A/N: When I heard this song I automatically thought of Kathy Stabler, but don't worry this is EO! I thought I'd try it as a song fic and it just moulded itself into Kathy remembering how she first met Olivia - the beauty of writing a story without a plot lol!
I know a lot of you don't like Kathy (for the most part I'm included), but I'm also quite fascinated by her, and I refuse to believe she's so stupid that.. Well you know what I mean! I wanted to try to understand her a bit more by writing this, so, um… I'll let you read it now :D Oh and please review, it's my first fan fic so I'd love some feedback.
DISCLAIMER: Last time I looked there wasn't any EO getting wild in the interrogation room, so whaddya you think?!
I've seen it. Of course I have, I'm not completely stupid. But I pretend I don't notice, whatever that'll gain me. The most ironic thing in all this is that I'm not in love with Elliot. I'll always love him for being such a huge part of my life all these years, and for our children, but I haven't been in love with him for years, and I expect he feels the same. I can blame it on his job easily, I know it's caused most of this, any other marriage would have crumbled by now, but ours has one big difference; Elliot's Catholic, so like me, he chooses to ignore what's right in front of him for fear of doing the wrong thing.
When she's looking at you
You get lost within her eyes
I remember the first time I saw Olivia. Before I met her I wasn't that worried, or threatened I should say. Elliot already couldn't stop talking about her and I just figured she was a funny person. And funny she was. And interesting, beautiful, intelligent and caring. I wanted so much to hate her, but I couldn't bring myself to.
She has hypnotised you, paralysed you and she's always on your mind
It was the NYPD ball, Elliot wore a black tux, and I got annoyed as his tie was blue and we didn't match each other. My maroon dress complimented my hair and features but it was shapeless, long; skimming my ankles, and it had wide shoulder straps and a v-neck, although I'm not sure why, you could only see about a centimetre of cleavage. When we got in the car I wasn't that anxious, it was all a bit of a rush and I wasn't expecting anything different to the other police functions I'd been to… I wasn't expecting Olivia.
You can never break free
Go back to where you were before
Olivia Benson. There's nothing that expressive about her name, so how was I supposed to tell if she was dull and boring, or dynamic and bold? Plain or exotic looking?
She hits you like a storm
Well I certainly found out soon enough. We walked in and Don Cragen came up to greet us, Fin and John following close. We were lead to our table, Elliot was the only one of the team who was married. Olivia wasn't there yet and I had a vision of a short frumpy woman getting into a pickle because she was being forced to wear a dress. Looking back now it seems ridiculous.
We'd been there about half an hour when I needed to go to the ladies. Guess who was there when I returned? She was sitting opposite Elliot, Fin and Munch were between them on one side, but on the other side I had been placed beside Elliot and Don between me and Olivia, but Don wasn't at his seat, and neither was I, I felt worried. I was intimidated by three damn feet and two empty chairs. Elliot hadn't seen me and was laughing and looking at her admiringly.
When you think you're in control and you got it all,
That's when you're lost
I saw her dress first. It was a piercing blue and had spangles woven through it in a deeper navy colour, almost matching Elliot's tie. Christ, did he know? Did they plan it? A scoop neck and very short haircut exposed her tanned back. As I got closer I saw how tall she was, I remember thinking she was at least 5'10 with heels. I wondered why her caramel hair was so short, only a bit longer than the hair of her colleagues, was it to fit into the male dominated world she lived in?
Tell me how high you wanna aim
To get to feel the heat from the flame
It scares me a bit, how I remember so many details about that night. No. It scares me how I remember so many details every time I see Olivia.
With a million thoughts whizzing through my head I walked towards the table and before I could pull my chair out she'd shot up, and in the corner of my eye I saw her sincere smile.
Just look in her eyes and you'll see she got game
I turned to look at her, and she grinned widely, telling me she was glad to finally meet me, after all the lovely things she's heard from everyone. Yeah, I bet. I was the one that stopped them all from starting a new horrific case, making Elliot come home and prolonging the wait for a murderer or rapist, or both, from going to court.
I couldn't win either way. If I ever succeeded in making him come home early, he'd be in such a distant mood I used to think it would be better if I'd just let him stay at work.
With Olivia.
You will never be the same again
All through the night I saw how she interacted with everyone, warm and open, joking and laughing. There was always a smile on those exotic lips, and those striking features were never in the same place for too long, yet I noticed something. Her eyes only sparkled for Elliot. I wondered then, did mine? Or were they dull when I looked at him?
I got my answer a fraction of a second after I asked the question. Elliot smiled at Olivia. One of many smiles between them that night, but I was watching this one closely, and his eyes had never had as much depth as they did looking at her than when they looked at me.
I can see how badly you wanna be right by her side
I forced myself to look down again, but as soon as I did a man walked to our table, greeting us all with a smile and 'hello' before turning to Olivia. I saw a fleeting look of uncertainty pass her face before she stood up and let him kiss her cheek. I don't know what happened then, but he walked away and she sat back down and took a rather large gulp of wine. Elliot's face was stiff, but his eyes had darkened and I knew something was wrong.
Caution!
You could be in danger,
Shouldn't play with fire
She got game
Of course, it was something to do with Olivia, and that man. Oh God. Elliot was jealous. I couldn't even cope with the feelings he had for Olivia, but now he was jealous of her... boyfriend, ex-boyfriend? It was as if there was a real relationship between them, and I could see it was against their will. That was the first time I really resented Olivia.
How could she make my husband jealous like that? I was supposed to do that. He was supposed to be jealous when a man threatened his relationship with me. Not her.
To be her number one guy so she can call you whenever she feels down
I hate myself for being so bitter, all these years I've ruined people's lives. Mine. Elliot's. Our children's, I'd be kidding myself if I thought that they're all so naive they don't know what's happening. And Olivia's. That's a thought that's plagued me for quite a while now. Elliot would never cheat, I know that, and Olivia would never let him.
She will never let you get too close
She got game
So have I ruined her life by not setting Elliot free? I probably have, but I don't know what to do about it anymore. Do I leave him or wait for him to leave me? All I know is we can't keep doing this, we all need to get on with our lives. Funnily enough, I don't regret Olivia coming into Elliot's life. I'm glad he has a chance at true love, I'm happy for him, and Olivia. And me? Who knows, maybe I'm one of those people who just gets to witness love, that's enough for me.
I think I've finally learned to let go.
End
A/N: Mmm, ok I don't know about this, it's just a different perspective though, so I'm glad it's turned out this way. Please leave feedback, constructive criticism is definately appreciated! The song is She Got Game by Tymes 4.