Jesslyn's guide to being an intern
Episode 1: Stink oyster fishing
By: The Firebending Frog
Authors note:
Hello and welcome To Jesslyn's guide to being an intern, a funny look at what Chris puts his interns through. Now any of you who have read my Total Drama Fanfic past the first two chapters (I am aware they aren't the best but it gets better I swear) know that I introduced a few OC interns, the first one was Jesslyn. Of course being Chief editor I decided I'd take a page out of Disney's book and create my own version of Mabel's guide to life, but written by me. If you're looking for a shipping fanfic that creates a relationship between to total drama contestants you've come to the wrong place, but if you're looking for a comedic story that isn't that hard of a read and looks a lot like my later chapters of Return to the Island... You've come to the right place! Anyway let's see what the backstory behind Picky Picnic's infamous dish... STINK OYSTERS!
Disclaimer:
I do not own Total Drama or any of its characters, they belong to Fresh TV and I can't really be sued for providing free advertisement right?
Two people sat on the shore of the wawanakwa swamp. The place looked terrible, the plants were all dead, decaying, or eating things and the smell was so bad you could literally see it. The one standing closer to the camera had fine Black hair done in a ponytail, Small wire rimmed glasses, and a huge smile plastered on her face. Like all the interns she was wearing a outfit similar to Chris's because the host had opened his own line of survival gear. Only difference was her shirt was red. The one standing in the back was none other than Chef, He was untangling nets and tossing bait into a small rowboat.
"Hello there, I'm Jesslyn and I've decided to make a series of videos capturing my time here in case I die so my family can sue the host." Jesslyn announced expanding her grin despite the morbid subject.
"No they won't your contract clearly outlined the risks!" Chef yelled.
"You may be asking what's that smell? Well you're smelling something different than me since it smells so bad Jeff passed out." Jesslyn exclaimed moving the camera to show the regular cameraman passed out on some nearby sand with the word Goober written on his forehead. Jesslyn then switched the camera back to her, "Don't tell him I wrote that. Hah hah!"
Jesslyn then panned the camera over the swamp.
"You may be asking, what are we doing here? Well to tell you the truth I Don't even understand. Didn't this island sink?" Jesslyn asked from offscreen, "Well how about I answer that question!"
Somewhere inside
The camera is pointed at a projector screen showing off a picture of Wawanakwa.
"Ah Wawanakwa, the most majestic of all islands located in the great lakes. It was fist settled by Vikings in the fourteen hundreds." Jesslyn explained flipping the slide to show crudely drawn Vikings too big to exist, "And then it was taken over by Japan."
Jesslyn flipped to another slide showing a Japanese warship photo shopped in the waters.
"No it wasn't." A voice stated from off screen and Jesslyn panned to camera to face Jeff who had Goober written on his forehead still, "The Japanese were isolated long past the colonization of the Americas."
"But that would mean the evil wizards never took over!" Jesslyn complained.
"Did you do any research?" Jeff asked.
"Fine i'll skip ahead." Jesslyn moped skipping ahead fifteen slides which included photos of Sasquatches, Aliens, The moon, and JFK shaking hands with Napoleon, "And now we deal with the present matter, how are we hosting a season that's on an island that obviously sank in Total Drama All stars."
"Yes explain your idea of wizards and goblins." Jeff growled.
"Wawanakwa is naturally made of volcanic rock, so a mere hour after it sunk it was floating again and was towed back with a multimillion dollar parking ticket." Jesslyn explained, as you can see most of the wildlife has flourished back to health and in the swamps a few oysters got trapped." Jesslyn explained flipping the slides as she went, "And mixed with nuclear radiation they began to stink, which brings us back to the present."
"That is completely ridiculous." jeff commented, "No oyster could do that."
"Figure a!" Jesslyn pointed at Jeff.
"What is there something on my face?" Jeff asked.
"And that's how the stink oyster came to be, and guess what Chef's making the contestants eat?" Jesslyn asked.
"You didn't even explain anything!" Chef yelled.
"It's called editing!" Jesslyn replied turning around in the process.
"Just get over here!" Chef barked.
"I am summoned." Jesslyn smiled running forward and snatching the camera out of the sand before dashing to Chef.
"Put this gas mask on." Chef ordered.
"What do you plan to do with the extra stink oysters?" Jesslyn asked.
"Put them in Chris's Jacuzzi." Chef responded before shoving a gas mask into Jesslyn's face, "NOW GET TO WORK!"
"So how do we know when a stink oyster is under the surface?" Jesslyn asked the camera in her lap and pointed at Chef.
"Bubbles." Chef responded.
"Bubbles?' Jesslyn asked.
"The smell comes from somewhere girly." Chef replied.
"The mud?" Jesslyn asked.
"You don't get what stink oyster means do you?' Chef asked.
"This gas mask is itchy can I take it off?" Jesslyn asked.
"Do you want to die?" Chef asked narrowing his eyes.
Jesslyn was silent.
"HEY LOOK BUBBLES!" Jesslyn shouted dropping the camera on it's side which caught Chef tossing a net into the water along with a buoy.
"We leave them there for fifteen minutes." Chef explained, "We'll lay seven traps."
Jesslyn picked it up the camera and moved it up and down in response.
"So why do you wear dresses?" Jesslyn asked.
"Why do you think?" Chef asked, "Did you not see my angry looking face in Total Drama Action?"
Confessional
Chef: Do you even know how many fanfic pin me as a guy who likes to wear dresses? It's demeaning! The producers are at fault!
Jesslyn: I'm just purposefully acting annoying since Chef will welcome any question that stops me from being so, It's all in strategy.
"So can we pick up the traps now?" Jesslyn asked.
"Not until the timer goes off." Chef responded coldly.
Jesslyn waited.
chef stared at the egg timer in the center.
"How much time is left?" Jesslyn asked.
"Thirty seconds." Chef replied, "let's move to the first buoy."
Chef grabbed both Paddles and began rowing to the first buoy.
"Let's see..." Jesslyn trailed as Chef pulled the net out of the water.
The net was filled with about twenty oysters that gave off a smell that actually managed to make it's way through the gas masks.
"UGH!" Jesslyn gagged.
"There's more where this came from." Chef stated dryly.
Confessional
Jesslyn: Oyster fishing is fun, except for the part where they stink... Maybe I can drop some in Jeff's smelly laundry, it's all over the room we share. Stupid Chris, making me bunk with the cameraman.
Jeff: I take offense to that!
Chef: I have plenty for the challenge and plenty for dumping in Chris's Jacuzzi.
"One more." Chef stated as they pulled the boat up next a lot of Bubbles popping near the surface.
"Are you sure there's supposed to be that many bubbles? Jesslyn asked.
"it just means we've found the jackpot." Chef replied before the buoy disappeared underwater, "What the?"
The surface began to expand as a gigantic oyster penetrated the surface.
"GRAB THE PADDLES! WE'VE GOT TO GO!" Chef screamed as the oyster surfaced.
"XNT GZUD RSNKDM LX BGHKCQDM! DMSDQ LX LNTSG ZMC EZBD XNTQ CDZSG!" The oyster yelled in some unknown language as Jesslyn screamed and Chef began paddling at the same time.
The boat rocked and the camera blacked out.
"I don't know, It couldn't have ended up that far away." Jesslyn stated as the camera came back into focus. It was lying sideways on the beach and Jesslyn was facing the other way.
"Look harder!" Chef ordered, "I will return for you giant oyster!"
"THERE IT IS!" Jesslyn shrieked happily dashing to the camera and picking it up before pannin g over the area, "The monster oyster destroyed our boat, freed most of the stink oysters, and sunk back into the water. I'm never coming back her."
"I WILL RETURN!" Chef yelled at the water as Jesslyn panned the camera back to herself.
"next time on Jesslyn's guide to being an intern we'll learn how to apologize to a messy roommate after ruining their day." Jesslyn smiled pulling a stink oyster out of her pocket and laughing evilly.
Okay that was fun to write, I don't have to deal with my regular dramatic scenes and can instead make funny lines. Not every chapter will be like this because mixed in will be things like intern rivalry and dealing with Chris. So stay tuned for more!
Any suggestions or requests? Wanna see something in particular? leave it in a comment or PM me, your choice.
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