Right after Grave Danger part 2, but before start of season 6 of CSI. I do not own any of these characters, Christina Sanders is OC.
Two days, I was out cold in the hospital for two days. I vaguely remember getting out of the hell hole and being put into the ambulance. After that is a blur of faces, mostly of Catherine and Warrick, nameless doctors, the sounds of beeping and words I couldn't hear. Now, I slowly wake, my head hurts a little and I feel numb…must be the meds. I clear my vision and look around my room. I have my own room, and it's big, at least for a hospital room it was. I look to my left and almost smile, Grissom was able to get another bed in here to sleep, which he was doing. I couldn't move my right arm and I look down to see Catherine in a chair, her head on my bed, her hands clasping my arm, she's asleep too. Warrick is to my right as well, the window ledge, awake, but not facing me, he's looking outside…it's sunny.
"Hey." My voice is soft, rough, like I haven't used it in years. Must have hurt it slightly between my screaming and the crying, but Warrick hears me just fine.
"Nick!" Warrick nearly runs to me, careful not to wake Catherine. "Buddy, am I glad to see you awake, been sleeping a long time."
"I feel weird." Is all I can say.
"The meds for the ant bites. Gris said that you'll feel off from them."
"Bites?"
"Yea, if you get bitten by enough of those fire ants they put a toxin in your blood that makes you really sick."
"Devil ants." I try to joke, Warrick laughs, but another voice breaks our talk.
"In other times I would argue, but in this case…" Grissom comes into my field of vision. "How are you feeling besides the meds?"
"Ok." I say, but I don't feel it. Psychically I may be fine now, but mentally…no way. However, they look tried and I don't want to worry them.
"I'll go get the doctor and call everyone." Warrick than leaves, this wakes of Catherine. She doesn't say anything, just pulls me into a gentle hug.
"Thank god!" She whispers in my ear as I feel her tears on my neck.
"Nick!" A female voice entered the room. Catherine let go me and I turn to see my parents at the door. My mother rushes over and gives me a hug too.
"Glad to see you awake, Poncho." My dad pats my shoulder. Even after this he still hates to show attention. Though I know he loves me, a little hug once in awhile could help.
"How long?" I want to know when they were called.
"Sine you where taken." My mom answered as she pulled back. "We didn't call Brian though, we wanted you back first. He was told yesterday, however, he can't make it out."
"That's fine." I sigh, he works harder than dad, and we didn't have the closet brother relationship anyways.
"We were willing to pay the bastard the money, if the lab would have let us." I could see my father giving Grissom an evil look.
"The money we were given and gave him was blown up, it was a good thing you didn't." Grissom answered sternly. Great, my father and my mentor hate each other.
"I'm just glad you're home. You work with such a great group of people, they never gave up." My mother, counter acting my father's negative statement about my coworkers with a positive one.
"Maybe you should find a less dangerous profession, Poncho." My father can really pick the time and place.
"Dad…not today." I said, I'm getting tired again, I just want to sleep. "I'm still tired."
"Then rest, we'll come by later." My mother gives me a kiss on the cheek as my father nods and the two of them leave. I go right back to sleep.
During the next two days, if I wasn't sleeping, someone was with me. I was able to convince my parents yesterday that I was fine and that they could go home and I'll meet them in Texas in a few days. I was given a mandatory month off by Ecklie. In which time I had to have four psych evaluations before coming back. He told me this yesterday morning, so in the afternoon I promised my parents that I would come back to Texas for some of that time. They left happy enough. Catherine, Warrick and Grissom were here nearly all the time, Sara, Greg, David, Doctor Robbins, Brass, Sofia and even Hodges came to visit when they could. I loved that they cared, but I wanted to get out of this hospital, now. I didn't even understand why I was still here. The toxin from the ants is gone, the bites have almost all healed, I'm in no pain and I can eat solids just fine. I wanted out and I just wanted to be left alone. How can I move on from this if they won't stop bringing it up? Though I was happy to hear what Grissom was saying right now.
"You'll let me chose?" I stared at Grissom with confused eyes.
"What you went through, it was horrifying. You should have the right to pick who you're being forced to talk with." Grissom grinned at his own contradicting line.
"What about paperwork? If I pick someone that doesn't work for the crime lab…"
"Just as long as I sign off on it, it'll be fine." Grissom finished.
"Then I chose Christina." I nodded.
"I thought you would, she'll be over shortly to get a session out of the way."
"Are you sure that it's ok?" He wanted no one to get in trouble on his account.
"You just worry about your own healing." Was all he said, which means…there were problems, with Ecklie, damn.
"Ok." I nodded. I wanted to scream, why the hell did this happen to me? Why can't I just find away to deal with it without causing people problems. Why, why, why? Grissom left a few minutes later, and once I knew he was gone, I started moving. I had to get out of this place and go somewhere…anywhere but here. Warrick brought me a set of cloths. I threw on the jeans, blue shirt and light black jacket. I fixed up my bed, I watched out of the door, none of the nurses on call for me were out, and then I power walked out of there. Once out of the elevator on the lobby floor, I hid behind the staircase; Christina was on the other side waiting for an elevator to open. I felt a little guilty for just leaving when I knew that she was coming, but I just couldn't deal with a session right now. She'll forgive me, maybe. As soon as she was in the elevator and the doors closed, I nearly ran out of the hospital and down the street.
It was dark, I didn't have a watch on me, but I knew that it had to be well past nine pm. Christina would have called the group and they are freaking out right now I'm sure. I wish that I could care, but I don't. I love them, but they are choking me with the questions, the looks and the false smiles. No one gets what I went through. It was hell, I really thought I was going to die, and I was going to shoot myself. If they were just a few seconds later…no I didn't want to go there. I just kept walking, not really paying attention to where I was going, until I nearly ran into a sign. It was for an apartment complex, one I knew…it was Greg Sanders.
Why the hell was I here? Greg was just like everyone else and I didn't want to deal with that. But the more I thought about the more I remember that he didn't ask the questions, or give the looks. He always looked at me like he understood. That can't be right, he was never buried alive…but he did nearly die and by a friend and co-workers hand. In some way, that has got to be bad. Before I could think too much about it, I was walking to his building, opening the door and using the stairs to get to the fourth floor, his floor. Within five minutes, I was at his door and at a loss. He's working, he wouldn't be home, and what am I doing? I turn to leave, but the door opens to Greg holding keys. He was leaving.
"Nick? What are you…do you know the panic you caused everyone?" Greg was both relieved but slightly upset with me.
"I…" I didn't know what to say, I don't even know why I'm here!
"Come here." Greg grabs my arm to pull me in. He closes the door behind us and pulls me to the couch. This is only the second time I've been to the new apartment. He moved out of his condo last year when he turned CSI. It was a nice size, two bedrooms, one full, but huge, bathroom and a very nice, updated kitchen. The living area was the first thing you walk into. The kitchen was to the left of the door and to your right was the hall to the bedrooms and bathroom. Even though he was on the fourth floor, he had a nice view of the city. Shockingly it was very clean too. He sits me down and squats in front of me. "Are you alright?" He looks at me in the eye and that's scares me. He's the only one to look me in the eye since I was rescued.
"I just…I just needed to get away. Don't have them take me back." I pleaded.
"Okay." Greg nodded, stood up and took his phone out of his pocket. He used his speed dial and called Grissom, who answered on the first ring. "Gris, it's Greg, I have Nick, he's fine, but he wants to be alone for awhile." Pause "No Grissom, he is fine and I'll make sure he sleeps. We can call off the search. So you need me to come in?" Pause "Thanks, I'll tell him, good night." He hung up. "Grissom's just happy that you're safe and has ordered me to stay with you. However, if you want me to leave I will."
"No, you're fine, thank you." I sighed…a huge weight just lifted.
"You hungry? I know for a fact that hospital food is gross."
"Yes, I am very hungry actually."
"What do you want?"
"Burgers?"
"Sounds great."
We had our burgers within thirty minutes and were now eating them on his couch while watching some mindless tv. Talking to Greg was easy, he didn't push, let me talk about what I wanted and didn't ask that question of "Are you ok today?" Within an hour I got comfortable enough to ask.
"Does it ever go away?"
"What?" Greg turns to me.
"The nightmares."
"Not entirely, I'll still have small flashbacks when I smell burnt plastic."
"So, I'll never be able to move on."
"Nick, you will, it'll just take some time."
"Grissom and the others aren't helping. I can't move on if they won't stop talking about it."
"Would you rather they ignore you?"
"Yes, if you really want to know." I snap.
"Nick, I can't understand what you went through. However, it was hell for us to. We could see you and not do a damn thing to help you. Than when we found out that we hurt you by keeping the light on…it made it worse."
"I'm sorry that you had to see it." I wanted to cry, I forgot, they did get a small taste of the hell I was in.
"And we hate that you had to go through that."
"Right."
"Nick, why did you come to me?"
"Because…you understand."
"About nearly dying? I guess I do, but what you went through tops the lab explosion."
"I didn't know that our near deaths were keeping score."
"You get a thirty." Greg smirked. I laughed, I laughed about a joke that was about our near deaths, our days of hell. Only Greg could do that, I now know.
"Yours involved a friend, which must have been hard for you."
"Catherine was good about it, spent all her suspended time between Lindsey and I, even brought Lindsey to see me."
"Did you…" I couldn't finish, it was a rude question so I caught myself. However Greg seemed to know what I was going to say.
"Hate her? No, I was mad at her for awhile, she let me rant and yell to her, but it passed very quickly."
"Where can I release my angry?"
"That's what Chris is for or, I'll be happy to be your punching bag."
"Thank you, but I don't want to hit anyone, just know that I can let go, talk to someone."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't we doing that now?"
"Yes…yes we are." I yawned. I didn't remember being tired.
"You want to…"
"No!" I jumped to respond. I didn't want to go back to the hospital and I didn't want to go home. "Do you mind if I stay the night?"
"No." Greg smiled.
"Good, I hate that hospital." I joked.
"You know that you can talk to me. I know that you have to talk to my sister, but I am here."
"I know, but it's still fresh, I just can't talk about all now."
"I get it." Greg nodded, looking at the VCR clock which read 10:54pm. "Let's get you to sleep, if I don't Grissom will know and come to my apartment and yell."
"How will he know?" I ask as we stand up to head to the spare room.
"He's Grissom, he just knows." Greg joked, I laughed with him. The spare is simple, small, just big enough to fit a double bed, one dresser and a small closet; no window. We said our goodnights and then went to bed.