered Omega, thinking she had lost him. She remembered his witty remarks, his playfulness, and his love for her. She hoped above all else that he would be able to forgive her for the broken promise.
And then she felt herself begin to fade, begin to die. It did not hurt, there was only blessed stillness and tingling all over. Then all feeling went away, her vision went black.
Shepard was gone.