A/N: This was another of my great Midnight Plot Bunny Attacks. I quite like it. I added the nickname Duke gave Mulcahy in the book (and the movie, if you haven't read the book) because I think it's a great nickname and it should've carried over into the show. Anyway. I'm watching the series right now and I wrote this before I say "Hanky Panky," so I guess it takes place before that. Anyway, this can be seen as either misunderstood Hero Worship or Slash, whichever you prefer. Enjoy, please review.
Disclaimer: I don't own MASH
Confession with Dago Red
The knocking on my door started sharp and sure, but it quickly faded out uncertainly. I folded up the letter I had been reading and set it aside.
"Come in," I said, my eyes on the door. It opened slowly and BJ Hunnicut stepped inside. He stood just barely in the room, the door smacking against his back as it swung closed. His hands were deep in his pockets and his troubled gaze was focused on a point somewhere behind me.
"BJ, what's troubling you?" I queried. His eyes flicked to mine, the bright blue clouded with whatever was weighing on him; but just as our eyes locked he flicked his away again, catching sight of the letter lying on my desk.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, Father," he said, nodding to the paper. I shook my head.
"Not at all BJ, just a letter from an old friend," I assured him. He nodded and took a step further into my tent, his eyes still on the letter. He stopped and a puzzled look crossed is face, he placed a hand on the envelope and pulled it into view.
"Dago Red?" he inquired. I smiled.
"Just an old nickname given me by a young surgeon who, I'm afraid, you never had the pleasure of meeting," I said, forcing my mind to remain in the present and not slip off into memories. BJ nodded, pushing the envelope back under the letter.
"Trapper?" he asked, I shook my head.
"Duke Forrest," I said. "But, I'm sure you didn't come here to discuss my nicknames, BJ. Was there something on your mind?" BJ nodded again, slowly, stepping even further into my tent.
"I'm not quite sure where to begin, Father," he said, his voice as sure as ever even as those words of uncertainty slipped from his lips. I smiled and gestured to the chair across from mine.
"You can start by sitting down," I said. He nodded and sat. "Now, whenever you're ready, my son, you can get it off your chest." Again, he nodded, clearing his throat softly as his head moved slowly up and down. He leaned forward, but quickly pulled away when his clenched fist brushed my knee.
"Well, I guess I've got a bit of a confession to make," he said, his voice faltering for the first time since he'd entered my tent, perhaps even since I'd known him.
"Oh?" I prompted. He rocked back and forth in his chair.
"So, what do I say? 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned?'" he asked in an obvious effort to lighten his own mood.
"If you wish," I replied. "Or even 'Dago Red,'" I added subconsciously. I regretted the words the moment they left my lips, and as BJ's nervous laughter filled my ears I feared that I had lost him.
"I think I'll stick with 'Father,'" he said. I nodded, not speaking, leaving it open for him to continue.
"I've come frighteningly close to being unfaithful to my wife," he said quietly.
"Ah, so far from home with so many nurses?" I asked. "Temptation is understandable." He shook his head and the situation went from understandable to confusing.
"Not the nurses, Father," he explained. "My roommate."
I very nearly asked which one.
"Hawkeye?" I said as a quiet prompt. He confirmed it with yet another nod. "And you're feeling confused because you're married and also because the temptation is another man?"
"Well, you see, Father, I've stayed faithful to Peg easily so far, especially where the nurses are concerned, but Hawkeye's just…," he trailed off, sanding and pacing in the silence that followed. I began to feel that it was my duty to say something, but I was unsure of what would comfort my agitated friend. A silent prayer ran through my mind as I watched him walk back and forth across the confines of my tent, and the words came.
"We all find ourselves tempted, BJ," I said, keeping my voice soft and reassuring. "Lust is simply anoth-"
"It's not lust, Father," he interrupted quickly. "Oh, no. If it were, it'd be easier to deal with. Hell, if it was lust I probably wouldn't be here." He stopped pacing, his eyes on me. "Sorry, Father."
His rant had gone so far I'd nearly forgotten what the apology tacked on the end was for.
"It's quite all right," I said quickly. "Why don't you have a seat and explain it to me?" I suggested. BJ didn't move.
"It's just, there's something about him," he said, his voice a whisper. "How he keeps everyone's spirits up in this shitty time. How he can tell a ridiculous lie to a superior officer without a hint of worry on his face. And, most of all how he can stop all that goofing off whenever he needs to and give someone advice.
"Father, something about him gets me. It makes me wish I could be with him forever. Makes me want to wrap him up in my arms at night and keep the war away.
"Father," he took a deep breath. "I've fallen in love with Hawkeye Pierce."
My vision blurred for a moment as unexplained tears filled them and threatened to trickle down my cheeks. I blinked them away, removing my glasses for a moment to rub them from my eyes. As I replaced my glasses, I stood and placed a hand on BJ's shoulder.
"What would you like me to do?" I asked. BJ smiled.
"I think just you listening may have helped," he said. "But if you have any advice or, well, anything, Father…"
"I find no fault in admiration of one's friends, BJ," I assured him. "Perhaps you have been looking at this from the wrong direction." BJ's smile grew and he clapped my shoulder.
"Thanks…Dago Red," he said before turning to leave. I nodded and stayed rooted where I was, perplexed. I turned my gaze upward.
"Grant BJ guidance and wisdom," I prayed. "Show him the path you wish for him to take.
"Amen."