How much is that Boggy in the window?

It was a dark and stormy night…nahh, scratch that...better yet, let me scratch behind my ear…ahhhh! That's better! Okay, where was I? Besides hungry? Oh, it was a dark and windy night. I know it was awfully windy because Jeffrey and me took a walk through Central Park and the little guy was nearly blown away. I didn't cut him much slack either, running ahead so fast. What's a dog supposed to do when he sees a cute Labrador, roll over and play dead? Well, I did that and, she wasn't impressed. She was snobby, just like her owner with the big high heels. Then I made him trip when I ran for the hot dog vendor and pigeons.

Jeffrey has never been the same since he came home a few months ago. I don't know what happened. Jeffrey always used to laugh and play with me in the big house we lived in. I even had my own bed, because Mr. Jones said I was about the size of a small child. Those were the days! I don't know what happened to Mr. And Mrs. Jones, they disappeared that night Jeffrey came home. My poor master, he was all scratched and had these white patches on him. Ever since then, Jeffrey cries every night and looks at pictures. He talks to me more, but it never sounds happy. He doesn't even pet me the same. I think it has something to do with his parents being gone.

I don't like it in this cramped little house. Where's my doghouse? Where's my backyard and favorite tree? I barely ever get out to play unless Jeffrey takes me, so I really run wild when we go to the park. I don't like these two people inside. All they do is yell at each other, snap at Jeffrey and ignore me. The way I can get attention is to do something bad, like make a mess. Last week I did, right on her lovely white carpet. I couldn't help it; she refused to take me for a walk! I felt bad because Jeffrey got in trouble. He wasn't even home; he was in school! How could he take me for a walk?

She punished me by locking me in Jeffrey's room and then I didn't eat until Jeffrey finally snuck me some Kibbles and pieces of steak from dinner. I'm losing my muscular figure. I'm already a mutt; nobody likes a skinny, ugly dog. Jeffrey has been shut up in his room for hours. I know my master loves to read, but tonight is different. He just seems to be staring out the window. Every so often he'll cry and look at the picture in his hand. I know that picture; it's the one with Mr. and Mrs. Jones, it was the most recent one they took. Nobody has to tell me, but I have a feeling that we'll never see his parents again and that makes me sad too. I always cry when my Jeffy cries, and then he pats and rubs my head.

Those two are at it again in there, but I can't control myself from crying after Jeffrey put the picture back on the mantle.

"Shhh, Can it, Ralph!" He barks at me. I instantly shut up.

Jeffrey is peeking at the door. I don't know what's really being said, but that stuffed shirt is yelling about a trip. That's just great. Where are Jeffrey and me gonna go while they have fun in the sun? Most likely to the doghouse. Jeffrey just closed the door, he looks really sad now and I…hey, what in the world is that noise? It's so loud! My ears perked up automatically, Jeffrey doesn't really hear it, but all I know is, it's getting louder!

Jeffrey hears it now and he's tugging my leash so tight I think my neck is gonna break. What was that? I just saw a man land on the ledge outside! He made a hard landing, that's for sure! Maybe he fell from those big birds in the sky. I have to protect Jeffrey, so I stay in front of him, no sudden moves, because every time I get yanked back anyway. Hey! He's breaking the window with a big book! He won't stop! Where are Jeffrey's aunt and uncle? Don't they hear this noise? I guess not, they must have went out to dinner. Sure, they feed themselves, but all Jeffrey has to eat is macaroni and cheese and that icky stuff in the can.

WOW! He's climbing inside now! Jeffrey is scared stiff! I look this man over, what weird clothes! I mean, I've seen some silly clothes in the City, but this! Hey, I know! He looks just like the funny guys in Jeffrey's books. I think they are called Pirates.

"SMOKING Bat's breath! That coulda killed me!" The Pirate hollered to no one in particular. Now he's complaining about how high the building is. Maybe if he stopped pretending to be a bird, he wouldn't be so high, would he?

I growl at him, he's coming closer! I start barking loudly; maybe a neighbor will hear this? This big guy looks just as confused as Jeffrey, even more dopey. He's talking something about…Columbus? What do those numbers mean?

I can smell him from here, musky, not bad, and all these foreign odors. He doesn't carry scents of the City on him. I smell dirt, grass, hay, and women's perfume, sweat of all kinds. Boy, does this guy get around!

Beef Jerky! I smell lots and lots of beef Jerky and it's coming right from that little pouch! I need it! I love that stuff! Mr. Jones used to give me some all the time! Uh oh, he's even closer and his voice is getting louder, he might hurt Jeffrey! That's right, come to Ralph, pretty boy! That jerky is mine!

Can you blame me for acting on my canine instincts? I am starving and this big guy smashes through our window, boy does he have the goods! Hey, don't read into that, I'm a dog, all right?

"RALPH!"

I couldn't take it anymore, I just lunged straight for the guy and somehow his book gets caught between my teeth! GRRRR!! I bit the stupid book by mistake!"

He's pulling and I'm pulling, owww!! Now Jeffrey is pulling on me!

"Ralph! Ralph, give it up!" Jeffrey screams at me.

"He's got my book!" The Pirate yelled. "Get this lousy….off of me!"

WHAT DID HE JUST CALL ME? I can't make out that word, his voice is too deep and he's gritting his pearly white teeth, but it wasn't nice! I lunge at him again, but then, the unthinkable happens.

"Auughhh! Help!!"

Jeffrey! My master! My best friend! He just fell out the window! I look back at the guy. His face goes into this crazed shock and I can see he did not mean for that to happen. I back away from him and he jumps too! The Pirate dove straight out after him! Save Jeffrey! Save my master and I will never attack you again!

The book still hanging from my teeth, I venture to peek out, I can't stop myself from crying and whining. The Pirate finally caught up to him, wrapped his arm around him and….

THEY DISAPPEARED! Come back! Jeffrey! Come back!

He's gone! The last friend I had in the world is gone! But I have something very valuable. It's something that Pirate really wanted! I still have the black book. As long as I have it, they'll be back, right?

Right?

THE END.