Notes: This is a re-write. If you remember the TV series 'Mad About You', this might seem a bit familiar ;)
Blaine doesn't see Kurt when he walks into their apartment. He's sitting at the kitchen table when Kurt storms though the door. But he hears his fiancé's footsteps, and they sound harried, the way they have for the past few weeks.
"Hey, Kurt," Blaine calls from the kitchen, knowing full well that, by announcing his presence, he may have tossed himself into the path of an oncoming hurricane. "Rachel said she was feeling under the weather – something about a flu going around the theater - so I sent her home. To be honest, I think she was a little hung over from that cast party last night. Anyway, I'm finishing up her half of the net baggies of pastel almonds and-"
"Forget it!" Kurt yells, peeling off his slush-soaked coat and dropping it to the floor with a wet sploitch before Blaine has a chance to come in and help him. "Just … just stop everything because we're not having this wedding!"
"Uh-oh." Blaine abandons the tulle and the almonds and rushes to Kurt's aid. This is the fifth time in as many months that Kurt has "canceled" their wedding. Not because he doesn't want Blaine for a husband. It's simply that, as time goes on and the date comes closer, Kurt isn't enjoying the hassle that comes with planning a wedding: disagreements with the caterers, arguments with the florists, problems with the venue, artistic differences with the photographer.
It's becoming too much.
"So, who is it this time?" Blaine asks, putting on speed when he sees Kurt standing in the entryway, drenched from head to toe, his sopping hair clinging to his face, drops of melted snow rolling down his flushed cheeks like tears.
Except Kurt's not sad. He's mad.
"The band," Kurt grumbles. "Tell me, why did we hire that imbecile and his minions instead of going with a deejay? Or even an iPod set on shuffle?"
"He came highly recommended." Blaine takes off Kurt's shirt, then removes his own bulky wool cardigan and puts it on Kurt, seeing as it's already warm.
"By who!?"
"By you." Blaine chuckles. "You suggested him for Sam and Mercedes's wedding five years ago, remember? After he worked that retro 80s Vogue shoot?"
Kurt squints, not immediately recalling, but he looks defeated when the memory rushes back.
"Oh … yeah. Right. Well, his I.Q. has dropped sharply in the last five years," Kurt remarks, his irritation level receding as he sinks into Blaine's nutmeg-and-cinnamon scented sweater.
"Come on. Let's get you dry before you catch pneumonia." Blaine takes Kurt's hand and walks him through their apartment to the bedroom. He leads him to the closet and grabs him a clean towel. Blaine watches Kurt pat his hair dry, chewing on his lower lip as he mulls over options in his head. ""You know, I've been thinking … maybe you're right. Maybe we shouldn't have a wedding."
A stunned Kurt nearly drops his towel.
"What!? What do you mean not have a wedding? It's in less than a month! Don't you want to marry me?"
"Of course I want to marry you!" Blaine says, taking Kurt's hands in his. "I've wanted to marry you since high school! There's nothing I want more at this very moment than to be your husband. But you're under so much stress ..."
"I just want it to be perfect."
"I want it to be perfect, too, but not at the expense of your health."
"It's … it's not that bad," Kurt says, forcing himself to appear relaxed even though he doesn't feel it. "I'll handle it better. I promise."
"It's not about handling it better. It's about you not party-planning yourself into an early grave."
Kurt looks close to tears, and Blaine knows he's not explaining himself well. He needs to make Kurt understand that he's more important than any ceremony, even their wedding.
"Look," Blaine says, "tell me this - what do you want? Right this second, what do you really, truly want?"
"I" - Kurt sniffles, wiping his nose with the corner of the towel – "I want to forget about it all. At least, for a little while. I just" – He chuckles as a thought pops into his head, an absurd thought, but it sounds so nice - "I want to be married to you. Right now. Have a wedding that's just for the two of us. And then, I won't have to worry about the actual wedding being perfect or not. I won't care that the photographer needs to use eight dozen starburst filters, or about the caterer's crappy hors d'oeurves, or that the band guy is being an ass. I'll have you, and we'll be husbands. The rest will be for show, followed by a big party with all of our family and friends."
"And what would we tell everyone?" Blaine asks, secretly warming up to the idea.
"We don't have to tell them anything. It would be for us, remember? They wouldn't need to know."
Blaine smiles. He grabs Kurt around the waist and kisses him slowly, Kurt's cold lips warming fast beneath the heat of Blaine's mouth.
"Let's go then," he purrs, stripping Kurt out of his clothes. Kurt helps him, assuming Blaine is planning on making love to him after his sappy, romantic suggestion, but he stops when he sees Blaine turn to the closet and pick out a fresh pair of slacks and a dress shirt.
"Wha-what do you mean let's go?" he asks, confused as to why Blaine seems to want him dressed again when he's so close to being completely naked and ravish-able. "What are you doing? Are we going out?"
"There's a minister on the corner of 9th collecting money for The Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen. We'll slip him a couple hundred and ask him to marry us."
Kurt stares blankly at Blaine for a moment, then he starts laughing. He figures Blaine is going to great lengths to cheer him up, but will soon go back to the task of undressing him and having sex. But when Blaine grabs socks and a new pair of underwear out of the dresser, Kurt says, "You're … you're serious? Aren't you?"
"Yup."
"But … b-but how do you know he'll do it? How do you know he'll … support us?" Kurt is skeptical, but he starts to undress. If nothing else, his jeans are wet and clinging uncomfortably to his legs. He really should have changed his clothes by now.
"Because he marched in the last Pride Parade." Blaine picks out an outfit for himself and lays it on the bed. Then he starts yanking off his shirt and kicking off his pants almost simultaneously. "He even wore a boa and carried a flag. I don't think his opinion on homosexuality has changed in the past few months."
Kurt thinks the whole thing over - the whole insane idea; pictures it in detail in his head. It was a sweet idea when he first came up with it, and it still is, but he feels something close to dread knot in his chest.
"But … but our family won't be there."
"Hence the for us part you previously mentioned," Blaine replies with a wink.
"And we haven't picked up the rings yet."
"We don't need rings, Kurt." Blaine helps Kurt off with his pants when they get stuck around his knees. "You have your engagement ring. I have mine. We'll use those for now."
"But … it won't be legal."
"So what!" Blaine lifts Kurt up by the waist and spins him in a circle until the tiniest of smiles blooms on his face. "So what, so what, so what, so what! Kurt! Stop getting caught up in the details! It doesn't have to be anything but you and me. That's it. That's all I want. What about you?"
Kurt looks into Blaine's face, waiting for his fiancé to put him down, but Blaine doesn't, prepared to wait all night with Kurt hoisted in his arms if he has to.
"This is crazy," Kurt says, finally feeling genuinely relaxed for the first time in weeks. It seemed silly, but it looked like they were actually going through with this.
"So, is that a yes?" Blaine jostles Kurt, tossing him up a bit, slipping his arms down to Kurt's hips and lifting him higher in the air. Kurt yelps, grabbing at Blaine's shoulders when he feels them both tilt, but Blaine holds firm, keeps them upright. "Will you, Kurt Hummel, walk down to 9th Avenue with me through the icy wind and the snow so we can get married on a filthy street corner out in the cold? Just for us? Just you and me?"
Kurt looks at Blaine, his wonderful fiancé, completely on board with this ludicrous plan to get married in the next five minutes, secure that this is what he wants without a shadow of a doubt. He's so absolutely in love with Kurt, things like place settings and flowers and $15,000 deposits mean nothing to him. It makes Kurt remember, for the hundredth time that day, why it is that he loves Blaine as much as he does.
"Yes!" Kurt laughs, wriggling to get down. "Yes, I'll marry you! Right now, just for us! So let's go!"