A/N: Thought this would be a fun little piece for Season 4 and maybe a deleted scene if this was capable of happening. I love Sebastian, and being that he might not return this season I just had to do it. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy the one shot. This was so much fun to write! It would be lovely to hear your feedback on this also to know what you thought of it and also the Kurtbastian witty banter.
Disclaimer: Don't own Glee or it's characters.
Enjoy Sebastian vs New Directions! :D
Glee's Company
William scratched off every single name who wasn't worth taking a second chance on and others whom were awful right as they entered the stage. As the lights dimmed, it marked the end of audition calls. Seeing the last of their attendees exit the auditorium, a bitter taste hung in all the Glee Club veterans' mouths.
"That was as bad as shaving the underside of my cat's groin...and he's stubborn." Brittany interjected whilst twirling her ponytail.
She practically spoke for everybody today. Matter of fact, Brittany was correct for once. So far, Marley was a go and Jake's name was suited for a question mark since no one else seemed qualified. Absolutely no one. Some didn't even sing. Rifling through the list of halfway decent people was like pulling teeth, and what Mr. Shuester wanted was stars, big voices. Someone to recognize. Yet with the seniors having graduated, confirming new members might as well been known as a journey all over again.
Tapping his pen on the desk, his eyes strained from doubling over so many times, he suddenly caught one name at the very bottom. The handwriting entirely too small, Mr. Shue spoke up to read it. "Hold on, seems I've missed one. Our final audition is-"
"Hello, Blaine." A familiar silk-smooth voice interrupted, coming from the dark reigns of the wings.
The stage lit up to show the tall figure emerge onto center stage. His nose high and leisurely walk towards the crowd, the male surprisingly was not dressed in his Warbler attire. Clothed in a regular pair of denim jeans, a half sleeved plaid shirt, and a white tie, not to mention the signature hairstyle everyone noticed at first glance, he stood with hands clasped behind his back, and a cocky smirk to deliver to each and everyone sitting with mouth's wide open.
"...Expendables."
Sebastian. Immediately the last person on their mind to appear at such a place.
Dumbfounded as well, Mr. Shue stated his name. "Sebastian Smythe."
"Oh. Dear. God."
Kurt croaked in disgust. The tips of his fingers dug into the wooden table, not eager to see the primal enemy of all enemies, besides Coach Sylvester in his presence. Having thought this game had settled last year prior to Regionals, apparently hadn't. Kurt assumed this sudden arrival had to do with his boyfriend. Blaine being lonesome with open arms and Sebastian running for him to take comfort in, with Kurt having supposed to already be away. Problem was, Kurt was here and none of Sebastian's come on's were going to start now.
Tina not the least bit cheerful, asked the most important of questions."Is this a joke?"
"No, but your feeble excuse for a dress is." Sebastian countered, folding his arms. "Sadly, that Dalmation printed get-up is provoking me to skin you like Cruella Deville."
Brittany quirked an eyebrow. She'd seen him before. "I-..I don't understand. Wasn't he a part of the Walruses?"
"Close. Warblers. The Dalton Academy Warblers which I'm no longer proud of, because of their leader." Blaine said in dismay, ignoring Sebastian's hello.
Seriously. This guy didn't know when to give up.
Licking his lips, Sebastian continued as though he hadn't acknowledged his retort. "Of course, the welcoming committee is out of commission this afternoon. I should've known."
"Well Sebastian, uh you made quite the entrance." Mr. Shuester implied as he tried contemplating on what to do next. The sound of forced amiability wasn't hard to hear. For Sebastian, he was able to see it seething through the middle-aged man's teeth. "You just-...took me for a loop on you coming here. In fact, you take all of us by question."
"It's my pleasure Mr Shuester, and on that note I'd have to say you don't sound very enthusiastic. You should be happy to greet me." A coy smile plastered on his cheeks. He knew just how they would react. "I see the Breakfast Club has lost their star players, but on the bright side whilst scanning through the crowd..." His voice trailing off to take a look at the leftovers. "You guys definitely packed on some weight. It'll make up for the lack of people accounted for."
"Wait, now hold on a minute." Kurt laughed sarcastically, toying with the pen between his fingers. "Sebastian, where's your herd? Surely you couldn't have left them lingering around the ranch."
Shaking his head to the petite boy, Sebastian still found Hummel very amusing. "You know Kurt, I've missed that infantile slur of yours. It's music to my ears."
"Not unless you want me to punch your giraffe neck in the throat."
Literally, the war between these two was like a time bomb waiting to explode. Anyone who sat in the middle of either of them was a clear shot to the jugular, and at the moment Blaine was soon to be the center of attention. And as much as he disliked it, the topic would pop up anyway.
The devilish grin remained held up on the leaner male's complexion, which only made Kurt want to wipe it off his face.
"Slow down there, Lip Gloss. That's no way to treat a guest." Pointing out his audacity.
All the rest of the Glee clubber's watched in fascination as if peering at a comedy movie, when Joe intervened. "Bro, you walked in unannounced."
"I was invited." Sebastian shot back. Obviously, that kid did not know the essence of personal hygiene nor Bob Marley. If that's what his hair looked like, Sebastian couldn't fathom what the rest of him did. He cringed on the inside. It was too vile to imagine.
In haste, he progressed into better subjects. "Moving onto Blaine-"
"I can stay out of this."
Tina rolled her eyes. "Cut to the chase Sebastian, clearly no one asked for you to be here. Mr. Clean is possibly you're only reason for making an appearance."
Sebastian had to choke a laugh. This was the first he'd ever really heard her talk since everyone generally made the announcements for her. "Wow, Tina Wang. I thought you were mute to begin with. Congratulations on uttering your first words." He applauded her on her efforts, but it barely left behind a bruise on his ego. "Anyway, being that Blaine is-"
"Was." Both Blaine and Kurt said simultaneously.
"... is a Warbler in my eyes, he can look out for me while I do my charity work. Edging for those scholarships is not a walk through the park. I need someone's acceptance, and Blaine is the best fit for the job."
"Funny. You're not the giving sort." Blaine popped in to make judgement, but in a subtle manner.
"Only if there's something in it for me."
In this case it was true. According to Sebastian, he'd never actually done anything unless he benefited from the exchange. If he didn't receive the upperhand, then he'd refuse the bargain.
The former Warbler did not exactly condone to the agreement nor had word of it. For his teammates to go behind his back and let this happen was low even for them, and that infuriated him. "And when do I get a say in this? I didn't exactly agree to anything."
"Which is why I had permission before hand by your fellow Warblers. We made a deal at one of our council meetings." Sebastian stated. "I'm situating myself to you horrendous bunch of losers as a new edition. Gotta give to the needy, right?."
From what Sebastian could tell, the New Directions were far from superb even if they won last year. They got first out of lucky shot, and now with their originally active team members gone, it gave him the spotlight to take action. Cocking his head to the side, his tone was pressed. "You need all the help you can get and with my assistance, this club might suck a little less but we all know Jolie Lips does the most sucking out of all of you."
"...Dude." As the remark was directed to Sam, Sam bashfully covered his lips with his palm. These sort of jokes went on and on, and he was used to it by now. But with someone he was a stranger to, it caused his insecurities to resurface. The last comment wasn't necessary and with what Sebastian always suggested, it never faultered from vulgar.
"Don't be embarrassed. If I were you I'd put that outstanding asset to excellent use." With him for example.
Raising her hand, Sugar had not identified herself with Sebastian. Sure he was nice to look at, but nothing could buy off his attitude. "Alright, who let this lollipop in?"
"Open auditions..." Brittany claimed shyly, catching sight of the sign-up sheet before stumbling in. That indulged her with a snarky glare from Sugar.
Sebastian on the other hand, finally laid eyes on the tanned female in the upper row. Wasn't at all a maze to detect her because of how nasally she was. To him that girl could've passed for a duck.
Extending out his neck to grant special focus to, Sebastian pointed a finger at her. "You must be the vocally inept member. Shaboinga, right?"
Taken a back by the misled nickname, Sugar blinked. A lot of her agitated. She loathed whenever people did not pronounce her name to he liking. "Sugar Motta, for your information. Watch who you're talking to or my d-."
"Daddy's what? Going to reduce me to a pair of penny loafers, and a cheap tie? Please. I've got money rolling in from another country, exported from a long line of generations." Sebastian informed coldly. She was about half his size, and no way would she pose as a superior to him. "Besides, you should be the last one talking. Frankly, that ridiculous glitter infested outift burns my retinas." Noting dryly.
Color flooded to Sugar's cheekbones as she glanced over her outift then backup at the kid on stage. She heard someone chuckle, and she hoped it wasn't any of those sitting nearby. "Do us a favor and take the blazer piping out of your ass, jerk."
Nodding, Sebastian had to confess. She was fiesty. He liked fiesty. Well, not on a girl. "I will after you do, Toots. Ladies first, remember?"
"Oh no he didn't!" Wade wailed, wagging his finger. But the Warbler only replied with a cynical click of his teeth. "Yes. Yes, I did."
Artie slumped back in his seat. This fight, New Directions vs Smythe was getting heated, and he wanted no participation in it.
"Shit. Smythe's got jokes."
Somehow Sebastian was flattered by the observation, yet that meant more room for comments. "Did you say something? Sorry, can't hear you from below my waist. My mouth's up here." He bellowed, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"But that's not where you'd like it to be..." Kurt grimaced under his breath, glancing at Sam.
Blaine's contribute to be nice disappeared. "Someone throw something at him. He'll break on impact...or perhaps scratch his cornea."
Rumagging through his bag, soon Joe came up with a half eaten snack out of it's front pocket. "I've got a pop-tart."
"That's enough!"
Mr. Shuester slammed the desk, his palms red of irritation. The noise silenced the atmosphere. Everyone quiet except himself. No one spoke. He could feel himself breathing heavily with all the commotion going on, and he was sick and tired of the language not just his unappreciated newcomer was using, but also his Glee clubbers. Seniors such as themselves were to set an example for their lower classman, yet they acted like the lower classman. William just didn't know how to express how disappointed he was of all his students sitting in this empty auditorium.
Sighing dramatically, Mr Shuester ran his fingers through his curls. He was exhausted just by listening to everybody bicker back and forth, and it all came down to one suspect. "Sebastian, your attitude isn't welcome at this audition."
"That's right." Sugar replied pursing her lips.
"And neither is anyone else's." He added sternly, looking around at his kids' baffled faces. "Glee club is about lifting each other up, not tearing spirit's down. You know better. All of you."
At that, almost all of them felt guilty for their recent episode. A sense of regret. Stooping down to Sebastian's level was only going to worsen the situation, and by doing so it had.
Twiddling his thumbs Kurt took the initiative. "We apologize Mr. Shue, but what I'm not sorry for is giving New Kid On The Block a daily dose of McKinley hospitality. I'll be honest, I despise Sebastian just as much as the next person, but if it means having to put up with him bashing us constantly just like Santana did with no consequence, you can count me out. I'm not taking anymore hits, nor want to stomach any one else doing the same."
A lone clap echoed across the walls. "Touching..." Sebastian hissed. "Now can we get on with this?"
Mr. Shuester came to stance in reply to the younger teenager. "Smythe, the doors to your left. You're free to leave if you wish, because I have no desire-."
"Look around Mr. Shue, take a good long glance." Cutting him off. "You're low on members."
"And members we will acquire within time."
"Would that be before or after Regionals?" Sebastian had a point. It take even more effort this year to gain up to how many people Mr. Shuester needed for their first competition. Without them, they couldn't qualify.
Leaning back, the onlooking male decided to give them the details and he wasn't going to be polite about it either.
Lights overcasting Sebastian's stance made him seem all the more intimdating as did his straight face. "Let me write you a reality check. This is your opportunity to take me, because we both know that your other auditions were as dull as dishwater. And if anything sinks in through that hideous jheri curl, you should already know what I can do. Face it, I'm star quality and your petty club is in desperate need of a little shine."
William was torn. Satisfying his students and satisfying a competitor wasn't an option. And the answer was slapping him in the face. Aware of his decision and what they'd say, Mr. Shuester had no other choice.
Shrugging, he turned around to face his students. "He's right...he's our last resort."
"Mr. Shue, are you kidding me?" Sam hollered.
Tina too had rage boiling in her blood. "Good job Mr. Shue, you've lowered your standards."
"Guys!" Mr. Shuester yelled aloud. "We need a Glee Club, and the only way to qualify is if we have 12 members. Period. He'll break in the count some."
Wade snapped his fingers to further his point. "You cannot just allow him in like that, Mr. Shue!"
Pulling out his papers, Mr. Shuester didn't want to hear it. If Sebastian wanted in, he had to do the exact process. Placing on his glasses, he got ready for the last singer of the day. "Fine then. Sebastian please take the mic."
"Great." Twisting his neck, he gave the go ahead and with smile stepped forward to the microphone. He'd show them. "Music."
Bouncing in place as he waited for his first words, Sebastian did what he knew best when on stage. Pose.
I wanna talk to you...
Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess I'm a little bit shy
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me without making me try?
Sebastian skillfully whisked his feet across the floor as he gracefully belted out the notes to a classic hit song years ago. Peering over every spectator Sebastian comfortably winked at a distraught Blaine. Other were not so content by the gesture. Kurt sat with a scowl, while Brittany bobbed her head to the beat. Joe used his time to pray that this kid never crossed paths with him, and Sugar stared in awe at the dancing teen. Aside from his banter, he was way hotter to her now that he was serenading the men and the ladies.
Circling himself he sang the lyrics clearly and at ease, his voice nowhere near cracking.
I tried to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!
After the first verse, Sebastian went on to sing the chorus as he delved into a series of dance moves. Ones by practicing with his Warblers and also from his dance lessons back when he was a kid. And his crooner voice was pulling through.
I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you like me?
Why don't you walk out the door!
Finishing the song, he ended in his original spot bowing in generosity. And that was how he usually signed off on his singing.
Little applause was made because some were more in-tune with his personality than his vocals, but then again everything was left up to the instructor. As he, Artie, Blaine and Kurt deliberated, Sebastian panted patiently on stage. "So?"
"Hand-me-down Justin Timberlake...you're hot." Sugar squealed.
Wade rolled his eyes. "Unique agrees. Scrawny but do-able."
Chuckling, Joe cracked his knuckles against his chest. "Tolerable, to sum it up."
Finally after minutes and the four parted, Mr. Shuester inspected Sebastian. "Sebastian. Be at reherseal tomorrow, but you better come with a clean slate and your jazz shoes."
Although knowing his fate from the time he walked in Sebastian still felt chills run up his arm when he heard his acceptance. "Right. Later Glee buddies."
"Shoo fly, don't bother me." Kurt answered, not liking the idea. "Now go. That or the wind will take you."
As Sebastian pranced off the stage with pride atop his shoulders, what was left to deal with was the awaiting members with a look of scorn. Why their teacher let him join, they didn't know.'
But Mr. Shuester smiled. "Don't worry guys. We'll be sure to give him a warm welcome."
To that end everyone else chirped up, having noticed his innuendo. Instantly all came in for a group hug to praise him with joy.
Change never felt so good.