Once when we were young, Pitch and I were lovers.

It may seem absurd—after all, how could the keeper of dreams ever love the giver of nightmares?

But I did—I still do, so, so much.

…And he was a much different person back then; shy, compassionate, sweet… hardly recognizable now, but that's what happens with a broken heart.

… And I was the one who broke it.

When the other guardians began to appear, they immediately accepted me into their ranks. I was overjoyed, Pitch and I had long been the only two spirits, and I had begun to wish for other companionship.

He understood completely, and wished me well as a part of their group. I remember that I smiled at him, and told him I'd come back soon.

…I didn't.

For centuries I spent my time with my "new friends", neglecting and ignoring him, my sweet Pitchie, in exchange for their approval and acceptance.

In time I grew ashamed of how I had treated him, but I was also afraid that he would reject me, hate me, for what I'd done.

So I avoided him, like a coward…but that couldn't last forever.

I returned home one night, only to find him there, waiting for me. He lashed out, using his nightmare sand to pin me against the wall. "I am the Nightmare King." He growled as he stalked toward me, "I am Fear itself." I felt his hands wrap around my neck, "There are consequences for breaking the heart of Fear itself…you have just experienced some of them."

I was sure that he was going to kill me, but the sand dispersed and he let me drop to the ground.

I looked at him; I'll never forget his face, twisted in pain, eyes full of unshed tears. I reached out to him…but he merged into the shadows and was gone.

I did not see him again until the recent battle… I wanted nothing more than to take him into my arms. Instead, I pretended to be angry and indifferent, as usual, I was a coward.

And what's worse is that he knew it, he knows everyone's fears after all.

He smirked at me, those eyes that were once full of tears were now cruel, mocking, and full of hatred… it made my stomach twist.

When he shot me with the arrow, it felt as if the world was shattering, along with my heart.

…What had I done to my sweet love?

Pitch laughed at my anguish, "Don't fight the fear little man!"

In the end, I accepted my fate, it was no less than I deserved. There are moments when I almost wish that I hadn't been brought back; it would've been so much easier to drift in darkness for eternity.

But the children called to me and I answered, I still had a duty to do.

I helped the others defeat Pitch, and I watched as he was dragged away by his own nightmares.

Later I flew back to his lair, determined to make amends.

…I couldn't find him.

I called out, I screamed, I begged, but there was no response.

I flew home, I could do nothing else.

It will only be a matter of time before Pitch regains his strength, and this horrible cycle of violence and pain repeats itself.

And I shall endure it, I am a guardian.

I'll fight against him forevermore, because I severed our bond the moment I severed his heart, it doesn't matter how many times I apologize, or plead for forgiveness, he will never forgive me,… will never be mine again.

This is the fate I have chosen, and I must live with it, until the end of days.