Author's note:

This is the first fan fiction I have written so I hope that everyone can excuse my probable lack of skill at writing. I have read a great many but this is the first I have actually written. Without further ado, welcome to the story. I'm not so great at writing sex scenes as well but, I will try my best, as those will be in this story for all of you to read (sorry kiddies, I'm slapping an M on this one).

Also! The backstories for each of the characters (except Joel) were made by misspk, check out her story Maya's Story, Past, Passion, Purpose and something else.

Italicized text is the specified character's thoughts.

Chapter 1: Appearances and such forth.

Joel woke from his slumber to the violent sound of his neighbors engaging in yet another early morning round of loud, kinky sex.

'I really have to find a better place to live.' 'If I have to wake to this again, I'm going to personally murder both of them with whatever disgusting instrument they are currently exploring the uses of.' Joel thought. Although his anger was somewhat mitigated by the fact that he was leaving for Pandora today, to search for the second vault. He decided to go, ignoring the warnings given to him by everyone he had confided in.

'Fuck them; all their "I know better than you and I think you're making a mistake" drives me insane.' 'I'll make all the mistakes I want and if you think you know better than me, well you can shove that idea where the sun don't shine.'

He wrenched himself free of his bed and made his way to the shuttle bay. He was not going to enjoy the trip to Pandora.

His ship landed on the burnt, dusty space station landing grounds after having an extremely uneventful trip. Literally nothing interesting had happened on the way, usually you hear stories of space pirates and whatnot, but there had been nothing of the kind. Just a boring shuttle for 49 hours (that's Pandoran hours, they are 18 minutes long and the Pandoran day is 90 hours long. You best get used to this, as I write using the Pandoran day/night cycle). Joel looked at the flyer he was holding, it had the instructions on how to get to the main Pandoran headquarters for Hyperion on it. Some nut job who calls himself Handsome Jack had printed flyers that beckoned for adventurers to come and join him in the quest for The Vault (II).

'I'll bet this whole thing is a trap, no one gives out free invitations to join in a quest with a reward THAT good.' 'I swear, this planet will be the death of me.'

"Train to Emerald Glacier now boarding, welcome Vault Hunters" The sugary sweet voice of the robotic announcer was sickening, and would make any reasonable person doubt their personal safety. Joel abandoned the idea of making his own way without Hyperion's help, simply because it would be far harder to make his way to the Vault on foot. With a stiff upper lip and a stern expression, he boarded the train, quickly taking in the message that there would be 2 more stops before the base was reached.

Joel placed himself on an unoccupied seat and looked at the surrounding people. There was a very tiny man who looked as though he ate nothing but steroids, and probably could throw people much farther than he trusted them. There was a man who had the "distant thought" look about him, and who also seemed to have an "A" tattooed on his head with what looked like lead, or silver. And finally, there was, maybe a robot, or a very tall man in a mask who appeared to be cleaning a sniper rifle.

'Great, this can only go well for me, I'm stuck on a train with 3 people who would probably try to murder me if I walked into them.' Although, funnily enough,he was wrong. The very tiny man walked up to him and said:

"Morning Amigo, what's your name? I'm Salvador.

Joel was stunned by the man's politeness, and took the hand that had been outstretched towards him.

"Joel's the name good sir, and I will agree with your statement, the morning is good, although a few hundred degrees lower would be better." Joel replied, attempting a joke.

"Haha, it certainly would be better my friend, now come, sit, meet the rest of the crew."

Salvador gestured to the man who had the tattoo.

"That there is Axton." "He was in the Dahl army before he came here." The man who was apparently named Axton waved to him and said:

"Yeah yeah, but I left them a long time ago, I decided I would be better on my own."

Salvador then gestured to the other train car occupant and said:

"That, uh, man, I guess?" "He, or she is Zer0" "Apparently an assassin, but he won't talk much." Zer0 then nodded his head in the direction of the two men.

"Great, well it's good to meet the people I'll be searching for the Vault with, and I hope we'll all become great friends." Joel said to everyone, genuinely hoping that that could happen, like ever.

He took a seat with Salvador and began striking up a conversation.

"So, if you don't mind my asking, why are you at your current level of stature?" Joel asked, trying to be polite,

"What?" was all Salvador could respond with.

"Why are you short?"

"OH!" "That's because of the steroids I use, couldn't have this much muscle without them." He flexed his biceps to make his point.

'I fucking knew it.' Joel thought to himself.

"Although they've shrunk my balls down to the size of marbles, ah well, you win some, you lose some." "So why do you wear a hood?" Salvador pointed at the hood and mask on his face.

"That my friend, is something that I will tell you some other day." "I was almost killed because of what's under this hood, so I will reveal it to you at some point, but not today."

"Ok then, but in that case you've got to tell me how many women you've slept with."

"The answer to that question is the same as life, the universe and everything, would be 42."

"Shit amigo, that's a lot."