I don't own NCIS and never will. No copyright infringement intended.
Author's Note: So sad and angry over what happened. These people deserve nice things sometimes! And now I'm wondering if Jimmy and Breena will get their baby when Jackson Gibbs dies.
Jimmy never expected this to happen when they started the process to adopt. He knows the birth mother has rights and it's perfectly okay for her to change her mind, but he and Breena had been so happy. Now the rug's been ripped out from underneath them, and they're both struggling. Just the thought of going through this a second time and having it happen again is unbearable to even wonder about. Both he and Breena want to be parents and were so excited about meeting their baby. He's glad Gibbs got through to him, though – that was exactly what Jimmy needed. And it made sense too, now that he wasn't so lost in his grief. As soon as he opened the door, Jimmy rushed to Breena's side and hugged his wife. "I love you."
"I love you too," she whispered back, sniffling. Breena hadn't been able to stop crying for hours. She did want to try again, but she missed the little boy they nearly had. Parenthood was an exciting step, one they had both been ready for.
He sighed and sat down on their couch. "I never expected it to happen like that."
"Neither did I, Jimmy." Breena didn't get angry since she knew what her husband meant to say. Actually, she didn't even have the energy to get angry.
"We'll start all over again. It'll be okay, Breena." Jimmy was finally starting to believe it, even though he still felt like shit.
"I know it will be. What changed your mind?" She had known Jimmy had been against the idea when she told him the same thing ever.
Jimmy laughed. "Gibbs, actually. He got mad at me for giving up earlier and told me I wouldn't be feeling this way if I wasn't ready. And I realized he was right. We can grieve for what could have been, but still choose to adopt. And we'll meet the baby that needs us soon. We'll love them so much they can't stand it. What do you think?" He put his arm around her and the two snuggled.
"I think that's a wonderful idea. As hard as it is to think about, maybe this adoption just wasn't meant to be. And even though it doesn't seem like it now, we'll be fine." Breena sniffled and leaned into her husband even more. This hadn't been how they expected to end the day – she had been looking forward to naming the baby and holding him. Now they had a nursery (and a lot of baby items) and no baby to use it. It sucked.
"We definitely will be." Jimmy didn't believe it at the moment but he knew it was true. Gibbs and Breena were on the right track for sure.
"I closed the nursery door. Couldn't stand to look in there," she explained. Breena didn't think she'd be able to go in there for a long time.
"We have all this baby stuff in the car, and I think I'll put it in storage until we're ready for them." He sighed and then yawned, suddenly exhausted. It had been a long day, and nothing good seemed to have happened.
"Sounds like a good idea." And then Breena finally broke and she began to sob, setting off her husband. The two of them held each other and cried. Once the tears dried up, Jimmy and Breena headed to bed to try and get some sleep.
They both toss and turn all night, nightmares about something worse happening keeping them awake. And when Jimmy and Breena finally gave up on sleeping, they feel worse in the morning. No matter how many times they try to tell themselves they'll be okay, neither really believe it. "I can call off work and we can spend the day together," he suggested.
She shook her head. "I need a distraction, Jimmy. We both should go into work and pretend like everything is normal."
That worried him. "Are you sure. Breena?"
Breena nodded. "Yes. Jimmy, we can't wallow in self-pity and grief at home by ourselves today. It's really not healthy for either of us." She would love to spend the day with him – go shopping or something – but they couldn't do it. The grief (and anger) would only drag them down more if they didn't continue on with their day. Yes, they could have been planning on bringing their son home from the hospital today, but it wasn't going to happen and they had to accept it.
Jimmy kissed her goodbye and then reluctantly headed off to work. Maybe there'd be a new case to distract them – he hoped so. But unfortunately, there was nothing. Work had slowed down for Jimmy and Ducky, something he hated. He ended up bolting to the bathroom to fall apart in one of the stalls at one point. "Come on, Palmer. Pull yourself together," he whispered. If only it was that easy. He was grateful no one mentioned anything about the baby, but it also made Jimmy furious at the same time. In fact he got so angry, he ended up kicking the garbage can around – something Tony walked in on.
"Are you okay?" Tony questioned.
Jimmy laughed. "Do I look okay, Tony? I'm so angry I can't stand it, but I'm bouncing back and forth between this and wanting to cry every minute of the day. Why can't good things ever happen to us? The bomb and Ducky's heart attack happened on our wedding day. We go to adopt and the birth mother backs out. How the fuck is any of this fair?" he screamed.
Tony's eyes widened – he had never seen Jimmy this upset before. He pulled him away from the poor innocent garbage can and hugged Jimmy for a few minutes. "Go home and be with your wife, Palmer. Work clearly isn't helping, and you need to deal with this. Take it from someone who knows, okay?"
Jimmy laughed. "I was hoping work would distract me, but it's only making it worse."
"Come back in a few days after you and Breena have worked through all your grief. And if you ever need someone to talk to…," he offered.
"Thanks, Tony." Jimmy pulled away and then headed back downstairs to tell Ducky he was heading home. Much to his surprise, Breena was on the couch crying again (and eating ice cream) when he did so.
"I couldn't do it," she explained.
"I couldn't either so don't blame yourself. Tony had to talk me down." He grabbed a spoon from the kitchen and dug into the ice cream with her, grateful it was sugar-free.
Jimmy and Breena would get to adopt the baby they so desperately wanted but for now, they comforted each other and grieved. Neither one could bear to push the other away. And in time, Jimmy and Breena would heal from this, especially when they had support from friends and family.