My name is Sonoda Umi, I'm 17, and currently in my last year at Otonokizaka High School. Actually, I'll graduate in a month, more or less. It's the time of my life when the responsablities from adulthood start downing onto me. It's not like my life is still the life I had a couple of years ago: my second year here was a blast, with all the school idol thing, and now I can count on one childhood friend less: Kotori, in fact, received a scholarship from one of the best fashion schools in the world, in France, after they learned that she designed and sewed personally almost every outfit we wore during our concerts, and she took the offer immediately. This time not me, nor my other childhood friend, Honoka, have tried to stop her: we agreed that we didn't have the right to do so anymore. And yesterday I took a decision that is going to change my life.

"You know Honoka" I say while walking to school with her.

"Umi-chan?" I see her tilt her head and look at me with those blue eyes of hers.

"Yesterday I agreed with my parents' plan to start meeting some sons of families friends of ours, in order to find a suitable husband for when I graduate from university."

"I see." She says, and for a moment I think to see her eyes darken, but then she hits me with a smile. "I hope you'll find someone that's perfect for you! Fight-o dayo Umi-chan!"

"Thanks Honoka." I giggle "It's… strange, right? It's like adulthood hit me as a train, while I'm still in high school."

"I don't think it's that bad. I mean, you will have a certainty in your life right? Look at me. I'll take over my parents' shop in a year or so, but I don't even know if I'll be able to manage it…" I see her smile drop while saying this, so I put an arm on her shoulder and turn her to look her in the eyes. "You'll do well, Honoka, I know for sure." I say, smiling. "You could even continue practicing Kendo, if you want. My dojo is always open for you."

She now has a blush on her face, that makes her kind of cute. "I… I don't think I'll be able to."

"You could make a good teacher, I think." I say, still smiling. It's true, during our first year here, she was even better than me, and she won the regional tournament. I'm sure that her skills have drained a little, she didn't train ever since the start of her school idol project, but with a little bit of refreshing she would make a great kendoka.

"If Umi-chan says so…" she turns away and enters to school, but I notice her gloomy mood.

"Is something the matter, Honoka?"

"Nothing important, don't worry" she says with a small smile, while we enter the student council room.

Paperwork and lessons took away our day, and we never touched that topic again, even because as soon as the lessons started she went back to the usual, cheery Honoka that I know, even if I could still tell that there was something wrong with her. I just wasn't able to ask her anything about it.

When I get home, at sunset as usual, after the kyudo practice at the range at school, I notice a car parked outside my house, one I had never seen in my life. As soon as I enter, I meet my mother, finely dressed.

"Umi-chan, finally!" she says to me. "The Mimasaka family is here! There is their son, with them, and he's a year older than you. They came here to visit on their own will, but he could make a good guy for you, I think."

I smile. "That's great, mother. I'll go get dressed and I'll join you as soon as possible."

Mimasaka Subaru, the son of the Mimasaka household, is a nice guy indeed. He just left, with his family, but he is polite, nice and he likes Kendo, even though he never practiced it. I have shown him some moves with the sword, and my mind went back to my practices with Honoka, the laughs, the friendly challenges, the familiar feeling that those times had. As I said earlier to my mother, there is something about Mimasaka-kun that doesn't really convince me, but I can't quite grasp what yet. Mother said not to worry, we would have been lucky if he was the right guy from the start.

A couple of weeks have passed since my meeting with Mimasaka-kun, and I have met half a dozen of potential husbands since. Some of them were the kind of guys that I would never speak to, but a couple of them were good: one of them, Kobayashi-kun reminded me of Honoka for how cheerful and nice he was, and the other, Nakajima, was a guy with a passion for motors, and his goal was to compete in a world champion for racing cars. His passion and resolve were, once again, very similar to the ones of my ginger-headed best friend, even if for a completely different topic. And yet, as I said to Honoka and my mother, there was something that I couldn't quite get that made me reject them.

Now I'm heading out from the school's archery range, at sunset as always, when I see a familiar silhouette sitting on the bench right outside.

"Honoka?"

"Oh, Umi-chan! I was waiting for you!"

A smile forms on my lips. "How long have you waited?"

"Not much, I was busy explaining to Alisa-chan the tasks of a student council president, so we finished… probably half an hour ago?" she cheerfully says, and then she goes on talking of how Alisa is just the splitting image of her sister when she is focused, and I feel my stomach contract a little, so I pass an hand on my tummy to soothe the pain.

"Umi-chan is hungry" Honoka giggles looking at me.

"Yes, I must be hungry and I didn't notice until now" I answer with a feeling of heat on my face, and then I notice that we reached her shop.

"Wait for me here, I'll give you some manjuus to bring home!" And she sprints into the shop. A minute or so later, she comes back with a bag and a package, a present maybe, in hand.

"Here. Those are for you, Umi-chan!"

"A.. Present? What for?"

"Umi-chan! What's the date today?" she says with a pout.

"March the 14 th… OH!" It's the day before my birthday and I just noticed it!

"I gave you this now because tomorrow's a Saturday, and I have to help here in the shop the whole day, so I wouldn't have been able to give it to you…" She embraces me. "Happy birthday, Umi-chan, I hope you'll like it. So don't open it before tomorrow, right?"

"Honoka…" I'm speechless. I'm lucky to have such a considerate friend, and at the same time I'm sad because I won't be able to spend my birthday with her. "Honoka, thank you so much… I'll make sure to come here tomorrow, to thank you properly."

"There is no need for it, don't worry Umi-chan." She smiles at me, but it's a different smile, a resigned one.

"I have to go now, see you Umi-chan!" And she rushes into her house again, before I am able to ask her anything.

Tonight I couldn't sleep. Honoka kept coming into my mind, her sad smile of yesterday, her slightly different mood from the last weeks, all the good moments I spent with her. Yet at some point I must have fallen asleep, because now the sun is already high in the sky, and when I check my alarm clock it reads 9:29 AM. It's so late! But I can't wait to open the present my friend gave me, so I jump out of bed and I reach for it. It is wrapped with a nice water-themed paper, and, now that I examine it closely, it has the clear form and consistency of a book. What kind of book would she give me?

I proceed to unwrap it, and, much to my surprise, is a collection of poems from one of my favourite authors, Masaoka Shiki, one of the best poets in the history of Japan. It's a book that I wanted so much now, and I almost can't believe Honoka just went and gave it to me for my birthday! I'm so happy right now, I can't stop smiling! I'm going to read it, now, no matter what!

I sit at my desk and open the book, and I'm surprised to see an envelope in it, with neat handwriting on top, that says: To Sonoda Umi.

A letter? For me? It's from Honoka, right? She gave me this, so this must me hers. I open it, and inside lays a letter indeed, but I can barely recognize her handwriting. She must have practiced it a lot before getting to write this letter this perfectly. But why would she go through improving her handwriting? I start reading the letter.

To Sonoda Umi,

Hello Umi. Happy birthday. I'm sorry to not being able to say this in person, but maybe it's better like this. I picked this book because I know you love Masaoka sensei's writings, and I wanted to make sure my probably last gift to you would have been awesome. Don't worry, I'm not sick or whatever. I just think that it's better from now on for us to see each other less and less, because I couldn't stand you getting happy with someone who isn't me. The truth is, Umi, that I love you.

What? Why is my heart pounding so fast?

I love you so much that it hurts hearing you say that you stated to meet potential husbands, it hurts hearing you talk to me about them and about how nice they were, because I want to be in their place and make you happy forever. I love you so much that spending two days in a row without you is almost unbearable for me, and I know this from our school trip of the first year of high school, when you fell sick two days before and therefore you had to skip it. It was the most awful trip of my life. Being without you, knowing that you were sick, killed my mood for the entire trip. It was when I understood, with some help from Kotori-chan, that I love you. I don't know when it started, I just know that every time you smile, my heart skips a beat, when you were on stage, dancing and singing, I swear I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life. And, ever since you started talking about husbands, my chest hurts so much I want to cry. So I wanted to give you this letter, to let you know at least my feelings, even if you don't love me back, which is clear by now, and ask you to never talk to me about this, and to be happy for me, too. Because if I can't be with you, I won't be happy. I'm sorry, Umi, I love you.

Yours truly, Kousaka Honoka.

I'm crying right now, tears are flowing from my eyes, staining Honoka's perfect handwriting. I understand now, why she seemed gloomier lately. I understand her actions, and my chest hurts, right now. And I don't want to be without her my whole life. And then it dawns on me. The reason why I wasn't convinced on anyone of my potential husbands. I start running. I run to her house, I NEED to see her now. I NEED to look into those deep blue eyes of hers, and thell her she's wrong. I ignore mother's questions, my vision is blurred by my tears, and I'm lucky that Honoka's house is a few hundred metres away from mine, because I can't see anything right now. I open the door of the shop, and she's there, surprised to see me, but I don't give her time to say anything, I tackle her into a hug, and we both fall onto the ground.

"You're wrong" I say through sobs. "You're wrong."

"About what, Umi-chan?" Her voice is cracked, she's clearly on the verge of crying.

"Everything." I calm myself down, without moving, so that she's still pinned on the floor beneath me.

"You know, Honoka, when I told you that there was something wrong in all the guys I met?" I look her straight to the eyes, and she nods.

"Thanks to your letter, I understood what." I lay down, my face is now a few inches from hers.

"They weren't you. Every time I talked to them, I thought about you. You are the one I always searched, the one that makes me happy by just…" I can't speak anymore, I feel something soft pressed on my lips, and I understand that she's kissing me. My chest is pounding so hard, I fear it will explode. But this is the best feeling in the world. I let myself melt into the kiss, I faintly feel her hands reaching my back and holding me down, and I start to feel her body under mine, it feels as if they were made to complete each other. Our lips separate, and I open my eyes, not knowing when I closed them. I look at Honoka, her face completely red, and I'm marveled at how beautiful she looks right now, and at how much I want her mine. I want to be the only one able to see her like this. Yes, I think that's it.

"I love you, Honoka." I say, and she pulls me into another kiss, this time raw, more intense and… primal I dare to say. I feel what must be her tongue on my lips, and when I open my mouth I feel her tongue onto mine, in a sensation that is at the same time new and amazing for me. We separate after what felt both an eternity and a too short span of time. I want to feel Honoka more and more again, but the need of air keeps us separate. "You really mean it?" She asks, panting heavily.

"With all my essence." I get up from the floor, pulling her up along with me, and I keep her hands into mine. "Honoka, I love you. I'm sorry for hurting you and to not have made order into my feelings before. But now that I know this, I won't let you go until I have the strength to hold you." I kiss her again.

"You did it once again, Honoka." I say, smiling and keeping her close.

"Huh? What have I done?" The confused look on her face is something that makes me want to hold her much stronger.

"You have led me into another wonderful world, and not only I didn't know that I wanted to be led there by you, I didn't even know of its existence. Please never stop, my love."

"I'll do my best."