By: gabumon
*Note: I DO NOT own any of the characters in this fic so please don't sue me!*
The blue birds were chirping ,and the cicadas were making that weird screeching noise.
It was about 9:30 am , when as usual, Tenchi Masaki was heading up the steps of the Masaki shrine to polish the tombstones. Tenchi wasn't particularly trying to be observant , but he couldn't help but notice how beautiful the jade green, dew soaked, grass looked, while the early morning sun shone upon it.
This thought was soon interrupted by a loud whiney voice, ".....Ouch." cried a weary and banged up Mihoshi , whom, unlike most days wanted to assist Tenchi with cleaning the tombstones. *sigh* Man, that girl has got to watch her step. This is the third time this week she's fallen down some stairs. Tenchi thought as he reached out his hand to help her up from her fall. Mihoshi kindly and painfully accepted his offer. As the bubble brained police officer struggled to her feet an item fell out of her pocket, down the steps , and into some bonsai bushes , unfortunately this went unnoticed.
"Ehh, thank you Tenchi , I think this may be the second time I've fallen down some steps this week!" Mihoshi replied embarrassingly, thanking the young Jurain prince for his help. "Actually , Mihoshi this would be the third time, the second time you hit your head on the wooden rail and fell unconscious." Tenchi answered with a weak smile on his face. "Oh, really? the third time? I guess me falling unconscious the other day must be the reason I still feel a little sick." "You feel sick? Well Mihoshi, why don't you back down to the house, I can polish the tombstones myself." Tenchi said in a kind, loving voice. This remark made Mihoshi very upset. "B-But, I wanted to help you!" she replied, while crying waterfalls. "Oh, I'm sorry Mihoshi , I didn't know you wanted to help me that bad! Please don't cry; you can still help, then you can go get some rest ok?" Tenchi panicked, not meaning to upset the golden haired galaxy policewoman.
Mihoshi's tears soon turned to a smile, as started skipping around in a circle while clapping her hands, "Yay, yay yay!" she yelled till she finally ran out of breath.
Tenchi continued his long journey up the steps to the shrine *sigh* Will someone pleeease tell me how Kiyone can stand her? Oh yeah now I remember, I think I saw 6 bottles of anti-depressants in the medicine cabinet , that must be how she keeps on living... Tenchi thought to himself with a weak smile.
"C'mon Mihoshi, we need to hurry, I still have to sweep the porch, harvest the crops, and go to practice, all before lunch time." Tenchi replied, as he rushed up the last couple steps. Mihoshi followed the young Jurain prince , panting as she slowly made it up the last leg of the trip. Hopping around and yelling was very tiring.
Tenchi pulled a white rag and a bottle of Windex from his pockets. *that's right I said Windex, it does wonders for tombstones* And began to polish the tombstones delicately . "Tenchi, what am I supposed to do?" the galaxy policewoman asked shyly. Tenchi looked around trying to find something for her to do, that hopefully wouldn't cause any potential disasters. "Umm, let's see here, I don't see how she could mess up cleaning a tombstone with Windex?" Tenchi said under his breath, so Mihoshi couldn't hear his insulting remark. "Here you go Mihoshi." Tenchi replied glibly , as he handed her a cloth and a squirt bottle. "Now, all you have to do is squeeze the handle and out comes a special cleaning liquid, then wipe the area you've sprayed with the cloth I gave you, then repeat this process." Tenchi replied , making absolutely sure the bubble brained police woman understood.
"Tenchi, why does everyone talk to me like I'm brainless?" Mihoshi asked curiously. Because you are... Tenchi thought to himself, though that wouldn't be the answer he'd tell her, but before he could give a reply Mihoshi answered the question herself. "Hey , this stuff is like magic! When I spray it on the tomb stone , then wipe it off, the tombstone suddenly becomes cleaner!" the dimwitted police woman replied happily, as she continued to spray the tombstone repeatively. "*Sigh* that's why..." Tenchi muttered to himself , while once again taking pity on Kiyone.
Mihoshi began to sway back and forth, "Uh, Tenchi I don't feel so good...." Tenchi leapt form where he sitting , "Well, c'mon Mihoshi, I'll take you back to the house." he panicked; she really looked sick. Tenchi helped the police woman to her feet. "Ehhmm, Tenchi , I, I feel like I'm going to..."
*SPLATTER!, to late*
"MIHOSHI! What have you done!!!" Tenchi yelled tugging at his short spiky hair, as he gazed upon , to his horror , Mihoshi had thrown up all over his ancestors' tombstones. "Uh umm, well I feel better..." Mihoshi replied trying the best to her ability, to look at the bright side. Tenchi was more in shock then anything else , as he took in the scene placed before him, taking in the realization of this problem. "Oh, crap! what if Grandpa finds out Mihoshi hurled all over Grandma!" Tenchi panicked , as he went into a frenzied cleaning of the tombstones. "Tenchi, I'm really sorry , I didn't mean to!" the ditzy blonde managed to reply before she started balling puddles onto the ground. "Mihoshi, no I'm not mad! Just very umm, surprised." Tenchi lied , he really hated it if he made one of the girls cry. Mihoshi's tears soon went away, "Oh, Tenchi thank you , thank you, thank you, thank you..." Mihoshi cried happily, as she continued to thank him until she ran out of breath. "*Sigh* C'mon Mihoshi, let's get you back to the house..." Tenchi replied sadly, as he attempted to guide Mihoshi down the stairs, unfortunately Mihoshi ended up falling down the rest of steps anyway , this was followed by Tenchi racing after the tumbling, brainless blonde.
*Mean While in a Near by Tree*
Not very far away from the shrine, Ryoko stood watch over Tenchi in her tartan and blue striped dress , standing upon the thick branch of a cherry blossom tree. Errr, damn it ! the cyan haired woman thought , as she pounded her fist into her hand. Why'd that stupid blonde have to come with him?! I mean how am I supposed to seduce Tenchi with that babbling idiot in my way!? Ryoko thought to herself, as she watched Tenchi running down the stairs after the tumbling police woman.
That's when something square and pink in the bonsai bushes below caught her eye. Well, well, well, what have we here? the sly demon thought to herself , as she teleported herself where the object was located. Ryoko reached down to pick up the little pink cube, "Huh? What's Mihoshi's materializer doing over here?" Ryoko began to examine it more closely , *Beep* a police gun appeared in front of her. "Oops.." Ryoko turned it over again and a cup of coffee spilled onto the ground. "Wow, even Mihoshi could never get it to make her a cup of coffee." Ryoko asked surprised at her discovery. "Hmm, let's see what else it can do." *Beep, beep, beep* a play girl magazine popped up. "Ooh well, would ya look at here..." Ryoko replied devilishly as she quickly flipped through the pages. "Hey!? How come Tenchi's not in here!?"Ryoko said in a very disappointed tone , as she threw the magazine behind her.
Ryoko kicked the materializer to the side, and leaned against the tree with her arms crossed , and her telekinesis tail twitching back and forth, following her emotions in it's sway. That's when she, not really trying to be analytical noticed, how well she could really control her artificial tail. Hmm let's see what I can do here... she thought as she pictured... Well I'll just say it was her version of a happy thought, I'll leave it to your imagination of what that might be. *just remember we're talking about Ryoko here* and she watched as her tail swayed happily , in tune with her thoughts. Then she imagined something that only happened in nightmares , about this ugly girl named Sakuya winning Tenchi. Her tail then switched angrily.
If I can make this thing react to my emotions then maybe I can use this tail to my advantage... she thought with a devilish grin spreading across her face, as she reached down and once more picked up the materializer. She then wrapped her telekinesis tail around the little pink cube. Ok let's see , what do I really want right now? Ooh I know! *Beep , boop, beep* and a large bottle of sake landed in her eager hands. "Alright it worked! Who knew if I combined my telekinesis tail, a materializer, and an unusual idea , I can get what ever I imagine. Well, that is of course with the exception that my tail's actually touching the materializer..." Ryoko thought to herself happily, when something dawned on her, "Wait a minute, I can't show anyone I can get sake any time I want, there'd be to many bottles..." shortly after making this remark, Ryoko had another bright idea. "But, what if there was only one bottle...they'd never suspect a thing, well other then that I'm very drunk..." She then imagined one thing that she had always wanted. *Boop, beep,boop* And another bottle of sake came falling from midair. Ryoko then tossed the other sake bottle to the side, as she caught the new one. "Hee, Hee, Hee, I won't be needing that other one." she thought with her trade mark devil grin. "Cause you're not just any regular bottle of sake... You're the never ending bottle of sake..."
How will this new discovery effect the others? And more importantly in chap. 2 Who will be the unlucky soul that has to take The Never Ending Bottle of Sake away from Ryoko?
And this concludes chap. 1 , I hope you liked it! I realize it was short ,but I promise the others will be much longer, not to mention 10x funnier! So be sure to catch chap. 2 of The Never Ending Bottle of Sake: The chosen one....