Disclaimer- None of the characters portrayed here belong to us…well
Lucretia and Anjie do, but other than that. Renaissance people belong to
REC corp and The Weiss boys belong to Koyasu Takehito. Please don't sue us,
we're broke as well…we just have no money. ^_^;;
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Er…
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"White hunters in the dark! Hunt the tomorrow of these dark beasts!"
The holographic Persia made his obligatory incantation and then vanished with the TV screen.
"K'so!" exclaimed Hidaka Ken, eager for action. "Manipulating all those people. Who does that scum think he is?" "Steady there KenKen, you'll give yourself a nosebleed." Kudou Yohji's voice was lazy as his lithe hands lit up a cigarette. "And anyway, this one doesn't sound so bad. I mean, music's sort of addictive anyway. What's the harm in giving people what they want?"
"Are you nuts!" Sputtered Ken. Manx took his side. "The 'harm', Yohji is in producing a sound so potent that it will either render its listeners' senseless or drive them insane." "Well I thought it was kinda catchy." "Argh!" Manx threw her hands up in defeat.
"Well I think it's creepy. It reminds me of Wunder X." Tsukiyono Omi gave a small shudder.
"Where do we find the beast?" The baritone query sliced through all petty chatter. Manx smiled slightly. At least SOMEONE around here was professional. She turned to the impassive Fujimiya Aya. "His name is- hold on I had to write it down." Manx fumbled with her papers until she produced a small index card. "Here we go. His name is Villadiego Raimund Serrano de la Espada."
Three sets of eyebrows went up. "Bet he has his own zip code." Said Yohji mildly. "He's known as just Diego." Said Manx. "Or as 'Diamond Freak'. That's his underworld name." "Wish I'd thought of it." Commented Yohji.
Manx shot him a look.
" 'Diamond Freak's' partner is someone known as 'Velvet Venus'. Apparently this individual is his constant companion, but we have no idea what he or she looks like. But Velvet Venus is the one who carries Diamond Freak's drug supply. You must destroy both leaders and whatever shipment they have on them. Got that?" "What's the name of this music-drug again?" cut in Yohji. Manx stared him down. "You know perfectly well-" "I forgot." Manx sighed. "Auntee. The drug is called Auntee." Appreciative laughter erupted from Yohji. Ken and Omi joined in seconds later.
"Auntee!"
"That is THE weakest name for a drug ever!"
"Hello, would you like some Auntee?" This continued until-
"SHUT UP!!"
Aya had such a way with words. The other thtee assassins immediately composed themselves. "So where do we find the targets?" Aya asked Manx. "Bristol, Wisconsin. United States." She replied handing out plane tickets and fake passports. "He'll be at a place called the Bristol Renaissance Faire." Manx began passing out souvenir booklets. "You might say it's his day-job. Oh and by the way." She added as she left. "leave your assassin outfits at home. Try and blend in this time." Four shocked and puzzled assassins stared into the space where Manx had been.
"Bristol Renaissance Faire?"
"Wisconsin?"
"United States."
"United States. United States!?! Bristol Wisconsin in the United States! Beer, Brats, and Babes! Oh God in heaven you are too good to me!" Three assassins watched in horror as Yohji did a boogie dance to celebrate his good fortune. "On second thought, maybe some 'Auntee' would do him some good…" muttered Ken.
~~~~~~
"Genesis!"
"Harry Belafonte!"
"AC/DC!"
"Placebo!"
The drive from Milwaukee's Mitchell International Airport to the Bristol Renaissance Faire was a typical Schwarz road trip in every sense of the word. The war for domination of the CD player was no exception.
"Harry Belafonte? Crawford, I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own room, as long as you KEEP your waek-ass CD collection locked up there!"
If Crawford's hands weren't at 10 and 2, they'd be at 9 and 3 around Schuldich's neck. The Precog glared ominously into the rear-view mirror and blocked his mind so that the telepath wouldn't see the revenge he was plotting.
"Genesis!"
"AC/DC!"
"Placebo!"
"Nagi, Placebo's so angsty! What we need now is some crotch rock! You know, get the blood flowing!" "I'm an angst ridden teenager, what do you expect?" Nagi rolled his eyes and gave up. Schuldich got his hopes up ~Two down, one to go~
"Genesis!"
"AC/DC!"
"Far-fieeee." Schuldich whined, pouting into his super-kawaii koi's fave. "Why do you wanna listen to crappy 'Ol Genesis anyway?"
"He He, Peter Gabriel hurts God" answered the Irishman, turning briefly from his new set of steak knives. The German sighed. "Can I just listen to my theme song? Hten we can hurt God all the way to Bristol."
Farfarello thought for a moment. "Okay." He finally agreed.
"Nagi, the envelope please."
The AC/DC CD levitated into the player. Soon the BMW pulsed with the strains of Schuldich's favorite song, appropriately titled "Dirty Deeds."
"Schu?"
"Yes, my pet?"
"Say it." Farfarello reached for his lover's hand.
Schuldich sighed, summoning all his foppishness.
"Willst du…Auntee?" he inquired suggestively, with a smirk and a twitch of his orange eyebrows.
The whole car erupted in laughter. It was gonna be a good mission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yohji looked in horror at the outfit he was being forced to wear. Granted it didn't look SO bad on the hanger, but now that he was wearing it…Omi sniffled in the back of the van. "Manx said blend in." Aya declared loudly. "WE'RE WEARING TIGHTS!!!" "WAHHHHHH!" Omi wailed in the back. Ken was less than amused. "Hey, where's this supposed to go?" Ken held the costume piece gingerly. "Uh Ken…that's a cod piece…it goes on your…" Yohji whispered the tail endo of the sentence into the unsuspecting Ken's ear. The blonde man laughed as Ken blushed brighter than Aya's hair. Aya toyed with the strap that attached his katana to the rest of his outfit. The three assassins that had chose to exit the van were all dressed similar, save for the color scheme. Ken was in green, Aya in red (which clashed badly with his hair), and Yohji in blue. Aya's gloved hand reached into the back of the van and pulled out a very unwilling Omi. The small teen wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "Why me?" he whined. "Because you're the most effeminate, and I dressed in drag the last two times." Ken said, laughing at Omi in full drag, bodice and all. The motely group made their way to the entrance, where some hysteria was going on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A red haired man glared down at Ken from the stage. He held a spear tightly in his right hand. Ken looked innocently up at him. Schuldich pondered the phallicity of the picture in front of him. He sent psychic messages of things we wish to not mention here to the scarred man beside him. Omi blinked as the red head was approached by a man with a noose wrapped around his person. "Oswald, cease thine intimidation. Sir Edward Coke comes." The two turned to the center of the stage and knelt as a man in all black came on. He looked at the crowd. "Silence you rabble!" He barked. Two females in matching blue dresses (although one's was darker shades than the other's.) stealthily snuck up behind the kneeling men. The girl in the lighter skirt jumped up on stage while the other pounced on the back of a man in all black, holding a straw hat to his chest. "Good Morrow Diego!" she chirped. The man yelling at the crowd glared at the first girl. "Anjie, wouldst thou kindly remove thineself from the stage whilst I am talking?!" "Why Sir Coke, I am mearly attempting to attract the attention of yon gentleman." She winked at Yohji. "AND to turn thine eyes from Mistriss Lucretia and Master Diego." Edward turned slowly to see Lucretia nose to nose with his Spanish guard. "MORTH!" Another man rose from his kneeling position, slapped Diego on the back of the head and roughly pulled Lucretia to her feet. Much confusion did ensue, and the Sea Dogs were able to seemingly appear out of nowhere and stop all conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ken's mind was blank.
"What – The – Fuck?"
Well, not quite blank. The girkined assassin was standing in immense confusion watching the strange scene play out in front of him. He was pretty good at English, but the way these people talked was just baffling. 'Is this some weird American thing?' he wondered. "Oi Aya. What's with these people?" His wine-haired teammate turned to him. "They're actors. They want us to believe we're in the English Renaissance."
"But I hate history!"
"Daijoubou Ken-kun! It'll be fun!" Chimed Omi, trying to distract himself from the fact that he was in a dress. His English was better than Ken's, so he was having an easier time.
"But I can't understand a word their saying!"
Aya sighed. Ken was becoming a spaz.
"Just do the best you can." He told him.
"So Yohji-kun., how dost thou fare?" asked Omi, making a feeble attempt to get into the mood.
"Hmm?"
Omi sighed. Yohji's English was worse than Ken's. He'd have to speak more modern.
"How are you doing, Yohji-Kun?"
"Hmm?"
Omi raised an eyebrow. Yohji's English wasn't THAT bad.
"Oo genki desuka?"
"Hmm?"
"ARGH! I GIVE UP!!" Exclaimed Omi, is effeminate voice breaking.
"Oh! Did you say something Omi? Sorry, I wasn't listening."
"What's got you so distracted Yohji-kun?"
"Her." Replied the older man, gesturing to the stage. Omi looked to where Yohji pointed. The shock took a second to register, but when it did he gave a little shriek.
"Yohji-Kun! That's a –a –a GOAT!" cried a horrified assassin in disguise.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors' Note – Well, for now we're just gonna leave it there. It's almost midnight and we're both tired. There was a lot more conversation between Coke and the SeaDogs, but we cut most of that. It hasn't much to do with the plot anyway. ^_^ Besides…we're tired.
We'll add part two later! OYASUMI NASAI MINNA-SAN!!!
~Peregrine and Kestrel
*~*~*~*~*~
Er…
*~*~*~*~*~
"White hunters in the dark! Hunt the tomorrow of these dark beasts!"
The holographic Persia made his obligatory incantation and then vanished with the TV screen.
"K'so!" exclaimed Hidaka Ken, eager for action. "Manipulating all those people. Who does that scum think he is?" "Steady there KenKen, you'll give yourself a nosebleed." Kudou Yohji's voice was lazy as his lithe hands lit up a cigarette. "And anyway, this one doesn't sound so bad. I mean, music's sort of addictive anyway. What's the harm in giving people what they want?"
"Are you nuts!" Sputtered Ken. Manx took his side. "The 'harm', Yohji is in producing a sound so potent that it will either render its listeners' senseless or drive them insane." "Well I thought it was kinda catchy." "Argh!" Manx threw her hands up in defeat.
"Well I think it's creepy. It reminds me of Wunder X." Tsukiyono Omi gave a small shudder.
"Where do we find the beast?" The baritone query sliced through all petty chatter. Manx smiled slightly. At least SOMEONE around here was professional. She turned to the impassive Fujimiya Aya. "His name is- hold on I had to write it down." Manx fumbled with her papers until she produced a small index card. "Here we go. His name is Villadiego Raimund Serrano de la Espada."
Three sets of eyebrows went up. "Bet he has his own zip code." Said Yohji mildly. "He's known as just Diego." Said Manx. "Or as 'Diamond Freak'. That's his underworld name." "Wish I'd thought of it." Commented Yohji.
Manx shot him a look.
" 'Diamond Freak's' partner is someone known as 'Velvet Venus'. Apparently this individual is his constant companion, but we have no idea what he or she looks like. But Velvet Venus is the one who carries Diamond Freak's drug supply. You must destroy both leaders and whatever shipment they have on them. Got that?" "What's the name of this music-drug again?" cut in Yohji. Manx stared him down. "You know perfectly well-" "I forgot." Manx sighed. "Auntee. The drug is called Auntee." Appreciative laughter erupted from Yohji. Ken and Omi joined in seconds later.
"Auntee!"
"That is THE weakest name for a drug ever!"
"Hello, would you like some Auntee?" This continued until-
"SHUT UP!!"
Aya had such a way with words. The other thtee assassins immediately composed themselves. "So where do we find the targets?" Aya asked Manx. "Bristol, Wisconsin. United States." She replied handing out plane tickets and fake passports. "He'll be at a place called the Bristol Renaissance Faire." Manx began passing out souvenir booklets. "You might say it's his day-job. Oh and by the way." She added as she left. "leave your assassin outfits at home. Try and blend in this time." Four shocked and puzzled assassins stared into the space where Manx had been.
"Bristol Renaissance Faire?"
"Wisconsin?"
"United States."
"United States. United States!?! Bristol Wisconsin in the United States! Beer, Brats, and Babes! Oh God in heaven you are too good to me!" Three assassins watched in horror as Yohji did a boogie dance to celebrate his good fortune. "On second thought, maybe some 'Auntee' would do him some good…" muttered Ken.
~~~~~~
"Genesis!"
"Harry Belafonte!"
"AC/DC!"
"Placebo!"
The drive from Milwaukee's Mitchell International Airport to the Bristol Renaissance Faire was a typical Schwarz road trip in every sense of the word. The war for domination of the CD player was no exception.
"Harry Belafonte? Crawford, I don't care what you do in the privacy of your own room, as long as you KEEP your waek-ass CD collection locked up there!"
If Crawford's hands weren't at 10 and 2, they'd be at 9 and 3 around Schuldich's neck. The Precog glared ominously into the rear-view mirror and blocked his mind so that the telepath wouldn't see the revenge he was plotting.
"Genesis!"
"AC/DC!"
"Placebo!"
"Nagi, Placebo's so angsty! What we need now is some crotch rock! You know, get the blood flowing!" "I'm an angst ridden teenager, what do you expect?" Nagi rolled his eyes and gave up. Schuldich got his hopes up ~Two down, one to go~
"Genesis!"
"AC/DC!"
"Far-fieeee." Schuldich whined, pouting into his super-kawaii koi's fave. "Why do you wanna listen to crappy 'Ol Genesis anyway?"
"He He, Peter Gabriel hurts God" answered the Irishman, turning briefly from his new set of steak knives. The German sighed. "Can I just listen to my theme song? Hten we can hurt God all the way to Bristol."
Farfarello thought for a moment. "Okay." He finally agreed.
"Nagi, the envelope please."
The AC/DC CD levitated into the player. Soon the BMW pulsed with the strains of Schuldich's favorite song, appropriately titled "Dirty Deeds."
"Schu?"
"Yes, my pet?"
"Say it." Farfarello reached for his lover's hand.
Schuldich sighed, summoning all his foppishness.
"Willst du…Auntee?" he inquired suggestively, with a smirk and a twitch of his orange eyebrows.
The whole car erupted in laughter. It was gonna be a good mission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yohji looked in horror at the outfit he was being forced to wear. Granted it didn't look SO bad on the hanger, but now that he was wearing it…Omi sniffled in the back of the van. "Manx said blend in." Aya declared loudly. "WE'RE WEARING TIGHTS!!!" "WAHHHHHH!" Omi wailed in the back. Ken was less than amused. "Hey, where's this supposed to go?" Ken held the costume piece gingerly. "Uh Ken…that's a cod piece…it goes on your…" Yohji whispered the tail endo of the sentence into the unsuspecting Ken's ear. The blonde man laughed as Ken blushed brighter than Aya's hair. Aya toyed with the strap that attached his katana to the rest of his outfit. The three assassins that had chose to exit the van were all dressed similar, save for the color scheme. Ken was in green, Aya in red (which clashed badly with his hair), and Yohji in blue. Aya's gloved hand reached into the back of the van and pulled out a very unwilling Omi. The small teen wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. "Why me?" he whined. "Because you're the most effeminate, and I dressed in drag the last two times." Ken said, laughing at Omi in full drag, bodice and all. The motely group made their way to the entrance, where some hysteria was going on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A red haired man glared down at Ken from the stage. He held a spear tightly in his right hand. Ken looked innocently up at him. Schuldich pondered the phallicity of the picture in front of him. He sent psychic messages of things we wish to not mention here to the scarred man beside him. Omi blinked as the red head was approached by a man with a noose wrapped around his person. "Oswald, cease thine intimidation. Sir Edward Coke comes." The two turned to the center of the stage and knelt as a man in all black came on. He looked at the crowd. "Silence you rabble!" He barked. Two females in matching blue dresses (although one's was darker shades than the other's.) stealthily snuck up behind the kneeling men. The girl in the lighter skirt jumped up on stage while the other pounced on the back of a man in all black, holding a straw hat to his chest. "Good Morrow Diego!" she chirped. The man yelling at the crowd glared at the first girl. "Anjie, wouldst thou kindly remove thineself from the stage whilst I am talking?!" "Why Sir Coke, I am mearly attempting to attract the attention of yon gentleman." She winked at Yohji. "AND to turn thine eyes from Mistriss Lucretia and Master Diego." Edward turned slowly to see Lucretia nose to nose with his Spanish guard. "MORTH!" Another man rose from his kneeling position, slapped Diego on the back of the head and roughly pulled Lucretia to her feet. Much confusion did ensue, and the Sea Dogs were able to seemingly appear out of nowhere and stop all conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ken's mind was blank.
"What – The – Fuck?"
Well, not quite blank. The girkined assassin was standing in immense confusion watching the strange scene play out in front of him. He was pretty good at English, but the way these people talked was just baffling. 'Is this some weird American thing?' he wondered. "Oi Aya. What's with these people?" His wine-haired teammate turned to him. "They're actors. They want us to believe we're in the English Renaissance."
"But I hate history!"
"Daijoubou Ken-kun! It'll be fun!" Chimed Omi, trying to distract himself from the fact that he was in a dress. His English was better than Ken's, so he was having an easier time.
"But I can't understand a word their saying!"
Aya sighed. Ken was becoming a spaz.
"Just do the best you can." He told him.
"So Yohji-kun., how dost thou fare?" asked Omi, making a feeble attempt to get into the mood.
"Hmm?"
Omi sighed. Yohji's English was worse than Ken's. He'd have to speak more modern.
"How are you doing, Yohji-Kun?"
"Hmm?"
Omi raised an eyebrow. Yohji's English wasn't THAT bad.
"Oo genki desuka?"
"Hmm?"
"ARGH! I GIVE UP!!" Exclaimed Omi, is effeminate voice breaking.
"Oh! Did you say something Omi? Sorry, I wasn't listening."
"What's got you so distracted Yohji-kun?"
"Her." Replied the older man, gesturing to the stage. Omi looked to where Yohji pointed. The shock took a second to register, but when it did he gave a little shriek.
"Yohji-Kun! That's a –a –a GOAT!" cried a horrified assassin in disguise.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors' Note – Well, for now we're just gonna leave it there. It's almost midnight and we're both tired. There was a lot more conversation between Coke and the SeaDogs, but we cut most of that. It hasn't much to do with the plot anyway. ^_^ Besides…we're tired.
We'll add part two later! OYASUMI NASAI MINNA-SAN!!!
~Peregrine and Kestrel