Sharon threw a careful look behind her before she carefully and quietly closed her condo door. She took a long breath and started walking towards the elevator, hearing the loud voices in her condo becoming muffled with every step she took. She pressed the elevator button and waited, watching the numbers changing in the external floor indicator. A loud 'ding' was heard as the elevator reached her floor and she hurried in and pressed the button for the ground floor.
Her entire body was tense and it felt as if the breath was caught in her lungs. She leaned against the elevator wall and closed her eyes, taking measured breaths as the elevator descended. The elevator dinged as the doors opened at the ground floor and Sharon scraped herself off the wall and walked outside, spotting Andy standing in the lobby and waiting for her. She walked over to him and smiled, feeling the tension leaving her body and her airway clearing.
"Hi," she said in a hoarse voice and gently touched his bicep.
"Hey," he said, noticing the distressed expression on her face. "How are you holding up?" he asked.
"I'm about to lose my mind up there, but otherwise I'm fine," she replied.
"What can I do to help?" Andy has never seen her so distressed and uncomfortable in his life before, but he supposed a death in the family would bring sides of people no one normally saw.
"Just get me out of here." Her tone was desperate. "Please."
"Sure," he said. "Where do you wanna go?" he asked as they went out of the building and entered his car.
"Anywhere you want," she said as she buckled up.
Sharon stared at the waves for a long time before she turned to Andy with a miserable expression on her face. The wind whistled around them and all of the sudden Sharon seemed so thin and so fragile that he feared the wind would blow her over. They were standing on the beach that at this windy afternoon was almost empty. Sharon's jeans sleeves were rolled all the way up to her knees and she was standing in the water, letting it wet her bare feet. Her hair was flying in the wind, framing her face and at the same time making her look haunted.
"You know, it's okay for you to cry for him," Andy's voice was but a murmur. "There are no rules against it." Sharon smiled bitterly and shrugged.
"It's so stupid, Andy," she replied. "I have over fifty people in my house, my fridge is stacked with food, everyone is walking on eggshells next to me, telling me to be strong and the only thing I can think is 'Wow, they've got it all wrong'," she sighed.
"So what's really going on right now? I mean, how are you feeling about this?"
"That it's ironic; the way people remember him," Sharon replied.
"What are they saying?" Andy asked.
"He was a family man, great sense of humor, cared about doing what's right and caring for everyone around him. And I know that speaking ill about the dead is impolite, and that all of them probably don't know what he was really like, but I just… I can't go on sitting there, listening to all of these lies. It drives me nuts," she almost spat the last word. "I had to get out of there."
"I'm glad to be of service then," Andy said.
"And it's going to sound surreal, but I feel like he did it on purpose, you know?"
"What? Dying?" Andy wondered.
"Dying before I got my divorce. It's like he was trying to say 'You'll always be my wife, until the day I die and you'll never be rid of me'. And it makes me so angry, Andy."
"I don't think he planned on getting a heart attack, Sharon." Andy said. "He had a horrible timing, that's for sure."
"Yeah, I know. I'm being ridiculous." Sharon turned back to watch the waves and Andy took the liberty of wrapping one arm around her shoulders.
"I don't think you sound ridiculous, Sharon," he said softly. "I think you put up with a lot of Jack's crap and you have the right to feel angry that he once again created a mess and left you to fix it."
"I'm not even sorry that he's dead," the words escaped Sharon's lips as soon as the thought crossed her mind. Andy removed his hand from around her shoulder and shoved into his pocket.
"Sometimes I wonder if my ex-wife would think the same way if I died," Andy said, staring into the distance. Sharon turned to him.
"Oh, Andy. I never meant it like that," she said. "You are nothing like Jack. You stopped drinking, you went to AA, you got yourself together, you tried to be there for your children; All Jack ever did was run away from his addictions, from his family, from responsibility. You're not like that and I am proud of you."
"Are you really not sorry he's dead?" Andy sighed.
"I'm not happy that he's dead, Andy," Sharon said after thinking for a moment. "But the Jack that I married has been dead for over two decades. That Jack, I will always miss. The Jack that he was since then, is the one I wish I'd have never married."
"I hope it gets better from now on," Andy took her hand in his.
"You know, all I wanted was to go back to being Sharon O'Leary. Now instead of being Jack's wife, I'm Jack's widow." Sharon shook her head in disbelief.
"You know that you can always change your name back. You could be Captain O'Leary from now on," Andy grinned and saw the amused smile that spread across her face. The smile quickly disappeared and was exchanged by a serious expression.
"It's not the name I'm lamenting, Andy."
"You're only going to be Jack's widow if you think of yourself this way, but we both know that you are so much more than that, right? You are an accomplished woman and Jack had nothing to do with that." Sharon slid her arms around him and drew close to him, resting her head of his chest. Andy placed his hand on her head and held her there. She breathed his scent in. He always smelled so good, so manly and yet so gentle. She lifted her head and looked up at him. He smiled at her, his eyes warm. Standing on her toes, she brought her face close to his, spreading her lips just enough to make her intentions known but not enough to make him feel uncomfortable, in case he wasn't interested. His hand landed on her hip and pulled her closer to him before he brought his lips down to meet hers. She closed her eyes and let her mind get lost in the sensation of being close to him, of being kissed by him, of being his friend and possibly more than that. She spread her lips further and Andy's tongue accepted the invitation and crossed the threshold of her lips to explore the inside of her mouth. They had no idea how long they stood there, but the drops of rain made them draw apart and look at each other briefly before wrapping their hands around each other's shoulders and walking back the way they came.
"Where do you wanna go?" Andy asked as they went into his car, their hair and clothes slightly damp.
"I wish that I didn't have to go back there and be around all those people…" Sharon sighed.
"Well, we can go sit somewhere if you want, or if you feel like it, you can come over to my place. It's decorated for Halloween and I can make us hot chocolate or tea and we can watch movies or talk, play Scrabble or whatever else you wanna do and you can stay for however long as you want," Andy offered with a smile.
"That sounds great, Andy. I'd like that," she said, and Andy started the car and started driving out of parking lot and straight into a traffic jam. "And just so you know, I'm gonna beat you at Scrabble." Her words made Andy grin and he leaned over the armrest and pressed a quick kiss to her lips, not caring for the rain, or the red light and definitely not caring about the not so dearly departed Jackson Raydor. Sharon was not a married woman, she was not a widow; she was free at last and Andy was looking forward to explore her newfound freedom with her.
THE END
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