Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and the title for the chapter and the title title are both from Robert Frost poems (yes I am a shameless quote stealer).


The calm of heaven break

-

i. nature's first green is gold

-

"Regulus, remember to take heed to what your cousin Narcissa says. She is a Slytherin and in her seventh year, she knows what is best for you. I'm sure that she'll introduce you to some proper friends that you can make; I heard that one of the Rosier's is going to be in your year and I would strongly advise you to-"

Regulus leans his head against the car (foul muggle devices, his mother calls them but that didn't stop her from using them when convenient) window and half-listens to his mother's words. On his other side sits his brother, breathing on the window and trying to make faces in the fog. Or maybe they are cuss words; it's somewhat hard to tell. Not that he knows much about cuss words, to be honest, despite Bella's infamous profanity habits.

"Regulus, you are listening aren't you?" His mother's voice is piercing and shrill, a common Black trait. After all, he thinks, all the better to have people hear you with, my dear.

"Yes mother," he mumbles, sounding a bit like his brother. His mother notices that too.

"Excuse me?" she says, a now threatening note in her tone.

"Yes mother," he repeats again, but loudly and without sarcasm. He half expects his brother to mock him, but Sirius doesn't.

It had been that way for the entire summer or at least since the argument over the Andromeda incident. His mother would give Sirius the cold shoulder while simultaneously addressing not so subtle snides to him through her 'advice' to Regulus. Sirius, in turn, would ignore everyone in the family including him.

It was enough to make anyone go mad.

"Oh, and Regulus do make sure you enter Slytherin. How shameful it would be to have son in a different house, I do not know what I would do with you if that happened."

Sirius pretends not to notice her words, but Regulus swears that he sees frown lines appear.

"I'm sure I'll make it into Slytherin, mother." He can see his mother smile from the rear view window.

It somewhat sickens him.

-

The year before, Regulus had believed that platform 9 and 3/4 was a wonderful and magical thing. He had waved jealously at Sirius, who was about to embark on his first year at Hogwarts, as the train sped along soon leaving Regulus behind.

It was one of the few times when he hated being the youngest.

But now facing the multitude of people and owls and cats and trunks and hugs and kisses and tearful goodbyes, he is suddenly overcome with fear. He is not meant for these loud noises and confusion- but you've handled Mother's screams and Sirius' and Andromeda's betrayal so well, haven't you- and Hogwarts doesn't seem quite so grand without his brother's support at his side.

(I know Mum and Dad are angry at my being sorted into Gryffindor, but they can just bugger off. It's so liberating here at Hogwarts, Reg, I feel like I can be my own self and I've made such good friends. Just you wait until you come next year, it'll be great...)

He never showed his mother any of the letters he received from Sirius. He isn't entirely sure why.

Sirius has already run off to join his Gryffindor friends (blood traitors and mudbloods, no doubt) and it is just Regulus and his mother. He is sure that some farewell of some sort is in order here, but he doesn't know what to say. So he stares at his shoes and fidgets uncomfortably.

"Ah, here comes Narcissa. About time I would say, but I'm not one to criticize."

Regulus springs his head up, and can see Cissy clearly from her throng of friends. He never liked her much- always liked Andy the best out of the cousins (he shoves the thought quickly out of his head)- she is a bit of a vain priss who talks to him as if he was five. Still, he appreciates seeing a familiar face even if her smile comes out fake as she approaches them.

"Hello Aunt Walburga, I'm so sorry that I made you wait. I just got distracted by a couple of friends; I trust you know how that is." The words were charming enough, but there was a distinct haughtiness to the way Cissy said them. It was what made her stand out in the crowd.

"No matter at all," his mother is also proficient at the fake smiles, "I'm just grateful that you offered to help Regulus out. After all, it would be horrible if he were to make the wrong choices."

"No doubt. Now come along Reggie, I know some first years from good families that I would be only too happy to introduce you to."

He forgets to wave to his mother, as Cissy drags him by the hand. The funny thing is he is almost grateful that he doesn't have to.

-

They are all taller than him. Octavius Rosier, Ralph Wilkes, and Julius Avery are absolute giants. Of course there is the other option that he is just short, but Bella has complained enough about his scrawniness for him to not feel the need to self-deprecate himself as well. However they don't seem to notice or if they do they don't show it.

"Reggie, these are the brothers of some good friends of mine. I'm sure that they'll promise to be excellent companions," Cissy says before joining her friends in another compartment.

The ensuing silence is horrifically awkward.

"Well… How do you guys like Quiditch?" Ralph finally asks.

The conversation takes up the entire train ride.

-

Hogwarts looms ahead, bright and impenetrable from the little boats. The nervous feeling Regulus had at the train station returns and he is sorely tempted to turn right around and give up this whole Hogwarts nonsense. He looks at Julius, Ralph, and Tavius (pain of a name to have- he had said- but I absolutely refuse to be called Tavi, or worse Oct. They all laughed of course) but their faces betray no signs of anxiety, only impressed excitement. Regulus tries to copy their expressions, and sincerely hopes that he doesn't end up looking constipated.

"I'm sure to enter Slytherin; my entire family has been there. How embarrassing it would be to enter another house-"Ralph sends Julius a not so subtle look, and he rapidly shuts up.

Apparently Sirius' sorting had passed through the grape vine. Mother would not be pleased.

"I think that I would leave Hogwarts and declare myself a squib if that was to happen. It would be a disgrace to not be in Slytherin, not to mention all those filthy mudbloods in the other houses." Regulus tries to copy his mother's proud tone, but he thinks he just comes off being pretentious.

The other boys laugh though, albeit Ralph's seems kind of strained and nervous.

"Hear, hear!" Tavius cries, his voice rich with mirth. Regulus smiles, and inwardly thanks Cissy for introducing him to such good friends.

Even if he sometimes feels like he is lying through his teeth.

-

"Avery, Julius!" The sorting hat yells, its voice echoing around the Great Hall. Regulus stares in wonder at the room, far more impressive than anything he had ever seen. Not that he would ever tell his mother that. She would be horribly insulted.

"Slytherin!" The hat booms and Regulus claps along with the Slytherin table. Julius looks considerably happy, no, confident of himself as he joins the rest of the table.

Regulus gets nervous again.

He barely registers the other names, except for a Baer, Jane who gets sorted into Gryffindor. He watches Sirius clap at the Gryffindor table, and for a moment he looks at Regulus with a small smile but he turns away the next second.

"Black, Regulus!"

He feels like he is going through a death march as he slowly trudges his way up to the stool. The entire hall seems to have gone dead silent (don't be silly- a small voice says- you're just being paranoid) and he starts to wish that they would all just turn around or something. He can't bear their stares.

The stool is tall for him, he can hear an imaginary Bella laughing at his struggle to get up from, and waits for McGonagall to put the hat on his head. Instantly everything becomes a comforting darkness.

"A Black, eh?" Its voice says, intruding and disturbingly personal, "Your brother caused quite an uproar with his sorting last year. But you, you are definitely more of a Slytherin. Cunning, not ambitious yet but that comes with time. Yes, yes"

And then its voice amplifies itself again, yelling "Slytherin!"

The Slytherin table claps and makes a good deal of noise. Regulus smiles (fake, like Cissy and mother) and tries to copy Julius' confidant walk to the Slytherin table.

He doesn't look over at the Gryffindor table.

-

Ralph and Tavius are also sorted into Slytherin. No surprise of course. Cissy shows Regulus off to all her friends. Probably trying to redeem the Black name, a cynical voice in his head says and he promptly steps on it. But the feeling remains.

That night he has trouble going to sleep. He blames it on Tavius' snores.

He is getting good at lying to himself.


A/N: Well, I've only written oneshots and such so I hope I can do a good job with a multi-chapter story. I also hope that I made Regulus realistic... Er, as realistic as a fictional wizard can be, of course. I would love to hear any constructive criticism, but really any reviews at all make me feel very warm and fuzzy inside :)