God of Cooking

by Kabaneri

A oneshot about a real God, Goddess to be exact, attending Tootsuki.

Disclaimer! I haven't watched all of Shougeki no Soma or red all the manga. I don't have any deep knowlege too, so if something is not right, BLAME MY IGNORANCE, not my work and ideas. I also don't know about Tootsuki. The only things I know are that it's a super strict cooking school, it's ginormous and has a TON of pictures of previous generations of elite 10's !st seat. This story won't be accurate!

There were a lot of people to pass the 200 servings test during the camp. One of these students was Kamino Ryouko. A newly transferred student. She arrived a week after the start of school. Let's go back a little...

=== Principal's office ===

"So, I have 'ta go to the camp? Can't I skip it? You know what the result will be if I go, right?"

Ryouko was sitting on a couch, her legs on the table, a juice in her left hand and a fishcake in the right. She was relaxed to the point you would think it's her own home instead of the principal's office. She wore casual clothes, a T-shirt with an anime meat on it, baggy pants, sandals and a crescent moon hairpin on her left side. Across the table sat the prnciple of Tootsuki, the famous Nakiri Senzaemon.

"HAHA! I'm sorry but you have to go. You are registered as a student and we can't bend the rules for you Miss." unlike his imposing and agressive demeanour he displayed, right now he was respective toward the 15 year old girl.

"I know, I know. It was me who wanted to enroll here again, anyway." she ate her fishcake and drank her juice in one go. "Aaaah. That's better. Well, I'll be going now Se-chan, also don't worry, I won't go seriously about it. Your granddaughter and the other students won't be overshadowed by me in any way, after all it's interesting to watch them." she exited the office and closed the door.

'Yes, it would be such a shame if they get crushed by someone like her.' Senzaemon thought. 'Kamino Ryouko, the goddess of cooking.'

=== Flashback ===

Senzaemon was still a young man, just graduated from university. He was called by his father one day.

"What do you need from me, father?" he asked politely.

"Senzaemon, I have something important to tell you. You know in the future, you'll take over Tootsuki as it's principal, so I'll tell you a secret that's been handed down since the school's founding. This secret is not to be told to anyone, or else you'll end up ruining your life and maybe other people's lives. I'll ask you, are you ready to hear it, or not?"

"Yes, father, I'm ready!"

"Ok. Miss Kamino, please enter."

The door to the left opened. From there a girl came out. She wore a long summer dress in traditional Japanese patterns and a staw hat. She looked like a high schooler, she was petite and looking at her from the back she looked like at most 1st year highschooler but if you looked at her face, you'd have doubts. Her face was more mature looking and had a certain look of experience. She could pass for an university studend.

'She seems familiar. Have I seen her somewhere?' (Senzaemon)

"This is Miss Kamino, I don't know if you remember her but she was a student in Tootsuki. She graduated when you graduated from middle school."

Senzaemon was hit with a sudden realization. He now remembered her. She graduated second and was an outstanding student, although she was always taying in the back and away from cameras and reporters.

'Tthat's impossible! It's really her, but how does she look so young?! If what father said she should be in her 30s, how does she still look the same?'

"Miss Kamino, will you explain or should I?"

"You go." She sat on a chair "I'm tired."

"Ahem. Now, you also sit down, Senzaemon, it'll be a long story."

He sat down on a coach and looked at his father.

"It all started way back when Tootsuki was opened for the first time. A mysterious girl appeared before the first principal, your grand-grand-grand grandpa. That girl told him she wanted to be a student and bless the school, she was Miss Kamino over there." he pointed at her "As it turned out, she was not a normal person. The school prospered and started to grow. The girl graduated and left. Twenty years later she returned and she looked the same way. This time she asked to be a teacher. At first your grand-grand-grand grandpa didn't agree, he demanded to know what really she was. No normal person would look the same after 20 years. She then revealed him her secret, she was actually a god, a real god, the god of cooking to be exact. He didn't belive her but then she transformed into an adult woman in front of his eyes. She made him promise to tell no one what he saw that day. After that the cycle continued she would come, study, leave for a few decades and leave again. Every principal of Tootsuki has been told about her when they took the position. Do you understand why I called you now?"

=== End flashback ===

"Really, it was so long ago. I shoud tell Erina some day, if she takes over Tootsuki." he said to himself.

The next day all first years got into the busses and left...

'WOW! That guy was kicked out because of his hairgel. Hehe, this year will be so much fun!' (Ryouko)

=== First day ===

Ryouko POV

'Let's see...' I looked at our programs while walking down the hote's hall. 'We have cooking with Mr. Veggie peach. After that lunch and 1 hour free time for me specially~. Another boring assignment and a 50 serving task before dinner.'

Unlike the other students I have a book with the full program. The surprize events and the special dinner at the end are in here too. I tuned at a corner and entered the kitchen we were going to use. Mr. Veggie peach was waiting. I was the last to enter, only 30 seconds before the official start.

"It seems you made it just before I 'fired' you. You shure have good luck." he said proudly.

"It's not luck, it's called punctuality." I put the program in my pocked and got ready. 'Like I'll fall for the petty agitation by a little boy that's been stuck for more than a year. Hehehe.'

He handed us the reccets. It was his famous 9 coloured vegan thingy. 'I don't even need to remember it's name. He clearly knows this isn't a dish for first years to prepare, he's going to cut down a LOT of people with potential. But seriously, I hate his smug look and how he is so proud with this dish of his. I would have put some meat in if it was me but... shall I tease him?'

After he announced the start everyone rushed and pushed to get the best products. 'What fools, you'll only make mistakes if you rush things so much. Also...that guy put traps among the products?! I DECIDED! I'll teas him! He plans to krush even those that can pass the exam?! I don't think so!'

I waited for the others to finish and calmly picked the vegetables. I didn't pay any attention to the look or quality, I even took the wors quality cauliflower on purpose. I felt he was secretly smirking. 'You think I'm so easy to get rid of? HA! Prepostrous! Even the vatican couldn't get rid of me when I decided to cause trouble for them during the 1500s!'

I went to my cooking table and started. I cut off the non edible parts and cut the vegetables. I put one big pot filled with water on the stove and waited for the water to start boiling. After that I dumped all the vegetables in and closed the lid. Those near me looked at me with faces that told: 'Is she FKIN crazy?!'

I did all the other preparations while the vegetables were boiling. It migh have looked like I didn't care but I cared. I put in a bit of effort in it, just to piss Mr. Veggie peach off. Just my presence alone can make the food taste better and be of higher quality. Instead of ridiculing me those near me should be kneeling and thanking me for benefitting from my presence. It was time to take the vegetables out. I poured the hot water in the sink and dumped the vegetables in a big, shallow bowl. If someone paid attention, they would see all the vegetables are separated from the other kinds instead of beong one big mishmash. That's one of my magic cooking skills. I used magic to separate the vegetables in different areas inside the pot and controlled the temperature for each kind to be cooked perfectly. My magic even cleansed the cauliflower! I soon finished the final preparation steps, arranged the vegetables in the needed form and decorated the plate with the sauce. I was the second to finish the dish. I went to Mr. Veggie peach and presented him the plate. He didn't even taste it, he just stood up and looked at me.

"Although it's surprizing it looks good, this is a falure. You are fired!"

Everyone looked at me.

"You haven't even tried it, sir." I smiled slyly, knowing he'll fall in my trap "It looks how it's supposed to, it smells good, maybe even better than yours. Can you really say it's a falure or are you afraid to taste it? You are afraid I'll pass, right?!" I pointed accusingly at him.

All the students gasped. They were probably thinking 'Now she's done it. She pissed him off.' or 'Damn her! if he fails us all because of her, she'll pay!'

Mr. Veggie peach fell in my trap, now there was no escape!

"Hmph. I'll try it if you want so much." he took a fork and a knife. He slowly cut a piece, took a bit of the sauce and put it in his mouth. He was expecting something bad but the moment he tasted it, his eyes almost popped out. He quickly devoured the rest, after he was done, the plate was all clean, a drop of sauce wasn't even left. He then realised what he had done. With a shocked expression he looked from the plate, to me, to the plate again.

'How is this possible, for me to lose composure like that just because of food? How can hers be so delicious? It IS my dish but it has a lot more flavor and it was so light! I feel like I can eat a thousand more and not be full! Just how did she manage it?!'

"Y-y-you...ppass." he stuttered out.

I smirked and sneered at him.

"See? I told ya! You were afraid of the truth~" I took my stuff and left.

The class looked at me while I was leaving. After I got out I went to have lunch. I had more than a hour of free time 'cause I finished early. There was no one in the dining room. I made my lunch, a simple fried rice with sessame seeds, chese, onion, butter and chicken. I sat in a hidden corner, not wanting an incident to repeat itself again.

=== Mini flashback ===

Ryouko sat in Tootsuki's cafeteria. She had made herself a lunch at home. When she sat on a table, she opened the box and started eating. A girl from her class came to her.

"Ooh, Ryouko-chan, that looks delish. Can I have some too?"

Without waiting she took a piece of tamagoyaki and ate it. She stood frozen after that. The gir's friends became curious, they also came and tried of Ryouko's lunch withou even asking her this time. They also stood frozen for a bit. The group of girls then said in unisson.

"So DELISH!"

It's better not to get in detail what happened next but there was a fight over the bento, resulting in thorn clothes, spilled food, hair being pulled off the scalp, scratches and ruined friendship for all eternity.

=== End ===

Just as I shuddered at the horrible memory the door opened. From there came two girls, one was Se-cha's granddaughter - Eri-chan, the other was her loyal puppy. What was her name again? Well, I'll call her Reddy like always.

'They are the firs students to finish, huh? Good for them.'

They went in the kitchen to cook their lunch. Ater a bit they came out and sat at a table in the middle of the room.

"Nakiri-sama, is something worrying you?"

"Yes, have you noticed? Someone had already cooked their lunch. This means someone finished earlier. I wonder, who might it be? As long as it's not that Yukihira, anyone's fine."

"Don't worry, Erina-same! I'm sure that guy can't beat you!"

Then it was followed by a romantic scene. I'm worried sometimes, althought indirectly, I'm something like the Nakiri family's ancestor. I even visited Se-chan when his son and granddaughter were born to congratulate him. Sometimes I think Eri-chan might be into girls instead of guys. Oh, you must be wondering how they haven't noticed me. Firstly, I sit at a far corner that's well hidden, secondly, another of my skills is to make people not notice me. I can flach a middle finger at a man and then kick him between the legs without he even senses me. I finished eating and went out. I walked around outside of the hotel untill ut was time to go back. After the little assignment came time for the 50 servings challenge! Seriously, those bodybuilders were RIPPED! I barely resisted the urge to go there and start tende-AHEM- squeezing their muscles. Sorry, bad habbit from the past.

'After I'm done, I'll go and ask them if I can take some pictures.'

The task was easy, at least for me. The amount was problematic however. I made 5 portions at once. If I had pot and frying pan big inough, I would have made 10 potions in one go. I finished quickly, not first but it was still fast, considering I put no effort whatsoever. Before going to bed I took the pictures. Those guys were nice, I have more than 10 with me posing with them.

=== Second day ===

Ryouko's POV

Today we went to a different hotel. It was a bit smaller, surrounded by greenery and a realy large fence. Today we were with the Kakino lady. As we were entering the hotel I noticed a lot of ingredients just growing or moving all around the fenced area. Even by the sidewalk I saw a few carrots growing among the poppies. We entered a kitchen a bit after.

'It's strange, there is only oil, cooking appliances and spice...AH! I get it! We'll probably catch our ingredients.' I nodded my head lightly for how smart I am. Well, it expected afer living for-oops! I almost spilled the beans. A lady's age is secret!

The Kakino lady split us in pairs and told us to look for the ingredients ourselves. I was put together with a guy nameg Yamoto.

"OK. I'll go search for ingredients in the north, you go to the south! That way we'll save time!" he then ran out, leaving me behind. How stupid. You are so nervous, you don't know what to search for.

I calmly walked out. Firstly I went and pulled out the carrots I saw, after that I just strolled around. I saw some cabbage, took it, I also saw some sweet potatos growing near the fence. 'Oh, lucky! There's almond tree and a chicken nest in the bushes under it! One bullet, three rabbits. ' In just 40 minutes I got all I needed and returned. That fool was still gone.

'I'll start preparing the ingredients then.'

I washed the potatos, carrots, cabbage, eggs and berries. If you wonder, it was a berry bush under the tree. I put the almonds in the oven to bake. Peeld the carrots and the ptatos, cutting out the spoiled and inedible barts. I cut the carrot to circles, then other interesting shapes. i had gotten a sudden inspiration for this, moreover lady Kakino was nice, excluding some -ahem- things... I cut the cabbage into thin flakes and seasonef in with rice vinegar and soy sauce, I put the carrots with it in a bowl and stirred well, I decided to add some salt a bit after. I left them to stay like that for a while, after all both carrots and cabbage have a sweet taste, I had to remove it. In the meantime I grated the sweet potatos andsqeezed the water out of them. The almonds were already baked, i took them out, put them on a cloth, tied it into a bundle and then crished all the almonds with a rolling pin. Put the crushed almonds in the grated sweet potatos, mashed the berries and put them in. I stirred it well and tried a bit.

'Hmm...It needs a bit more shugar.'

I put shugar and stirred again. I took out two frying pans and a bottle of oil. I put them on the stoves and poured oil in them. A few of the other students started coming the oil started to bubble I broke the two eggs into the pan on my left, sqeezed the water that had formed from the cabbage and carrots, and put them in with the eggs. I starter to stir it constantly, I continued untill the eggs were well fried and the vegetables were a bit crispy but not dry. I turned the stove off and left it in the pan for a while. In the frying pan on my right I poured the sweet potato, almond and berry mix. This pan was a lot more deep and had a lot of oil in it, the oil was finaly ready. I made 3 patties from the mixture ans gently put them in the boiling oil. Some time later I turned them over. A bit more and they were ready. I quickly took them out and placed them on a paper towel. It absorbed the excess oil left on them. I put the fryed vegetables and eggs in a plate, decorated with soy sauce. The three patties were put in another plate with some powdered shugar I made utilizing a small blender (there are those blenders for shugar, you know, put crystal shugar, turn it on, take out powdered shugar) . i sprinkled it on top of the patties. Put the two plates on a tray and finally added a small cup of berry juice. I didn't mention it but the patties needed to be as dry as possible, so I removed the juice after mashing the berries.

'Looks like my idiotic partne's not here, yet. I'll give the food to lady Kakino before it gets cold.'

I gave her the tray "Bon apetit!" ("Oh, merci konfu! Mexicanian." - Shrek Joke inserted. Don't blame me, I watched shrek in Bulgarian, no English)

"Ooh, how interesting. What is this?"

Looks like lady Kakino was interested.

"It's Dream fried vegetables and eggs, Sweet potato patties and Berry juice." I answered with a bit of pride.

"Itadakimasu." She first tried the fried vegetables and eggs "Ooh, the eggs is well fried and fluffy, the cabbage is crispy but not dry, the same for the carrots. Moreover the carrots are cut in interesting shapes, also you have removed the sweetnes that comes from cappage and carrots, this is simply amazing!"

The other students listened to her evaluation of my dish. Some even discussed how my 'partner' wasn't here. She continued.

Next were the patties. She cut a small piece and blew on it because it was hot. She put it in her mouth and chewed. "MMM! It's so tasty, sweet and juicy! The outside is fried and crispy while the inside is soft and at the same time crunchy because of the almonds. Simply a unique dish! You know, you are the second student to make a fried dish. Let's see the juice now." She sipped from the juice and closed her eyes, smiling brightly, pleased by the dish. "Miss Kamino, you pass! As for your 'partner', " her aura became demonic "he'll have to cook me something else in order to pass."

I was unfazed, unlike the students, I have seen real-life demons and monsters that were scarier. "OK. See you later teach!" I left quickly after.

Later was another 50 servings chalenge. The next few days were 'boring' as I would say, but hell for the students, well.. for most of them.

=== Late night ===

We were called in the middle of the night. The others didn't know why but I knew. We were going to make a dish and serve it in the morning to the hote's guests and some others. The "200 Servings Challenge!" Of course I promised Se-chan not to tell anyone. The only mystery was the main ingredient. From what I heard it was chosed randomly by drawing every year.

Suddenly the projectors shone on the stage amd Muscle-man came. From what I remember, he was the 1st seat of the Elite Ten.

"Your task is to make a dish of your own and serve 200 plates! The main ingredient is eggs! You can either go to sleep or work on your recipes tonight. The time of the test is in the morning, good luck!" he then left.

'I'll make crispy egg tubes with cheese and chaviar filling. I'm going to sleep now. If I wake at 6, I'll have more than enough time.'

- The next morning -

There were a lot of tired and sighing teens in the kitchen. I was assigned a table in the last hall. My working place was in a lone corner.

'Thanks a lor Se-chan!' I thanked before starter working.

I beat the eggs in a big bowl and put four frying pans on the stoves. As I waited for the oil to be hot enough I prepared the filling. Chaviar, the most cheap and normal kind I could find in the kitchen and cheese mix. It's made from cream chese, goat chese and yellow chese. I stirred well, the chaviar had to be as evenly spread in the mixture as possible. The oil was ready. I fried thin pancakes from the eggs. After four were ready I put more eggs in the pans and filled the steaming, burning hot egg pancakes with the cheese mixture, then folded it into a tube shape. The cheese got soft ant started to melt. As the tubes were cooling down so was the cheese. It hardened and kept the tubed strainght and nicely held the folded ends together. I continued untill I had 200 tubes. I had some excess left so I made 3 more for myself. I left the tubes out in a nice display in front of me. As I sat there and ate my breakfast Muscle-man appeared on the large LCD TV hanging from the ceiling. He announced the beggining as a large countdown appeared. We had 2 hours.

'No problem. I'll manage.' I said to myself and sipped some orange juice.

In the hall I was there were 4 more students other than me. We were those for which was no place left in the other halls, so we were put here. As people came in they seemed to overlook, even completely ignore my place.

- Timeskip -

There were only 20 minutes to the end. No one had come to try my dish. Nevertheless I was calm. Although the others had sold a lot of plates, the largest number being 175, I knew they would loose because a 'customer' had finally come to me. A woman in buisness clothes and short skirt with red hair came to me.

"What are those?"

"Egg tubes with cheese and chaviar filling."

"Hmm. Sounds interesting but seeing it is no wonder none has been taken." she took a tube and took a bite. Suddenly her eyes shot open. She looked at the tubes like a hungry tiger. Without a word she started devouring the tube in her hand, then took another one and did the same. A young man noticed this, he also came and tried a tube. He started doing the same. Then more and more people came, interested in what was happening. In 8 minutes there was a crowd in front of me.

It was a WAR! People were pushing eachother, pulling clothes and reaching to take cheese filled tubes like their life depended on it. Just like Tootsuki's bento incident. In 15 minutes was announced:

"Kamino Ryouko - 200 servings complete!"

There were only 3 minutes left. Every other student in the hall paled. No one had looked at them after the egg tube craze, they failed.

The same evening we had dinner made specially for us. For once I was glad someone cooked for me. We were driven back to Tootsuki the next morning. Thankfully this time I made sure I won't participate and watch how everyone competes in the Curry cookoff! What? I have no place there! I hate to be on stage in this kinf of competitions. Around 78 years ago I decided to participate, after a TON of nagging form a friend. It didn't end well. I was insnantly promoted as a 1st seat in the Elite ten. Given a lot of work and also completely crushed the spirit of many. Sigh... so many promising cooks gave up on cooking because of me... From then on I never participated, ever again. By the way, the time I participated, the theme was Pasta.