Hallo~ My hand hurts from all the writing o.e This 'oneshot' was supposed to be cute and short but instead I wrote about 8 pages worth of shit. Don't really know if it's any good or not, though. It's based off the song by supercell "Sayonara Memories" and it's all I heard while writing this ^-^
Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, trust me, I wouldn't be writing right now ^^''. I do not own supercell, Nagi/Gazelle, Ryo or the song "Sayonara Memories". I only own my writing .
Warnings: Emotionally confused Hong Kong to the MAX.
BETAed by the lovely Kasai-Sama! She got the doc back to me so fast o.e
PS: It really makes a world of a difference if you read the song while hearing "Sayonara Memories" by supercell or the cover by GUMI. I really tried to capture the essence of this wonderful song.
Writing Styles:
Normal
Speaking " "
Flashbacks
Thoughts/ ' '
Emphasize
"Oh blooming cherry blossoms on this hill road
I have to say goodbye to you"
-"Sayonara Memories" by supercell
Hong's POV
It's been a long day. A very long day. My butt hurts from sitting, my eyes hurt from crying, and my heart...keeps skipping a beat. That has to be it, right? It's not like I'm a little girl suffering from heartbreak...no sir. Did you know there's actually a disease called 'Broken Heart Syndrome'? I wonder how you figure out if you have it...before your heart gives out, at least.
I looked around at the empty classroom and almost sighed. Three years were spent in this very room, seeing as we were fortunate enough to have the whole class stay together. Sometimes, it seemed like time had just stopped and we weren't getting any older. It seemed that the only thing that changed was the number on the door, our endings (-san, -chan, -sempai) and what Roderich and Vash were arguing about. The individuals that were in that room didn't change. But our seasons did and in the blink of an eye, it was February of 2011. Suddenly, we weren't focused on where to go for the weekend or the latest video on Nico Nico Douga, but on entrance exams, who was going abroad, who was getting married and the future. They really should tell you from the beginning to cherish these blessed days because they'll be the best years of your life.
You know, they always tell you about the future, since the 1st day of high school. To keep up with your grades, make good friends, participate in sports, don't get drunk or have sex but they never really teach you the most important thing: Don't fall in love.
Sadly, I didn't get the memo. And the saddest part is that it happened on the very first day.
3 years ago.
"Li Xiao Chun."
Of course, I didn't hear it. I didn't hear anything. The loud footsteps, the proud parents boasting, the loud bell tower. All I heard was Nagi's smooth voice in my ears as I stared out into the seemingly nowhere. But that's not true. I was looking at something. The cherry blossoms. The newly bloomed cherry blossoms, to be precise. It might seem strange but I swear, I could hear the soft sound they made as the wind claimed them as his own.
"-ong."
It really was a beautiful day, now that I think about it. The sky couldn't be anymore blue or vibrant. It fit the day nicely, seeing as today was my 1st day of high school.
"-ng!"
Oh, and those damn uniforms! They were so ridiculously expensive for no freaking reason. I wasn't prepared at all for the bill when I went to get fitted...I had just expected the standard black uniform but it seems that I was wrong. So I had to order a simpler version and now I'll stick out like a sore thumb...
"Hong!"
"What?"
I looked over at Matthew's angry face and was almost scared. Key word: almost.
"Hong, they've been calling you for ages! Go on so we can find our classrooms!" Right, our classrooms. Because Mattie was entering with me. The thought made me feel a little better but not too much. I didn't like this school. Not for its academics, because they're the best in the region but because of the people. Everyone was so rich and stuck up. A common trait of those that never had to work for anything in their pointless lives. They all had rich fathers and connections that got them here while a handful of students like myself had to study everyday for months to pass the entrance exams. Damn rich people...
I nodded slowly and went up to the front of the line. The lady was handing out our uniforms. 'Great, now everyone really will know...' I took a deep breath and went up to her. "Um, Li Xiao Chun?"
The woman just waved me away after pointing to the poorly wrapped uniform. Guess they don't care for appearances unless you spend over a grand. 'Whatever, I'll fix it myself. My brother Yao taught me to sew. I'll be fine...'
"Hong, did you get it? How come it's different from mine?" I looked back at him and I just couldn't get mad. He was too sweet...it almost hurt. I just smiled and picked up my bag.
"I have to run, Mattie. I need to put my name on the sign-up sheet for the violin rentals. Wait for me and we'll walk home together!" And I was off. One more second there and I would've started crying.
Finding the music room was a mission and a half. It was tucked away in the west wing but when you finally find it, you never forget where it is. There's a completely different atmosphere in these halls full of music sheets, chaos and the smell of rosin. But there was one serious problem. The sign up sheet was all full and the professor wasn't there. "Just my damn luck..."
"Do you need assistance, boy?"
That's when my life ended.
I looked back and spotted a boy about my age with the rich boy uniform on. Wonderful..."No, I'm fine, thank you."
The boy came closer and looked over my shoulder at the sheet. "'Violin Rentals: Sign up.' Oh wow, I didn't even know our school did that. How generous. And you. Do you need a violin?"
Persistent bastard, eh? "What's it to you?"
He just raised his eyebrow before taking hold of my hands. "It's nothing in particular...just these." He pointed to my hands with a look of...pity? "Your hands are so small and your fingers aren't long. You'll never be able to play the violin successfully. They're useless."
Oh yeah. This is defiantly where my life went downhill. It all happened in the blink of an eye.
I punched him. Right in the kisser.
"Don't you ever tell me I can't do something! I've played the violin for 10 years and it's all thanks to my so-called useless hands!"
Then, I ran as the loud bell rang to announce homeroom. And just my luck, or lack of, rather, I'm in the same classroom as the boy who was currently holding an ice bag to his mouth.
That day, classes went very well.
I looked across the rows of desks and stopped at mine. All the way in the back, next to the window. A lot of time was spent in the desk, or on it rather. When we were all just hanging out, I took the liberty to treat my desk like a chair. To me, it was the best seat ever. I could listen to my music or read over my next violin piece without the teacher even noticing because I had a larg- I mean big-boned Russian named Ivan seated in front of me. And in the spring, I had the best view of the blossoms. That was the best part. But speaking of violins, I guess I never finished that flashback, now did I?
"Hong, are you sure? I'll go and tell him no. Honestly, it's no problem at all."
Maybe it's not a problem for him but it is to me. Ever since we were kids, Matthew felt the need to ignore himself and only look after me. Selfish on my part, since I allowed it. But not today. Not anymore. He deserves happiness too. See, Mattie had gotten invited out to get ice cream with a guy in our class and I was not about to ruin that for him.
"Matthew, don't be silly. I'm 15 years old, I think I can walk myself home. So, please go. Look, he's already waiting for you." And he really was. Gilbert wasn't that hard to miss, seeing as he's as pale as my ass and had the devil's eyes. Bright ruby red. Creepy.
Mattie just stood there, biting his damn lip. Do I have to carry him over there? "Mattie, if you don't go right now, I'll rap to you!"
That did the trick. He took one look at me and ran off to meet the Prussian. Which is good... he needs to get more friends anyway. Having me around all the times can't be good for his image. And besides, it's not like I can't walk myself home...I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked out the school gates. I had just looked at the long hill I had to walk and I already felt like crying. The walk seems so long when you don't have someone to talk to.
"Here I go..."
"Wait!"
That voice was way too close for my comfort. 'Don't turn around. Just keep walking!' My brain kept screaming out commands at me but my feet wouldn't move an inch.
"Hey, you're the kid from before, right?"
….kid..?
I turned to face him but instead was meet with a hard, black case. 'What the hell?' I rubbed my injured cheek gently before looking curiously at the boy. I had just punched him this morning, so why is he smiling? At me!
"Oi, what's the big idea? That hurt, dammit!"
"For you. Open it, baby hands."
Is he looking for another punch in the face? Twice in the same day? I glared at him before taking hold of the black case. The shape looked so familiar...I laid it down on a bench and unlocked the silver locks. Thank god for the bench because had it been in my hands, I would've dropped it.
It was a violin.
A beautiful, brand-new violin, the color of liquid amber. Complete with two bows and it's case. 'I don't think I've ever held something so beautiful...that I can't accept.'
"I cannot accept this. I don't know where you got it, how much it costs, if its stolen!"...right? I have to be careful with these people...
"S-Stolen? What are you talking about? I haven't stolen anything in my life! Look at the case, it has the school's symbol. During out lunch break, I ran into the music director and remembered about you, thanks to the throbbing in my lip left there by someone I know..." He just gave me a knowing look before smiling. Which got me thinking...he doesn't even know my name.
"Li Xiao Chun."
"What?"
"My name is Li Xiao Chun but everyone just calls me Hong." Why did I just do that...? I didn't want to get involved with this kid at all so why'd I tell him my name...? I could feel him staring down at me and it took all my might not to just make a run for it. And then he took my hand. And...kissed it.
"A pleasure to meet you, Xiao. My name is Im Yong Soo. And if you'd give me the utter pleasure, I'd like to walk you home today."
To this very day, I don't understand why I did what I did. Or much of what I did after I met him, actually.
I nodded. And he burst into a shit-eating grin that remembered me way too much of Gilbert...
"B-But don't get to thinking that this makes us friends!"
That's how it all began. Since then, there hasn't been a day that he didn't walk me home, no matter what he was doing. Whether it was pouring rain or below freezing. I still remember the silly excitement on his face when I finally let him come over to my house. Though, it wasn't really fair on my part...that bastard tricked me, I swear!
'I'm not scared, I'm not scared, I'm not scared, I'm not scared...I'm scared, dammit! Why in the be-Jesus did I agree to clean the classroom! I thought that maybe because I was doing it with Mattie, it wouldn't be that bad...but, he left early since he was feeling sick. Now, I have to walk home alone. Not that I minded that too much. It's just...I'm scared of the dark. There, I said it! Don't judge me, dammit!'
….Don't tell anyone either. I'll find you, I swear it! No one knows. Not even Mr. Teddy and he knows everything.
So, I guess I really shouldn't blame anyone but myself...Sighing softly, I pushed the final row of desk into place and voila! The classroom was basically gleaming now. I couldn't help but smile at what I've done. Cleaning helps me relax tremendously, which is probably a good thing seeing as I'm practically shitting my pants right now. I peeked out the window and I think I cried a little inside. The sun was just barely visible from behind all the tall buildings. Even if I left now, it'd get dark halfway in. 'S-Shit...why do I do these things to myself...?'
"Hong?"
That voice has never sounded more heavenly.
I turned around slowly and had to hide my smile by biting my lip. There he was, clad in only his baseball uniform, which fitted him very nicely, I must say.
….
Did I really just say that?
W-Whatever! I gave a weak wave, picked up my bag, and ran to the door. "Hey, Yong."
"Hiya, da ze! What are you doing here so late, da ze?" That's another thing about Yong. He had this cute- I mean interesting tick that causes him to say 'da ze'. I've only recently discovered this trait because he was trying to hide it from me until we were truly...friends.
That word scares me.
"I was cleaning the classroom but I'm going to head home now. I'll see you tomorrow, I guess." If I make it to my house, that is.
"What, really? Me too! I just finished practice. Let me walk you home, Xiao." Damn his happy face! How am I supposed to say no to that? So, I didn't.
I nodded slowly and walked after him, all the way down that lonely hill road. Somewhere in the time from the school to the street where my house was, I found myself practically holding Yong's arm. I-It was the darkness, I swear! I was just scared...not that I'd ever tell him though.
"Hong, are you scared?"
'Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit damn! H-How'd he figure it out?' He must've seen my worried face because he smiled and brought me closer. W-Wait! Since when was this ok...?
"It's ok, Xiao. You can trust me with your secret. I won't tell anyone, I swear."
And then it felt like someone stabbed my brain with tiny needles. Hot, prickling needles.
Lies. Liar. All lies.
That's what they all say before they go blabbering about me. It always happens...'Oh Hong, please trust me. I won't tell!' and then the next week, I'm the talk of the school and not in a good way. Always.
"I don't believe you."
"W-What? But why? You can trust me, Hong."
Lies.
"Look, I'm not being mean. I just learned a long time ago to not trust people. They only end up disappointing you."
I don't know what hurt more. The fact that all those words, I truly believed in or Yong's hurt face. I don't think I've ever since someone so sad...
Besides me, at least.
I took to looking down so I wouldn't have to see that pitiful face again but every time I closed my eyes, I saw it. So, I ran.
It's been a week since Yong and I last spoke. We still interacted...but it wasn't the same. He'd walk me home like usual, but...everything seemed so forced and strained. I feared if I spoke, the delicate veil of glass held over us would break into pieces. And we'd never speak again.
"What do I have to do to make you trust me, Xiao?"
D-Did I just hear that right? After what I said, he's still trying to be my...friend? Why doesn't he hate me, call me a spoiled brat, beat me up, anything? "I'm sorry, what?"
"I said, what do I have to do to earn your trust?"
Nobody's ever asked me that...No one has ever bothered to be-friend me, let alone try to earn my trust. My only friend is Matthew and that's because we met before I became the person I am now. Jaded. Cynical. Un-trusting.
"Y-You can start by keeping my fear a secret. They don't like me at school already and I don't need to give them more fuel to the fire."
And then something interesting happened.
It started to rain.
The cold drops landed on my cheeks in quick bundles before rolling down my face and soaking into my uniform. 'Great...' I closed my eyes and sighed. But when I opened them again, the rain was gone. Or so I thought.
Something was shielding me. I looked up and saw Yong's baseball jacket spread out over my head like a make-shift umbrella. All while he was getting wet.
"Y-Yong! It's ok, please don't get wet because of me! My house is right there." Case in point, we ran over to the last house on the block and I unlocked the heavy door. It could've just ended there. But I couldn't be so cruel as to leave him in the rain. Not when I was standing in a warm house and he was standing in the rain, just smiling at me.
"Yong, stop being an idiot and get in here!"
For his health, you know? Or was there was a dark, secret part of me that just wanted him there with me?
That was still in my first year of high school. Ever since then, Yong has been practically living at my house, which was fine, of course, since I lived alone. There wasn't a day when we didn't have fun together. We'd study sometimes and he'd hear my practice my violin in the late afternoons. And those afternoons turned into nights and then he started sleeping over whenever he would. Which was a lot. But, I didn't mind. Not one bit.
"Hong, come look!"
There's the voice I haven't heard all day. Since we had to sit in alphabetical order of last names, I obviously wasn't able to sit next to him. Mind you, I even tired sneaking over to his seat but Ryo-sensei caught me. He's quite scary...Regardless, I looked over to see Yong standing by one of the windows and grinning like an idiot. Not that that's anything new, though.
"What's with you? Your creepy smile is coming out again." It's actually not creepy at all but I'm not about to tell him that.
"E-Eh? You're so mean, Hong! I was just looking outside and I saw this beauty! How lucky are we?"
The beauty he was referring to was a beautiful Sakura (Cherry Blossom) tree planted right in the middle of the courtyard. And we've been lucky enough to see her bloom early every year. I dared a glance at Yong's happy face and slowly, I realized something. Or more like, finally accepted something.
'It seems I've come to like this person.'
'But why? I don't get it at all!'
We're just friends...right?
"Hong?"
Right. Just friends. I shouldn't expect more anyway. Who knows if we'll even be involved in each other's lives after today. We both applied to different universities and even if we did get in the same one, we'd have different classes due to our majors.
It's all pointless.
"Hong?"
I blinked my eyes and faked a quick smile. "Yes?"
"Are you ready to go home?"
"H-Home? Yes! Let's walk home the short (long) way, ok?"
"No problem, da ze!"
Even if this is the end, I might as well make it last.
"Hey Hong, didn't we just pass our shortcut?"
Why, yes we did. "Eh? Ooops! I guess we'll have to go the long way. Is that a bad thing?" Insert moe-eyes for added cuteness...actually, on second thought, don't do that. I have enough fan girls...
"Of course not, da ze! It means I get to spend more time with you, right?"
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Please don't say things like that! I've already made it clear to my stupid heart that after today, you'll be gone.
Forever.
"H-Hehe, you shouldn't say things like that, Yong. You'll give people the wrong idea." I never thought it would so hard to say those words.
"So? I don't really care what anyone else thinks but you. You've the most important person to me, da ze!"
.Life. Please kill me now because I don't know how much more of this I can take, dammit!
Unless...
I confess now.
Because no matter what happens, nothing will come out of it, right?
"Im Yong Soo, I have something to say. Please give me your full attention because I'm not ever going to repeat myself. And if you ever tell anyone, not only will I kill you but they won't believe. So, here goes."
We'll say goodbye after this.
"I haven't really practiced this so I'm sorry that I can't say it any better...but...how do I say this? I don't think...I can honestly stay just friends with you. Because since the 1st day you walked me home, I've always...liked you."
His shocked face, my blushing cheeks and the bright sunset brought such a smile on my face. Even if he doesn't return my feelings, it'll be ok. The blooming cherry blossoms were proof of something, though.
My feelings didn't go unheard.
I've finally said it!
So...? Like? Love? Go curl up in a corner and DIE?
Did you tear up? (- Secret mission in life: To make you all cry)
And before you say anything, the Hong Kong in my stories may not be the way you picture him but it's my interpretation of him. I see a boy who spends way too much time in his head, cussing and all, thus he comes off as cold. But he's a little joker, of course. I apologize if this ruins your image of him but it's how I see him.
I don't really know if I'll continue this or leave it as is. Please give me your opinion in the Reviews section!
Pretty please review? They make me bubble inside...probably not a good thing though ^^''
Adios!
-Mia
