"Oh Lazlo?"
Lazlo's face slid from an expression of amiable joy to a poker face. It wasn't that he didn't like Patsy, he liked everybody, it was just that the way she acted confused him and scared him a bit. He understood the giggling, he giggled a lot too. He could even stand the eyelash fluttering.
"Hey Lazlo?"
But it was the voice that got to him the most she always talked to him just a little bit differently.
"Yes Patsy?" he replied.
"Do you like ice creeeaam?" she asked giggling drawing out words in a way that she thought was arousing.
"Yea…"
"Do you wanna go with me to that ice cream shop in prickly pines? I hear they make great rocky road!"
"Well.."
Then Raj attacked. He didn't so much attack as appear suddenly shouting. Patsy realized that he must have been there the whole time she just didn't notice. he wasn't Lazlo so she didn't really look at him.
"No, Lazlo does not want to eat ice cream!" he was saying pronouncing the word ice cream like it was something dreadful "Lazlo doesn't like to eat ice cream!"
"But I do…" Lazlo interrupted.
"Lazlo wants to hang out with us, his bestest friends!" Raj huffed.
"Friends" echoed Clam.
"And we have very important things to do we have no time for ice cream!"
"Oh ok" she sighed feeling disappointed, some part of her felt angry though. She wished she could hit him, but Lazlo was a nice guy and it wouldn't do for her to not be a nice person. She sighed again then left.
Raj let out a breath of relief wiping invisible sweat from his brow in a an exaggerated way "whew! That was close"
"Close" repeated Clam dutifully.
"What was close?" asked Lazlo. Usually it was just patsy that confused him but now his friends where acting crazy as well.
Raj gave Lazlo a look, Clam after a split second of careful study copied the look and aimed it at Lazlo even though he didn't know what Raj was on about.
Raj shook his head and went: "tsk tsk tsk"
"Tsik!" went Clam in a commendable effort to stay part of the conversation.
"It does not do for a bean scout to go eat ice cream with a girl scout!" Raj continued.
"Why what could happen?" asked Lazlo naively
Raj gave him another look, like how could you not know. "Marriage." He replied.
"What?!"
"Marriage! It happened to my cousin we never saw him again!"
Lazlo's hands came up to frame his face. His mouth turned into an O "gasp! Really?"
"Yes, he moved to Lahore" Raj added. "But that is beside the point! Lazlo I just saved you from a fate worse than death."
"I don't know…"
"And you are eternally grateful I know"
"I think she was just being friendly"
"Huh!"
"She doesn't even like me like that"
"Hah!"
"We're friends"
"Yes but we're BEST friends, Lazlo. You prefer us"
"I do?"
"Immensely so"
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
So pasty ate ice cream all by herself. Oh, her friends were there but they didn't count, not in the grand scheme of things, not in the eternal battle of love. She sighed again.
"I don't see what you like about him" Gretchen was saying, "Boys are gross"
She scooped up more ice cream than was humanly possible to balance on a spoon and gulped it down with calculated efficiency.
"Not to mention weird," added Nina while tracing crop circles into her sundae.
"Lazlo is never weird" patsy said with another sigh.
Her friends gave each other a side long glance Lazlo was one of the weirdest. Lazlo liked to dance around with a fruit basket on his head, Lazlo worshiped minor camp based deities, he talked to bears, and he once for a good three hours believed he was a robot.
Nina tried to change the subject. "Hey, did'ja hear? There's going to be a fair here this Friday!"
"Huh!" Gretchen snorted.
"Maybe I can go with laaaazzlo" patsy closed her eyes savoring the thought. Her and Lazlo walking hand in hand eating caramel apples he wins her a teddy (even though she's perfectly capable of winning one herself) and maybe afterwards there'll be fireworks…
…And Raj running screaming through the background.
She snapped out of her reverie "Raj!"
"Who?" asked Nina looked up from her comic book?
"Raj! Lazlo's prissy little friend!" patsy remembered her encounter with him from earlier "I was just asking Lazlo if he wanted to come with me to get ice cream and he practically chewed my head off. I swear he's trying to keep us from getting together."
"Why would he do that?"
"I don't know he's evil"
Anyone who'd get in the way of love had to be.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Raj, Clam and Lazlo played chess. Technically you couldn't play chess with three players but that limitation only applied to people who played by the rules.
'" I believe you are standing on my block"' said a black bishop, sounding amazingly like Raj while doing so.
'"Oh I'm sorry is this your block?"' said an ivory king. Lazlo moved him up and down to make him look like he's talking.
Just then a handful of pawns spilled across the checkered panorama.
"Peasant's revolting!" explained Clam.
"That not a very nice thing to say about them, Clam" giggled Lazlo.
They all laughed at their cheesy joke.
Currently Raj was glad that he had chased away Patsy. Had Lazlo gone off with Patsy and eloped, Raj tended to exaggerate events even in his own head, they wouldn't be here playing pretend chess.
All was well so long no crazy mongeeses (his English was good, but not that good) were dragging away his best friend.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Nina and Gretchen had placed bets on whether on not Lazlo would go to the carnival with patsy with the added stakes of Raj trying to stop her things would be interesting…
They were walking with patsy toward jellybean cabin. Patsy walked determinedly she was a girl on a mission.
She saw Lazlo playing around near the lake. She checked to see if Raj was there. He was. She gave a little groan and shuffled up to Lazlo. Raj eyed her warily.
"Hey Lazlo!" she giggled.
"Oh hey, Patsy!" he grinned.
He so likes me, she thought. all she had to do was tell him about it and he'll ask to take her himself.
She fidgeted with a strand of her pink hair "didja hear?..."
Raj wasn't just eyeing her he was ear-lobing and trunking her as well. That is to say every part of him stood to rapt attention waiting to hear what she was going to say.
Lazlo, on the other hand, was inching away from her slowly just in case they ended up tying the knot. "Hear what?"
"There's going to be a street fair in prickly pines this Friday"
Lazlo stopped inching away "wow! Really?!"
"Yea!"
"That is awesome!"
"I know!"
"…"
"Um … isn't there someone you want to take to the fair?"
"Well…" Lazlo thought about it.
"I would very much like to go!!" jutted in Raj his face a mask of fear.
"Oh yea duh!" Lazlo giggled "Raj! And Clam of course"
"Not them I meant…"
"I guess Sampson would wanna come too." Lazlo pondered this. in his head was an ever growing list of campers who would want to go the fair.
Raj noticed the annoyed look on patsy's face and egged Lazlo on. "Don't forget skip and chip!"
"…And Edward we can never forget Edward!" added Lazlo.
"Ping-pong and Dave!"
"Larry, luie, liniment…"
"Harold, milt!"
"..Sheldon, Fred…"
"Ted…"
"You know…" Lazlo interrupted "we could ask Slinkman to take us all in the bus, ALL us bean scouts!" Lazlo smiled ecstatically.
"Lazlo!" yelled patsy losing her cool. She saw Lazlo's shocked expression and calmed down "look I meant … don't you think there any squirrel scouts who might like to go?"
"Wellllllllll" Lazlo thought about it he didn't know many squirrel scouts "Nina likes space rides…"
"Oh forget it!" patsy huffed and walked away.
Raj grinned as he watched her go.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
That's it!
This is war!
Thought patsy. She tied her 'ninjutsu kung fu bok choy' red belt around her forehead and steeled her self she would go out with Lazlo over Raj's dead body!
A/N) Raj and Pasty, I'm not sure I write them right. oh well, hang on to your seats and bear with me…