Dedication: To Stella, my personal rock star. May everyday be filled with pink hearts, puppies, sunshine, and Harry/Draco goodness!
A/N: Understood that it's a wee bit early for Valentines, but I could not help myself. Motivated by my personal rock star, this fic is loosely based on the happenings of the Buffy episode, "Once More with Feeling". I made the fic take place in seventh year, because some of the content really should not be displayed by young ones. I also chose a PG-13 rating to be on the safe side, mainly because of sexual content and bad language. I have never written fluff, so not sure how this turned out…I'm a little nervous.
Disclaimer: How many times must I tell you? They are not mine!
Valentine's Day
Ball
Because they asked, and we want to give the Hufflepuffs something to do, Hogwarts will be hosting another ball, this time it's in honor of Valentines Day. This is for sixth and seventh years only since first through fifth years need to be in bed at a decent hour.
Come if you want, dress ropes preferred, though we aren't going to do anything if you don't dress appropriately…
Hermione turned from the enchanted parchment which seemed, unlikely enough, to have fallen asleep.
"Why do I have a feeling that Hogwarts is lacking the usual excitement regarding these balls?" she asked Ron.
"Maybe because the Yule Ball spawned lots of baby balls that have been held almost every month, and the Yule Ball was two years ago!" Ron replied, "Bloody hell, how do the Hufflepuffs keep getting permission for these things? Why do we keep going? Do we have to go this time?" He whined.
Hermione rolled her eyes and walked away, wishing to herself that maybe, this time, he will actually ask her.
Ron looked around the now empty common room.
"Where's Harry?"
News spread throughout the school, not as fast as say news about a certain Boy-Who-Lived, but it spread none-the-less.
Two people in particular were extremely excited about the upcoming ball. You see, they have been keeping a secret since the last ball that they have been dying to tell, yet would die if they did tell.
Quite a predicament.
"This could be our chance!" One whispered to the other.
"How can this be our chance?" came the answer.
"I don't know, but something tells me that we will hatch a diabolical plan that will get our secret revealed…without us revealing it!"
"Ummm…okay!"
"Yeah"
"Hungry?"
"Yeah"
With that, our Diabolical Duo made their way to the Great Hall.
Harry, who had awaken early and already seen the notice, was not surprised when he entered the Great Hall and saw the Hufflepuffs in a blurry of exhilaration.
"Maybe they have some kind of short-term memory problem that prevents them from remembering the last ball we had only a month ago." Harry said as he sat down next to his friends. Ron snorted into his pumpkin juice and Hermione gave him a look mixed of reprimand and amusement.
Harry did not have short-term memory; he remembered the last ball with perfect detail. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift back to the moment of the good-night kiss with…
"HARRY!"
Harry jerked his eyes open and looked at Ron.
"Let me guess, you've been talking to me for the past ten minutes and I haven't heard a word you said" He asked his friend.
Ron blinked, "How'd you know?"
"Because history predicted it." Harry answered.
Ron just looked more confused.
Harry sighed and tried again, "Because it has happened before Ron, and I recognize that tone of aggravation in your voice."
Hermione giggled from behind her textbook.
Ron blinked again, "Oh, okay Harry…So I was asking you if you were going to go to the ball?"
Several heads rose in anticipation of his answer, but Harry just shrugged and tucked into his breakfast.
A pair of eyes watched this entire exchange from across the room. They were watching when he came in. They were watching when he sat down and began to talk with his friends. They were watching as he raised the goblet of pumpkin juice and secured the rim with his soft, tender lips…
'Look away' ordered the mind.
Sigh
The pair of eyes surrendered the view of those lips and closed to drift back to the first time he felt those lips against…
'Stop it!' demanded the mind.
Damn brain…"I think I found the perfect thing!" one-half of our Diabolical Duo cried.
"That's good!" said the other, looking around, "You know, I didn't even know this school had a library."
"Me neither. I just happened to find it when I was looking for a bathroom." He shrugged, "Our good luck, right?"
Our Diabolical Duo high-fived each other, completely missed, and fell onto the floor. After picking themselves up, they leaned over the large book and hatched a plan while trying to figure out what all the big words meant.
"So, what do you think about this Valentine's Day Ball?" Harry shyly asked his lover.
"I have many feelings about it." His lover answered, "I have disgust for the Hufflepuffs for asking and getting permission for another ball. I have anger that we can't go together. I have jealousy at the thought of you going with someone else. Oh! And I have anger that we can't go together."
"Wow" Harry replied, "That was quite a roller coaster of emotion."
"Don't I know it."
"Well," Harry continued, "If it weren't for those disgusting Hufflepuffs and their "Just Because it's January Ball", we would not be sitting here in this dusty, damp, dark, empty classroom—"
"Ironically, the exact place I have always pictured my romantic encounters."
"Shush it. And though it would be suicide for us to announce to the school/world that we are together, even though we are running-through-the-field happy—"
"Running-through-the-field happy?"
"It's a muggle thing…stop interrupting! So even you have to admit that we owe a bit of gratitude to those "disgusting" Huffle-mmmrph!"
Harry didn't mind the interruption of those lips on his, and had already forgotten the point he was trying to make.
The day of the ball arrived, and regardless of the initial lack of excitement, it turned out that many of the students could not ignore the appeal of a school dance. Every common room was a buzz of anticipation of what the evening might hold.
Harry and his lover had mutually agreed to go to the ball without a date, much to the chagrin of their respective housemates. Yes, they were disappointed that they could not go together, but they did allow a wee bit of excitement to seep through as they thought of different ways they could sneak off together.
"Maybe if the music is loud enough, we can sneak a dance outside on the terrace?" Harry had suggested earlier that day.
"Maybe, but your static cling friends would have to take their eyes off of you and that would take a miracle."
That earned Harry's lover a smack in the head.
"OW! You better not have messed up the hair!"
"Relax, it's fine. You do have a point though. I tried all week to get Ron to ask Hermione to the ball so they would both be occupied, but his face actually surpassed the usual red and explored new shades of purple at the mere thought of telling or even hinting to Hermione how he really feels."
"Are you telling me all this because you think I care?"
Another smack
"OW! Stop it!"
Harry continued, "What about your "bodyguards"? Here you are complaining about my friends and you haven't even acknowledged yours!"
"They are nothing to worry about. All I have to do is point and say 'Ooo…something shiny' and off they go".
Harry didn't look convinced.
"Trust me, I used the same technique at the last ball and it worked. They didn't see a thing"
But they did.
The Diabolical Duo watched all the excitement in their common room, and felt a little giddy themselves. Then they remembered that they had hatched an evil plan to reveal their secret about a certain couple, and they got even giddier, emphasized with a little chuckling. One of them, feeling a little anxious turned to the other and said,
"Are we sure we should do this?"
"Of course! He deserves it for always expecting us to fall for the 'look over there!' trick."
"Yeah, you're right."
"Ooooo, what's that? It looks shiny!"
And off they went.
Dinner was consumed and the dishes and tables were cleared away to make room for the dance floor. Just like the Yule Ball, and every ball since, a scattering of smaller tables appeared. Some empty with chairs, others held refreshments.
The Weird Sisters had grown tired of always playing at Hogwarts some time ago, so Dean Thomas had taken the roll of D.J.
At first, it seemed the ball would progress like all the others, and be rather boring. But a flash of pyrotechnics at the front of the hall stopped all the mundane chatter and obligatory dancing.
The sparks shot up towards the ceiling and lasted for about two minutes before they died down. Everyone in the hall leaned forward to see who was behind them.
But no one was there.
"Dammit! I told you that we were supposed to be up there!"
Everyone turned towards the voice coming from the corner of the room.
"Come on!"
All eyes watched as Crabbe and Goyle dropped their cauldron cakes and lumbered to the front of the hall.
"That's right everybody!" yelled Doyle, "We are the Diabolical Duo and we have a surprise for you! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
Students were looking at each other, trying to figure out if this was for real, or some kind of impromptu baboon performance. Someone made the decision for all as their laughter broke the silence and became contagious through the rest of the hall.
Crabbe and Goyle were laughing to, not sure what the joke was, and then they realized that everyone was laughing at them. They raised their wands, and in unison shouted:
"ADIMPLEO AMITTO!"
And the hall fell silent as a mist descended on them.
The spell affected Pansy Parkinson first; and she got up in a daze, sauntered over to Professor Snape, straddled him in his chair and began to sing.
I love myself
I want you to love me
When I feel down
I want you above me
She got up, swinging her legs around, ending up right behind the still seated Snape.
I search myself
I want you to find me
I forget myself
I want you to remind me
Snape was blushing furiously as Pansy continued her ministrations on him. She was still behind him, running her fingers up and down his chest, and then she swiveled to face him again, backed a few steps and began to crawl towards him.
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no
She crawled all the way up to him, placed both hands on his knees, and slithered into his lap.
I close my eyes and see you before me
Think I would die if you were to ignore me
A fool could see just how much I adore you
I get down on my knees I do anything for you
She got up from Snape's lap, moving behind him once more, draped a leg over his shoulder while running her hands through his limp, greasy hair.
I don't want anybody else
When I think about you I touch myself
Ooh I don't want anybody else
Oh no, oh no, oh no
She finished with one leg still over Snape's shoulder, and with a shake of her head realization dawned upon her.
A horrified gasp and a muffled "meep" from behind her hands currently hiding her face were the only sounds heard before she turned and fled into the bathroom.
All eyes shifted back to the pair at the front of the room, who at least had the decency to look terrified.
Crabbe whispered to Goyle, "That wasn't supposed to happen."
Hermione marched herself up to the two and slapped them both across the face.
"Idiots!" she yelled, "Why on earth you two thought you could perform a spell properly is beyond me!"
She turned to face the rest of the students.
"The spell they cast melts away all inhibition and forces you to confront the one you desire by singing them a song…usually a very suggestive one. The spell is over once you have completed your rendition; there is no other way to break it."
She turned back to the now Cowering Duo.
"Why on earth would you cast this?" she demanded.
Goyle answered, "We didn't know it would have this effect! We only wanted to reveal a secret between –"
They were interrupted by the sound of Hermione slapping herself.
"No, no, no, no" she cried as her eyes began to glaze over.
I made it through the wilderness
She sang as she turned and made her way towards Ron.
Somehow I made it through.
Didn't know how lost I was until I found you.
Hermione stopped in front of Ron and began circling him in a very predatory like manner.
I was beat
incomplete
I'd been had,
I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Each rotation brought Hermione closer and closer to Ron until she was mere inches from him. She faced him again and ran her finger down his face and over his lips.
Yeah, you made me feel
Shiny and new
She backed up, placing the same finger that had run over his lips in her mouth, and adopted a very pouty expression.
Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
She approached him again, standing flush against his body with her hands on his hips.
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine
She lowered herself to the floor, bringing Ron with her, and held his face in her hands almost tenderly.
Gonna give you all my love, boy
My fear is fading fast
Been saving it all for you
'Cause only love can last
Ron stood, but Hermione stayed down, playfully rolling around.
Like a virgin
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine
She stopped suddenly, the haze leaving her eyes. She got up from the floor and bravely faced all those staring at her.
"Folks, we are in for an interesting night."
Students tried to leave, but the spell would not let them until their song was sung. They were forced to watch as Terry Boot sang "Fever" to Anthony Goldstein.
And Justin Finch-Fletchey sang, "I Wanna be a Cowboy" to Hannah Abbot.
Those weren't as bad as Millicent Bulstrode singing "I Want your Sex" to Cho Chang, or Blaise Zambini singing "Nasty Boys" to…well…everyone.
The songs weren't always done by one person, proven by the Patil twins and their interpretation of "Let's Talk About Sex", or Ginny and Neville singing, "You are an Obsession ".
Even the faculty wasn't safe. After the performance of Dumbledore singing "Sexual Healing" to McGonagall, Snape got the telltale daze in his eyes and approached Professor Trelawney.
Take a look at me
Tell me do you like, whatcha see
He began to caress himself, massaging his chest, inching closer to Professor Trelawney.
Kiss me pretty baby,
touch me all over
Girl what makes you think you can deal with me
Do you think you can do me?
He ripped off his robes, revealing a very pasty and pale chest…and a thong.
Do me baby
Do me baby
Do you think you can
Do me baby
Do me babyHe grabbed the shocked woman and began a very impressive Tango-type dance, spinning her around and around and finally bringing her into a low dip.
Girl let your hair down,
take off your clothes,
leave on your shoes
Would you mind if I looked at you for a moment
before I make sweet love
He brought her back up and rested her head against his shoulder before picking her up and sitting her down into a chair. He backed up and commenced to undulate his stomach, apparently attempting to Belly Dance.
Do me baby
Do me baby
I love it in the morning time
Do my baby
Sometimes I like it in the evening babySuddenly, he snapped out of it, fled the hall, shouting that classes were cancelled for a month.
Most of the students were actually pleased with the spell, as many new couples were brought together. No one was more pleased then Ron, who after singing "I'll be lovin' you forever" to Hermione, found himself in a passionate kiss and later gave Crabbe and Goyle a hearty handshake.
But Harry was too nervous to see this newfound happiness for his friends. He was casting furtive glances to his lover and was pleased to see that he was just as nervous. No one had yet noticed that there were two people that had not sung yet. Maybe everyone would leave before…uh oh. Harry could feel the effect take hold and looked to his lover for support, but saw the same haziness mirrored in the other's eyes.
Crabbe and Goyle had rejoined the group from their spotlight place at the front of the hall. Caught up in the entertainment of the evening, they had completely forgotten the reason they had cast the spell in the first place, and therefore shared the surprise with everyone as Harry and Draco began to sing.
It started with Harry, bursting from the crowd;
Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
Then Draco stepped out from other side of the room,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
Harry took another step closer,
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So did Draco
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
Then simultaneously, they strutted the rest of the way to each other.
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
really really wanna zigazig ha.
Just as they were about to reach each other, Draco held up his hand in a motion of "stop"
If you want my future
forget my past,
If you wanna get with me
better make it fast,
Harry grabbed the proffered hand and spun Draco around to bring his back flush with his chest.
Now don't go wasting
my precious time,
Get your act together we could be just fine
Draco turned around to face Harry. They broke apart and Harry started to advance on Draco, who backed-up with every step Harry made.
If you wanna be my lover,
you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever
friendship never ends,
Draco stopped and began advancing on Harry who began to back up.
If you wanna be my lover,
you have got to give,
Taking is too easy,
but that's the way it is.
Harry held up his hands in surrender and continued to back up. Draco flung himself down to his knees and slid on the floor, skidding to a stop a few inches away. Harry reached down and cupped his hand on Draco's chin.
What do you think about that now you know how I feel,
Say you can handle my love are you for real,
Draco jumped to his feet as Harry started to walk away. He grabbed Harry by the shoulder and spun him around.
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye.
They separated; walking to their respective sides of the room, and reemerged with back-up in tow. Harry, now flanked by Ron and Hermione faced Draco, who was accompanied by Crabbe and Goyle. All six started swinging one arm over their head, rocking back and forth.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.
Ron and Hermione faced each other, brought their arms up and created a bridge. Crabbe and Goyle grabbed hands and skipped under, then Draco and Harry, also holding hands, frolicked through.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,
Make it last forever friendship never ends,
They all gathered together in a big group pose.
If you wanna be my lover
Ron and Hermione broke away first, looking rather embarrassed. Crabbe and Goyle, who looked rather pleased with themselves, followed. Harry and Draco stayed put, both casting bashful looks around the room.
Silence at first, then someone started clapping and soon the Great Hall was filled with thunderous applause, catcalls and whistles.
"You all aren't upset over this?" Harry asked nervously.
Ron slapped him on the back and said, "Hell no! Why should we be?"
"Well you know, he's Death Eater in training, mean to us for years, blah, blah, blah."
"True" said Hermione, "We would be shouting those things at you right now if we hadn't already made peace with it."
"You already made peace with it?" questioned Harry, "How? When? You guys just found out!"
Ron winked, "Nah mate, we've known since the last ball."
"Really Harry, you should give us more credit. You know we follow you everywhere." giggled Hermione.
The brightest smile ever recorded spread on Harry's face as he grabbed Draco and pulled him into a fiery kiss.
The Great Hall erupted in applause again.
Fin
Now, to give credit where credit is due:
"I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls
"Like a Virgin" by Madonna
"Fever" by Eva Cassidy
"I Wanna be a Cowboy" by Boys Don't Cry
"I Want your Sex" by George Michael
"Nasty Boys" by Janet Jackson
"Let's Talk About Sex" by Salt-n-Pepa
"You are my Obsession" by Aminotion
"Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye
"Do Me" by Bel Biv Devoe
"I'll be Lovin' You Forever" by New Kids on the Block
"Wannabe" by The Spice Girls
If you're not familiar with these songs, I highly recommend you look up the lyrics so you can fully appreciate the hilarity of it.
A/N: The spell "Adimpleo Amitto" came from the Latin words for "perform" and "let go".
A/N part deux: So…I had a little fun with this one, hope you enjoyed it. Hey! I have a great idea! You can leave a review to tell me if you enjoyed it…or didn't…or that I should not quit my day job.