Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Disclaimer: Ok so I don't own anything you recognize! Also this story is rated M for a reason so if you are sensitive to sex, rape, or cussing then you probably shouldn't read it.
FAITH DOESN'T MAKE THINGS EASY. IT MAKES THINGS POSSIBLE.
I've always wondered what it would be like to truly be in love. To truly feel as though someone is your whole world, your life, you're everything. Sure I've loved quite a few men in my life. And more often than not they have been head over heels for me. But none of it is ever real. I want to feel that rush. That excitement. The euphoria of walking on cloud nine every time we touch, every time we kiss, every time – what am I saying? That kind of stuff only happens in fairy tales. It doesn't happen in real life.
Dark, cruel and damned, that is real life. Happy endings don't exist and no matter how hard you try to do right in the eyes of God, the world will crush you. This world will tear you limb from limb, break you and then kick you when you're down. Every man for himself. That was reality. Any silver lining would be smothered and permanently ripped out of your sight.
For as long as I can remember, my dad has used me in order to make ends meet and keep us off the street. God cursed me with looks that could stop any man in his tracks and my father has used that to his advantage ever since momma died, spending every waking moment getting drunk or finding men to pay him to have a night with me. I've stopped hoping that I could possibly find someone who loves me for who I am. I've grown numb to the feeling of countless men inside of me, having their way with me. After about the 20th guy you grow very skilled at faking climax. A couple moans, some hair pulling, some scratching and biting, screaming out in "pleasure" and then they get what they want, papa gets what he wants and I'm left feeling empty. Alone. Dead.
And tonight will be no different than any other night. My father gets more money to buy booze and I'm being led up to a shitty hotel room by one of my regulars. Travis Ignacio; the meanest, ugliest, richest man in Brooklyn. With a tight grip on my upper arm that is going to leave a nasty bruise, he is dragging me roughly up to the room. I've learned not to cry out in pain because that only pisses them off and makes the beating and sex that much more painful.
"Get inside you fucking slut." He cursed as he threw me in the room and slammed the door behind him. I fell hard on the bed nearly banging my head on the wall and barely caught my bearings before he had locked the door and crept next to me on the bed. I suppressed a overwhelming urge to gag as I made the mistake of taking a breath. Stale cigars and moldy bread reeked off of his breath. I was hoping that, this being a regular thing, that I would get over the wretched smell, but I wasn't so lucky. I held my breath as well as I possibly could. Alright now, time to turn on my sexy charm.
As always I took control. I reached up behind his head and yanked his disgusting mouth down to mine inserting my tongue and exploring his mouth making him moan into me. I tangled my hands through his black hair and flipped him over onto his back, straddling him, grinding my hips into him and feeling him grow hard against my pelvis. I resisted the urge to vomit as his rough, dirty hands roamed up my milky white thighs grabbing roughly onto my ass. I then began my decent, unbuttoning his brown pants, kissing lightly above his crotch. He arched lustfully into me as I lowered his trousers and worked back up unbuttoning his shirt. This was always about the time when he would go a little crazy and finally take control of the situation. He grabbed tightly onto a handful of my hair and yanked forcefully to bring my mouth back to his. I held back a cry of pain as he held tightly to my hair and flipped me over so that he was on top. He then, roughly, ripped off my dress and undid the clasps on my corset, freeing me of all of my clothing. I noticed his eyes glaze over at the sight of my naked body. He removed his trousers and climbed back on top of me lowering himself inside me.
I imagined a sunny beautiful day, my mom chasing me through the park. I pictured a better life, one with a mother and a father who loved me, who would do anything to make me happy. School, friends...happiness. This is what I imagine, trying to block out the feeling of his touches and his kisses, while he thrust himself deeper and harder and faster inside me. Feeling my mind with bright and happy thoughts was the only way I could fight off the tears that threatened to expel from my eyes.
It lasted not even all of five minutes. Once he finished, as always, he climbed off, put his clothes back on and left saying, "I'll set up another appointment with your father, whore." And he slammed the door behind him, leaving me naked, empty, and alone.
I am getting so tired of feeling like this. I'm so fucking tired of lying here, hating myself, feeling worthless. I got up off the bed and redressed myself, ready to get the hell out of this hotel room that has become my prison. As I was about to reach for the door I heard a key turn and the door started to open.
It swung open to reveal a boy, no a young man. Maybe about 17 years old. I stood frozen in my place not sure what to do. He looked up from the door knob and his cerulean eyes widened in shock as he saw me standing there stationary in front of him.