Newt looked at his hands, mapping his scars, his freckles, lost in his thoughts.

Leta was dead.

Queenie was gone.

A war was coming.

How could everything have turned so wrong in such a short time?

He could feel pain and sorrow radiating from his brother like waves of grief. He didn't know what to say, he wasn't a man of words, he wasn't found of displays of affection, but in this case, he had surprised himself by hugging Theseus every time his brother's eyes brimmed with tears.

He was asleep now, Jacob was sleeping as well, Tina was at the ministry, and Newt had fled to the safety of his case, to try to process everything that had happened in the last hours. Around him, his beasts were looking at him curiously, not used to see him so defeated.

Newt tried to smile to reassure them, but he failed and sighed, dropping his head so that his disheveled hair hided his face.

He didn't know how he felt, and at the same time, he felt too much. Far too much for someone who was used to keep people at arm length, far too much for someone as sensitive as him.

In all this pain, all the anger and cruelty, one thing was keeping him from running away to the other side of the world. One person, actually. One person who had turned his world upside down with her kindness, her strength, her smile.

Tina.

His heart twisted painfully, thinking of how she must be hurting, of how much time he had lost by trying to go to New York without breaking the law. He should have gone illegally like he had gone to France. He had wanted to keep a low profile after all that happened in New York, Tina was an Auror, law was basically her job, he didn't want to disappoint her or to get her into trouble.

But now… Now, she was seeing that Auror and he hated it. He wasn't used to feel hatred. He wasn't used to jealousy. He wasn't used to be in love.

He knew it was inappropriate to dwell on his feelings with a war coming and people grieving, but he couldn't help it. He had been fascinated by Tina from the very first day they met. She was so fierce, and loyal, and funny, and stunningly beautiful. She had burst through his defenses with her dimples, her laugh, her big brown smiling eyes, and he was helplessly in love with her. It was ridiculous, considering that they had known each other for less than six months, but he was pretty sure that the feeling making his knees weak was love. He had never felt that way before, he had never felt such an overwhelming need to be with someone, to protect, and to love, and to watch that someone. It was almost painful, surely delirious and completely new. It was nothing like how he had felt about Leta.

Leta.

She was… She had been a complicated woman, but she had been his friend and his future sister in law, and he couldn't bare the raw pain he could see in his brother's eyes.

It wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to marry Theseus, and Newt would have had a panic attack before saying a few words for the newlyweds, he would have invited Tina, and they would have danced and he would have kissed her maybe…

He snorted. He was barely able to look at her in the eye. How could he compete with a tall handsome Auror? He had never met that Achille Whatever, but all Aurors were tall and handsome and had broad shoulders. And he was just Newt awkward Scamander.

A war was coming and Tina was going to fight, and she was seeing another man, and Queenie was gone and Leta was dead and Jacob was heartbroken, and Theseus was drowning in his grief.

It was so wrong.

Tina was going to fight. And he was terrified.

He had seen those Aurors dying, he knew that Grindelwald was going to target them, and he knew that Tina had a target on her back for having dueled him in New York.

His hands started shaking and he had to clench his fists.

"Newt?"

He swallowed his tears and turned to face Tina. Her eyes were red, and she seemed hesitant.

"You… Can I sit with you?"

He nodded. She had been with President Picquery and the Minister of Magic debriefing all night. She was exhausted. She let herself fall next to Newt in the grass. Picket was in Newt's hair, probably trying to comfort him.

"How are you doing Newt? "

You need a giver

Tina was more than a giver. She was more than words could describe. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

" I… I'm so sorry for Leta… I know she meant a lot for you…"

She was looking at her feet, fighting back tears and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms. But he was Newt awkward Scamander.

"She meant more to my brother… And… You… You just lost Queenie…"

He glanced at her as she closed her eyes and took a shaky break.

"I'm so sorry Tina…"

He wanted to take her hand, to kiss her tears away.

"She's alive… She's alive and… Oh Newt!"

She burst into tears and his eyes widened, panicked and hurting for her. He felt Picket pulling at his hair, and he tentatively put an arm around her trembling shoulders.

"I pushed her away, Newt, it's my fault, I pushed her away, I was supposed to be there for her, and I was just so preoccupied with the laws, the rules, I forgot about her happiness! I'm an awful person, she's my baby sister, and now, and now…"

"Tina, how could you, how… Tina, don't you see? You're not a horrible person! You care about the law because it's your job, because the world needs people like you, be… because you wanted to… to protect her. I saw the postal card you sent her, you didn't push her away…"

She shook her head, sobbing in his shoulder and he tightened his arm around her.

"Tina, you're so… so kind and caring, she'll come around, and… and she'll be fine, she's a legilimens, and good one, she'll be fine…"

She had to be fine.

Tina raised her head and looked at him, her eyes searching his. He felt self-conscious but fought not to look away.

Her eyes were puffy and teary, her face was red, and Newt thought that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"I'm so angry…" she whispered, never breaking eye contact.

"It's okay to be angry… " he whispered back.

She raised a hand to touch his jaw and he froze, his head spinning with the contact of her fingers on his skin.

"She's wanted, I tried to convince them that she wasn't a criminal but… but they wouldn't listen… She's wanted and I'm an Auror, what am I supposed to do? She's my sister and I'll have to arrest her, I raised her, I love her just so much… They wanted to remove me from the case and to send me to the front, there are fights between Grindelwald followers and Aurors…"

He tried very hard not to panic at the idea of her in a battlefield. She couldn't leave, she just couldn't. Words escaped his mouth before he even realized he had opened his mouth.

"I don't want you to go… You… You see… I… I need you…"

She wiped her tears, keeping one hand on his jaw and looking at him with so much tenderness he would have been happy to spend the rest of his life just sitting there with her.

"You need me?"

Her voice wavered slightly. Mesmerized by her eyes, he couldn't say a word, so he nodded instead.

"I'm not going for now… "

"Well… It's a relief… I… I would have been worried about your safety… I know you're strong and… and an excellent Auror… But I would have been worried…"

She looked at him with an expression he couldn't understand.

"Worry means you suffer twice…" she replied with a smile.

"The wizard who told you that didn't… didn't realize that caring that much about someone was…like that…"

They smiled softly at each other.

"I convinced them to let me work on the case, with you and your brother, and Jacob, thanks to your minister…"

She dropped her hand and he tried not to look disappointed.

"I will find her…" she said fiercely, "I won't stop until I bring her back…"

He stared at her in awe. He was so lucky to know her. She glanced at him.

"You didn't answer… How are you doing?"

He looked away, focusing on mooncalves playing with Dougal.

"I don't know… There are too many things… Too many… feelings…"

"You need time to process… Do… Do you need to be alone?"

She avoided his eyes, looking insecure.

"No! Don't go, no, Tina…I just… I'm not used to all of this, it's overwhelming and it will take time to sort it all…"

She nodded. There were so many things he wanted, he needed to tell her.

"I wanted to come back to New York… Legally… It had been denied, five times…"

She bit her lips, embarrassed.

"I… I still have your book… The first one printed…"

"Newt… Thank you…"

"Does Achille love to read?" he blurted out without even knowing what he was saying.

He froze, mortified, blushing and stuttering.

"I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to… I mean, it isn't my business obviously… Bugger… You don't have to answer…"

She raised her eyebrows and almost smiled.

"I don't know… We had a few dates, and he… Well, let's say we talked mostly about work…"

A tall handsome broad Auror, who could talk with her about MACUSA's business. He didn't have a single chance to compete.

"It means nothing… We went out, but it means nothing… I was just trying to… I was angry and… I… I prefer talking about books… and fantastic beasts…"

He stared at her, not sure to understand, not daring to hope. Did she really mean what he thought she was meaning?

"I missed you…" she whispered.

Maybe she did.

"I missed you too… "

He wanted to tell her so many things. That he wanted to take her as far away from danger as possible, that he trusted her but needed her safe, that he loved her.

But a war was coming, and they were grieving.

"What are we going to do now?"

"What do you think about visiting Hogwarts?"

ooooOOOOoooo

Bunty wasn't stupid, despite what her mother said. She knew that Newt didn't like her the way she loved him. So deeply that it was worth letting the kelpie munch at her arm if it meant having Newt noticing her.

She had seen the picture in his case, of course she had seen it. The witch, the Auror, was pretty, but she was far away, on the other side of the ocean, and they were no longer writing to each other, and even if Newt was fighting to go back to New York, she hoped that with time and patience, he would realize that Bunty and him were meant to be together.

All these hopes came crashing down that early morning, when she found herself thrown against a wall with a gasp, a wand under her nose, and that very same witch glaring at her.

It was just unfair. She was tall, and powerful, and prettier in real.

"Who are you?" Tina growled threateningly, pushing her wand against the assistant throat.

"Tina? Tina! Are you alright, I heard…"

Newt came stumbling in the hallway of his house. He stopped, his eyes wide, astonished at the scene before his very eyes. It took him a few seconds to react.

"Tina! It's okay! She's my assistant!"

Tina glanced between Bunty and him, then finally lowered her wand and took a step back, still tense.

"I'm sorry… I heard someone, I thought… I'm sorry… I'm Tina Goldstein…"

She extended her hand and Bunty was just on the verge of tears. This woman, this Tina, was wearing Newt's pajamas. The yellow ones, his favorites. And Bunty felt betrayed. This woman had hurt him, he had been sad because of her, and yet, here she was, as if he belonged to her, and Newt… Newt was looking at the Auror the way he was supposed to look at her! With love, and longing, and admiration.

She shook weakly the hand extended while Tina was smiling kindly at her. Why did she have to be kind?

"Bunty, let me introduce you to Tina, an Auror from MACUSA… Tina, this is Bunty, my assistant… Bunty, I sent you a note to give you a few days off…"

Tina saw the young woman blushing. She felt guilty to have scared her, but when she had heard the front door slowly opening while she was in the kitchen, she had had to act. She couldn't forget Grindelwald threats toward Newt, and she was terrified that some of his men were going to come after him. They had left Hogwarts at almost midnight, Theseus had left to the Ministry, despite Newt's protests, Jacob had gone to sleep and Newt had offered her his room while he went to sleep in his case. But, judging by the deep dark circles under their eyes, none of them had had a good night.

"Nice to meet you…" Bunty mumbled. "I… I just wanted to check on you…"

"That's nice, but you should leave…" Newt said without really looking at her, and turning to leave the room.

Usually, his dismissals didn't hurt her, she was used to hiw awkwardness and she loved him for that, but right now, with this woman standing there and wearing his pajamas, it felt like a slap in the face.

"And she's staying?"

The words left her mouth before she even realized it. Newt froze, his shoulders tense, and Tina looked embarrassed.

"Tina is my…. My friend… She's my guest…"

"Oh… Of course, I'm sorry, I…"

"Newt, maybe she could help, I have to leave in a few hours, I received an owl from your brother…"

Bunty hated her. She didn't have the right to be that kind, not when she was stealing Newt away uncaringly. Newt turned back to face her, concern obvious in his eyes.

"I'll be fine Newt, just… Be safe… "

"The house is protected… You… You be safe… Please…"

They were lost in each other's eyes, oblivious to the turmoil the young assistant was going through..

Tina finally nodded and turned to Bunty.

"It was nice to meet you…"

Bunty didn't answer; she couldn't answer, not when her heart was breaking.

Newt would never love her.

ooooOOOOoooo

Tina rubbed her temples, trying hard not to scream in frustration. The British Ministry and MACUSA were fighting about the strategy to adopt regarding Grindelwald, each side blaming the other for his escape and for what happened in Paris. She wanted to shout at them, to tell them how their stupid argument was pointless, when so many lives were lost, when a war was coming, when her little sister was gone.

Theseus caught her eyes.

"Sorry…" he mouthed.

She shrugged and smiled tentatively.

Both officials finally decided to postpone the meeting, to allow each side to have some rest and to cool down before meeting again in the evening.

She stood cracking her neck, when Theseus came to her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked cautiously.

He sighed.

"I don't know to be honest… They keep arguing like an old couple, they seem to forget that a war is coming…"

"I wasn't talking about that… Newt is worried about you…"

They were the only ones left in the meeting room. Theseus closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"Newt doesn't do worrying…" he finally said.

Tina chuckled darkly.

"Except he does… And honestly, I can't blame him…"

Theseus observed her for a while, making her shift from a foot to another.

"He had never looked at L…at her like he looks at you, you know…"

Well, that was unexpected. She felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment, this wasn't the place or the moment to talk about what was or wasn't between Newt and her.

"He tried so hard to go back to New York, you know, he applied five times, and got angrier each time… He's consumed by you…"

"We… We're friends…" she sputtered unconvincingly.

Theseus shook his head.

"You have to understand… Newt is a straightforward man… When he loves… He does it completely, and there isn't a thing he couldn't do for the people he loves…"

Like taking the blame for something he never did… she thought bitterly.

"He's not good with words, so he acts instead… What I mean is that I've never seen him like that…"

People change… I changed… She didn't need him to change, he was just perfect the way he was… But maybe sometimes, change was necessary to move forward.

"A war is coming, and you're an Auror… I wish I could ask you to leave, because I know how…. How losing the woman you love feels… And…"

He took a deep breath.

"And I don't want my little brother to go through that… If he loses you, I know I would lose him, and I just… I can't…"

He stopped to gather himself. Tina didn't know what to say. She didn't even know for sure if Newt shared the same feelings, and yet, his brother was talking as if he did…

"I know you'll fight when you have to, I respect that… And I know how skilled you are…" he added with a smirk.

"Yeah… About that…" she said nervously.

"It's okay… Just… Just don't waste time… You never know when things are going to be taken from you…"

ooooOOOOoooo

"Newt, hey Newt!"

"Right here Jacob!"

The baker came to a stop when he saw Newt sitting at his desk, books scattered around him.

"What are you doing?"

His wand behind his ear, Newt closed the book he was reading to open another one.

"Some researches…" he mumbled before looking up at him.

"How are you feeling?"

Jacob shrugged helplessly.

"Like all of this was a bad dream… I keep expecting her to pass the door with her smile and her laugh…"

His voice caught and he wiped his eyes.

"I'm sorry Jacob…"

"We'll get her back…" Jacob said fiercly. "What are you looking for in those books?" he added, obviously trying to change the subject.

Newt didn't answer and turned back to his desk.

"Is it something your famous teacher asked you to find?"

Newt glanced at him.

"Maybe…"he said slowly.

"Do Tina and your brother know?"

"Sort of…"

Jacob took a seat and waited. When Newt didn't acknowledge him, he spoke.

"So, an assistant, hum?"

"I needed someone to look after my creatures while I was gone… "Newt answered absently.

"Yeah, it does make sense… How did Tina react?"

Newt froze, his hands clenching his book, and blinked at his friend, unsure.

"She was very friendly?"

"Did you talk to her?"

"To Bunty?" Newt asked, confused.

Jacob resisted the urge to shake his friend.

"To Tina… Did you tell her how much you missed her? That you came to Paris for her…"

Newt snorted.

"We were kind of busy…"

Then, after a silence. Newt closed the book, hesitant.

"She liked it…" he finally whispered.

"What?"

"The salamander eyes… She liked it"

He blushed but couldn't stop the dreamy smile curving his lips. Jacob laughed and slapped his back.

"Queenie was so right, you're made for each other! I'm happy for you pal!"

Newt smiled tentatively and took back his book.

He had to find a way to end the war brewing. It was the only way to protect the people he loved.

ooooOOOOoooo

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