A friendly YouTube community where the games are hot, the jokes are beautiful, and mysterious lights flash on screen while we all put off our sleep. Welcome to Late Night.
Hello viewers. To start things off, I've been asked to read this announcement: The YouTube Council announces the opening of a new comment section layout at the corner of Cry and Aotic near the video. They would like to remind everyone that comments are not allowed in the comment section. Words are not allowed in the comment section. It is possible you will see strange links in the comment section. Do not approach them. Do not approach the comment section. The fans are terrifying and highly dangerous. Try not to look at the comment section, and especially do not look for any period of time at the XD emoticon faces. The comment section will not harm you.
And now, the Crew.
Dread Woman Red out near the chat box says the fan girls revealed themselves to her; said they were ten feet tall, rampant, and one of them was black; said they helped her with various household chores. One of them made a drawing for her; a gender-bend. She's offering to sell the old one, which has been touched by a fan girl. It was the black fan girl, if that sweetens the pot for anyone. If you're interested, contact Dread Woman Red. She's out near the chat box.
A new man came into town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful glasses? He says he is a gamer. Well, we have all been gamers at one point or another in our lives. But why now? Why here? And just what does he plan to do with all those controllers and humming electrical instruments in that room he is renting—the one next to Big Leppy's Pizza? No one does a slice like Big Leppy. No one.
Just a reminder to all the players out there. Let's talk about safety when taking your fan base out to play in the Sup Lands and the Ship Wastes. You need to give them plenty of energy drinks, make sure there's wifi in the area, and keep an ear out for the fan girl shrieks. Are the unnamed fans screaming with short sobs? Probably fan fiction writers. Not a good area for play that day. Are they giggling quietly? That's the Fandom's Secret Celebrity. They'll keep a good eye on your fans, and hardly ever take one. Are the fan girls painted with complex drawings depicting strange AU's? No one knows what those fan girls are, or what they want. Do not play in the area. Return to your home, and lock the doors until the Fandom's Secret Celebrity leaves a sketch on your porch to indicate that the danger has passed. Cover your ears to blot out the screams. Also, remember: Gatorade is basically soda, so give your fan base plain old water, and maybe some mashed potatoes when they play.
A comic by a well known fandom artist was posted today, only to reappear in the Late Night art tag during a blogger's collection of "favourite art"; disrupting the peace quite badly. The art stood out awkwardly in the tag for only a fraction of a second, and before it could strike up any hate or angry fans, it vanished again, this time apparently for good. There is no word yet on if or how this will affect Late Night fan's mood, and also, if this could perhaps be the work of their bitter rivals, the YouTuber fan base. YouTube fans are always trying to show us up through creepier comments, stupider game suggestions, and possibly, by transporting a repost into our fandom, making us look bad for several seconds at least. For shame, YouTube fans. For shame.
That new gamer we now know is named Russ called a crew meeting. He has a square jaw and teeth white as a Wii remote. His hair is perfect, and we all hate and despair and love that perfect hair in equal measure. Dread Woman Red brought turkey and ham sandwiches, which were decent, but lacked wham bam. She said the fan girls had taken her wham bam for a gamely mission, and she hadn't yet gotten around to buying more. Russ told us that we are, by far, the strangest people in the Stream community, and he had come to study just what is going around here. He grinned, everything about him was perfect, and I fell in love instantly. Strange fans from a similar, yet menacing, fan base were in the back, watching. I fear for Russ. I fear for Late Night. I fear for anyone caught between what they watch, and what they don't yet own and play.
We received a press release this morning. The Late Night Crew Association is proud to announce the opening of the brand new Late Night Harbor and video game area. I have been to this website myself recently on their invitation, and I can tell you that it is absolutely absurd, and yet beautiful. Sturdy drawing areas made from blog-friendly post-making material, a collection of quotes for casuals, and plenty of screen caps ready for reposting. Now, there is some concern about the fact that, given we are in the middle of the internet, there is no actual sanity at the website—and that is a definite drawback, I agree. For instance, the Cry Tag is currently going on about shipping and the lot. The Angry Fan Association did not provide any specific remedies for this problem, but they assured me that the new pairing would be a big boost to Late Night nonetheless. Maybe wait until a cute drawing shows up and spawns a larger following, and head down there for the full OTP experience.
The local chapter of the LNC is selling bumper stickers as part of their fundraising week. They sent the station one to get some publicity, and we're here to serve the community so I'm happy to let you all know about it. The stickers are made from good, sturdy vinyl, and they read, "Streams Don't Kill People; It's Impossible To Be Killed By A Stream; We Are All Invincible To Buffering And It's A Miracle." Stand outside of your front door and shout, "LNC," to order one.
Russ and his team of game developers warn that one of the videos in the new development of Internet Creek, out back of the old elementary school, doesn't actually exist. It seems like it exists, explained Russ and his perfect hair, like it's just right there when you look at it. And it's between two identical videos, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But, he says, they have done experiments, and the video is definitely not there. At news time, the game developers are standing in a group in front of the nonexistent video, daring each other to go look at the comments.
A great howling was heard from the Late Night Post- Stream craze yesterday after alleged proof of a ship being canon. The OP claims no regrets, although rebloggers described the sound as being a little like a human soul, being destroyed through D&D. The Solid Tracker—now, I don't know if you've seen this guy around; he's the one who appears to be of maybe konamic origin, and wears a headband out of some Japanese game and claims to be from a video game himself—he appeared on the scene, and swore that he would discover the source. No one responded because it's really hard to one up him.
Lights, seen in the sky above the Best Buy. Not the glowing sign of Best Buy; something higher and beyond that. We know the difference. We've caught onto their game. We understand the lights-above-Best Buy game. Gamers from another site. Ladies and gentlemen, the fandom is here, and it's about a hundred feet above the Best Buy.
Russ and his game developers at the monitoring station near Route 800 say their computer monitors have been indicating wild texture shifts, meaning to say that the ground texture is bugging out all over the place. I don't know about you folks, but my ground texture has been as perfect and properly edited as any texture should be. Russ says that they've double-checked the monitors and they are in perfect working order. To put it plainly, there appears to be catastrophic clipping textures happening right here in Late Night that absolutely no one can deal with. Well, submit a post about it anyway, see what notes you can get, right?
Traffic time, viewers. Now, police are issuing warnings about chats goers, out on the stream, whose comments only visible in the distance, reaching unimaginable speeds, leaving destinations unknown for destinations more unknown. They would like to remind you that you should not send your spam with these people, and doing so will not be considered following the flow of traffic. However, they do say that it's probably safe to match speed with the mysterious gray slow mode text, as whatever entities or organization is responsible appear to be stopping you otherwise.
And now, the wind down.
Welcome back, viewers.
The sun didn't get praised at the correct time today, Russ and his team of game developers report. They are quite certain about it. They checked multiple clocks, and the sun definitely got praised ten minutes later than it was supposed to. I asked them if they had any explanations, but they did not offer anything concrete. Mostly they sat in a circle around a computer screen, staring at it, and button mashing. Still, we must be grateful to have the sun at all. It's easy to forget in this shady, poorly light internet world, but things would actually be slightly harder for us without the sun. The next time the sun rises, whatever time that turns out to be, take a moment to praise it for all the warmth, and light, and even, yes, extreme heat that our internet community is gifted with.
The YouTube Council would like to remind you about the copyright regulations, and the Hierarchy of Fan Girls. The reminder is that you should not know anything about this. The structure of copyrights and the fangirlic organizational chart are privileged information known only to the YouTube council members on a made up basis. Please, do not speak to or acknowledge any fan girls that you might come across while shopping at the Best Buy's or at the Internet Flower Twitch TV and Arcade Fun Complex. They only tell lies, and do not exist. Report all fan girl sightings to the YouTube council for treatment.
And now for a brief public service announcement. Video games. Can they kill your children? Yes.
Along those lines, to get personal for a moment, I think the best way to die would be by a plot twist. Going feet first and whole into an unexpected finish would give your life perfect closure.
Speaking of the Internet Flower Twitch TV and Arcade Fun Complex, its owner, Scott Jund, reports that he has found the entrance to a vast underground YouTube cult in the pun retrieval area of lane four. He said he has not yet ventured into it, merely peered down at its strange jokes and overused sayings. He also reports voices in the depths of the tags. Apparently, the entrance was discovered when a Co-op video accidentally rolled into it, clattering down to the YouTube cult below with shouting that echoed for miles across the impossibly huge cavern—so, you know, whatever population that YouTube cult following has, they know about us now, and we might be hearing from them very soon.
Russ, perfect and beautiful, came into our stream during the break earlier, but declined to stay for an extra game. He had some sort of chat box on his screen covered with soup icons. Said he was testing the slow mode. I don't know what he meant to achieve, but that chat sure whined and spammed a lot. When he got close to the microphone it sounded like, well, like a bunch of fan girls had just woken up, really went crazy. Russ looked nervous. I've never seen that kind of look on someone with that strong of a jaw. He left in a hurry. Told us to evacuate the live stream. But then, who would be here to talk sweetly to all of you out there? Settling in to be another smooth stream and pretty good game here on Late Night. I hope all of you out there had someone to stay up through it with, or, at least, good memories of when you did.
Good night, viewers. Good night.
Proverb: Go to the left. Keep going. There's nothing coming from the right.