So, this a very short one-shot, it's just a character study really. It's about Regina, and her addiction to darkness and power, I suppose. It has nothing to do with 5x12, just something I've had in mind for a while now, if you have any suggestions please review! Thanks!
(I own nothing)
It's always there. In the back of her mind, calling to her,sometimes loudly, screaming at her, sometimes quietly, so quiet she can almost forget it's there, almost.
It's like a broken faucet, sometimes she barely realizes it's there, yet somehow she knows it is. Sometimes, when she's doing something, she forgets all about it, but all the while she knows it's still there, in the back of her mind.
drip-drip-drip—drip.
But the worst comes at night, when she's alone in her bed, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling, or screwed shut, her body curled in the fetal position.
It's at those times that the craving is at its worst, the silence presses in on her, the darkness around her calling to the darkness within her.
As soon as she turns the light off, as soon as she closes her eyes, it rears it's ugly head, it tells her to stop pretending, to give in to her pain, that no-one will ever love her, not truly.
They're all pretending, they're all afraid of her.
And with good reason too!
it tells her that she is so much stronger than they ever will be.
Show them who you truly are, make them pay for your pain! it's the only way to make it stop, to make the pain stop.
And they deserve it, all of it.
After all, it's their fault isn't it?
She wants to give in, every night, she wants to give in.
It's stronger than her, the madness, the darkness, it threatens to eat her alive, to burn her until there is nothing left, just the shell of the woman she once was.
But every night she fights, she fights it with every ounce of her being, she thinks of Henry, and how strong he is, how he would never give in to it.
And then dawn comes, and with it, a respite from the endless torment of the night.
She doesn't sleep, she never does.
During the day it's easier, the light gives her strength, the distractions of day to day life force the beast back down,
but it doesn't disappear, it sleeps, ready to wake when she is at her weakest.
She lives with the craving, ignoring it, because she knows that if she gives into it, there is no coming back,not this time.
But sometimes it kills her, sometimes she thinks it would be so much easier to give up,
to let the darkness drown her once more. She remembers the day she let herself go to the darkness for the first time, like it was yesterday.
It had been so easy, so painless.
It had been like finally giving in to the waves, after trying to keep your head above water in a storm, and drowning, both terrifying and exhilarating.
The pain had stopped.
The grief, the shame and humiliation, the fear, it had all gone, turned to anger ,rage, and hate.
The physical pain hadn't stopped, but it had not crippled her anymore, it had strengthened her.
The bruises inflicted by violent hands angered her, they fed the darkness inside her, they were not the symbol of her humiliation anymore, but the symbols of her revenge.
It had been so easy, at the time, to give in.
She had not understood the consequences of giving in to madness,
she had simply wanted the pain to stop.
But now she had tasted it, it would never leave her, she knew, it would stay with her, calling to her, until the end of her days.
And so, till the end of her days, she would fight to keep her head above water.
Sooooo, what did you think? really bad? good? good-ish? ok? No connection to the real Regina whatsoever? Reviews are greatly appreciated!