Hello my lovely readers,
Long time, no see huh? Well, I'm back. And I have a whole host of updated chapters and even a new one for you to enjoy.
I must apologise for my absence, I promised myself I would finish this and I let myself get very very sidetracked.
Fortunately for you guys, I have returned and you all have my boyfriend to thank for that! He made me reread the whole damn thing to him and I was struck by the muses to continue writing.
So let's go back to the beginning, shall we?
...
CHAPTER ONE - THE LITTLE FISH
I don't mind
Letting it down easy but just give it time
If it don't hurt now just wait, just wait a while
You're not the big fish in the pond no more
You are what they're feeding on
Ain't It Fun - Paramore
…
NALI
The art of being completely anonymous was not totally lost on me. It was an acquired skill, one that had taken years to perfect.
I was not the kind of girl that clamoured for constant attention, while most people knew of me, very few actually took the chance to get to know me. I preferred to hide in plain sight.
It was an underappreciated art, especially at my school where millions of non-average girls fangirled 24/7 and blushed faster than one could say flirt. You know the kind I mean.
I watched as the sun set on Ouran Academy, millions of students flooding out of the hideously pink gates to freedom.
Ouran Academy, where those with excellent social standing and filthy rich money attended High school. It was, to say the least, incredibly prestigious and to succeed here you needed to be competitive ready to work or you just needed the right name.
It was a playground for the rich.
The fountain I was sitting on dribbled to a stop, the scratched marble creaking dangerously underneath my weight. The peeing statue held a great view over Ouran's vast grounds where girls in puffball yellow dresses whispered with their friends and flirted shamelessly with other guys, who only had to flash their pearly whites to send said girls (and quite a few guys) reeling.
I sighed glancing up at the rich blue sky.
He would've loved days like this…
It had been a year since things changed. They say that with time things become easier, when in fact the opposite is true. Time heals the wound that is honest enough, but the wound becomes a scar and that scar stays with you forever. Easy to ignore but impossible to forget.
I shook my head, tapping my restless fingers against the worn satchel that served as my school bag.
Positive thoughts, positive thoughts, positive, positive…
"Nali-chan!"
"Shit!"
I squealed, toppling backwards into the cold water of fountain. Spluttering, I surfaced from the water to a shocked friend who was staring aghast at me.
"Oh my god Nali, are you ok?!" Mei rushed forward as I got to my feet unsteadily.
A chill settled in my bones and a wave of sudden exhaustion washed over me. A sharp pain crackled in my skill and for a moment I couldn't move.
And then the world stopped spinning.
"Are you trying to kill me?" I groaned, stumbling forwards and glaring at Mei.
A grin suddenly split her face and a loud laughter burst out of her.
"I'm so sorry," She giggled. "Are you ok?"
I swung my leg over the marbled wall of the fountain, ignoring the curious looks of our fellow classmates. Mei smirked as I began to shake the water from my hair, grumbling underneath my breath.
"Are you ready to go?" She asked.
"I was, until some nutter tried to kill me," I replied darkly, throwing my satchel over one shoulder.
"I am so sorry," She stifled her giggles, tossing me a spare jumper from her bag.
"Pfft, heard it all before."
Mei rolled her eyes used to my scowling, before pulling me away from the fountain as I pulled the giant jumper on.
Mei and I had gone to elementary school together until my father's job had taken me halfway across the country. And although we had only spent a brief time as friends, we forged a bond that had survived across whole continents and endless oceans.
"So what did Mrs Hanabusa say?" I asked as we wandered through the gates.
Whatever colour Mei had vanished at the mention of our formidable teacher, she stopped dragging me and began to mumble.
"Sorry, what was that?" I asked hitting my ear to make sure water wasn't blocking my hearing.
She scowled, setting a cold glare on me.
"She told me I had the artistic talent of a blind dog with no limbs."
I snickered, covering my mouth with my hand. Mei just scowled, probably planning many ways of torturing Hanabusa, before turning and flouncing away. I ran after her, shoes squelching as I tried to supress the laughter that was escaping.
"It really wasn't that bad," I said between laughter.
"Yeah, yeah, I know I can't draw, but the class is mandatory. Anyway its fine for you since Hanabusa worships the ground you walk on."
I wiped away my tears with a shrug.
"What can I say? I'm a genius," I placed my clutched hands close to my cheek and fluttered my eyelashes as if I was princess.
Mei rolled her eyes with a small smile as we settled into a companionable silence. Our shoes hit the gravel in sync, my wet sneakers squeaking. Mei tugged at the collar of her hideous yellow dress with a sigh and I turned to face her.
"What's up?"
"I was wondering -"
"No," I cut her off quickly.
"But…you didn't even know what I was going to ask?" She wailed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I refuse to get involved in any of your hare-brained schemes, and quite frankly I have better things to do like the mountain of homework that's awaiting me," I gestured to my over flowing, slightly damp, satchel.
Mei sighed, blowing her brown fringe out of her eyes with an exasperated look.
"Can you just hear me out?" She pouted.
I set my lips in a thin line, averting my gaze from hers. Mei knew how to push my buttons in order to get what she wanted and by getting what she wanted I really mean convincing me to help in one of her idiotic schemes and then inevitably, spending time in detention with her. And I was usually a master of not giving in. As long as I didn't look into her eyes.
Stay strong, don't give in to that look, don't give in, don't give in, don't...
"What is it?" I asked with a sigh.
She lit up, her grey eyes sparkling.
"You know that club run by Tamaki Suoh?"
My brow furrowed in thought. What club did Tamaki Suoh run? Hold up, who the hell was Tamaki Suoh?
"You know the Host Club? That club with all the guys that the girls swoon over that the blonde boy in our class is head of," Mei tried to jog my memory and I tapped my chin.
Host club? What kind of club is a Host Club?
"There's a lot of blonde boys in our class, you're going to have to elaborate some more."
She sighed, as if questioning my intelligence. I just rolled my eyes, sorry for not having the same IQ level as Einstein.
"It's really not that hard -" I shot her a glare cutting through whatever she was going to say.
"He's the idiot, with the violet eyes, who flirts with anything with a skirt," Mei threw her hands up exasperatedly at my blank look. "He hangs out with the really creepy guy with the glasses who knows everything."
An image of our homeroom teacher calling on the creepy dude flashed through my head, and I'm sure I distinctly remembered some other blonde dude glomping him and some other girls fainting before I was distracted by the chocolate bar I found at the bottom of my bag.
So I'm guessing the Host Club was that thing that the girls in my class couldn't stop squealing over.
"I think I know what you're on about, what does it have to do with anything?"
"Well, my dad is taking me to a really important business meeting tomorrow after school, but the Ootori guy asked me to deliver some of our new plants from the gardening club, and I'm not going to make it so I was wondering…if you would go instead?"
Mei watched me closely while I thought over what to do. I could easily drop off the package on my way to the art classrooms after school tomorrow, it wasn't like I had anything better to do.
"Fine, but you owe me."
She grinned, her eyes sparkling.
"Two scoops of White Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream?"
"Make it three, and we have a deal," I bartered with a grin. Mei laughed, nudging me in the side as we continued on our path.
There used to be a time when things were different. When I was different. But things changed and certain things came to light which could not be ignored. I had to mature faster than any of my classmates, and there were still certain things about me that no one else, not even Mei, knew. Everyone has secrets, even that run of the mill average girl you don't really know.
Suddenly, a pair of hands clamped down on my shoulders, pulling me out of my thoughts and causing me to shriek like a banshee and Mei to stumble in fright.
"Ah so this is where you have been hiding, young maiden."
My eye twitched in annoyance and I scowled.
What a mood killer, I couldn't help but think sourly.
"Benio-san, shouldn't you be with your Club?" I asked through gritted teeth.
She laughed, turning to face me with a sensual smile that made me want to shudder.
"My dear maiden, I came to bask myself in your presence. Every moment away from you is like a tear in my heart," She grabbed my hand kneeling down in front of me.
"Every breath and I feel as if I am dying, another sigh and my life would be gone from me."
I tried tugging my hand away, but she kept an ironclad grasp on it still ranting about love and death and the mistreatment of maidens. I shot Mei a panicked look but she averted her gaze with a mischievous smirk. I swore as soon as this crazy person let go of my hand I would kill Mei before Mrs Hanabusa even got her hands on her. Scowling deeply, I began to think of all the torturous ways I could kill my best friend.
"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!" Benio spun me into her arms, dipping me low towards the ground.
Shakespeare, how original…
"You are wasting your talents here, hiding away your beauty. Please, dear maiden, join me?" She released me but kept a firm grip on my hand which she kissed.
I snatched my hand away with an annoyed sigh and a barely repressed shudder.
Finally.
"My answer is still the same, Benio-san. I have no interest in transferring back to Lobelia," I crossed my arms over my chest with a frown.
"Bbbut?" Benio stuttered her eyes wide as if I had just told her that her cat had died. "Why?"
"I'm happy here, I have friends and I have a life. You just can't expect me to give that all up for a club," I replied honestly, shrugging.
"But dear maiden, I still do not understand why you have chosen this school over Lobelia. Our sets lack your special touch and our maidens are no longer whisked away to foreign lands on adventures – your talent is lost here."
Benio swooned slightly, "And the boys here have overbearing egos and are as dull as they can possibly come, and the maidens are as equally as bad, with their whispering gossiping ways. I can protect you from their harsh words more than any idiotic boy can promise to."
"You still don't get it, do you?" Benio pulled a confused face and I sighed. "It's not about the boys, heck it's not even about how well you can or cannot protect me. The simple fact is that there are going to be whispering, gossiping girls everywhere I go. There's no point in hiding or being protected."
"And I can assure you, my talent is far from wasted here."
"Now, I think it's time for you scat. We have homework to be doing and you're being a pain," Mei butted in with a sweet grin.
Benio scowled before striking a heroic pose.
"This is not over. I shall not give up!" and with those final words, she spun away in a flurry of complicated twists and turns.
Once she was gone, Mei released her laughter. Her face turned bright red and tears were streaming down her face.
"Oh jeez, that was...gosh."
I groaned, hiding my red face in my hands.
"Please don't laugh."
"No wonder you hated Lobelia so badly. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand! O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"
"Mei you're not helping." I hissed, kicking at the gravel with my sneakers.
She snorted, wiping away her tears, before standing next to me her arm draped over my shoulder. I glared at her, but she just grinned in response.
"I hate you."
"I love you too, Nali-chan," Mei grinned ruffling my hair playfully.
I sometimes wondered what life would be like without Mei to lean on. She had been my friend for longer than I could care to admit, she knew that I hid things from her, she knew there was a bigger picture that she couldn't see, but still she stayed by my side. Without her – well I didn't like to dwell on what ifs.
"I better go, Dad promised to go over business strategies tonight," Mei pulled a face and I couldn't help but giggle.
"So basically, he's gonna teach you how to use your assets and womanly wiles."
Mei sweat dropped, while I just grinned maniacally, thinking about Mr Sarutobi's last attempt at making his daughter more womanly.
"I'll see you later." She waved at me over her shoulder before disappearing into the crowds.
"I'll keep my phone on in case you need rescuing from the clutches of your evil father."
"Hilarious," She shouted over her shoulder.
"Catch you on the flipside," I grinned.
I paused, watching as the bustling crowds devoured her slim figure. The smell of spices lingered on the breeze which sent loose sakura blossoms swirling across the bustling square. Branches swayed while the sun cast a warm glow on my still slightly damp clothing. The fountain in the middle of the square splashed quietly, the sun's rays lighting the water like sparkling diamonds. The winter was behind us, and I was looking forward to the summer.
I slipped in my earphones, muffling the sound of the crowds around me. The public library would be pretty quiet at this hour, allowing me try to deal with my growing pile of homework.
As I walked, my mind wandered back to what Benio had said about Ouran's students.
Girls who whispered and gossiped were everywhere, there was no escaping them. But the ones at Ouran where the worst kind.
They tended to come from wealthy families that upheld traditional values. They held certain views on how families should act and behave.
I wasn't deemed worthy to their families, I was something to be ashamed of. Another relative hidden in the shadows, out of view, so as not to ruin their perfect image.
And it was all my fault.
Someone like me shouldn't belong in their world. A girl who couldn't walk outside her own front door without being whispered about.
I picked at the ends of the jumper sleeves, chewing on my lip.
The eldest son was considered the heir. He was the foundation on which the family was built on. If on the rare occasion that no male heir was conceived, it is their belief that the eldest daughter should be married to a suitable blue blood of the parent's choice.
There should be no exceptions.
But there was no longer a Tanaka male heir. And I'd be damned if I let anyone marry me off some stuck up rich prick.
I paused beside the fountain, pulling out an old crumpled photo from my pocket. Five smiling faces looked up at me as I smoothed out the ancient paper.
I miss you more than I could possibly say.