Supernatural: Ghostfacers
A/N: Hello, and welcome to start of my newest story! We see the return of Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler, our favorite wannabe Ghostbusters, and the real interesting fact is that this episode was posted on a Leap Year.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Supernatural or Criminal Minds; I just own the characters that I happen to create.
CHAPTER ONE: RETURN OF THE GEEKS
"Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him."
Proverbs 26:27
Oshkosh, WI
Mr. and Mrs. Spangler's house…
Two young men sat in easy chairs in front of a fireplace, and both were dressed in formal wear, except for their shoes, which were converses, and they were holding half-full brandy glasses: the first man had curly ginger-colored hair, a faint beard, and blue eyes hidden behind black-rimmed glasses. And the second man had short black, slightly spiky, hair and dark eyes.
"Hello," said the black-haired man into a camera, running one finger around the rim of his glass so that it was singing slightly, "I am Harry Spangler."
"And I am Ed Zeddmore," said the ginger-haired man. "Now, if you have received this tape, you must be some sort of bigwig network executive. Well, today is your lucky day, mister."
Harry grinned. "Because the unsolicited pilot you are about to watch is the bold new future of "reality TV"." And he did the finger quotes in the air.
Ed nodded. "Mmmm. We know you had it tough during the crippling writer's strike."
"Lazy fat cats," Harry scoffed, setting aside his glass.
"Who needs writers when you've got guys like us?" Ed asked, setting aside his glass too and picked up a gray plastic skull, while Harry flipped a cheap-looking dimmer switch, darkening the room. "Our team faced horrible horrors to bring you the footage that will change your world forever," he continued as the lights dimmed. "So, strap in for the scariest hour in the history of television."
"In the history of your life," Harry added.
"Strap in for…" Ed began and Harry joined in, "Ghostfacers!"
`"Ghost…Ghostfacers.
We face the ghost when
The others will not.
We're Ghost…Ghostfacers.
Stay in the kitchen when
The kitchen gets hot.
Ghost…Ghostfacers.
We face the nightmare,
We face the dread.
Ghost…Ghostfacers.
We face the faces
We face the dead!
When you trip and fall
Into the supernatural…
We're the ones who you're gonna call.
We face them all!
Ghost…ghostfacers.
We face the faces,
We face the dead!
We're Ghost…Ghostfacers!"`
Three days ago…
Harry and Ed got out of Ed's AMC Gremlin and deliberately walked in slow motion while carrying two metal briefcases with a "Ghostfacers" sticker on each of them while they were being filmed.
`"You know,"` Ed said as a voiceover, `"it can get kind of hard…balancing our daytime careers with our night time missions."`
`"Yeah,"` Harry agreed, `"but Ed and I pretty much call the shots at the Kinko's where we work, so we can usually pretty much get off by 6:00 every night?"`
`"Yeah, 6:00,"` Ed agreed. `"It used to be just…you know…you and I taking on the case – just Harry and me."`
`"Two lone wolves."`
`"And two lone wolves need, uh…other wolves."`
"Morning, 'facers," said Ed as he and Harry entered their "office", which was actually the garage of Ed's parents' house, and set their briefcases down.
"Good morning, Ghostfacers," said Harry.
"Its 7:00 pm, dude," a guy named Spruce, pointed out from behind the camera.
Harry scowled at him. "It's morning to a Ghostfacer," he said curtly, and then turned to a young man with curly brown hair and green eyes, who was organizing things on the white board. "Corbett, what do we got, buddy?"
Corbett jumped and almost dropped some papers. "On, I'm just putting up some of the-"
Ed rolled his eyes and reorganized the papers and photos on the board. "Yeah, this has to go up here," he said. "That's got to go here…got to see the whole field. Markers, eraser – good job." And then he patted Corbett on the shoulder.
Grinning, Corbett turned to the camera while he grabbed a two grocery bags and set them on a counter. "I first saw Ed putting up flyers down at – at the outlet mall in Scogan," he explained, excited as he began taking items out of the bags, "so I – I read one, and I thought to myself. "Huh. Where do ghost comes from?" and now here I am." He pulled out a container of coffee cream and his grin got bigger.
Spruce turned the camera toward a young Japanese-American woman with long black hair and dark brown eyes. "Smile, Maggie."
Maggie rolled her eyes and threw a wadded up paper ball at the camera, getting the attention of Harry when said ball hit his arm.
"Ed, your sister's abusing staff," he complained.
"That's adopted sister," Ed corrected, sitting down at one of the laptops, "thank you very much."
Maggie rolled her eyes and glanced at the camera. "Ed has been obsessed with the supernatural since we were kids, you know and then he meets Harry at computer camp… and love at first geek."
Spruce laughed and then aimed the camera, revealing himself to have receding, curly black hair and brown eyes hidden behind black-rimmed glasses. "Spruce here. What up, playaaa?"
Confessional #1…
"I am 15/16 Jew, 1/16 Cherokee," Spruce told the camera while driving a ball-collecting cart across a driving range, ignoring the balls that collided with the cart's side. "My grandfather was a tallis maker, my great-great-grandfather was a degenerate gambler and had a peyote addiction."
Ed clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. "Ok, people," he said, "let's cut the chatter and get on a mission, okay?" he then tapped a photo of an old-looking house. "Morton house…one of our big fish. All right, we all know the legend. Every four years, supposedly, this becomes the most haunted place in America."
"The leap year ghost, some call it," Harry explained. "The ghost returns at midnight, just as February 29th begins."
"And no one has ever stayed the night, right?" Maggie asked.
Harry nodded, sort of. "Yeah, well every testimony that we dug up, every eyewitness has cut and run well before midnight."
"Well, that's about to change, baby," Ed stated.
"Absolutely true, Ed," Harry agreed. "Absolutely true."
Corbett passed around cups of coffee to everyone, and Ed took a sip.
"Mmm, that's good," Ed commented.
"It's French vanilla," Corbett explained eagerly. "'Cause the other day, you said how much you liked it, so…"
Ed smiled. "Thank you."
"You are welcome," Corbett responded, pleased, and hurried back to the counter, missing Harry's concern expression.
Confessional #2…
"I like, Corbett, I do," Harry said from his car. "Shows up early, does his job, a lot of good hustle out-" and then jumped when Corbett tapped on the window and waved before leaving, and Harry rolled his eyes, hating it when Corbett did that. "I think he got the hot's for Ed," he added, "and that could spell trouble for the whole team."
While Ed and Harry went over the mission, Corbett grinned at the camera again. "Ed's kind of the more rugged, with that really golden…beautiful sort of beard. Definitely nice. Uh, and Harry's nice."
Spruce then turned the camera toward Ed and Harry.
"29th is this Friday, Facers," Ed stated. "We want this mission, we got to move on it now, or guess what – he's gone for another four years."
Suddenly, there was a loud noise that made them all jump, and then the whiteboard crashed to the floor as the garage door began opening up.
"Oh, watch out!" Ed yelped, almost getting hit by the board. "Who is that?" he peered under the rising door while Harry rescued the board, and groaned when he saw an old, brown '63 Mercedes. "Dad! Come on!"
Sighing, Harry turned to the camera. "Just cut the cameras," he suggested, making a cutting motion across his neck. "We don't need that. We don't need this part, we don't-"
And Spruce stopped filming.
Thursday night
February 28th, 2008…
Loaded up with their gear, the Ghostfacers ran through the shadows toward a high chain-link fence that surrounded the property that the Morton house sat on, and they stopped when they reached the gate, both Spruce and Maggie were filming everything.
"Stay low, follow formation," Ed ordered, doing hand-signals that only Harry and Corbett obeyed. "Ok, as suspected…a lot of people tried to break into the Morton house." And he nodded to the padlock, and chain on the gate. "The local authorities have just gotten fed up."
"Looks like the cops have got this place pretty well fenced off," Harry commented.
"Wait," said Maggie when she saw her brother pull out a pair of cutters. "Didn't you guys get, like, a permit or something?"
Harry blinked. 'Oops!' "A permit?" he repeated. "That's a good idea for next time."
"Yeah," Ed agreed while Maggie scowled at them.
Spruce then heard something. "Car!"
"Car. Shh, shh!" Harry hissed. "Flashlights off." And they turned off their flashlights and ducked behind some bushes.
"Keep totally still," Maggie whispered while Spruce aimed the camera at the street.
A car approached with the radio playing "We're an American Band". It was an Impala, and inside it was the Winchesters. The car slowed to a crawl, allowing Sam to shine a flashlight toward the Morton house, they exchanged a look, and then drove away.
"It's ok," Spruce said, relieved. "Not cops – just hicks." And turned back to the gate, discovering that Ed was working on cutting the chain.
"Ed's got it," Harry said, watching as Ed cut the chain and got the gate open. "Guys, let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Go! Go!" and they ran through the gate and toward the house.
They entered the foyer of the house and the door creaked when it closed, making them all wince.
"Hear that, people?" Ed hissed, his night-vision goggles resting on his head. "Let's keep it quiet."
Harry shined his flashlight into the kitchen, which was covered with dust and cobwebs, just like the foyer, and it landed on the sink, which had dust-covered dishes in it. "There's the kitchen sink."
Ed nodded. "Copy that, copy that."
They then went into the living room and pulled a sheet off a large table that was made out of oak.
"All right, everybody," Ed said. "Ghostfacers, let's line up." And they gathered, making sure that Spruce and Maggie had a good view with the cameras. "We'll set up camp right here. This is command center one."
"We're gonna call this the Eagle's Nest," Harry added.
For the next ten minutes, they set up their equipment in the living room, and then set up cameras in other parts of the house while Ed stayed in the living room.
`"Hallway up and running,"` said Corbett.
"Looking good, Corbett," Ed said, getting a clear image on the screen.
Corbett grinned. `"Copy that, Ed."`
Ed flushed. "Uh…uh, you're welcome," he stammered and then refocused. "All right, Spruce, how are we doing there, buddy?"
`"Checking basement camera two, mein fuher,"` Spruce responded, throwing in a bit of German.
Ed then checked another screen, which was currently blank. "Maggie," he said. "I got no visual on you, Maggie."
Just then, the screen lit up and Maggie appeared. `"This is Maggie,"` she said. `"Do you copy?"`
"There you are, hello," Ed said relieved. "Harry, are you alive?"
`"Upstairs, Ed,"` Harry responded. `"Camera one."`
Ed grinned. "Look good. I can smell syndication," he said. "All right, fellas. Let's regroup at the Eagle Nest."
10:40 pm…
Back at the…um, base camp, they double-checked their gear, cameras, and split up into teams.
"All right, Spangler," Harry said, double-checking his friend's headband cam. "Battery check, battery check, check. Okay."
"Check, check," Spruce confirmed, training his camera on Corbett, who was wearing army fatigues and was fiddling with his headband cam. "Yo, Corbett, dude."
"Lookin' good, Corbett," Harry commented, giving him a thumbs' up.
Spruce grinned. "You're Robocop."
"R-robo cop?" Corbett repeated with a goofy grin. "You think I – you think I look like Robocop?"
"Everybody," Ed said, gesturing to them, and they crowded in, which wasn't easy with Spruce and Maggie's cameras, "bring it in, bring it in." He then cleared his throat. "We've all been here before, standard walk through. Team one, west. Team two, east. Spin the tires, light the fires. Ghostfacers on three." And they all put a hand in. "1, 2, 3…"
"Ghostfacers!" they shouted, throwing their hands into the air before heading out.
Ed and Corbett explored the main floor, their cams transmitting back to the computers, and small headlights connected to the headbands lighted the way.
"Hello!" Ed called out, holding a recorder in his hand. "I'm speaking to the restless spirits of the Morton house!"
"Okay," said Corbett, keeping an eye on the EMF reader he was holding.
"Hello! My name's Ed," said Ed and he glanced at Corbett, noting his nervous expression. "Careful. Watch my back."
Corbett nodded, nervously. "Okay, okay."
"What's your name?" Ed asked and glanced at the EMF meter. "3.29."
"Is there an entity or entities here with us now?" Corbett asked nervously. "Can you give us a sign of your presence?"
"You got to breathe, buddy," Ed suggested.
Corbett shook his head. "I – I can't breath."
"Corbett," Ed said, tapping his night goggles, "night vision."
"O-okay," Corbett stammered, fumbling for his own night goggles, "ok, yeah."
Ed patted his teammate's shoulder. "Calm down, buddy," he instructed. "Breath, all right? Calm the whirlwind of your mind."
Meanwhile, on the second floor, Harry, Spruce, and Maggie were exploring the rooms and searching for some sign of the supernatural.
"We're doing a basic EMF, temp-flux sweep," Harry explained. "Looks like we got all of our ducks in a row." And then the EMF lighted up and the cameras picked up some interference. "What?" and he looked at the equipment, perplex.
"I don't know," Spruce said, checking his camera. "It's weird. It's gone."
Putting it out of his mind, Harry went up to a nearby door. "All right, get this, get this." And he tried to kick in the door, and almost fell down after his unsuccessful attempt.
"Turn the knob," Spruce suggested when Maggie rolled her eyes at Harry's pathetic attempt to act macho.
"All right…" Harry agreed. "That's a good idea." He slowly opened the door, peered inside, and then ran away, yelling, making both Spruce and Maggie jump. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"
Spruce looked in the next room and rolled his eyes when he saw a rat scurry away and there was another rat lying dead on the floor. "It's just a rat, dude." And Maggie made an "ew" face.
Confessional #3…
"I don't really like rats," Harry told the camera while sitting in his car. "They're gross. Rats are like the…rats of the world."
"What – was that an apparition?" Harry asked, slowly edging back toward the room. "Was that a spectral – was that a .4? What do we got? 'Cause the emp was just off the-" and he yelped when Spruce threw a dead rat at him. "Oh God! Oh that's is so not funny, Spruce!" he complained while Spruce and Maggie laughed.
Back on the main floor, both Corbett and Ed jumped when something hit a nearby window, making them yelp.
"Oh God," Corbett gasped and then chuckled when he saw what was hitting the window. "Okay, it was just…I think it was just this branch…ok…in the window."
"This is spooky, man," Ed complained. "This place…"
Corbett agreed. "Ok." And he turned toward the nearest hallway, and helped when he and Ed got blinded, screwing up their night vision. "Oh, no!" and they clung to each other as three figures came at them.
"Freeze!" Dean snapped, armed with a gun and a flashlight, and his siblings were on his heels with their own guns and flashlights. "Police officers! Don't move!"
"All right, all right, all right," Sam said while Liz patted the two terrified men down and found their wallets.
"Let's see some identification," Dean ordered, accepting the wallet that Liz handed him, and she handed the other wallet to Sam.
"No weapons on them," Liz reported, keeping her flashlight on them.
"What – are we under – under arrest?" Corbett stammered, and then began hyperventilating. "Oh God, oh God."
"Calm down," Sam ordered and the young man did, much to Ed's surprise and confusion.
Dean shined his flashlight on Corbett, looking between him and the driver's license in his hand. "Want to explain that weirdo outfit, Mr., uh, Corbett?"
Before Corbett could say anything, Ed spoke up after staring at the Winchesters, realization dawning on his face. "I know you."
"Yeah, sure you do," Dean scoffed. "What does his ID say?"
"Yeah, ho – whoa, hold on a second," Ed said suddenly, staring again. "I know all three of you guys, yeah."
Corbett was confused. "What?"
Ed nodded. "Yeah, huh."
Sam looked at the ID in the wallet and then at Ed, and his eyes went wide with shock. "Holy shit!"
"What?" Liz and Dean both asked.
"Uh, West Texas…" Sam stammered. "The…the tulpa we had to take out," he reminded them. "Those two goofballs that almost got us killed…the hellhounds or something?"
Both Dean and Liz trained their flashlights on Ed for a moment, and then they both cursed.
"Fuck me."
"Dammit! Not you again."
Ed rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we're not hellhounds anymore, okay?" he corrected them. "It didn't test that well."
"Jeeze, I wonder why," Liz muttered.
"Ed, what's going on?" Corbett asked, looking between them, confused.
"They're not cops, buddy," Ed informed him, "no, not at all."
Dean, Sam, and Liz exchanged exasperated looks, and then Dean snapped his fingers, getting their attention.
"Ed, Ed, you had a partner, too, didn't you – a different guy?" he asked.
Ed nodded. "Oh, yeah, yeah."
"Is he around here somewhere?" Liz asked, hoping they could get these jerks out before midnight, and they were running out of time.
"He's running around," Ed answered vaguely, "chasing ghosts."
'Or is being chased by ghosts,' Dean thought. "Okay, well, listen, you and Rambo need to get your girlfriends and get out of here," he advised.
"All right," Ed said sternly, stepping toward Dean. "Listen here, chisel chest, okay? We were here first. We've already set up base camp. We beat you."
Dena smirked and glanced at his siblings, who were rolling their eyes. "They were here first."
Ed nodded, pleased with himself. "Mmhmm." And then yelped when Dean grabbed him and pinned him against the wall, making Corbett jump. "Oh, God!"
"Ed…" Dean snapped.
"Yeah?" Ed squeaked.
"Where's your partner?" Dean demanded, making Ed gulp.
"Upstairs."
After yelling at Spruce for the rat stunt, they entered the room and the EMF went haywire.
"10.6, 10.7, guys," Harry announced as the needle got buried, the red lights flashing. "The EMF is really spiking here."
Maggie checked her temp reader. "Temperature's down…like…11 degrees."
"All right, all right, keep your eyes peeled," Harry instructed, excited. "This could be it. Maggie, can I get a reading in here please?"
The camera started acting up again and Spruce cursed, trying to get rid of the interference. "Something keeps messing with the chip," he complained. "I don't know what's going on here." Suddenly the interference cleared up and a man in 50's-style suit and hat appeared, and he jumped. "Guys, guys, guys!"
They all stared in shock as the ghostly man spoke to someone that they couldn't see.
`"Look buddy, I'm sorry,"` he said. `"That's it. I'm telling you, that's all the money I-"` and then he was cut off by gunfire, making him fall and disappear.
Yelping, the trio ran from the room as fast as they could.
A/N: And that's a wrap for the first chapter. I hope you all enjoy the antics of the wannabe Ghostbusters. R&R everyone!