In My Garden

Summary: A new life begins as others end, Edward finds joy in gardening, living the life off the grid. He finds no hope in life, but life chases after him. This is a story about love, loss, and lunacy: a perfect balance.

Chapter 1 : Loss

EPOV

I can still feel the vibrations, the shuttering. Tires on slick ice. This feeling lingers as I open my eyes and feel the cold, slightly wet spot of the window against my temple. Blurring dark green and gray go unfocused, solid line trailing on and on. The cabin of the car is warm and stuffy. We drive the highway toward my childhood home. I sigh, I still have to do this one thing. I promised I would to myself.

Its early, Tanya is driving. Slender fingers turn the dial on the radio as she can't find any stations, just static. "I can't listen to Spotify OR the radio, great." The silence is nice, though all I can think about is the car shaking as she runs over the rumble strip on the side of the road, my chest tightens "shit, sorry." Her attention returns to the road and straitens her vehicle. She doesn't ask how I'm doing, she knows what I've been through.

I don't drive anymore, its been months. I can barely stand even being in a car. Walking, is much better. My feet firm on the ground, that's how we were meant to travel since we could stand. Cramps make their selves know inside the car as I realize I'm hungry. Tanya notices and smiles. "We're about two hours out before we get to the boarder, I have sunflower seeds there-back behind you?" Throwing her finger toward the back passenger seats. I reach behind me, not taking my eyes off the road in front of me. Searching fingers feel plastic, hearing the crinkle, I pull around the front and there is now a petite little bag in my lap. Just as I'm reaching in, the car jostles as a chunk of ice left by a trucker is flattened under her left tire. Seeds jump up, and onto the floor. Leaving sparse few seeds in the bag

I reach to pick them up, but can't find the strength to pull my eyes away from the road again. "It's fine, I'll pick it up later...", she says. I can feel her irritation inside her new Camry. I just want out of this car, placing the bag to its spot behind me. Choosing to speed things up, I'm laying my head back to the familiar moist spot of the window. I close my eyes once more, the nightmare is there to greet me. The blaring, defending sound of a horn, torn metal crunching and bending. The vibrations, the inhale, the panic. Repeat.

I'm never going to get rest like this, I have time later. Tanya wraps her arms around me, putting pressure on my back with a warm rum. Placing a kiss just before my ear, "Everything is going to be alright Edward." I feel numb but I smile as she pulls back. "Thanks for everything Tanya, I'll see you in a few days." I assure falsely, this was the last person I'm going to lose I promise myself. "I'll always be there for you. If you need anything." She makes sure I have my backpack, wallet, and my box I've kept with me. "Call me when you're ready to head home." Oh how I want to go home, I will soon.

I find myself walking slower than usual up my parents driveway, I haven't looked up at it yet, eyes to the gravel. On a normal I would walk up to the door to be greeted by my family but I pass the house to the back where a small trail leads into the wilderness instead. I brush leaves and thick branches away as I find the end of the path. A bench tucked at the base of a tree. I rest and drink some water from my bottle inside my pack. I look up at the gray afternoon sky, light mist comes through the tree to meet me as rain starts to pour. Wrapping me in a quiet roar. I stay like this for a while. Finally turning my body to the box next to me. I open it carefully and find a wooden box. This is why I'm here, the box of my family's ashes. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle. They're all here with me, sitting right beside me as I wipe moister from my eyes, I Just want them back.

I've made up my mind, my choice is set. Lifting the wooden box, I walk forward to the edge of the path and continue forward. I'm pushing through brush, its getting thicker and I move faster and the tears fall now. I don't hide it, I'm not pushing them back anymore. I am running now, wet from rain, holding tightly to the sealed box. I hear myself yelling, at no one, at myself, at this pregnant sky.

Its been hours, I'm so tired. I've hiked over hills and valleys, who knows where I am now, It's okay. This is what I want. There in the sea of trees, stands one. The large and old tree, this is the one. I take the box place it at the base of the tree. Taking a few breaths, I stand to retrieve my backpack of very few things. A rope finds my searching hand within, This was my choice.

Haven't written in sooo long, so excited for this story. I know its a little depressing in the beginning but I promise it gets better. Be patient, good things come to those who wait haha. Happy to hear any thoughts or opinions. Thanks everyone, enjoy