a/n: Yes, another cracky Doctor Who Christmasy fic. This is the follow up to The Land of Misfit Toys and may include an annoyed Frosty and evil reindeer.
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this fic, Doctor Who, Rudolph, Frosty any of the reindeer etc.
Rose, still bundled up in her white fur trimmed coat, jeans, gloves and now red scarf, from her last adventure with the Doctor in the Land of Misfit Toys, watched as the giant snowman pelted the Doctor with snowballs. She was amazed that a snowperson of his girth could move so fast.
"Um, Mr. Frosty sir, do you think you could stop for a moment so we can chat. It's a bit important."
The Snowman looked at her but when the Doctor started to rise from the mound of snowballs now covering him, the snowman's face contorted into an angry scowl, he muttered about know it all Time Lords and hurled more snowballs at the Doctor until the Doctor was buried in a huge mountain of hundreds of snowballs.
Rose couldn't help the giggles that spilled out. The snowman turned to her with a grin on his own icy face. "Now then my good Miss, how may I assist you?" he asked in a much better mood.
"Well sir," she started to say before he interrupted her and asked her to call him Frosty. "Well Frosty, we've been hearing bad things about Rudolph…" Again, Frosty interrupted her.
"Don't say his name," he warned, spitting out his corn cob pipe which Rose knelt down to retrieve. He gratefully accepted it and placed it back in his snowman mouth. "The reindeer has spies everywhere. Something happened to him in the mountains. We heard he had a run in with the abominable snow monster and well, let's just say they may have made some sort of uh arrangement. He's not the sweet, lovable reindeer he once was. He and his gang of flying reindeer have been terrorizing the North Pole. It's sad really."
"Well, maybe the Doctor and I can help?" Rose said, gently patting Frosty on the back.
The snowman looked at her. "Now then young Miss, what's a lovely lady like you doing with the likes of the terror of all snow people," Frosty said, as he eyed the snow mound covering the Doctor which was starting to shift a bit as he dug his way out.
"Oh, he's not all that bad. I know he's really sorry 'bout what happened. Sometimes he just has um accidents," Rose explained.
Frosty nodded his frozen head. The Doctor's head emerged from the snow and Frosty tossed a lump of coal at him, knocking him smack dab in the head producing an "Ow!" as the Doctor ducked back in the snow rubbing his head. Frosty turned back to Rose. "Hmmm well, I suppose if you're with him, he can't be all bad and if you think he can help…"
"Yeah, the Doctor and me are good at helping with stuff like this. If you could tell us what happened to uh the red nosed…" Frosty shook his head. "fella," Rose continued. "And if you know where we can find him, then we'll take it from there. The Doctor's real good at talkin' and helpin' all sorts of people and um reindeer," Rose finished.
Frosty agreed to tell them about Rudolph's descent into darkness as long as the Doctor remained at least five feet away and kept his sonic in his pocket. After much Time Lord pouting and huffing, the Doctor agreed. As it turned out, the abominable snow monster was really an alien from the planet icicled and had crash landed on the North Pole. It was a curmudgeony beast who got it's kicks from scaring unsuspecting strangers and had a strange craving for reindeer meat. It also had a sick sense of humor and infected Rudolph with a parasite that resided in its fur which when introduced to reindeer, caused them to turn into nasty, mean creatures like the snow monster. The two of them then bonded and decided to amuse themselves with a reign of terror of the North Pole. Rudolph recruited a gang of thugs including some elves and a heard of reindeer. The North Pole hadn't been the same since.
The Doctor and Rose thanked Frosty and ran back to the Tardis to head straight to the lair of the abominable snow beast, the instigator of the whole evil affair. Unfortunately, the Doctor didn't take into account the size of the beast or that Rudolph's evil gang would be hanging about his cave.
They ducked down behind some boulders, while the Doctor gripped her hand with one of his, the other was shoved into his pocket reaching for his sonic.
Rose turned to him. "That Frosty bloke really doesn't like you does he?" she commented.
"Oi, told you, wasn't my fault. It was an accident. He certainly does hold a grudge," the doctor whinged, pulling snow out of his pocket.
Rose grinned. "I'll say, never quite seen anyone get pelted with so many snowballs. I mean you were on the ground and buried by the time I talked 'im into stopping. Guess Time Lords are a bit rubbish at snowball fights." She giggled while the Doctor scowled. "You gotta admit Doctor, he was a bit helpful regarding this whole evil reindeer business."
The Doctor sniffed. "Helpful, I already told you Rudolph was a bit evil."
"Yeah, but you didn't know where to find him or what had turned him all evil like. So, what's the plan?" she asked as she watched the reindeer fighting and wrestling in front of the cave. Suddenly, the abominable snow beast appeared and the reindeer took off running. One poor deer stumbled and the beast grabbed him and carried him back into his cave.
"What do you think that was all about?" Rose asked. The Doctor just looked at her and rubbed his neck. "Doctor?" Rose asked.
"Didn't you hear the part about how he likes to eat reindeer?"
Rose's mouth hung open a bit. "But they was there to protect his cave! He's gonna what? Eat 'em?" she asked, her voice getting louder.
The Doctor put his finger on his lips and pulled her lower to the ground. "But that's awful!" she whispered loudly. "They're protectin him and he eats 'em. I mean, why do they stay? What's the point of hangin' around protectin some snow beast if he picks 'em off as a snack?" she asked, now thoroughly outraged.
The Doctor sighed. "I'm sure they've been promised something in return for risking their lives near the cave. After all, Rudolph is evil and evil does as it wants. Doesn't really have a conscious." the Doctor explained as he pulled out his sonic. "Right, so first things first. Let's get this snow beasty settled. Then, we can have a nice chat with Rudolph."
The Doctor and Rose snuck up closer to the cave ducking behind pine trees, boulders and snow drifts as they made their way closer to the cave entrance. Suddenly, a red glow appeared in the air as the red nosed reindeer followed by his accomplices, Dasher and Prancer landed gracefully among the reindeer guards.
"Oi! Rudolph," one of the reindeer thugs said, running up to him. "That snow beast ate Vixen!"
"Well, he should have run faster shouldn't he!" Rudolph shouted back.
"I didn't join up to be that beast's snack," said another reindeer, who snorted and shook his antlers.
Rudolph ran over and butted heads with the complaining reindeer. "Oh but you did! You took the reindeer oath. My mark is on your hind quarters. Your reindeer antlers are mine! You get the choice of does, the best hay and reindeer treats not to mention you can fly whenever you want! Stop your griping Comet, or maybe you want to spend the night with my partner in the cave," Rudolph said, while his nose glowed menacingly at Comet.
Comet backed down. "No Rudolph, that's okay, I was just blowin' off some steam. You know how it is when your cooped up on cave duty. I'm just itching to get some action. When we gonna make the run at Father Christmas' house? I'm itchin' for some payback from havin' to put up with those disgustingly happy elves."
"Don't worry Comet, your time is comin," Rudolph promised. Rudolph and one of his reindeer cronies made their way into the cave. The Doctor and Rose turned and looked at one another.
"Oh those are some mean reindeer," Rose whispered.
"Welll, they may be under the influence of the parasite. Don't worry, we'll get them sorted," he said as he set his sonic. "Now then, let's have us an avalanche!" he said with a gleam in his eyes. Rose rolled her eyes and put her coat's hood over her. She had a feeling things were about to go pear shaped in a freezing her arse off type of way.
The doctor aimed his sonic at some snow over the cave and it slowly started to tumble down toward the reindeer thugs who were wrestling around by the cave entrance. Unfortunately, a bit more than what he expected fell and it became a loud thundering mass of snow. It did have the desired effect and the deer did run for their lives, however, it also buried Rose and the Doctor.
Using his handy snow melting setting, he was able to make short work of getting them unburied. The Doctor popped his head out and looked around while Rose thumped him on his arse to remind him she was still down there, not that she minded the view. He finished climbing out and reached down for her hand and pulled her up to the top of the snow mound.
Rose looked up at the cave which was now buried, turned and glared at the Doctor. "Oh don't worry Rose! I've got my handy dandy melts snow setting, remember!" he told her and pulled her behind him as he quickly made his way over to the ice blocked cave entrance. After an hour of watching him slowly make his way through the snow and not make much progress as he cursed under his breath, Rose walked up to him.
"Doctor, can't you like amplify that thing. This is takin' forever. What if those deer come back?"
"Oh, they're long gone from here. It won't be much longer. The density of the snow is just a bit unexpected is all." Rose tapped him on the shoulder. "Rose, I just need a bit more time. Look why don't you…"
"Doctor," Rose shouted interrupting him.
He turned and looked at her annoyed and she pointed to a group of reindeer snorting at them. "Oh Hello!" the Doctor called out cheerfully. "I'm the Doctor and this is Rose and there appears to be a snow monster trapped in his cave. Just trying to help out and you are?"
"You humans are trespassing here!" the reindeer angrily said.
"Really? Are we now? Huh, sorry 'bout that. We were just out for a stroll and saw the avalanche. We were just on our way to visit the snow monster here. We might be a bit of fans of his. Just thought we might stop by for a spot of tea. Course, we have to dig him out first. Don't suppose you want to lend a hoof uh, what did you say your name was?"
"I didn't. You don't expect us to believe that do you?"
"Well yes, I do actually. Lemma guess. You're Blitzen right? Listen here Blitzen my friend, truth is Rudolph and you lot are in heaps of trouble as is abominable in there. See, abominable is an illegal alien and you lot have been offering aid to an illegal alien. That would be bad. Now, I'm sure we can overlook it if you stand down and let us have a word with the snow monster," the Doctor said.
"Doctor," Rose shouted. "Show the reindeer your official papers."
"What? Oh yes, my official papers. Here," the Doctor said and showed the reindeer his psychic paper.
The reindeer muttered amongst themselves. Finally, Blitzen looked up. "We don't like your kind here. What makes you think you can come into our land uninvited. This is the North Pole and we don't recognize your laws here," he said and the reindeer closed in on them.
"Wait!" Rose shouted. "Now see here, that snow beast took advantage of Rudolph. He infected 'im with something' and he's usin' it to manipulate him and all of you. All he really wants is for you lot to protect him and be nearby so he can eat you. I mean really, you're just prancing around here waitin' to be a meal and for what? A couple good meals and a chance to snog a doe? Seriously, is that worth bein snow monster snacks?"
"What's the pink and yellow human goin' on about?" one of the other deer asked. Another reindeer came forward. "She's right. I knew Rudolph from before he was banned form the reindeer games. He was a nice reindeer who would do anything for any of us. One day he just changed and now he's all about the snow beast and beatin' up the other reindeer and vandalizing Father Christmas' house. I'm tired of watchin' our friends get eatin'" Several other reindeer muttered, "yeah," After much arguing they decided to help Rose and the Doctor and get to the bottom of the whole snow beast allegations.
Rose smiled brightly at them and they all worked together to dig a tunnel into the cave. Once inside, the Doctor heard the snow beast growling. He ran over to it followed closely by Rose and Blitzen. The rest of the reindeer cowered outside. They found the snow beast in a battle with Rudolph. The Snow Beast was throwing chunks of ice at Rudolph while Rudolph was shooting laser beams out his nose at the Snow Beast.
"Whoa, that's new," Rose commented as a laser beam struck a chunk of ice on the cave wall knocking it loose.
"Look at that," the Doctor said in awe. "He's learned how to focus the power of his nose into a laser beam. That's just beautiful," he said in geeky glee. "What a genius reindeer. I mean Rose, just look at the focus on that laser beam!" Suddenly Rudolph turned his angry reindeer eyes to them and a laser beam shot by the Doctor singeing his coat.
"Oi! Watch it! Janis Joplin gave me this coat!" he shouted out as Rose grabbed him from behind and pulled him down and out of the way of the laser beams.
"Doctor, can you do anything to stop 'im from lasering people?" Rose asked.
The Doctor aimed his sonic at the ceiling of the cave over Rudolph and a massive amount of snow fell on the angry reindeer. The Doctor then marched up to the snow beast who was cowering at the back of the cave.
"All right Abominable Snow Beast, your days of eating reindeer and using Rudolph here are over! Come out quietly and we'll see about getting you home."
The Snow Beast walked out staring at the lump of snow covering Rudolph. The Doctor aimed his sonic at the Snow Beast who raised his arms. "Easy now, I've just been toasted a bit by the red nosed terrorist there. I didn't mean any harm. Just tryin' to make a living like every other Snow Beast," it proclaimed.
"Right and that's why you infected Rudolph here and encouraged his life of crime," Rose shouted at him, shaking her finger. The Doctor looked over and grinned at her for telling off the Snow Beast.
The Snow beast rolled it's eyes. "Ooooo don't you roll your eyes at me, Mister! Now, you tell the Doctor what you infected that poor sweet little deer with so we can fix it," Rose told him, eyes blazing. The Doctor stood in awe of the Tyler scold of doom directed at the Snow Beast.
The Snow Beast actually took a step back and turned to the Doctor. "Please call off the scary female. I didn't mean any harm. I swear, my ship crashed here and I was just trying to survive. I'll cooperate. Just keep the pink and yellow enforcer away from me."
The Doctor grinned and rocked back on his heels. Rose looked offended and crossed her arms still glaring at the Snow Beast. It wasn't long before the Doctor was able to cure Rudolph's evil ways with a concoction made from hay, a sample of the parasite and some soniced pine needles and snow. It didn't take long for the Doctor's formula to take effect and Rudolph was back to being a good and heroic flying reindeer.
The Doctor was also able to fix the Snow Beast's ship and send him on his way with a promise to never show his face on Earth again. Rose freed any of the reindeer who were penned up in the cave as future snacks of the Snow Beast and did her best to help calm down all the Reindeer. While the Doctor fixed the Snow Beast's ship, she took the reindeer back to Father Christmas' house and brokered a peace treaty between them.
The Doctor found her and Father Christmas sharing tea and cookies discussing reindeer politics and the difficulties of finding good elf help.
"Doctor, there you are. Look what Father Christmas gave us!" she exclaimed and showed him a basket filled with cookies decorated with edible ball bearings, loaves of banana pound cake and tins of the Doctor's favorite tea.
"Please accept this with my thanks, Doctor. It's nice to have my family back together again and to have peace at the North Pole."
"No problem, Father Christmas. It's been our pleasure. Oh and um if you ever come across…" The Doctor started to say and leaned over and whispered the rest into Father Christmas' ear. Father Christmas nodded and winked at the Doctor. The Doctor grabbed Rose's hand and they carried their basket of goodies back to the Tardis.
"Doctor, what did you ask Father Christmas?" Rose asked.
"Oh nothing," he said and then looked up at the ceiling in the Tardis and grinned. Rose looked up to see the ceiling covered in mistletoe. She looked back at him and smiled brightly. He waggled his eyebrows and swept her into his arms and they made out a lot.
The End.