a/n: I have zero explanations for this.

(warning: there be foul language ahead.)

I envision this happening late in season 1, when feisty, short-haired Baby!Beckett is trying very hard to hang on to her glares at Scruffy Sexy Writer Boy.

"Excuse me? Everyone? Hi, could I please have your attention?"

Bridget watched as the usual clamor of the bullpen died down. Detectives, uniforms and a pair of ADA's glanced at her curiously, coffee still firmly in hand. She couldn't help but grin. Some things were truly universal. Caffeine, not blood, was the thicker-than-water unity between all branches of the criminal justice system.

"I think most of you know me, but for those who don't, I'm Officer Bridget Caughey. I've been here for a few years."

Karpowski, who already knew what this announcement was, was grinning, muttering something to Detective Ryan. Bridget had always felt a bond with him. Fellow Irish cop, and all.

"I'd like to announce that I've just won the lottery. Specifically, the Mega Millions prize."

The bullpen broke into raucous applause.

"Yes, thank you. I just got the official notice that I'm one of only two winners. So that's exciting. And bewildering. And while I've really loved my work here, I've just officially handed in my resignation to Captain Montgomery. I'm moving to Dublin, where I have plans to buy up the pub my family used to own."

She held up her hands to quell the rush of congratulations and oh, that sounds great and Ireland ahoy. "I'm on my way out, but before I left, I have something to say.

"First of all, there aren't any words to adequately describe how much I love and respect everyone here. It's been an absolute privilege, and even when it's not glamorous -" that drew a chuckle - "it's been amazing. I may be headed to Ireland, but at heart, I'm NYPD forever.

"And I would like to say that Richard Castle, it's been great working with you. I don't really like your books, but I like you. I appreciate that time you got me coffee when you noticed I was stuck working a double shift. Even though you called me Brenda. It's the thought that counts."

That got a round of chuckles. To his credit, Castle looked appropriately sheepish. Bridget hoped he wasn't offended she wasn't a fan of his printed work. It was nothing personal. At least he was better-looking than James Patterson, though.

Bridget's gaze fell on Detective Beckett, standing next to Castle with her arms folded.

"Detective Beckett, I've learned a lot from you. I think you're a great detective. And I think you're going to end up dating Castle, so you should probably just get over yourself."

The bullpen went completely silent as every face swiveled towards Kate Beckett, who was now red-faced, staring at Bridget, open-mouthed. Bridget took a breath. So that was somewhat akin to what a Beckett glare felt like. No wonder she was so effective in interrogation.

Oh, well. Too late to stop now.

"Because, really. It's like watching him chase you around the playground at recess. I'm pretty sure you have all his books. And honestly, he's not really an asshole. He just acts like one to get a rise out of you because he thinks it's cute when your face gets all red." She paused. "Kind of like it is now. And Castle, she's crazy about you. She's super grumpy when you don't come in, and she always smiles at you when she thinks you're not looking. So if you could both stop fucking around and just get together already, that would be great."

Castle and Beckett were now both scarlet-faced, pointedly avoiding each other's eyes, and Bridget felt a swell of pride. If nothing else, maybe she'd helped. Chaos was more fun than anything, after all.

"You guys, it's been great, but I should probably get going before the captain comes to chase me out. Anyone who wants to join me, I'll be at the Odd Shamrock tonight at eight. The first round's on me."

Naturally, the promise of free beer got the floor cheering, and she walked out through a crowd of cheering and whistling and hugs. She managed to get into the elevator quickly, and the doors closed just as she heard Montgomery stepping out of his office, asking what the hell all that noise was about.