Author's Note: I have no excuse for this one; none at all. That being said, I do not own Harry Potter, and never will. More of a ficlet than even a oneshot. Either way, hope everyone enjoys. ~ RK
Story Time with Lucius
"Father, will you read me a bedtime story?" asked Lucius Malfoy's young and only son. Little Draco was only four years old, and suffered from having good dreams, and so looked incredibly healthy for the son of a Death Eater, without him really knowing it. Draco enjoyed his bedtime stories just before he fell asleep. Usually his mother would be the one reading him a bedtime story, but tonight she was trying to visit her dementedly insane sister in the…well, his mother had said the hospital, but the way she said it made him wonder a little.
Since only parents were supposed to tell bedtime stories, it was up to Draco's father.
"I…" Lucius looked and saw the pleading look in his little boy's eyes, as he clutched his stuffed dragon close to his chest. "Sure, Draco. I will tell you a bedtime story."
Draco smiled, then immediately turned and ran back towards his room.
Lucius hauled himself tiredly out of his humungous armchair and headed after Draco. When he arrived he'd already found his son snuggled back under his covers, his little dragon clutched safely in his arms, eagerly anticipating a story from his father. The very first one that he'd ever told him. Lucius knew this was important.
He just had no idea how to do this.
"So, Draco," he said as he lowered himself to sit on the corner of the bed. "Is there something in particular you would like to hear about?"
Draco nodded enthusiastically. "One about a bunny!"
Lucius didn't know any stories about a bunny.
"Does it have to be a bunny?"
"Yes!" shouted Draco, startling Lucius.
Okay, he thought. Time to make something up. Here goes.
"Alright." His mind went quickly, and he found himself trying desperately to come up with something! He knew that stories to children typically began the same. "Once upon a time…" Once upon a time what! Then, he remembered that sometimes the best stories came from one's own experiences. Might as well give it a shot, he thought as he stared at Draco's expectant gaze. "Once upon a time there was a Dark Lord who ruled the entire Wizarding World."
"Where's the bunny?"
Lucius didn't know the first sentence had to be about the bunny. "He's coming, Draco." Draco frowned, so Lucius scrambled to make up anything to get to the bunny. "And he had many servants. Among his favorite was a little fuzzy black—"
"Green!"
"Green bunny!" This was more frustrating than he'd ever imagined. He decreed in his mind that after tonight, Narcissa would forever be in charge of story time. This was exhausting. He was only three sentences into this! How did she do this every night? Were they different stories every night? This is ridiculous.
"So! The green bunny was the Dark Lord's favorite because he loved the color green. And because this bunny was his favorite, the Dark Lord always sent him on the most important of missions."
"Really?"
Lucius was pleased that Draco had stopped arguing about the story. "Yes. So, one day the Dark Lord sent our little bunny out on a very important job. He was supposed to go and steal…" Steal what? Lucius said the first thing that sprung into his mind. "Acorns? Yes, acorns from the neighboring squirrels."
Oh no. Draco looked confused. Now he had to come up with an explanation.
"You see, Draco, when the Dark Lord allowed the two squirrels to live in the big tree – which he owned, by the way – he gave them very strict instructions that they were not supposed to have any children."
"Why?"
What kind of question was that?
"Well…Because when the lower creatures have a higher population than the rulers, there is a serious chance they could rebel. And that is a big problem."
"Higher poplation?"
"Population, Draco. It's population." Lucius sighed. "It means when there are more squirrels than there are bunnies and servants in the Dark Lord's home."
"Oh."
"Right, so if there's more, they could try to take over the kingdom from the Dark Lord, and is that a good thing?"
"No?" Draco was still confused.
Lucius smiled wickedly at his son. "That's right, Draco. It's not a good thing!" Draco smiled again pleased at himself for giving the correct response. Okay, so far so good. "So, our little green bunny went off to do his Lord's bidding, because he was a loyal and faithful servant and did everything that his Lord asked. The squirrels did not see him coming and they were incredibly surprised."
"Why didn't they see him coming?"
"Because!" Lucius shouted. As Draco flinched and recoiled, Lucius realized that he'd shouted the word. Just as he was getting into the groove of this story time thing, too! "Because," he tried in a softer tone. "They were…" Think fast! "Sleeping."
Draco nodded understandingly.
"And can you see anything coming when you're sleeping, Draco?"
"No!"
"That's right! So the squirrels didn't see him coming, and they were very surprised to wake up and find that all of their stash of acorns had gone missing!" He was pleased to see that Draco was focusing very much on the story now. "But the green bunny was not as speedy as he should have been and before he knew it, the entire squirrel group ambushed him—"
"Ambu—"
"Surprised him and the bunny got himself injured in the fight. Now, he'd almost been back to the Dark Lord's home, and he was trying to make it. The Dark Lord saw all of this happen, and noticed that his favorite servant was injured, so the Dark Lord put on a dark cloak and went out into the dark night to find the bunny."
"Was he okay?"
Lucius was so into it by now that he didn't even pay attention to the question. "The bunny saw this cloaked man coming and started to limp towards him—"
"And why did he hop toward him, Lucius?"
He whirled around to find Narcissa leaning on the doorjamb, an indulgent smile on her face. He straightened. "Because, he was…hoping that this man was one of those kindly old men who helps those who are lost or injured in the forest, and that he would help him to safety." His wife laughed and then left the doorway, pleased that he seemed to be telling a good story to their son. Lucius waited until he heard their bedroom door close before turning back to Draco and continuing. "But what the bunny didn't know was that it was his Lord! And he also didn't know that his Dark Lord did not like weak creatures, which our green bunny had become when he so foolishly allowed himself to get injured!" He didn't even notice by this point that Draco had started to shake in fear.
"And the Dark Lord decided that he would put the green bunny out of its misery." Draco's eyes widened. "And he said two words that, well, you may use quite a lot in the future, Draco." Pretending to use an invisible wand Lucius reenacted the moment on Draco's stuffed dragon. "Avada Kedavra!"
Draco stared in terror at his father, and then at his dragon, unable to hold his tears in anymore. "What did he do to the bunny?" he whispered in a tiny voice.
Lucius suddenly realized where he'd actually gone with this story, and realized there was no way to backtrack now. He couldn't exactly lie, but could he just tell his son that he'd killed the main protagonist in this bedtime story? "He…he…" He looked at Draco's expectant and terrified eyes. "He put the bunny to sleep."
End Note: Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Leave reviews. Keep in mind, this is a humor fic (though turning a smidge serious right at the end there – oh well) and complete nonsense, not to be taken seriously. Thanks, again for reading! ~ RK