This account is run by two people who will both take turns talking in authors' notes.
Kai: Hi guys! c:
Mato: So Smash 4 is here.
Kai: And that made us want to start writing again.
Mato: So technically we have a prequel to this story but unfortunately it isn't finished…
Kai: Smash 4 came out, so we really wanted to start writing about the new characters that made it into the game.
Mato: As much we loved Brawl we aren't really motivated to write shenanigans solely on it anymore.
Kai: That's why we're starting all over! And since Smash 4 is very recent we're going to be interested in it and this story for a long time.
Mato: I said the previous story was a prequel but you don't need to read it unless you want to understand some references we will make.
Kai: If you want to read it, it's called "A PK Smashing Experience." But since you're on this story right now, why not stay for a while? We hope you enjoy this next wacky project of ours!
Whoa! Smash Mansion got REALLY big!
Looking up from the map he received for the fourth tournament of Super Smash Bros., Ness gaped at the massive size of the remodeled mansion. Due to influx of newcomers, the whole mansion had to be rebuilt to house all of the new contestants. Despite being a veteran of the series, Ness still felt butterflies swarming around in his stomach.
As he reached the wide double doors of the auditorium entrance, he felt his sentimental side rise; he grabbed the handles of the doors dramatically, taking deep, over-exaggerated gulps of air as he attempted to calm himself.
Come on, you're a veteran! You gotta act professional around the noobies!
With one last intake of breath, Ness swung those double doors open… and was met by the intense stares of the entire cast.
"Errr…" Ness felt sweat trickle down his hat to his face. "Well, I'm late, but I'm fashionably late?"
He could almost hear the crickets.
Resigned, he dropped the act and let his shoulders slump. "I ran into a tree."*
Those in the crowd he recognized as veterans gave a collective "ahh" while the newcomers looked around in confusion. Eager to get the attention off of him, Ness quickly hurried to his seat, which was located at the end of one of the rows. As he sat down, he looked around; the fact that there were no other Mother representatives around made him feel almost… lonely.
"FALCON WELCOME, Ness!"
He whipped his head to his right. "Oh, Captain Falcon! It's good to see you again," he said animatedly. A grin made its way to Ness's face; seeing a familiar face made him feel more at home. "Are you excited for a new year?"
Captain Falcon suddenly stood up from his seat and gave Ness his signature thumbs-up. "YES!"
Someone cleared their throat from the stage. "Ahem. Now that everyone has settled, can we please begin with our opening speech?" Master Hand asked.
"YEAH, WHAT HE SAID!" Crazy Hand supplied helpfully.
Ah, good ol' Crazy Hand. Still energetic and… crazy, Ness thought.
"Welcome, everyone, to the fourth Super Smash Bros. fighting tournament!" announced Master Hand in his booming, administrative voice. "I am your host, Master Hand, and standing next to me is my co-host—"
"CRAAAAAZY HAND!"
"…Yes, well. As regulations go, we must first read you the terms and rules this contract requires you to—"
"HEY, WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS ANYWAY, BRO?"
Master Hand huffed haughtily. "It is part of the contract every fighter signed: everyone must know exactly what they have gotten themselves into so if something were to happen, we can avoid being sued."
Crazy Hand "nodded" thoughtfully. "AHHHH."
Ness held back a yawn, despite how entertaining Crazy Hand could be sometimes. He surveyed the room to find the newcomers slightly disturbed by Crazy's… craziness, while the veterans were in his boat; Yoshi was heavily asleep, a giant bubble forming out of his nose, and Bowser had a Game Boy Advance in his claws, playing a retro Mario side-scroller (and purposely killing Mario on every stage).
Master Hand began again. "This tournament is known for its competitive fights, unique in that Crazy Hand and I cast a protection spell throughout the mansion and its stages. This makes it so that during battles, nobody earns physical injuries. If, however, one were to sustain an injury outside of battle…"
Ness caught his head before it fell atop of Captain Falcon's muscly shoulder. Being a veteran, he had already heard these regulations spoken by Master Hand three times, this time being his fourth.
I have to keep myself awake somehow… Ness frowned, looking around for some entertainment in the audience. And he found it.
Two rows ahead of him were Pit and a woman he presumed to be the angel's goddess, along with a darker version of Pit. As Master Hand babbled on, the dark angel mimicked the hand's movements with his own hand. What Ness found comical about it was the fact that the dark angel's hand's movements were almost exactly the same as Master Hand's movements. To add to the hilarity, Pit imitated Crazy Hand's movements whenever he would interrupt.
"OHHH, RIGHT! THE REGULATIONS! I GET IT!"
Just as Crazy hand made a loud, twitchy snap, Pit immediately butted his hand into his twin's and made the exact same gesture. Behind them, and directly in front of Ness, Fox and Falco shook with poorly sustained laughter. Ness barely managed to hold back a snort. The green-haired goddess aside Pit simply turned away as if to say, "I don't know these two." Ness passed the time watching the two angels' shenanigans with amusement.
"Now, let us move on to introducing the newcomers."
Finally, thought Ness with a sigh of relief. Something interesting.
"Each newcomer will have a chance to get on stage and say something," explained Master Hand. "Whether it is a long speech or a short one-liner—"
"YOU BETTER MOVE THOSE LIPS QUICKLY! I'M GETTING BORED!"
The first newcomer who went onstage was a tall, graceful blonde, accompanied by a star-like creature. She bowed magnificently and spoke with elegance. "I am Rosalina, and these are my companions—" multiple colors of the star creature scattered around her, "—Lumas." All of them curtsied in a symphonic manner. "We are grateful to be here, and we hope you will take care of us."
She reminds me of my mom. Ness scratched his head. Well, not really. My mom is less graceful…
Suddenly, the lights in the room turned off. Ness frantically turned his head in the darkness, and he could hear the clamors of everyone around him. Then: a spotlight appeared in the middle of the stage, centered on a shadowy figure of Mario with a paintbrush. The heck is going on…?
The shadow Mario spun his paintbrush around pretentiously and did a few flips and spins until he pointed it toward the side of the stage. "Hit it, Roy!"
Loud music blared from who-knows-where, and one by one, lights shone on figures that looked to be shells. It was getting difficult to count all of them; two, three, four… seven new shells emerged on stage in an organized line. The shadow Mario spoke again: "Behold! The Koopa King's beloved partners-in-crime!" Individually, each shell popped open to reveal a Koopa.
"Larry!"
"Roy!"
"Wendy!"
"Iggy!"
"Morton!"
"Lemmy!"
"Ludwig!"
"And finally, yours truly…"
The shadowy figure transformed into what looked to be a baby Bowser.
"Bowser Jr.!"
"And we are…"
Together, the eight of them posed in sync.
"The Koopalings!"
Thunderous applause came from the front row. "Those are my kids!" Bowser wiped a tear from his eye. "Make daddy proud, my little tadpoles!"
Ness didn't realize until now that his mouth was gaping open throughout the whole musical. Who knew Bowser had such eccentric children…
After the Koopalings' outlandish performance strode the confident-looking green-haired goddess. Just as she was about to speak to the crowd, however…
"WOOO, Lady Palutena!"
Pit stood up from his seat, clapping and whooping animatedly.
"Thank you, Pit," was all Palutena said, in an expression Ness couldn't read. She straightened her posture and put on a charming smile. "I am Palutena, Goddess of Light, and I am thrilled to finally be a part of the well-known series known as Super Bash Sisters." From the left of the stage, Master Hand looked to say something, but Palutena continued thoughtfully: "Although, there is a significant number of men involved, more than I'd imagined…" Her smile warped into a smirk. "But no worries. I intend to thoroughly trounce every single one of you."
Ness shivered. "Did somebody turn on the AC, or is it just me?" he whispered to Captain Falcon.
Following Palutena was Pit's dark copy. Like Palutena, he wasn't given a chance to speak.
"YEAAAH, Pittoo!"
Pit's clapping turned into enthusiastic fist bumps. "Pittoo" sneered at Pit heatedly.
"For the last time, I'm DARK PIT, numbskull!"
With that, Dark Pit stomped offstage.
Ness had no comment, much like everyone else in the auditorium. By now, it was probably better not to comment.
After Dark Pit came a person that looked very much like… Marth? The only notable difference was slightly different attire and the butterfly-shaped mask covering his face.
"You may call me Marth," he said simply, before walking offstage.
The screech of a chair sliding backward rung throughout the room. Marth stood, affronted, about to speak out, but Ike managed to hold him back before the Hero King could potentially embarrass himself.
Well, if he's Marth and he's Marth… Ness's thoughts jumbled. There's probably a reason for this, but now isn't the time to dwell on it, I guess.
Next were two white-haired figures that looked almost like twins, one male and one female. They wore dark purple robes and carried several books with them.
"We are—" they both began, and stopped abruptly as they realized they spoke at the same time.
"Uh, we are…" the male started.
"…Robin," the female finished.
"And—" they both said.
Another pause.
"You go ahead."
"No, you started first."
"Together?"
"Together."
"And we're here to tip the scales!" they concluded in sync, their weapons levitating around them in some sort of whimsical manner.
Well, that was awkward.
A little boxer jogged onstage next. When he spoke, it was with a force and authority that surprised Ness.
"Let's get one thing clear: don't call me Little. Don't call me Little Mac. Don't call me anything close to any of those things. Just call me Mac, and we'll be okay."
He finished with a punch in the air, and made his way down the steps.
Sweat trickled down Ness's forehead. It's a good thing he can't read minds.
Suddenly, a dark figure materialized seemingly out of nowhere, hanging upside down from the ceiling.
"IS THAT MEWTWO?!" someone screamed.
In a ninja-like fashion, the figure swiftly landed on the ground and revealed itself to be what Ness assumed to be a Pokémon. It wasn't Mewtwo (seriously, what was that guy thinking?) but a blue, frog-like creature with a pink "scarf" wrapped around its neck and mouth. It posed, lifting up its arms with water spouting from its palms.
"Gre!"
Just as quickly as it came, it disappeared in a blur.
First, there was silence. Then came applause and whistles from the crowd. Ness heard some fighters telling each other "I wanna fight that guy!" and "Soooo cool!"
Soooo cool, Ness agreed.
Shortly after the crowd's applause died down, Ness heard fluttering from ahead. A duck was flying around Fox and Falco, pecking at the latter's face. Falco seemed to grow irritated so quickly that he whipped out his blaster and began to shoot at it. Fox looked on amusedly until he became the victim of the duck as well; he too promptly began to shoot at it. ROB, trying to be helpful, also started shooting beams into the air. For some reason, however, none of them were able to hit the irritating creature.
Through all the commotion, Ness could barely see a dog onstage, laughing. Laughing at Fox's, Falco's, and soon enough, everyone's failed attempts to hit the duck. Even Ness was tempted to use PK Thunder after it almost stole his hat (That came from Lucas, birdbrain!), but he resisted, as he didn't want to be trolled by the cackling dog. He sucked in a breath and sulked in his seat.
"At least King** isn't like that," muttered Ness, crossing his arms.
Master Hand had to shoo the dog-and-duck duo offstage (and slap Crazy Hand, since he was also trying to grab the duck in his giant clutch, forcing many startled fighters to duck for cover).
After the dog-and-duck shenanigans ended, Ness was filled with dread as a boy with a number one shirt made his way onstage. T-that's the kid that is supposedly a mass murderer in his own world…
The boy whipped out a green leaf and threw it onto the ground before him, causing smoke to surround him. Ness's heart rate quickened in fear. It's a bomb—he's going to blow us all up! When the smoke dissipated, however, in its place stood a large podium. The boy placed his hands on top of it and began to speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen of this fourth annual Super Smash Bros. tournament," he started professionally. "Some of you may be nervous to see me up here because of the rumors that have spread around since my announcement trailer, but do not fear!" he exclaimed, waving his hands around presidentially. "I am known as Villager, and I can assure you that as mayor in my own hometown, I have responsibilities to my people that disprove such radical claims. Rest assured, I am not here to kill you all. Rather, I am thankful—no, honored—to be able to participate in such a renowned event." He bowed. "Some of you may not believe me right away, but still I have a request for everyone: please take good care of me!"
Booming snapplause came from the front-corner of the room. Crazy Hand was snapping his fingers tearfully. "BRAVO! BRAVO, MAYORLINESS!" He nudged his brother. "HIS SPEECH SKILLS RIVAL YOURS, BRO!"
The audience had mixed reactions. Some of the nervous, wary fighters like Luigi and Diddy Kong caught each other's eyes and shrugged. Others were truly touched by Villager's words and were clapping excitedly, such as Toon Link and Kirby, and Captain Falcon next to Ness. When the Onett boy saw Captain Falcon wiping his eyes of tears, he thought, Eh, what the heck. Surely someone like that can't be all that bad, and started clapping as well.
A pair of lean humans in fitness clothing was next. The two started stretching onstage for so long that people began looking around in confusion.
Ness started to whisper to Captain Falcon. "I think we're supposed to join them."
The female gasped and looked as if she had just broken out of a trance. She faced the audience. "That's an excellent idea! Everyone, stand up and stretch those shoulders!"
"You've all been sitting for such a long time. Let's get the blood running in those legs of yours!" the male supplied, posing with one leg against his thigh and his arms above his head.
Ness could tell that everyone was reluctant when they stood up from their chairs. All fighters followed their directions and tried their best to do what they called the "Tree" pose. Despite considering himself really fit, Ness found the exercise difficult. He shook with imbalance and could barely hold himself up the more time passed.
"What's the point of this?" Wario sneered, lounging comfortably in his chair. "The only exercise I need is… oh wait, none. Because I would beat everyone in battle anyway! Wahahaha!"
A large green ball smacked him right in the face.
"Work hard to tone that tummy," said female Wii Fit Trainer.
"Firm up those abs," said male Wii Fit Trainer.
Wario groaned and wiped his bloody nose.
"Also, just in case anyone gets injured outside of battle," added the female trainer, "we'll often be in the hospital wing aside from the gym, so we can help with your physical therapy. We also hold yoga classes in the Sandbag Room every morning at 5:30 AM."
"Ah, I would also like to add something," an Italian-laced voice from the front chimed in. Mario suddenly walked up to the stage with the trainers in a lab coat.
Wait, thought Ness, is that Dr. Mario? He's returned from Melee!
"These two will be my assistants in the Smash Hospital, as they are, ah, very knowledgeable in the subject of anatomy. They will be the main physical therapists, but I will be the main doctor to treat wounds—as there are a lot." At this remark, Dr. Mario gave pointed stares at certain Smashers—King Dedede and Luigi in particular.
"Thanks for everyone's time. And remember," the male Wii Fit Trainer began, looking at his female counterpart with a knowing glance. They nodded and posed in sync, sending a sunny ball of some sort of energy at everyone's way. All Smashers ducked instinctively as the ball dissipated above their heads.
"Salute the sun!"
They jogged offstage. The next newcomer was someone everyone knew; for whatever reason, he looked reluctant to go onstage. When he made it to center-stage, Ness couldn't help himself, and apparently, nobody else could.
"I'M REALLY FEELING IT!" everyone cheered.
"Are you really feeling it, Shulk?" male Robin asked seriously.
Shulk groaned and tilted his head back. "I saw this coming… I had the power to change the future and I didn't," he said, resignation tinged in his British accent. Still everyone cheered as he trudged down the steps.
Crazy Hand suddenly butted in. "WAIT! BEFORE WE CONTINUE…" He pointed himself at Mario. "YOU! COME ON STAGE!" Ness assumed that whatever would happen right now was staged, but Mario looked confused as he stood up. As soon as the plumber got onstage, Crazy Hand continued: "OKAY, GUYS! ARE YOUR BODIES READY?!"
A blue figure sped up the steps and gave a grin and a thumbs-up, revealing Sonic the Hedgehog. "Sonic's the name, speed's my game!"
The line was cheesy, but it still got him significant applause. The Brawlers in the audience cheered.
"Hey, FALCON WELCOME back, Sonic!"
"Poyo!"
"BUT THAT'S NOT ALL…" Crazy Hand said ominously.
A yellow circle appeared. Ness scratched his head. It looked two-dimensional and plain. Uh, is this a fighter? Suddenly, a portion of the circle opened, revealing a triangle-shaped mouth. And then: understanding.
"THEY INVITED PAC-MAN?!"
"OHHHHH!"
"PAC-MAN!"
Pac-Man inverted into 3D and gave a thumbs-up, winking at the crowd. Another figure teleported next to him in a flash of blue. This fighter stood up from his crouched position, pointing one of his cannons into the air. Screams boomed throughout the auditorium.
"MEGA MAN!"
"THE SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT!"
"I KNEW IT!"
Maybe Ness was too thrilled with the reveal of two of his idols to see it clearly, but he could have sworn he saw Sonic grumble to himself as he crossed his arms next to Pac-Man and Mega Man. Mario scratched his head, dumbfounded, but a smile made its way to his face as the excitement of the news settled in.
The sound of a camera flashing resonated throughout the room. Master Hand and Crazy Hand had posed to create a rectangular shape, momentarily transforming into a camera. They separated, Crazy Hand wiping "tears" off of his "eyes."
"NOW ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL," he sniffled. "SUCH AN ICONIC SIGHT!"
After all the hype had simmered down in each Smasher, Master Hand began to speak.
"Now that newcomer introductions are complete, we will now announce—"
"ROOMMATES! HELL YEAH!"
With a snap of his fingers, Master Hand displayed a projection screen that depicted everyone's room assignments, floor, numbers, and locations. But only one thing was important to Ness right now: his roommate. He was disappointed when there was no list of roommate pairs. I guess I'll just have to be surprised…
"Newcomers will be paired with veterans, unless a fighter has an alternate form of him or herself," stated Master Hand.
"NOW YOU NEWCOMERS HAVE AN OLDER SIBLING TO LOOK UP TO! LET'S ALL BE FAMILY!" Crazy Hand danced around in delight.
"Everyone line up to get your room keys—"
"AND LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!"
Dear Lucas,
Hey! How's it going at Tazmily Village? I hope Claus isn't being too much for you. If he is, you should send Boney after him. I remember you saying that always works.
Anyway, I just settled in. I'm in my room now, but I'm still waiting for my roommate to arrive. Apparently, this year veterans are being paired up with newcomers since there are so many of them. I'm really nervous; is that normal? I know I should be excited, but it's also nerve-wracking knowing you're about to become a person somebody looks up to for the next year. I just hope he's friendly, at the very least.
So… It's really weird not having you here. I'll admit that the whole time they were introducing newcomers, even though I was next to someone as energetically-infectious as Captain Falcon, it wasn't as fun reacting to them without you there. I never realized how much it meant to me having another friend from my series with me in these tournaments.
I'm about to cry, man. Sniff. Okay, so I can help with my loneliness here, I'll make you a promise. I'm going to write you a letter every day. I'm going to tell you about what happens during my day and capture a moment that summarizes it in a picture with my camera. That way, we get to keep in touch.
I'm going to end the letter here. I just want you to know that I really miss you and that this will probably be a really bittersweet tourney for me. But I'll stay strong! For the both of us! :D
Fuzzy pickles,
Ness
The camera shutter went off as Ness took a picture of himself, the fingers on his hand forming a peace sign. He shook the film around to develop and print the picture. He grinned at his first official snapshot of himself at Smash Mansion in a long time; he could still hardly believe that this was the fourth tournament he was participating in. Even though Lucas wasn't around to accompany him this time, he still planned to make the best of the tourney and the best of new friends.
Ness grabbed a paperclip and attached the picture to the letter addressed to Lucas. As he began clipping the two together, however, he noticed something in the picture. He stared more closely—and his stomach dropped in horror.
On the picture was a face—a face peeking into the room from the doorway. The face of the Villager.
*This is a reference to the prequel A PK Smashing Experience Chapter 1.
**King is the name of Ness's dog.
Unlike Ness, you can catch the full list of roommates here:
Mario and Dr. Mario
Luigi and Bowser Jr.
Roy and Ludwig
Morton and Larry
Iggy, Lemmy, and Wendy
Link and Toon Link
Zelda and Sheik
Samus and Zero Suit Samus
Robin (Male) and Robin (Female)
Yoshi and Greninja
Wii Fit Trainer (Female) and Wii Fit Trainer (Male)
Donkey Kong and Little Mac
Ness and Villager
Mr. Game and Watch and Pac-man
Sonic and Mega Man
Ike and Shulk
Jigglypuff and Rosalina & Luma
Kirby and Duck Hunt
Peach and Palutena
Captain Falcon and Dark Pit
Pit and Marth
Diddy Kong and Falco
Wario and ROB
Lucario and Fox
Pikachu and Lucina
Olimar and King Dedede
Meta Knight and Ganondorf
Bowser and Charizard
Mii Fighters
If you see a pair you find interesting and can't wait for us to write about, tell us! We might be motivated enough to crank out their chapter more quickly than the rest.
Mato: Left you on a cliffhanger for Halloween haha
Kai: So fitting for the Villager to be Ness's roommate just in time for the holidays xD
Mato: So do you think the Villager's speech was sincere or that it was all a façade?
Kai: You know… We wrote it and I still don't fully understand the Villager.
Mato: Yeah I guess we'll have to figure him out… NEXT TIME!
Kai: Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of Ness's journey in the Smash 4 tournament! c: