thanks to Fari who nudged me into the right direction for the title and found the one typo I had missed :-)

loving hello to ebi who already knows this one :-)

They had actually used the bed this time. And maybe that was part of the reason it had felt different. Slow, almost gentle. Yeah right. Gentle. With the evil dead. Buffy snorted and sat up, already fishing for her underwear. There was a notable lack of snarky comments from the vampire by her side so she turned to look at him. His eyes were glued to a point behind her, but when she moved to find out what it was, he leaned in for a kiss. The kind of kiss that usually started their little encounters. Wrong. Going another round was... wrong... because...right, because of Dawn! Buffy pulled back.

"Stop."

The way he was looking at her she could tell what was coming next.

"Make me."

Buffy rolled her eyes. So predictable. So...oh. Oh! Crap. He was good with his mouth... vampire. Oral fixation. Not good. Or, well, actually... Wait a minute. He was trying...

"What are you trying to distract me from?"

All slayer now. She managed to get up and out of bed without ever breaking eye contact, and for once she didn't even seem to notice that she was completely naked. Naked and gorgeous... She put her clothes back on, her eyes still locked with his and...oh bugger. She reached behind her and picked up the worn old book he'd left on the shelf.

"Put that back", he growled, his game face slipping in place.

She wasn't impressed at all.

"What is it, spell book?"

"Put. It. Back."

She ignored him, opening the book. And the next thing she knew she was down, the back of her head slamming into the ground, hard, very painful. Spike hit her again, and the book slipped from her hand. He grabbed it and flung it as far away from her as possible. Her head swam. He'd never hit her this hard. Full vampire strength, no reining himself in. Whatever it was that he was hiding from her, it had to be powerful. And probably very bad. She pulled herself up. Blood. She could taste her own blood, and from the way her ears were still ringing she could tell that the back of her head wasn't doing so good. She'd come back for it. She needed to rest... No. By the time she'd make it back he'd hide it where she couldn't find it, or destroy it even. She needed to know now.

"What. Is in. That book, Spike?"

He just growled at her again, still in game face, his hands curled into tight fists at his sides.

"Back off, slayer. Not your business."

Something about the way he held himself, shoulders squared, eyes narrowed, told her that he'd fight her to the death over this. She made a conscious effort to relax. Keeping her voice deliberately calm she said:

"Spike, what are you up to?"

"Not your business, slayer", he said again, but his voice was softer and he slipped out of his vamp face. "Let it go."

Buffy looked at him for a long moment and then nodded. Ouch. Spike flinched at the brief expression of pain on her face.

"I'm sorry, slayer", he said, reaching out to touch her split lip, but she turned away, and a moment later she was gone.

Spike picked up the thing he'd fought Buffy for, the reason he'd hurt the woman he loved. He knew he had to destroy it. She'd never let it go.

Nice fire. The thing burned nice and bright. The smoke got into his eyes and made them water. Those were not tears. No way was he crying over...

"Dear diary", Spike murmured, "it was nice talking to you."

A/N: I had originally intended to call it "The Vampire's Diary", which I still think is brilliant :-D

But, you know - point...