Disclaimer: I own nothing! Now that that's out of the way-on with the show!

After reading a satire of Gilmore Girls I decided to try my own! Enjoy!

Rory-"Why do you have to be such an asshole?"

Dean- "Asshole-that I am not!"

Rory-"Oh but an asshole you are! You and your stupid dumping me in front of my friends."

Dean-"You know what- I think you are a slut!"

Logan- "No one calls Rory a slut!" (Jumps on him and tackles him to the ground beating his face in!)

Tristan-"What's going on" (he asks casually walking up seeing Dean getting his face beat in.

Rory-"Oh, Dean called me a slut and now Logan is defending my honor!" (She whispers as if watching some kind of movie)

Tristan-"A slut! Rory Gilmore is not a slut!" (he yelled jumping in, where Logan takes a break to watch Tristan beating Dean now)

Logan-"Who's he?"

Rory-"a guy who had a crush on me in high school,"

Logan-"Want to get out of here for a bit?"

Rory-"Nah-let's watch!"

Logan-"that's an even better idea" (they sit on a bench and watch Dean lay helpless under Tristan who has gained a ton of muscle since military school)

Jess-"What's with them?" (he asks as he walks up with his hands in his Leather jacket)

Logan-"Dean called Rory a slut so I started to beat him up, then Tristan found out and took over giving me a break!"

Jess-"Oh no way! Tristan, my turn!" ( pulls Tristan off and begins to kick Dean senseless.

Tristan-"Thanks man, my hand was starting to hurt!"

Jess-"No problem!" (Turns back to beat up Dean again. After a bit stops and walks away from Dean. "Let's just say that boy won't be reproducing any time in the next decade!"

The all laugh and walk off together with Rory between them all.

Logan-"So which one of us do you want?"

Rory-"Tough choice-you all did beat up that stupid asshole Dean! Which by the way I must thank you all-he was always an idiot! Anyways, I was thinking I could go out with Tristan tonight, Jess on Saturday and Logan on Monday!"

Logan-"Saving the best for last!"

Rory-"Which ever one of you 'woos' me the most-then I'll date him!"

Jess-"Man, this bites!"

Tristan-"I'm first. Excuse me gentlemen, but you are decreasing my time with Rory," (He says flexing his gigantic biceps.)

Rory-"Holy shit-you are all man, aren't you?"

Tristan-"That I am pretty lady-let's go!"

Jess-"By hottie!" (winks at Rory)

Logan-"Later Ace!" (Smirks evilly)

As Rory and Tristan turn a corner, Tristan is oddly hit by a bus and is doomed to be ugly. Rory rushes to his side.

Rory-"I am sorry, but I can't be paired with someone as ugly as you on this show! Call me after your plastic surgery comes through!" (Walks away when she is met with Jess)

Jess-"Sorry about the truck-I didn't mean to keep him alive!"

Rory-"That's okay-he's ugly-according to my contract I won't be paired with ugly men!"

Jess-"Good to know-I'm glad I have a professional make up artist to keep me this good looking" (gives pouty lips)

Rory-"Hey Jess?"

Jess-"Yes Alexis-I mean Rory"

Rory-"I forgot to tell you-it was written that I can't be paired with guys who are mysterious! Here comes your ride!" (Backs up)

Jess-"What ride?" (Mysteriously hit by a very sleek Ferrari)

Logan-"Ewe, now he's all over my windshield!"

Rory-"Meh, we can buy a new one! Now let's go start our life together lover-now that all those of my past are dead to me! Hahahaha!"

They ride off into the sunset in a new Red Ferrari that has magically appeared!

A/n: Yes this was stupid-I found it funny, seeing as how I wrote it. Just review please!