AN: So, I am rewriting every single episode of Buffy, with one slight change – Jenny Calendar (killed off in Passion, season 2 episode 17) will be in every single one. Don't like it, don't read it. That simple. If you do like it, I would also suggest that you start out by reading the first three rewritten episodes, before you read this. This is the 4th epiosde rewritten for season one. In the summaries S#E# represents what season and episode the story takes place. It would be best if you went in order - I guarantee you will be lost unless you go episode by episode.

In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

At the Bronze, a girl was screaming. A vampire was advancing on Buffy as she backed into a pole. She threw a solid right to his face followed by a left. The vampire wasn't fazed, and he grabbed her and threw her onto a pool table. He leaned over her to bite.

Xander came up behind the vampire, grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him off of Buffy. "May I cut in?" He bashed the vampire's head onto the pool table, turned him around and punched him in the gut and the face. The vampire fells to the floor, unconscious. Buffy was impressed and gave him a big smile. Xander offered her his hand to help her off of the pool table. "You alright?"

Buffy exhaled. "Thanks to you!" She slid off of the table and noticed Xander's hand. "You hurt your hand! Will you still be able to..."

"...finish my solo and kiss you like you've never been kissed before?" He gaves her a wink and started back to the stage. The vampire gots back up and growled at Buffy. Xander saw him, broke the leg off of a chair that had been knocked over and threw the makeshift stake at the vampire. Buffy watched the stake fly into the vampire's chest, and he fell dead. She turned her gaze back on Xander. He jumped up onto stage and grabbed his guitar to continue his solo. Buffy looked up at him adoringly and advanced to the stage as he played.

"You're drooling," Buffy stated.

Xander gave her a confused look.

In the class it was dark because Dr. Gregory was giving a slide show.

"Xander!"

He woke up from his daydream and shook his head.

Buffy indicated the corner of her mouth. "You've got a little..."

He picked up on her gesture and quickly wiped the drool off of his mouth and chin.

Dr. Gregory taught, "Their ancestors were here long before we were. Their progeny will be here long after we are gone. The simple and ubiquitous ant." He turned off the projector, turned the lights on and began walking up the aisle. "Now. If you read the homework you should know the two ways that ants communicate." He stopped at Xander's lab table and leaned on it to face Buffy. "Miss Summers."

Buffy was right on the spot, "Ways that ants communicate."

Dr. Gregory nodded his head. "Mm."

"With other ants."

"From the homework." Behind him, Willow tried to get Buffy's attention. "Ants are communicating..."

Buffy saw Willow's signals. "Um, uh, uh..."

Willow stroked Xander's back, indicating 'touch'.

"Touch..."

Dr. Gregory nodded. "Mm-hmm."

"And, um..." She looked at Willow again. She was sniffing Xander, indicating, 'smell'. Buffy was confused. "B.O.?"

Several students laughed. Willow gave her a disappointed look.

"Thank God someone finally found the courage to mention that!" A male student by the name of Blayne hollered.

"That would be 'touch' and 'smell', Miss Summers. Is there anything else Miss Rosenberg would like to tell you?"

Willow quickly turned away in her seat. The bell rang.

Dr. Gregory started to move back to the front of the class. "Alright, chapters six through eight by tomorrow, people. " He stopped to look at Buffy. "Can I see you for a moment?"

Buffy nodded.

After the other students had left the room, Buffy leaned against a lab table.

Dr. Gregory idly reviewed his slides. "I gather you had a few problems at your last school?"

"Well, what teenager doesn't?"

"Cut school, get in fights, burn down the gymnasium... Principal Flutie showed me your permanent record." He walked to the front of the class, and Buffy followed him.

"Well, that fire, I mean, there was major extenuating circumstances. Actually, it's, uh, kinda funny!"

"Can't wait to see what you're gonna do here." He went to the closet, got his other glasses from his coat and cleaned them.

"Destructo Girl. That's me."

"But I suspect it's gonna be great."

"You mean, 'great' in a bad way?"

Dr. Gregory looked at her, then back at his glasses. "You have a first-rate mind and you can think on your feet. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually did the..."

"...the homework thing."

"The homework thing. I understand you probably have a good excuse for not doing it." He closed the closet and walked back to his lab table. "Amazingly enough, I don't care. I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear?"

"Yeah! Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, be smart." He looked at another slide. " And please don't listen to the principal or anyone else's negative opinion about you. Let's make 'em eat that permanent record. Whadaya say?" He looked up at Buffy and gave her a little smile.

She smiled back. "Okay! Thanks."

He nodded his head. She grabbed her bag.

"Chapters six through eight!"

Buffy looked back at him with a smile and left the classroom. Dr. Gregory put the slide down, went over to turn off the lights and came back to his slide-viewing plate. While he concentrated on the slides, the closet door opened. Dr. Gregory was concentrating on the slides. Behind him, a large, green mantis stood. A claw went around his neck. Dr. Gregory looked up behind him and screamed. The claw drug him off of his chair. His glasses hit the floor and broke, and an instant later so did he.

At the Bronze, the live band was Superfine, playing "Already Met You". Xander danced lamely through the crowd.

"The first date's the worst date / It's hard to know just what to do / And I take you to dinner / You don't eat, you just play with your food"

Xander was on the dance floor and looked around. He made his way to the stage and gave the singer an acknowledging nod and grin.

"And there's something familiar..."

The singer gave him a 'get outta here' look.

"About every word you say"

Xander was disappointed and moved away from the stage.

"It's hard to believe it's happened again / I already met you / And I already met you / You're like my last girlfriend / Yes, and the girlfriend I had before her"

Xander went over to the bar where Blayne and his friend were sitting.

"Seven, including Cheryl. I'll tell you, though, her sister was lookin' to make it eight!" Blayne gossiped.

"Ooo, Cheryl's sister? The one in college?" his friend asked.

Blayne nodded. "Home for the holidays and lookin' for love! She's not my type, though. Girls really gotta have something to go with me."

Xander interrupted, "Something like a lobotomy?"

The two looked at him.

"Xander. How many times you score?" Blayne asked.

"Well, uh..." None.

"It's just a question."

"Are we talking today, or the whole week?" Xander covered.

The two boys snickered. Xander spotted Buffy and Willow coming down the stairs.

"Ooo! Duty calls!" He left the bar and approached the girls as Blayne and his friend watched. "Babes!"

The girls looked back at him.

He came up to them with his arms wide open and grabbed them both around the shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked.

" Work with me here," Xander pleaded to Buffy. "Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual."

Willow threw her arms around him tightly. "We'll show him!"

Xander looked back at Blayne, gave him a thumbs up and put his arm back around Willow. The two boys seemed impressed.

Buffy got distracted. "I don't believe it."

"I know, and after all my conquests."

Buffy saw Angel and went over to him.

"Who's that?" Xander wondered.

"That must be Angel! I think?" Willow wasn't sure.

"That weird guy that warned her about all the vampires?"

"That's him, I'll bet you."

"Well, he's buff! She never said anything about him being buff!"

"You think he's buff?"

"He's a very attractive man! How come that never came up?"

Buffy approached Angel. "Well! Look who's here!"

"Hi."

"I'd say it's nice to see you, but then we both know that's a big fib."

"I won't be long."

"No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe, and then disappear into the night. Right?"

"You're cold."

"You can take it."

Angel took off his jacket. "I mean, you look cold." He put his jacket around her shoulders.

"Oh, right! Give her your jacket. It's a balmy night, no one needs to be trading clothing out there!" Xander wasn't too enthused.

"A little big on me. " Buffy noticed a series of cuts on Angel's arm. "What happened?"

"I didn't pay attention."

"To somebody with a big fork?"

"He's coming."

"The Fork Guy?"

"Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out."

"Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one. Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic!"

"I have to go." Angel left.

Buffy stared after him. "Sweet dreams to you, too."

In front of Sunnydale High the next morning, Buffy and Giles were walking along in front of the school.

Giles was eating an apple. "That's all he said? Fork Guy?"

"That's all Cryptic Guy said: Fork Guy."

"I think there are too many 'guys' in your life." He laughed.

They met Willow sitting on a bench.

"I'll see what I can find out. Get Jenny to help, too." Giles looked up at the sky. "God, every day here is the same."

"Bright, sunny, beautiful, how ever can we escape this torment? Come on, ask her out, already!" Buffy nudged his shoulder.

"Excuse me?" Giles nearly choked on a bite of his apple.

"We all know you want to," Willow stated helpfully.

"Are you blind, man?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, I mean, have you even seen the way Ms. Calendar looks at you?" Willow added.

Willow gave Buffy a smile. Buffy put her bag down and sat down next to her.

"Really..." Giles trailed off, in thought.

Xander came up behind Giles as he turned to leave. "Mornin'." He addressed the girls. "Guess what I just heard in the office? No Dr. Gregory today. Ergo, those of us who blew off our science homework aren't as dumb as we look." He reached down and flipped Willow's book closed. She had to stop it from sliding off of her lap.

"What happened, is he sick?" Buffy asked.

"They didn't say anything about sick, something about missing."

"He's missing?" Buffy asked.

"Well, let me think. Um, the cheerleaders were modeling their new short skirts, that kinda got... Yeah! Yeah, they said missing." Willow and Buffy exchanged a look. "Which is bad?"

"If something's wrong, yeah!" Buffy answered.

"He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon," Willow pointed out.

"I'm really sorry, I'm sure he'll..." He looked up and saw Miss Natalie French walking toward them. "I, uh, huh..." The girls looked to see what was distracting him. "Uh, huh... huh..."

Natalie walked right up to Xander, who just stared at her. "Could you help me?"

"Uuuuuuhhhhhh... Yes!"

Willow and Buffy gave each other amused looks.

"I'm looking for Science... 109."

"Oh! It's, um..." He looked around himself, trying to remember the way. He turned back to Natalie with a smile. "I go there every day!"

Natalie laughed.

Xander looked to the girls for help. "Oh, God, where is it?"

Willow and Buffy just shrugged.

Blayne appeared behind Natalie and introduced himself, "Hi! Blayne Mall. I'm going there right now. It's not far from the varsity field where I took All-City last year." He smiled smugly.

"Oh! Thank you, Blayne!" She and Blayne left.

Xander's gaze followed them for a moment, and then he turned back to Willow and Buffy. "It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to."

The girls nodded their heads and gave each other a smile.

Giles stood in front of Ms. Calendar's classroom, once again. He knocked on the door.

Ms. Calendar opened the door. "Hello, there. Do you need something?"

"I...um...just wanted to make sure you weren't missing," Giles said.

"Missing?" Ms. Calendar arched an eyebrow.

"Well, the uh...chemistry teacher, I believe, uh...Dr. Gregory, he's...um, missing. J-Just wanted to make sure..."

"And I'm obviously not missing, as you can see, so...you can go on back to your book cave."

Giles nodded and turned to leave. Minutes later, he returned.

"Yes?" Ms. Calendar asked curiously.

"I-I erm, seem to h-have...l-l-lost the library,"

Ms. Calendar folded her arms, amused. "Lost the library?"

Giles smiled sheepishly. "Y-Yes..."

"Sad. Come on, I'll show you." Ms. Calendar left her classroom to lead Giles to the library. She was certain that had just been an excuse to delay leaving, because if he'd truly lost the library, she'd be a little worried.

In the science class, Natalie was writing her name on the board. Buffy, Willow and Xander walked in. Buffy spotted Dr. Gregory's glasses on the floor and picked them up.

"What's wrong?" Willow asked.

"Dr. Gregory dropped his glasses... Why wouldn't he pick them up?" Buffy sat the glasses on the lab table and gave Natalie a glance as she walked to her stool.

Natalie faced the class. "My name is Natalie French, and I will be substituting for Dr. Gregory."

"Do you know when he's coming back?" Buffy asked.

"No, I don't, um-" She checked her roster. " Buffy. They just call and tell me where they want me."

"I'll tell you where I want you," Blayne stated in a low, quiet voice.

"Excuse me, Blayne?" Natalie had heard.

"Uh, I was just wondering if you were gonna pick up where Dr. Gregory left off."

Natalie smiled. "Yes. His notes tell me you were right in the middle of insect life." She picked up a mantis mounted in a clear plastic box. "The praying mantis is a fascinating creature. Forced to live alone. Who can tell me why? Buffy?" She put the mantis back down.

"Well, the words 'bug-ugly' kinda spring to mind."

There was lots of muffled laughter.

"There is nothing ugly about these unique creatures. The reason they live alone is because they're cannibals!"

"Eww!"

Everyone in the class looked disgusted.

"Oh, well, it's hardly their fault! It's the way nature designed them: noble, solitary and prolific. Over 1800 species worldwide, and in nearly all of them the female is larger and more aggressive than the male."

To Buffy, Blayne said, "Nothing wrong with an aggressive female."

Buffy angled her head and gave him a look.

Natalie picked up her notebook and started to walk around the room. "The California Mantis lays her eggs, and then finds a mate..." She looked at Xander. He stared back. "...to fertilize them. Once he's played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sack and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger. Now, if she's done her job correctly, in a few months she'll have several hundred offspring." She had made her way back to the front of the class and put down her notebook. "You know, we should make some model egg sacks for the science fair. Who would like to help me do that after school?" All the boys raised their hands. "Good!" Natalie was pleased.

In the cafeteria at lunch, Buffy, Willow and Xander were in line.

"Hot dog surprise. Be still, my heart," Buffy joked.

"Call me old-fashioned, I don't want any more surprises in my hot dogs."

"I wonder what she sees in me? It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism." Xander was in his own world, fantasizing about Natalie.

Willow raised her eyebrows at him. She turned to Buffy and they smiled.

"Miss French. You two're probably a little young to understand what an older woman would see in a younger man."

"Oh, I understand," Buffy replied.

"Good!"

"The younger man is too dumb to wonder why an older woman can't find someone her own age, and too desperate to care about the surgical improvements!"

Xander was taken aback. "What surgical improvements?"

"Well, he is young," Willow told Buffy.

"And so terribly innocent!"

"Hey, those that can, do. Those that can't laugh at those who... can do," Xander stated.

Blayne came up next to Xander, and got a lot of food. "Gotta carb up for my one-on-one with Miss French today. When's yours? Oh, right, tomorrow. You came in second, I came in first. Guess that's what they call natural selection." He left.

"Guess it's what they call a rehearsal!" To the girls, "Rehearsal... " He laughed lamely.

The girls smiled.

Buffy went over to get some utensils. As she walked back Cordelia came in through the exit and bumped into her.

"Excuse you!" Cordelia went behind the counter, and showed a piece of paper to the cafeteria workers. "Medically prescribed lunch. My doctor ships it daily... I'll only be here as long as I can hold my breath." She opened a refrigerator and screamed. Inside was a headless body. Buffy and Willow ran to see what was wrong. Cordelia backed away from the fridge. "His head! His head! Oh, my God, where's his

head?" She was hysterical.

Buffy and Willow arrived to see what was inside. Buffy stared in disbelief. Xander was close behind and had to look away when he saw. Willow looked squeamish. The name on the body's lab coat was 'Dr. Gregory'.

In the library, Ms. Calendar poured a glass of water. Giles brought it over to Buffy, who was sitting on the steps with Willow. Both girls had deeply sad looks on their faces. Buffy had been crying.

Giles handed the glass to Buffy. "Here. Drink this."

Buffy idly took the glass. "No, thank you." She took a sip anyway.

Xander was behind Giles. "I've never seen..." Giles looked back at Xander. Xander was shaken, "I mean, I've never seen anything like... That was new."

"Who would wanna hurt Dr. Gregory?" Willow wondered.

"Uh, he didn't have any enemies on the staff that I'm aware of. He was a civilized man. I liked him," Giles stated.

"So did I," Buffy replied.

Willow looked up at Giles. "Well, we're gonna find out who did this. We'll find them and we'll stop them."

"Count on it," Buffy added.

"What do we know?" Ms. Calendar asked. She got nearer to them.

"Oh, not a lot, um..." Buffy sniffed and wiped her nose. "He was killed here on campus. I'm guessing the last day we saw him."

"How do you work that out?" Giles asked.

"He didn't change his clothing."

"This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear," Xander began. "But... where did they put his head?"

"Good point. I didn't wanna hear that," Willow stated.

"Angel!" Buffy got up. "He warned me that something was coming." She took another sip of water as she walked over to the table.

"Yes. Yes he did, didn't he?" Giles thought aloud.

Ms. Calendar tilted her head to the side. "Angel?"

"Yeah," Buffy answered. "Kinda creepy guy who keeps popping up to warn me about things."

"I wish I knew what he meant. I've been trying to gather more information about the Master, our, uh, local vampire king. There was one oblique reference to a, a, a vampire who-"

Ms. Calendar finished his sentence. "Displeased the Master and cut his hand off in penance."

"Okay, you two have gotta stop finishing each other's sentences. It's creepy," Buffy stated. Then something occured to her. "Cut off his hand and replaced it with a fork?"

"We don't know what he replaced it with," Giles answered.

"So, why would he come after a teacher?" Xander asked.

" I'm not certain he did. There was an incident two nights ago..." He walked over to the counter and picked up newspaper, then returned with it. "...uh, involving a homeless person in Weatherly Park. He was

practically shredded, but, uh, nothing like Dr. Gregory."

Buffy looked at the paper. "Fork Guy doesn't do heads."

"Not historically."

"And Dr. Gregory's blood wasn't drained," Buffy added.

"So there's something else out there?" Xander asked. "Besides Silverwareman? Oh, this is fun, we're on Monster Island."

"We're on a Hellmouth. It's a center of mystical convergence," Ms. Calendar stated.

"Guess it's the same thing." Buffy walked toward Xander.

"Well, unpleasant things do gravitate here, it's true, but, uh, we don't know there's anything besides this chap. He's still our likely suspect," Giles said.

"Where was that guy killed? Weatherly Park?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy." Giles advanced toward her. "I know you're upset, but, uh, this is no time to go hunting, not until we know more. Please promise me you won't do anything rash?"

"Cross my heart."

After school, Ms. Calendar entered the library. The later into the day it had gotten, the more freaked out she had become about the incident with Dr. Gregory. "There is no way in hell I'm leaving this school alone," she stated. "I'm not about to be the next teacher that shows up in the cafeteria's refrigerator decapitated."

"We'll get whatever is doing this, I assure you," Giles told her. He then looked up from the book he was reading. "You're bloody shaking. Come sit."

Ms. Calendar nodded and took a seat next to him. "Please tell me you're not going to be here all night. I'd like to be home before dark."

"You're really scared, aren't you?" Giles asked. It was certainly new to see any sort of fear in her.

Ms. Calendar nodded.

"It's not going to hurt you." Giles closed his book. "I promise." He awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder.

At night, at Weatherly Park, Buffy climbed the fence. She walked through the park, carefully looking around.

A bum came up to her, startling her. "Shouldn't be out here at night, little lady. Dangerous." The bum left.

Buffy noticed another bum on the ground in front of a bench, and checked him out. He was okay, just asleep. Buffy continued stalking. Dogs barked in the distance. Buffy found some shrubbery covering

a sewer access hole. She moved it aside, and Fork Guy jumped out at her. She rushed backward. He swung with his claw, but missed. She slammed her straight arm into his gut, then again into his back. He swung again, but Buffy dodged him. She backhand punched him in the face, did a roundhouse kick to his jaw and backhand punched his face again. He took another swing at Buffy, but she evaded it. She front kicked him. He lunged at her, and she grabbed his arm and flipped him over onto his back. Buffy tried to stake him, but he rolled away and back onto his feet. She kicked him again, and he staggered backward and fell. Buffy heard voices and turned to see people with flashlights coming over the hill.

"Hold it!"

"Police!"

"Did you see that?"

"I got nothing here!"

Buffy looked back and forth between Fork Guy and the possee. The vampire ran off.

"I heard it."

"Spread out."

"Let's go over here."

"This way, this way."

"Alright..."

Buffy made tracks after the vampire.

Near the fence at the edge of the park, Natalie was walking home with grocery bags in her arms. The vampire stalked her and climbed over the fence. Buffy came running up. The vampire landed behind

Natalie. Buffy reached the fence and watched. Natalie sensed the vampire, stopped and turned to face him. Fork Guy hissed and ran away in fear. Natalie watched him go. Buffy couldn't believe what she saw. The

vampire crossed the street, lifted a manhole cover and climbed down. Natalie continued her walk home. Fork Guy pulled the manhole cover back into place. Buffy could only stare after Natalie, her mouth agape.