Chapter 1! Im sooooooooo excited! Yayz meee!
One day Harri woke up and said "Ohhhhhhhmygawsh im at Hawgwartz right?" And I said right because I am Herminee and I'm nice and stuff. Ron told me to shut up. Herrminone said "2 bad 4 u." Wait no, she texted him. With her iphone! Bcuz ihpones are hawt here in London. Or England. Or wherever we are. Harry opened his suitcase and took out a size 16 and a half pink sparkly dress and put it on. "Arry!" I exclaimed, "I didn't know you were like that!" He said he was so, I said "oh." Ron woke up and put on a speedo and went to the Hogwarts swimming pool. I passed the fat lady and she was wearing a cherry red bikini. That reminded me, I wasn't dressed yet!
I came out and I was wearing a black t-shirt that had these super cute pink bunnies on it! Or were they rabbits? Then I put on these short-shorts. Hermionee picked some pink hiking boots out of her Hogwarts closet. They were covered in these blue, no wait, yellow million carrot diamonds. Then I put on some of this glitter eye shadow stuff that I had no clue how to pronounce the name of. Something like ? Well who knows?
I left to go into the forbidden forest, the hawtest make-out point ever. I found Neville there snogging Luna. What does snogging mean? I thought it meant kissing bcuz every1 else here called it that. Hermene thought and though. Then Cedric came and kissed me. Or snogged me. Cedric obviously came back to life. Duh! Any ways, he was wearing this bandana that went good with his denim skirt. Or was it his robe? They all look the same, yaw know?
I went to the great hall to eat lunch. There were pizza rolls and pizza pie and pizza bread and pizza bagels and pizza ice cream and pizza punch and pizza pop and pizza cake and pizza chips. But there wuz no pizza. 2 bad, 'ey? After the delicious meal, I went to the walk-in Hollister store next to the dungeons. It smelled awesum possum. I bought this bra that was covered in clone. Yummy!
Next Hermione went to Arepostale in Dumbledore's office and bought these cute leggings and a halter-top. She ate some more pizza ice cream and puked it up in the drinking fountain.