Light me up (Birdy) – Episode 15
Jackson has had a hard time trying to deal with the consequences of his declaration of love for April at her wedding. Matthew had walked out on April before she'd answered and April had disappeared in tears. She was back at work and hadn't looked at him since, spending all her time working, or with Arizona. He'd been busy avoiding Stephanie and dealing with issues at the hospital. The one time he'd tried to talk to April she'd pushed him away and Arizona had sent him on his way saying something about her not being ready to talk yet.
It had been a busy and excruciating day in the office. Not in the theater but in the office, dealing with paperwork and the pressures of the trust questioning his ability to run the hospital. Damn them all to hell he thought I deserve this drink!
He rubbed his forehead trying to iron out the crease that had been there all day. Am I falling apart he wondered to him-self? How can I keep myself together? How can I put things right? But most of all how can I keep turning up to work when I feel this bad?
A soft knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Jackson frowned and placed his glass of scotch on the kitchen bench.
Its April standing in his doorway in a caramel coloured coat her red hair cascading around her face looking totally gorgeous. Jackson breathes in the sight of her and exhales. He moves away from the opened door to let her in but she doesn't move.
Tears start to form in her eyes and his heart breaks at the sight of her. This is his fault and he feels that in every part of his body as it aches in pain with her. A tear trickles down her face and it takes every inch of him to hold himself back and not wipe the tear away and hold her in his arms.
"You never said you loved me until that day" she manages to say before she loses it on his doorstep in a flood of tears.
He helps her inside, takes her coat and sits her down on one of his soft chairs. He pours her a drink and she takes it gratefully. He sits opposite her with a table between them, feeling the agony of the space between them but knowing that he must do this right.
"I was" he stammers and rubs his forehead again "stupid". "I was totally stupid".
She looks away from him. He melts at her profile, god she's beautiful, god he loves her and his heart misses a beat at the thought that she might feel the same, otherwise why would she be here?
"What do you mean?" she asks with a frown.
"Oh god, April no, not stupid saying that I loved you". He shakes his head and stands up and walks around the room. "I have no idea why I couldn't see it before", he says, "I finally found my heart, but it took you nearly being married to someone else for me to find it". He winches at the thought of her being with someone else. She can't be with anyone but him. "Like I said, I love you April" he says sitting back down. "Like I said, I always have".
She tilts her head and smiles and lets out a sign of what sounds like relief. He gets up again and walks over to her, not baring the distance between them. All his worries of the day release and are forgotten at the sight of her, and her smile. She's always done that to him, put his feet on the ground, made him feel like there is only the here and now and that nothing else matters.
"You can't imagine what I've been going through without you April, for all this time, all this time without you, I've been living in darkness and not knowing it".
"I love you Jackson" April says quickly, and looks away "but this is such a mess".
He moves closer to her and tenderly pulls her face to his looking into her beautiful green eyes. "I love you too", he says, smiling broadly. "This is not a mess, you are here with me, you are telling me that you love me, and that's all I care about".
She smiles up at him and bites her bottom lip. He places both hands on either side of her face and kisses her gently. She responds immediately and all his fears are forgotten and he drowns in the taste of her as they kiss each other over and over again. Finally he moves back and kisses her forehead. She starts to unbutton his shirt but he stops her.
"Not until we're married", he says slowly. She exhales sharply and shakes her head. "No way! I can't wait that long Jackson. Please!"
She moves to him but he shakes his head and stops her. He kneels on the carpet in front of her and takes her hands in his.
"April Kepner it would do me a great honor if you would become my wife. Will you marry me?"
April kneels in front of him and nods her head, "Yes, yes, yes, of course I will but can we marry this weekend".
Jackson laughs "That's what I was going to suggest". He gathers her into his arms and kisses her with full passion now. Oh god, I love this woman he thinks to himself. He knows it now, and he'll never be so stupid again.
"Thank you", she says.
He holds her hips and moves back. "For what?" he asks eying her carefully.
"For telling me you loved me, and especially for loving me".
Jackson smiles and sucks in his bottom lip. "No problem" he says. His heart feels like it will explode. He holds her hand and leads her to the bedroom. "Just because we are going to wait doesn't mean we can't do other things" he says with eyes shining at her as he unbuttons her blouse.
"No more sex April, we make love for the rest of our lives after this weekend. Just you and me". April smiles knowingly and slowly nods her head, "Just you and me" she says.
Thank-you for reading. This couple has inspired my first expedition into writing please comment constructively. Thank you