It's hard to believe that the small packet of white powder could cause so much trouble. It was the reason my mother had stopped loving me. It was the reason I would never see my mother again.
Before the evil dust came into our lives my mother and I were inseparable. We were more best friends than mother and daughter. My mother had had me six months after she had graduated from high school. She had never really mentioned my father, never even told him I existed. She had explained to me that my father wasn't 'a very nice man' and that it was best that I did not know him. When I had gotten older, a little bit more daring, I had questioned the reason why my mother had been with him in the first place. She smiled softly before telling me that she had been young and dumb.
Growing up my mother and I lived in the gritty neighborhoods of Seattle, Washington. We lived in a small two-story aging home along with my mother's mother, my grandmother. Before I started school, my grandmother would take care of me while my mother was at work. Even now I remember my grandmother sitting on the couch knitting me a hat while she watched her favorite soap opera, The Young and the Restless.
My mother had been wary about me being around the opposite sex. Having gotten pregnant at such a young age, she hadn't wanted me to take the same road she had. She would sometimes joke that I wasn't allowed to date until I had graduated from college. Even still she would eye my male classmates suspiciously making sure none of them had any interest in me. She hadn't known that she had nothing to worry about. That the only guys I was interested in were fictional characters.
But that all changed when my grandmother passed. Her mother's death had taken a toll on my mother and she became deeply depressed. That first week after my grandmother's passing had been the hardest. Mom had extreme mood swings; one minute she would be yelling at me for spilling a glass of water and the next minute she would beg me to hold her as she cried into my shoulder. After the funeral though my mother's mood swings ceased and she just became…lifeless. I was only 13 at the time, still just a kid. I hadn't known what to do. She had stopped going to work. She didn't even get out of bed. She would just lie on her side blinking at the opposite wall. It had gotten so bad that I would have to actually force her to eat.
Then one day she got out of bed. I had been so ecstatic. I thought she was going to change back into her old self. She had taken a shower (which she had taken in weeks), gotten dress, and actually came into the kitchen to eat with me. She hadn't spoken much though, but I still had high hopes for her recovery.
After we had eaten, she pulled on her coat and told me she would be back in a little while. That 'little while' turned out to be 4 hours. I had been in bed when she jostled me awake. She smiled down at me stupidly.
"Bella" she whispered caressing my cheek.
"M-mom" I whispered back. Her eyes were droopy and her skin pale. But then a single drop of blood began to trickle from her nose. "Mom!" I said with alarm, "Your nose"
Her fingers reached to her nose and then she pulled the fingers back to inspect them. She then wiped the back of her hand across her nose indifferently.
"Everything is gonna be alright now, baby", she whispered before lightly kissing my cheek.
Two years later after those words were spoken I realize just how wrong my mother was. Now we were standing at the corner of a street downtown. My mom paced back and forth as she waited impatiently for the man to come. I stared at her forearm as she roughly scratched the skin there. I was completely apathetic, unfeeling. My soul was lost amongst the scattered needles and packets of cocaine that my mother chose over me.
A silver car pulled over at the curb. If I weren't so uncaring I would have gawked at the luxury of the silver Volvo. Because you really didn't see nice cars where I lived.
My mother rushed over to the man that stepped out of the car. "Got the money?" she hastily asked. He didn't speak but handed over a fat leather pouch and my hard exterior cracked. I began to sob soundlessly, tears streaming down my face. My mother turns towards me and I think that maybe, just maybe she'd realize how horrible this was. I stared pitifully into her large brown eyes that were so identical to mine, willing her to end this. But then she thrust her chin towards me and told the man, "There she is." She quickly stepped pass me walking down the street, leaving me with this strange man.
The man walks slowly towards me until he's only inches away. I can see him more clearly now and feel a bit better noting that he isn't that old. Probably in his early twenties. His intense green eyes flicker across my face, searching for something. He obviously found what he was looking for or maybe he didn't, either way he still breathed out a sigh of relief. A strong winter breeze began to blow and I shivered slightly through my thin coat. The wind didn't seem to penetrate the man's thick knee-length wool coat. He held a leather gloved hand out towards me and when I didn't take it he roughly grabbed my wrist.
He leaned down until he was just centimeters away and whispered roughly. "You will never refuse me again. Is that understood?"
When I didn't answer he tightened his grip on my wrist. "Yes" I squeaked out. He smiled satisfactorily down at me and roughly pulled me over towards the car. He wrenched open the passenger side door and shoved me inside. I fell into the seat, my face hitting the cup holder. I quickly straightened up before he slid into the driver seat.
"We have a two hour ride ahead of us Isabella, and I will not be stopping. Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
Still shocked that this stranger knew my name, I shook my head no. Strong fingers wrapped tightly around my neck as the man pulled me toward him.
"When I ask you a question, you answer it with a 'yes' or 'no' unless directed otherwise." His fingers flexed around my neck before he loosened his grip. "Now answer me!"
"No…sir" I wasn't sure what to call him and didn't want to anger him further.
He surprised me by chuckling. "Please don't call me sir. I'm not that old. You may call me Edward. And I will call you Isabella…unless you would like to be called something else."
"Bella" I quickly blurted out, "Please call me Bella."
"Bella it is then" He said as he reached for my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. And that's how we sat for two hours: our hands clasped as they awkwardly rested on top of the cup holder. We drove in silence. He seemed lost in his own thoughts and I was trying to pay attention to where we were going. It was far away from where I lived, I didn't even think we were in Seattle anymore. If I were able to get away from Edward, would I be able to get back home? After what my mother had done would I even want to return home? But I knew I couldn't stay with Edward. His temper scared me and I was sure there would come a day that he would do something worse than choke me. (Not that choking wasn't bad enough)
When he finally stopped we were in front of a large suburban house. "This is my home Bella" Edward spoke as we climbed out of the car, "And now it is also yours." He led me to the door of the house and pulled out his keys. "I'll have to get a key made for you." I was about to nod before I remembered what had happened last time so I just kept quiet.
"After you" Edward smiled as he held the door open for me. I stepped pass him warily. One minute he choked me the next he was smiling at me. I wondered whether Edward was playing some sort of sick game or whether he had some serious mental condition.
Once he had stepped in he flicked on the lights. The inside of the house was as nice as the outside, which I had expected. The dining room had a large screen plasma TV as well as a fireplace. All of the furniture shared the same deep auburn color that matched perfectly with the wooden floors. The house had a comfortable homey air about it.
Edward startled me when he started to speak from behind me. "I'm sure you have many many questions for me Bella and tonight, only tonight, I will allow you to speak openly with me."
"Why am I here?" I blurted out.
Edward eyebrows scrunched up in confusion, "Your mother sold –"
"No, I mean why did you want me? Am I just some sex slave or something? What are you gonna do to me?"
"Bella", he stepped closer to me, "Your mother hasn't told you anything?"
"She told me that someone was coming to take me. That if I tried to run away I would be killed."
"I do business where you live and I would see you a lot." His hand lifted my face so that I was staring into his green orbs, "Bella…I have wanted you for a very very long time."
I guess that should have surprised me but it didn't. After all that I've been through, I felt that nothing could surprise me. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-two."
"You still didn't answer my question, you know. What are you gonna do to me?"
He tapped his chin and pursed his lips, "What am I going to do to you Isabella?" Edward walked around me his eyes roaming up and down my body like a predator sizing up its prey. Then he bent and picked me up over his shoulder. "How about I show you" he said as he walked up the stair well.
I tried to wiggle out of his tight hold and when that didn't work I started to beat on his back and kick his chest.
He stopped walking up the stairs. "Isabella" he growled, "Hit me again and I swear I will break every little bone in your fingers. One by one."
And with that threat, I remained still as Edward continued to climb the stairs. I was certain that he was taking me to a bedroom so I wasn't at all surprised when he flung back a door and slammed me on a bed.
"Remove the coat" Edward muttered before strolling over to his dresser. Not wanting to anger him further I removed my coat. When Edward came back to the bed he had a pair of handcuffs in his hand. My heart stopped beating.
"If you stay still then I won't be needing these." he said as he laid the handcuffs on the nightstand.
He scanned over my clothes. "I'll have to take you shopping soon, Bella. Why do you hide your beautiful body under those baggy clothes."
I wanted to tell him that these clothes, although unattractive, had managed to keep me somewhat warm during these cold winter nights. The oversized flannel shirt and thick corduroy pants were the only winter clothes I had.
Edward stooped down so that he was standing on his knees before me. He clutched my hand between his. "Do you know how much your mother sold you for?"
I turned my head away from him, not wanting him to see me tear up.
"She sold you for ten-thousand dollars. When she told me that price I couldn't believe she would sell so low. It was as if she had never loved you at all. Your mother was all you had and even she didn't want you."
"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered, tears already leaking from my eyes.
"I am telling you this so you will know that I am all you have. You have nowhere else to go. No one wants or loves you besides me. You are utterly and completely" he turned my face toward his, "Mine". His thumbs wiped the tears from my eyes. "You really are beautiful, Bella." His hand slid down my face to my neck and I momentarily panicked thinking that he would choke me again. But his hands continued down until they stopped at my shirt's collar. There he began to unbutton my shirt.
"Your heart is beating like a moth's wing" Edward noted as his thumb brushed across my pulse.
"Please" I whispered to him, new tears already forming in my eyes.
"Ssh" He whispered as he continued fumbling with the buttons. I remained still knowing that there was really nothing I could do. Once he had finished he slid the large shirt over my shoulders. I turned my head away, embarrassed. My breasts were adorned in a very dirty bra.
Edward leaned forward and kissed my neck. "Don't be embarrassed" he whispered against my skin. His lips trailed to my jaw where he placed open mouthed kisses. Then he moved his lips to my mouth. He kissed the corners of my lips before softly pressing his lips to mine.
Perhaps I would have enjoyed the kiss if it had been a different situation. But all of his soft caresses felt wrong. I felt wrong.
His hands were not idle as he kissed me. They rubbed softly up and down my side before traveling to my back. His fingers played with the fastening of my bra before unhooking it. The thought of being totally exposed to him scared me but I did not stop him from sliding my bra down my arms. I held my head down while Edward gazed upon my breast.
"Fucking amazing" Edward muttered before leaning forward and placing soft kisses on the side of my right breast. I hadn't realized how sensitive that area was and I shivered as Edward's kisses became rougher and his teeth grazed my skin.
"That's it, love" he whispered, "Just feel" Edward's hand grasped my left breast as he suckled the other. I trembled as his thumb lightly grazed my nipple. His tongue ran around my other nipple before he bit down harshly. I gasped from the pain and tried to push Edward off of me. But he grabbed both of my wrists and moved my hands above my head. He reached over to the night stand and grabbed the handcuffs.
"No no Edward!" I spoke nervously. "I didn't mean to-"
"Hush love" Edward said as he cuffed me to the head board, "It's probably better this way"
"No! Please Edward-" His hand clamped tightly over my mouth.
"If you don't shut up Bella I will have to gag you".
With that said, I stopped trying to get Edward to uncuff me. His hand rubbed small circles into my stomach. "Your skin is so beautiful" he said looking into my eyes, "So soft" He kissed a trail from my neck to my stomach. His tongue traced my belly button before it dipped into it. His tongue plunged in and out of my belly button and I couldn't help but think that he was showing me a preview of what's to come. His lips kissed down until he reached the top of my pants.
"Don't" I whispered, unable to control myself.
"Do you want me to gag you Isabella? Answer me."
"No, but-"
"Well than shut your mouth. If you speak again I will not hesitate"
His fingers slid underneath my pants and he lightly skimmed the top of my underwear. "I guess you could say I'm going into uncharted territory."
I narrowed my eyes. So my mother had told him I was a virgin. Was that why he wanted me so badly?
He quickly unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down to my knees. He kissed me through my underwear before removing them. A tear slid down my cheek as realization hit. Or maybe I had realized it early on but suppressed the idea. Either way I would have to face the facts: I was going to lose my virginity to a man I had only known for a few hours. It would be no act of love but rather a lesson in learning. Edward had to prove to me exactly who I belonged to.
A/N You guys are probably thinking "God she's so sick" lol. If you like it and want me to continue please review.