LaPush High School isn't the bane of my existence as many believe. Paul Quartez is. I've never hated myself as much as I do when he talks to me, when he calls me ugly or fat or that I look like a dude. He even calls me Terry even though my name is Mary Teresa Conan. I was named after my grandma of my biological dads side because she died right before I was born. I do my best to avoid him like the fucking plague but it doesn't work. We have 2 classes together, Science and Art. To be a cliché ill start my teenage angst story in Science class because I roll that way.
"Hey Terry." Paul's voice is menacing which means he's already in a bad mood. He takes his seat behind me and I can see his large frame from the outer corner of my eyes. He's gotten so much bigger since a month ago, probably so he can beat up more freshman with less energy. He starts talking again in a douchebag version of a teasing voice. "Sorry I missed your birthday this weekend. You turned twelve, right? Because you have the tits of a twelve year old."
"I turned 16, Paul. But I don't blame you for not knowing seeing as you can't count that high." I sneer back. He hates it when I fight back but it's not like I give a shit what he likes or dislikes.
We're quiet for the rest of class and I doze off only to be awaken by the bell signaling a class change and the abrupt pain brought on by Paul slamming his books on my fingers. "You might want to be nicer, Terry. I'm not afraid to hit boys."
I feel empowered almost, knowing that I make him so angry.
He wasn't in Art and I assumed it was because he went off campus or some shit for lunch. A class without Paul was heaven of fucking Earth. After school I went home and talked with my moms about homework and dinner and all the parental stuff. They adopted me when I was two and are the best moms ever. I called my friend River who lives in California. We met at sleep away camp one year and have kept contact since. Our parents are friends which makes it slightly easier to see him every few years or so. He knows everything about me. Even about how Paul makes me feel like shit and how when I was younger id cut myself over the things he'd say. I love River, I'm just not in love with him and thankfully he feels the same.
Paul wasn't in school for the rest of the week, much to my liking. I started talking to Embry Call and his friends Jacob and Quill. They were really nice and super big too. Maybe I was just getting smaller. The week was uneventful and I was getting ready for River to come visit. I was excited and not just because I hadn't seen him in a year but because we had this friend's with benefits thing going on for awhile that we finally got to play out.
Monday sucked. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named returned and he looked angrier than ever. I had maybe overly enjoyed the days he was gone. I wore whatever I wanted because I didn't have to worry about him mocking me about it and I wore make up other than mascara for once. The day he got back I was wearing a tank top and a purple and black stripped hoodie with tight jeans and Doc Martins. My hair was wavy instead of its natural curl and I wore a light coat of liquid eyeliner. I looked kinda hot honestly. In the days he was gone I had regained some of my crushed confidence. I was gunna man the fuck up and stand up for myself.
The bell rang and everyone got to class except Paul, his friend Jared who was looking a bit worried at Paul's extra pissiness, and I. I was on the opposite side of the hall and started walking towards them.
"Hey Paul!" I shouted at him.
He didn't even have to look at me to retort and along with that crush my spirit. "What, Terry? Come to be a bitch like always? You're such a fucking waste of space and I don't have time to deal with your shit. So why don't you move out of the way you fat fuck."
Just like that all my courage went away. He slammed his locker and turned his head to meet my eyes. When he did he got this shocked look like I had a second head or some shit and then looked angrier than I had ever seen him before. He turned and punched his locker, which dented like tin foil under his fist. I ran straight past him out the door of the school. I ran all the way home because the look on his face was freaky, like murderous rage freaky and I didn't want to be around when his inner bomb exploded.