Hey everybody!

This will be my first NCIS fanfiction. I have some ideas that would not leave me alone, so I will give it try. Reviews would be very welcome, thank you!
My native language is Dutch, English is only my third language, so there will be mistakes (probably a lot :s). Feel free to let me know!

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or the characters!

Chapter 1:

After handing in their badges and guns, Mcgee, Ziva and Tony left the building going to their respective homes. All three of them didn't know what would come next, they just lost their jobs… But hé that's what you do to protect your family, right?! The trio didn't even had the time to tell the news to Jimmy, Ducky and Abby. Abby would most likely freak out and be really upset for quite some time. Mcgee would visit his friend after she had finished work and be there for whatever she needed.

Tony arrived home twenty minutes later. He knew, rationally, that they did the right thing but it was still very hard to comprehend. So much has happened the last couple of days but he never thought it would end like this. He would do anything to protect his family no matter what, especially Gibbs. After working so long with the man Tony considered Gibbs more a father than DiNozzo Senior would ever be. His dad was not a bad person, not at all. In fact Tony loves his father, but it is a complex situation. The past still hurts a lot…

After taking a beer Tony flopped down on his sofa. He wished he could go back in time and make everything right but knew that was impossible. But everything would be better than trying to deal with the current situation. He had no job, Gibbs was gone for an indefinite period of time, Mcgee looked so uncertain and Ziva...
He didn't know where to start with her. He tried to understand her situation and how she must feel after losing her father, taking down Bodnar, the whole Parson situation and now Gibbs being gone as well. But damn he was angry with her right now! After everything they been through he thought she trusted him, but she saw him as nothing more than her partner, a friend. He knows his anger toward her is not justified because after all they were nothing more than friends, but he had hoped that she would understand that he felt so much more toward her. He knows that he loved her, correction still loves her, but right now she had hurt him badly. He had told her that she was not alone "Ath lo leh-vahd" at the airport but she still had the guts to tell him she felt alone in Israel and that's why she had slept with Adam. He hated that guy! But she had also friendzoned him after everything that happened in Berlin, before the car crash, … Tony knew a beer wouldn't do the trick to try and forget everything, he needed something much stronger to ease the pain.

Meanwhile Ziva had gone straight to the gym after leaving NCIS, she knew she needed to get out all these emotions she felt inside. The past months had been so emotional and difficult and now she had lost her job as well. And on top of everything else, Gibbs, to closest thing she has to a father, was gone. Ziva knew she had made a lot of mistakes these past couple of months, in particular regarding Tony. She had hurt him by not trusting him, going after Bodnar alone, sleeping with Adam… But Tony didn't know how much she relied on him, he was her rock but she was too afraid to show him her true feelings. It was so much easier to keep him at a distant, even if it hurts the both of them. Back in the woods Ziva wanted nothing more than to tell him how much she loves him. Yes Ziva David was in love with Tony DiNozzo, the class clown. It had taken her a lot of time to realise it, but after Tony rescued her in Somalia she knew she felt more for him than just friendship. But she never found the strength to tell him, what if he didn't felt the same way?
After a two hour workout Ziva still didn't feel any better but decided to go home, take a very long shower and read a bit. At 11.30pm Ziva went to bed but only after an hour of sleep the nightmares returned…

…

No one will be looking for you, you bitch! You mean nothing to them, just tell me what you know about NCIS and I will end your suffer!

…

Ziva woke up sweating and breathing hard, tears streaming down her cheeks. It took her a while before she knew that she was safe in her apartment and not lying in her cell in Somalia. After her father died the nightmares became much worse. From time to time she would still experience them but now she had one or two of them almost every night. To only thought to keep her from going insane was Tony.0 When she thought about him she would calm down and eventually would fall back at sleep from time to time. But this time was different, after everything that happened today the nightmares wouldn't go away. She decided to take matters in hand, put on some clothes and shoes and left her apartment making her way toward Tony's home.

After his second shot of vodka Tony started to feel the effects of the alcohol, finally. Then all of a sudden he heard a knock on his door. Who would be standing on his porch at 2am? It didn't make any sense. After finding his keys Tony went to open his door in a haze, he was shocked when he found Ziva standing before him. She looked pale and tears were running down her cheeks. But due to the alcohol Tony had already consumed all the anger toward her came back to the surface.

"What are you doing here!?" Tony practically shouted.

"Euh... I couldn't sleep." Ziva stuttered, taken back by Tony loud words.

"So now I am good enough? Adam isn't around I guess?!"

"Adam was a mistake. It did not mean anything, you know that!" A small sob escaped her throat.

"Just go away! You mean nothing to me!" With that being said Tony shut his door and took his glass of Vodka, not realizing what he just said and did.

Ziva too shocked to move remained standing before Tony's door and started crying silently. Saleem had said the exact same words to her…

Will be continued!

Greetz!