Jack and Annie's Adventure with the Monks

by Greene Earth Productions

Can Jack and Annie complete the dangerous mission given to them by Mr. Idiot (Teddy) and Ms. Sea-Girl (Kathleen), or will the trauma be too much for snarky Jack? Hilarious parody of Dogs in the Dead of Night, rated T for mild swearing, blood, and Jack. (you'll understand that part soon enough!)

1. Chapter 0: Prologue

Jack and Annie's Adventure with the Monks.

Prologue: Context.

Jack and Annie are like eighteen and sixteen now, since they've gone on tons of adventures and Morgan/Merlin/Teddy&Kathleen only ever bothers to send the treehouse like once every three months, their current mission is to save Merlin's pet penguin, Penny, from Book #40, who the unattractive Teddy, like an idiot, has turned to stone, to save her they need to gather four special objects (who saw that one comin'?) without ever letting Merlin find out because he'd totally kill Teddy's ass, or letting Morgan find out because she'd tell Merlin and we all know how that goes, so Teddy and his partner, Kathleen the sea-girl, are sending Jack and Annie off in secret, they say they need Jack and Annie's help because they have to stay at Camelot and figure out what the four items are, but everybody knows the real reason is because they get pleasure out of seeing Jack and Annie struggle to do things, so much so that despite the fact that the brother-sister pair are doing all this for them with Teddy's life being at stake and all, they will still do everything in their power to make things as hard as reasonably possible for Jack and Annie to succeed.

On their last adventure, Jack and Annie traveled to the barbaric Mogul Empire of India to retrieve a teeny tiny emerald shaped like a rose, said rose belonged to the Grand Mogul, a very unreasonable man who killed people for the smallest things, sounds hard right? right, that must be what Teddy and Kathleen were thinking, unfortunately for them Jack and Annie actually somehow wound up getting the rose quickly and easily, so now, like three months later, Teddy and Kathleen send word to Annie in the middle of the night telling her that they're ready to send them on their next mission, Annie went and woke up Jack, who sleeps naked now, and has for some time, and told him they need to go, he said sure and that he was ready right off the bat, Annie called bullshit and told him to get his clothes on, once he had done that they headed to the treehouse together and found instructions telling them to go to the Swiss Alps and find a white-and-yellow flower there, they also found a little blue bottle with the instructions 'one sip will turn you into anything you want for one hour, use only once, no explanations, no excuses.'

And so Jack and Annie went to the Alps, expecting this mission to be relatively easy, only to discover that Teddy and Kathleen, being Teddy and Kathleen, actually sent them on their most dangerous mission thus far, probably as revenge for owning the last one, anyway, they appeared in the Alps on a mountainside, they weren't there for even two minutes when an avalanche just naturally came crashing down on them, it tossed them around and almost literally drowned Jack, luckily for Annie she was rescued almost immediately by some local monks, Jack however stayed trapped under the snow for minutes, only to be dug up by the monks' huge, terrifying dogs, Jack was so numb and the lighting so dark that he couldn't properly make out what was happening, he thought that the dogs had torn him open and were eating him alive, and then when the monks themselves came along, they did so slowly and holding torches, with their hoods pulled so far over their faces that they looked like a small army of death coming to take Jack away to the afterlife, they rescued him and brought him to their monastery to rejoin Annie, where they discovered that the monks are actually a super-happy and sunshiny people, who spread glee throughout the halls of their monastery, however, Jack had been so badly traumatized by his near death experience and the horrific misunderstandings that followed that he immediately develops a strong dislike for the monks, pair that up with how his mind reacts to trauma by encouraging him to be snarky and demanding, and things suddenly don't look so good...!

Also, they've been carrying the emerald rose around in Jack's bag for some reason, unlike seriously every other important item they've ever collected since Book #4, what the hell? oh, and Bing-Bing is a whole other story.