I never anticipated that the cessation of my soul's existence would be so…bright.
Then again, I hadn't anticipated having any form of consciousness to comment upon the stark, sterile brightness of nonexistence. If I had anticipated anything out of the endless void, it would have been darkness – dense, suffocating darkness pressing in and forcing itself into every orifice it could. It probably would have been excruciatingly painful if I had still been able to feel anything. When the black mist began to sweep my body away like dust as my soul was sucked away, I knew that the last sight I would ever see would be a desperate hand reaching out to one that no longer existed. I had closed my eyes, expecting never to be aware of the crushing darkness I was sure would come.
Instead, my soul (was it even my soul? Was it just some freak collection of scattered thoughts and memories held together by the merest threads of coincidence?) was adrift in nothingness, and what used to be my consciousness realized something that had never occurred to it before.
Darkness is physical.
Darkness is close to you. It curls around you like a living animal, hunting for any weakness to exploit. It wraps you up in a warm embrace, gently letting you fade away.
There was no darkness here, in this place that didn't exist. It was harsh and cruel, as unfeeling as the edge of a blade. It would be blinding if there were any eyes to perceive it. Not even a faint outline of anything leant the slightest color.
I could feel myself getting pulled towards the darkness, like water slipping down a drain. There was no up or down, front or back. No reason not to get swept away…except for that tiny tugging where my heart used to exist.
"Your anchor has been cast."
Was that…a voice?
As if snagged in a net, I could feel innumerable tiny strands wrapped around the fragmented rags of my soul, holding them together and keeping me from getting caught up in the currents of nothingness that swirled around me.
"Your ties have bound you to this world."
So tired. All I wanted was to close my eyes, but the tugging only grew stronger. It bit into where my heart should have been, like invisible threads straining not to be pulled loose. Then, slowly, I could feel them pulling me in.
"Your sacrifice was not in vain."
The brightness was unbearable, the tightness extended all around me, as if the fragmented patches of my soul were protesting the idea of being stitched back together – was that what was happening? My soul wasn't supposed to exist anymore, let alone be bound in a physical body again. Could it really be…?
I screwed up my face as the brightness suddenly increased, baking me with warmth. The currents of void whipped past my ears, creating a hollow shriek that drowned out everything else. Underneath it all, a rhythmic beat started to pound. I felt close and tight, as though I had been stuffed in a small box, and each strike of the beat pulsed through me like a shock. The void seemed to solidify on my newly existing back, and – piece by aching piece – I was dragged through the nothingness.
Eventually, the brightness began to fade – or had I just gotten accustomed to it? My ears were no longer howling, but there was something else. It almost sounded like…another voice. But this one didn't ring in my headspace the way the other one did. This one was coming from…somewhere else.
"…have to do something…"
"What do you propose we do?"
Another voice? This one was different still – deeper and more authoritative, even when questioning. Finally, I was able to force my eyes open.
Color!
I had almost forgotten what color was. As blurry as it was, it was there! The blue of the sky, the yellow of a dress, the silver of armor…
Armor?
As my vision swam into focus, a blue-gloved hand reached out to me. "There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know. Give me your hand."
Almost without thinking, I reached up and took the hand. The back of my own showed no trace of the mark it had borne. Was this all some kind of dream?
The hand hauled me to my feet, pulling me up to a very familiar face. With a gentle smile, the face spoke once more. "Welcome back. It's over now."
I stumbled forward, relief flooding through me as I was caught. The weakness in my knees, the familiar scents in my nose, and arms now supporting me…this was all too vivid, too perfect to be a dream. It had to be real. Against all odds…it had really worked. It was finally over. I was back home.
