A/N: Part of my Nervosa Disorder Series. Obscurity in characters was done purposely - only for Prologue. Enjoy.
Prologue
It's been one month and twelve days since my last real meal.
I only know this because I have been tracking my calorie intake ever since.
And as the weeks go by, the portions I consume get smaller and smaller.
Today, for breakfast, I had a piece of toast with fat-free butter (105 calories), a few baby carrots (10 calories), a small cup of mixed nuts (90 calories), and half a cup of orange juice (60 calories).
I skipped lunch all together, because I still felt bloated from breakfast.
Then for dinner, I had a few saltine crackers (26 calories), a bowl of soup (120 calories), and a red apple (80 calories).
The only thing is I was still hungry.
I should have known better than to go all those hours in-between not eating.
If I would have had an orange earlier with my usual side of green veggies, then I wouldn't be hungry right now.
So, here I am, at 6:49P.M., staring at the box in front of me.
I hesitate, thinking of other ways to silence the dull roar in my stomach.
But nothing comes to mind.
I poke the box, pensively.
One more cracker, I guess.
~O~
"How have you been? I barely got to see you all summer."
"I've been okay," I tell him.
He pushes his paper-white hair out of his eyes. "How have you been dealing with…?"
"I'm good…just coping…"
"Yeah." He sits back in his seat and scans me up and down. "You look like you lost some weight."
"Haven't had much of an appetite lately." My eyes home in on the tree outside the classroom window.
It's waving to me.
I almost want to wave back.
"That's to be expected," I hear him say. "Well, if you need anything, you better let me know. Bottling it up won't do you any good."
Did you know that every time you have to fake a smile, it subconsciously makes you even more depressed?
"I know," I say, smiling at him anyways.
~O~
My fingers play with the ring of keys in my hand, as I stand outside my house.
To tell the truth, I don't want to go in.
In fact, moving out of this town sounds nice.
I push the key into the upper lock and open the door.
Yeah…it sounds really nice.
There's no sound when I walk inside.
Just silence.
No T.V. left on.
No radio playing.
No vacuuming coming from upstairs.
No dishes clinging together in the sink.
Nothing.
Just dead silence.
He's not here, I remind myself.
Walking into the living room, I slowly lower myself onto the couch.
Then, I pull the blanket from the floor onto me.
I curl up and fold in on myself, staring at the black screen of the T.V.
First day of classes.
Over.
What a relief.