Lionel wiped his hands on his ill-fitting navy blue sweater and gulped audibly. The girl beside him on the bus jostled and snored loudly before knocking her head into the window and falling into a peaceful slumber. Lionel shifted and moved to open his backpack, pulling open the zipper with a quiet sigh of the fabric and glancing inside. His heart hammered in his chest as he peeked timidly at the sight of the flower petals breaking off of the bunch and filling his backpack, reds and blues and yellows swirling together into one creation. Lionel pulled out the card that lay untouched at the bottom of the bunch of flowers with a shaky hand, and his arm trembled as he slowly opened it. I think I might be in love with you. Large tears welled up in Lionel's eyes and he quickly wiped them away on the cuff of his sleeve before replacing the card and quietly zipping his bag back up. The low groan of the bus churned in his ears as his heart was in turmoil. Seven years of being in love with his best friend, seven years of watching them crush on other people, seven years of piecing himself back together after they moved farther and farther out of reach. Seven years and today he was going to confess his undying love and hope for the best. Hope that maybe Mathurin was going to love him too, and he would be able to finally release the seven years of heavy weight that burdened his shoulders and grew heavier, day by heartbreaking day. The weight that compressed his lungs to the point where Lionel couldn't breathe when he saw Mathurin. Today he was going to come out to his best friend. I have to do this. Lionel inhaled deeply as the bus pulled into the school parking lot.
I have to do this.
Lionel's ears rang with heartbreak and disappointment as he heard Mathurin laugh loudly and throw down his card. "Who's this from? Is this a joke?" Lionel saw him send a covert glance to Reign, who was watching Lionel concernedly. What's wrong?, she mouthed. Lionel neglected to answer as Mathurin threw away the small piece of paper, jokingly telling Lionel he hoped whoever it was wouldn't be too disappointed. Lionel was tempted to scream at Mathurin. Surely his best friend could recognize his handwriting. But Lionel could tell from the pure innocence and slight confusion shown in Mathurin's dimples when he smiled at him that he really didn't know Lionel was in love with him. Lionel bashfully smiled back before pushing away from his desk and going towards the classroom door. He glanced back at Mathurin, who was now chuckling about something stupid, that wasn't about Lionel, that wasn't about how much he'd always been pining for Lionel. As he slipped out of the classroom Lionel tossed out the single intact rose from his backpack, tears running freely down his face.