Hi all! This is my first story in this fandom, "what if" story. I always liked Star Wars, but I never dove deep enough to call myself a hardcore fan. So I would like to apologize if I get Force intricacies not fully right. I will welcome any clarifications, that will help me to improve this story. Thank you!

Victory!

It was mind-blowing.

I was standing on the balcony of the First Order headquarters and I felt so happy.

Poe grabbed me from behind and lifted into the air. I screamed like a little girl feeling that he is lifting me closer to four suns of this last barrier.

Victory.

It was painful.

I haven't slept for three days helping to make plans for "cleaning" the planets of First Order descendants. I missed Finn by my side, I didn't allow to heal the burn from the explosion that took him away. I needed a reminder…

Victory…

it was unfair.

There was so much confusion, from those who felt good under First Order, from those who didn't trust Resistance… We celebrated each mission to ease consciousness. By one morning I was making out with Poe as if there was no tomorrow. Thanks Force we didn't get it further.

Victory?

It was bloody. Because unfairness brought blood…

It was my third planet for the past month. Drinks didn't fill in the emptiness. I was looking at my mask that helped me live on this windy planet, trying to understand what it was stirring inside of me. A mask. A dark mask. Kylo Ren…

The one who disappeared.

War is a funny business. I considered him to be my nemesis until I understood that there was no mentioning about him on all the ships, all the planets that we went through. No one knew exactly what happened to him.

And it was good. Less killings…

And it wasn't good, because he was still alive and our bond was still on.

I've never seen him since Crait, but I felt him, felt his presence.

In daylights it was fine, at nights it bothered me. I was waking up in cold sweat.

And this bar, this mask, so familiar. I was tired, relatively fresh wound on my shoulder sting. And I was bored, sitting in the middle of nowhere.

I left the bar, put the mask on and stumbled through sandy street to my temporary home. It wasn't much better inside and the thought of ex general of First Order still held me curious.

"Well…why not?" I thought finding a cozy place in the center of the room.

I dove into Force, I let Force dive into me. Easy, but like the first time, so edgy.

I saw glimmering threads all over me and I knew exactly which one I was searching for. This bond was bloody red.

I touched it and gasped, feeling my night episodes coming back so strongly, so persuasive.

"Rey?"

His voice hasn't changed. I let myself open my eyes and saw him sitting right before me.

The voice was the only thing that hasn't changed.

His dark hair was so long that apparently braided behind his back. He grew a beard that covered more scars on his face. Even more, one of his eyes was definitely bionic.

"Rey?"

He indeed was surprised.

"Hi…" I mumbled, looking astonished apparently.

"Not what you expected?" he grinned.
"Well… you look quite different…" I continued mumbling.
"You too. Cut your hair as I see and destroyed First Order as I heard."
Joking? He was actually joking. This weird man who resembled a hot blooded murderer from my past had a sense of humor.
"It was … a common effort," I answered, feeling guilty for some reason.
"So I heard…" his smile was so soft, posture relaxed. No demons left, no pain left…
"You are too silent for a person who facilitated this …call."
"I just…I don't know what to talk about. I…everything was so different when we talked for the last time. I was expecting that next time I see you I will need to kill you and now… War is over…well most of it. First Order is in the past. Leia," I looked at his face. It got a shadow of sadness, so I knew that he knew, "We were supposed to have this ultimate resolution, but we didn't…You stepped aside… Why? Why?!" I couldn't believe it, but my voice sounded like an accusation.
"Because I saw how it will end," he answered quietly.
"And…you didn't like it?"
"I didn't like it."
"So what did you see? Did it… come true?"
He looked me straight in the eyes, not actually entering my mind, but touching it. Not forcefully, not aggressively, like a child touching an unknown creature.
"No, it did not."
"And you are not with Dark Force?"
He thought for a second.
"It is not with me."
"What the hell is it supposed to mean?" I narrowed my eyes.
"Only that Kylo Ren got peace."
My mind was going crazy, If I wanted to have not boring evening, this was the way to do it. So many questions, too many…
"Should I call you Ben now?"
"Do you want to call me somehow?"
Teasing? Flirting?
"I.."
I didn't know what to say and for some reason he came to my rescue.
"What are you going to do tomorrow?" he asked.
At last! One easy question.
"There is a group of First Order soldiers somewhere in the desert here. I need to bring them to justice…"
"Do you?" he was teasing again," Do you really need to do anything for this universe? You won, you brought peace…Well, Resistance version of peace. Will you know run over galaxy for the rest of your days hunting every last drop of insignificant evil?"
"Quit condescending me!"
"Sorry… It is just… You know I am really happy to see you. Honestly…I wanted to reach you several times during these years, but I didn't know what to say to you. "Hey! I am glad you are alive" I knew that you are alive, I felt you…"
"I felt you too," I said impulsively.
He smiled again and stretched his hand to me. Endearing. I felt like that little girl on the island on Ahch-To, trying to reach to Ben Solo. There was no danger now…He was just a person with a glimpse of a shadow from my past.
"I will show you my coordinates: Terra, near the third star of Tinko. I would love to see you, Rey. The universe can survive for a month or two."

Coordinates flashed before my eyes as a photo that can't be unseen.

"Join me."

His last phrase hung in the room. No threat. Last time he asked me to join him, he was a part of the First Order, Dark Force. There was nothing of it left…So did I succeed? Did I actually turn him to the Light? If so…why didn't he join us?

I felt warmth inside me and I responded. My fingertips touched his. Hundreds of bloody red threads went through my fingers to his, from his palm to mine.

One more smile and then there was nothing. I, room and a pile of questions.

And this invitation. He actually wanted to see me…So strange, but I wanted to see him too.
I did want that. For so long I only wanted what was best for the universe, and this desire was selfish, purely selfish. How could I? Leave everything? Leave my mission?

Insignificant evil… Well, yeah, these soldiers are more scared than dangerous. So what if…

I battled myself. I couldn't sleep. And I knew he didn't sleep as well…Forgotten bond was as strong now as 5 years ago.

My small ship confirmed coordinates three times. As if giving me time to change my mind. But I already changed my mind. Resistance warrior Rey was going to see her old enemy, the heartbreak of her youth, her memory, the glimpse of her past… So this Rey needed to see him, to feel him, to learn who he became, to give him a name…