A/N: The double break signifies a change in perspective on the same events. There are disturbingly few Derek/Emily stories, so I figured I'd contribute to the cause. This is my second-ish attempt, so please let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Criminal Minds, but oh how I wish I did...
She knew it was wrong. She knew that every time she gave in, every time she knocked on his door, she did damage to their friendship. It was surprisingly easy to rationalize though, and continued to grow easier still. At this point, even if they stopped completely, there would be no salvaging their relationship. Whatever professional rapport they had was long since abandoned.
It had begun easily enough, a few drinks on a night out with the team. They had just slipped away from the group. Neither of them had anticipated the initial evening together, nor the subsequent evenings spent in each other's company. They both knew what they were doing, there was no doubt about it. They were in a stressful, high-paced job. A career that didn't typically lend to much of a social life. There weren't any rules at the Bureau that specifically said that you couldn't screw your partner, and that's what they were doing. It wasn't emotional in the least.
Emily couldn't for the life of her figure out why, but their little arrangement was completely on her terms. This only served to make her feel all the more worse about walking up the path to his house at one o'clock in the morning. Was she using him, or was he using her? Derek Morgan could certainly have his pick of women, so why make himself available for the intermittent booty calls from Emily? Why did she go to him? It wasn't like she had any trouble in the attraction department. Plenty of men drooled over her on a regular basis.
Morgan had a reputation around the office, maybe that's why she had initially been drawn to the idea of being with him that night so long ago. Then a rather unsavory thought dawned on her, did she have that reputation as well? She didn't have time to draw a conclusion because he pulled the door inward. He was looming in the threshold, and her many thoughts dissipated. He greeted her the same way that he always did when she called on him late at night. He reached out and cupped her jaw in his hand. His thumb traced the bone momentarily before pulling her toward him for a suffocating kiss. It was always the same, but it was always good.
There was something to be said about waking up just as the light from the sun touched down in a room. It produced a unique glow, one that was unrivaled. Emily had always found that for her, for this brief moment in time, there was an excruciating amount of clarity. She dragged her eyes from the window until they eventually landed on the soft brown skin of her partner. That had shocked her at first. He was a muscular man, but she had always melded into him. In the past she'd found that most hard-bodies were just that, hard. And yet she'd never been more comfortable than when she was resting against Derek's chest.
Emily had been a lot of things in her life, but she had never been the type of woman to sleep around. She'd learned that lesson painfully, and early on. That's what made her periodic visits to Derek even more of an enigma. Still, she couldn't understand why he kept letting her come back.
She looked at the clock on his bedside table. They'd have to be at work in a few short hours. Slowly, she began her all too normal morning routine. She quietly slipped out from under the covers, and then gathered her clothing before stalking to the en suite bathroom.
She already knew how it would play out. She'd noiselessly exit his bedroom, and then descend the stairs. She'd go home to an empty apartment. Then she'd prepare herself for a day at work. No matter what time she left, she'd consistently arrive just before her shift officially started. She'd enter the bullpen in a fluster, and then sit down to a desk that was occupied by a warm cup of coffee. It was always the same.
No matter how many times he got the text message, Derek would always breathe a sigh of relief. He knew it wasn't healthy. He couldn't quite figure out how he had ended up stranded in this position though.
The first night had been on a whim. They'd been at a bar with the team, and they'd been the only one's without dates. Even Reid had been chatting up a new friend. It started as a joke. The others had taken to the dance floor, and Penelope had insisted that the two of them should dance together before joining the others herself. He had seen the demand for what it really was. Penelope knew that if everyone else had gone to dance, Emily would have just quietly retreated from the evening.
He'd pulled his reluctant partner along, but had been surprised when she actually started to enjoy herself. Sure, they'd all have fun when they would go out together, but he had never seen her just let loose. Their usual flirtatious banter had quickly become much more realistic than it had previously been. After a few breathlessly seductive murmurs, Derek and Emily had simply walked out through the front door.
His mind came back to the present. Long ago, he'd acquired the ability to know exactly how long it took her to get to his place. He pulled the door firmly open to find her standing on his porch, her bottom lip falling victim to her teeth. She was always so deep in thought. Always worried about the ramifications. Every time she showed up, he could always see the guilt etched on her face.
He had been drawn to her since they met. There was something about her that made him feel like she needed protecting. He was aware that it was an odd sensation. By all rights, the woman could probably kick his ass. But it was in the back of his mind nevertheless. Seeing her so utterly helpless, he just wanted to reach out to her. And he always did.
It was painful, but he knew that it had to be on her terms. It killed him to feel her stir in the mornings, to know that she would walk away from him without saying a word. He had faith though. He'd never been closer to another person, and he knew that she would eventually figure it out. She'd ultimately come to understand why she felt so guilty, standing at his doorstep in the middle of the night.
He'd let her go, but he'd make sure that she knew he wasn't going anywhere. There'd be a small token, something to let her know that he cared for her. He was a patient man, and he knew that she was a smart woman. It wouldn't take too much longer for her brain to catch up with her heart.
A/N: I don't know why these always turn out so dark when I attempt them...