A/N: Well, I had been reading a few "crack" fics and felt like it would be interesting to try to write one. I picked this particular pairing because of the fact that Ike disliked being a noble, and with how Astrid is trying to deal with her noble family though it could work. So, all it takes is a little more reflection from one person to cause a bit of believable change.
Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem, if I did, the support bonus would have been different.
The day had started out breezy, helping their ride along their path on the ocean. While Ike did not get seasick, it would be nice to be back on solid ground. That way Mist, his sister, would stop worrying about their older thief's, Volke, eating habits and he would have more useable space for dodging in case a fight broke out with pirates again. Since according to their ship's captain, Nasir, there was a still a chance that more raven laguz would attack.
When his father took the job to protect the Princess of Crimea, Ike never expected that he would end up head of the mercenaries and that they would be sailing to Begnion. He ran his fingers through his blue hair as his eyes patrolled the mostly clear water, sure land was always in sight, but it was Goldoa, home of the dragon laguz. The port in Begnion was less than a week away and perhaps the growing headache he had gained would go away then.
First the weapon forger bugged him about a war game that oddly enough would be helpful if the mercenaries ended up in any ship-to-ship battles. Then came the item shop lady who had a recently discovered crush on him, hopefully either Titania or Soren would be able to pick up the gear for the company without putting too much work on their shoulders. She scared him, with how she looked at him as though he was her possession or something.
After putting the supplies away, he next found the Daein wyvern-rider who was blustering with pride that she could handle the rest of the mercenaries, but stayed because she did not effectively plan out her actions. Ike had walked away from that conversation shaking his head, there was something else to her, but he would delve into that later. Lastly, he ran into the three brothers, Oscar, Boyd, and Rolf, who were plotting about something, but it was nice to see them get along in their usual way. He was interrupted from his musing by Nasir, who wanted to talk to both himself and Princess Elincia about a messenger.
The fact that Begnion knew about the Princess was surprising to the blue-haired mercenary, though he would have time later to wonder about it with the Apostle's ship under attack. The mercenaries formed up, with a few staying back to protect the princess in case the raven laguz attempted to attack from the rear. After identifying themselves to the frantic guards, who held their lances at the ready with more resolve after hearing the news, Ike noticed one of the brown-haired guards as a former member of the mercenaries, Gatrie.
Giving the order to charge over, Ike let the three horse riders, Kieran, Oscar, and Titania, ride ahead while Marcia and Jill flew across the gap between the two ships to engage the ravens. After crossing over the bridge, he noticed the only horse rider in the Begnion forces was having trouble defending herself against one of the enemy myrmidon. The man's latest pass slightly damaged her armor, and upon seeing this, Gatrie rushed over as fast as he could in his heavy armor and slammed his lance into the enemy, who dropped from the hit.
Ike came towards her as another pirate, one of the many with lances, was attacking another Begnion guard. A quick slash on his back followed by the guard slamming forward with his lance dispatched the enemy. Ike then approached the black haired rider and after talking with her, was surprised to learn that she was a noble and willing to get her hands dirty by fighting. Seeing the ravens coming closer, he offered to work together with her. The conversation was cut short as he dodged a stab from a lance and swung down on the unidentified enemy, slamming into his helmet. He brought his sword up and ramming his sword past his target's defenses, hitting the man as the blow fell him.
Oscar rushing at one of the halberdiers grabbed Ike's attention and he followed, hoping to take control of the planks, giving the guards a chance to receive a breather. Upon reaching the enemy, the man drove his javelin at him, which grazed his shoulder as he retaliated with a swing that drew blood on his attacker's left arm. Oscar cut off any further attacks with his own javelin that knocked the enemy to the ground as he rode up and shoved the javelin deeper before pulling it out and the horse stepped past the body.
Mist ran up to Ike and waved a heal staff over his shoulder, making the pain and wound vanish. Thanking his sister, Ike charged one of the mages that was standing in front of a chest that was also trying to hit Marcia on her pegasus. The swing connected and as the mage jumped back, his chest was leaking out blood. The man started chanting and a ferocious blast of wind blasted into the mercenary leader, injuring Ike's leg. He countered with a slash that traveled from the top of the shoulder and exited at the bottom of his lower torso. Dropping the man, Ike turned to check over his forces, few sported any injuries, as Mist kept the group in fighting shape. The enemy had been routed except for the apparent leader, a redheaded sniper that was avoiding Boyd's axe swing as a second arrow from Rolf nicked his shoulder. Oscar and Kieran were rushing their horses to reinforce them.
Ike wiped his forehead with his cloak as he scanned over the water and the total number of ravens in battle near the Apostle's ship now numbered at six. The newest four seemed to ignore the battle and were heading towards the cargo both ships were carrying.
Moving back to the Apostle's ship, he ordered, "The ravens are heading after the cargo on both ships, keep them away the supplies." Soren and surprisingly Gatrie moved to protect the closest cargo as the blue-armored knight moved to draw the attention of the ravens. However, the two ravens ignored both fighters as the first flew past the prepped lance and grabbed an axe while the other flew close to the edge of the ship, outside of melee range. Even with the ability to fly, the raven did not escape a retaliated strike from Gatrie that hit him in the chest, draw a thin line of blood and as the laguz attempted to reach the open waters with its newly acquired possession, a blast of wind from Soren's magic tome slammed into him, killing him as he fell to the deck of the ship.
The second one found himself trapped between the lances of Marcia and Jill who quickly gutted it like a fish. The sound of a loud cheer from Boyd and Rolf grabbed Ike's attention as he smiled at the two brothers, while Oscar and Kieran moved to protect the green-haired thief, Sothe, as he relieved the enemy of their supplies.
Wiping the blood off of his sword, Ike glanced around and noticed the last two of the original six ravens had passed by the remainder of the Apostle's guard and flew off with more weapons. Jill attempted to stop the first raven, who took a hit from her lance as it damaged part of his wing but he was able to pass by the wyvern rider.
The other became trapped by Marcia cutting it off and was forced to fly over the ship where Oscar and Kieran double-teamed with a quick axe slash and lance strike to drop it with its cargo.
The other Raven passed the railing of the ship before an arrow streaked out and slammed into his wing, which caused him to falter and drop. The slowly dying raven crashed into the waves as Marcia flew down and recovered the stolen weapon before it sunk into the ocean.
Ike smiled as he looked up and noticed that the knight he had talked to had made the shot. The loud roar of the Apostle's pegasus knights announced the fact the raven laguz had been chased off.
He quickly located both Titania and Soren and as they moved to return to their ship to make sure nothing was pilfered during the battle. The checking of their supplies was delayed when it was determined that the Apostle went missing as the mercenaries decided to helped out.
To the surprise of the group, the Apostle ended up being a young child. Ike had yet again put his foot in his mouth, but the Apostle seemed to be mostly amused while talking down to the mercenaries. Tanith, one of the pegasus knights, had offered the stolen cargo as payment for finding the Apostle, which Soren had gladly accepted for the group, with that the mercenaries migrated back to their ship.
Ike's progress was halted by Gatrie, who was blocking the way with the bow-knight, who was standing there wiping a bit of blood off her horse that mostly like came from one of the pirates.
"Hey, Commander, you've grown so much, I was wondering if I could come back and join the group again. I assume the captain of the ship would have enough room for the lady and I?" He wondered as he broke out in a grin.
"If need be, I can pay for our passage." The rider finished wiping down the horse as she dug into one of the pouches in the saddle.
"No, Lady Astrid, you should not need to waste your valuable coin for this. To pay for my employer for the rest of the trip, I will take my first mission free, surely that should be sufficient?" Ike looked to Soren who was examining Gatrie with no change of bearing before answering,
"That would be acceptable, though wouldn't it be more comfortable being on the Apostle's ship?" Soren stared at the noble who had gripped her bow a bit harder.
"My employer is granting me a boon in being able to meet everyone in our little group. I saw a few new faces that I didn't recognize." He grinned as Ike realized whom he noticed.
"That's fine with me, welcome abroad, Lady Astrid." Ike decided before Soren could have responded. Gatrie removed himself from Ike's path and followed behind Astrid.
The next three days had been the calm before the storm, as the Apostle had to delay the meeting with the Princess due to the attack. Gatrie had met everyone and there were no shown hard feelings between former teammates.
However, once the Apostle had allowed them to meet with her, the calm broke. He never would have believed before that someone would be willing to kill someone over a small slight spoken. It would have been even worse if Elincia did not get the help she needed because of his outburst.
Roaming the castle area did not help, since he first found Gatrie, who was up to his usual ways.
Passing another corner, he leaned against the wall as he ran his hand through his hair. If the Apostle was serious, I may have another one of these games of wit and words to deal with. If I'm with the Princess, keeping my mouth shut should be easy, but if it is a dinner or something, I don't want to endanger the Princess's position due to not eating like a noble. I would ask the Princess for help, but she has been busy garnering favors from Begnion nobles, no need to trouble her anymore. He sighed as he took a deep breath to regain his composure.
"Commander Ike?" He turned to the voice, which belonged to the black-haired noble woman.
"Hm? Oh, it's you." He pushed off of the wall as she came closer.
"Are you trying to clear your head as well?" She wondered as she clasped her hands together. He bit back the first response he had, his curiosity needing to be quenched.
"So, did you head home? Gatrie mentioned that he was finished with his escort, your parents were happy to see you I assume?" She glanced at her hands in response, which drew Ike's gaze.
"Actually, I joined the knights to confront my family, Begnion here is too steeped in tradition that it lost sight of the most important things." Ike nodded to her when she looked up before she continued, "However, I still do not feel confident enough as a knight. When I draw back the bowstring, my hands still shake. I want to get stronger, Commander Ike, the others say that you never give up, no matter how bleak the fight. Please, allow me to continue fighting by your side."
"Your skill with the bow is spectacular. We're glad to have you. Actually I do have a favor to ask." He smiled, the group had nearly doubled in size since Shinon and Gatrie left and he had kept everyone alive so far.
"Of course, what is it Commander?" She looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Well, since the Princess is being dragged to social events, I may be called upon to join her, and at almost all of them, she's had food to eat. I know you nobles have silly ways that food has to be eaten, could you teach me how to eat properly for a noble?" He couldn't believe he was asking this, she would probably laugh.
"Sure, though we need to get a hold of the proper utensils. Perhaps we can see if they are serving food right now?" She brightened as he nodded.
"Well, first I better tell Oscar that he doesn't need to make any for me." He remarked as they traveled back to where the group was staying.
They made it as Mist walked out of kitchen and smiled at her brother while wiping her hands on a towel.
"Hey Ike, you're going to offer to help cook?" Ike shook his head as his sister grinned.
"Are you the one cooking?" He peered in the open door, checking to see if the green haired rider was in there.
"No, Oscar is, I just helped with a bit of the preparation. Oh, you're Astrid, right? Did you come here to have Oscar's cooking?" The brown haired young woman turned her attention to Astrid.
"Actually Mist, can you tell Oscar that I won't be at dinner?" Her gaze jumped back to her brother as she motioned for him to explain. He sighed before answering, "You know how Elincia has to go to those social functions?" She nodded as he continued, "well, I may have to go to those as her bodyguard and I don't want to ruin Elincia's reputation anymore. So I asked Astrid for help." Mist started to giggle as he stared at her.
"I have got to see this, hey Oscar!" She ran off into the kitchen as Ike went to grab her arm.
"Mist, don't go telling… nevermind." A few seconds later, she walked back out and up to the two.
"Let's go. Poor Astrid, getting you to eat properly is going to be so hard." She stuck her tongue out at her brother as they started walking. Ike shook his head as Astrid found them a small room with a table that could fit six easily. The meal went poorly, as he found out that the water bowl was for washing at the beginning and end of the meal instead of leaving the silverware in at the end. Also, having different forks for one meal, the nobles definitely did not clean their own dishes. The three left, as Ike needed to double-check the group's supplies before they continued on. If they couldn't find what they needed here, then the merchant caravan was being weird.
The next four days went better than expected, while they had nothing to do, as his fears were unfounded, the nightly practices gave the two siblings a fun time with Astrid, much to Ike's chagrin. The three avoided talking about family, which Soren would have found suspicious. At least Ike could passably manage at one of these functions, unless he had to talk.
He also found that others had been able to relax a bit since he kept himself busy. The only problem was if Gatrie kept up his actions, he had a feeling that one of the guards would be finding him to complain. Fortunately for the group, Sigrun, the personal guard of the Apostle, had requested them for a mission. Upon finding out where they were supposed to go, he had everyone ready to go within an hour. It seemed most of the group was ready to go even if they did not act like it. They left the capital and headed out for one of the old highways.
The fog covered the area easily, which made it simple for the mercenaries to set up the ambush. The bandits had to cross the wooden bridges in front of them that Ike and Oscar were blocking. Astrid and Soren stood behind the two, while Sothe was ready to dive in when an opening showed.
Ike could barely see about fifteen feet in front of him, he glanced to the left, the rest of the group that came was going to flank the enemies from that direction. The group also took the torch, to hide the five that stayed behind. This was the first time he could not tell where his sister actually was on the battlefield if he looked for her and the constant glances were not helping his Kieran had sworn upon his honor as a royal knight that his sister would receive nary a scratch, he had been more relieved when Titania told Ike that she would keep an eye out for her.
Oscar took off at one of the appearing archers, with Sothe following quickly behind to help out. One of the peddlers charged at Ike as he stood at the ready. The axe was dripping with a purple liquid, most likely poisoned. The enemy swung down, with Ike using his sword to parry the strike. Once insuring the attack failed, he stabbed forward at the pirate's left shoulder. The strike hit as the pirate shouted in pain, Ike pulled the sword out and backed up a few steps, allowing Soren's blast of wind to rip into the man. The pirate gurgled as he toppled over, as Ike turned to check for enemies, he dropped to the ground as a hand axe came straight for where his neck used to be.
Soren began to chant his spell while the new attacker charged the now prone ranger. Upon reaching five feet away, an arrow penetrated his chest, which slowed him long enough for Soren's magic to drop him. Ike stood quickly, shaking his head at himself for nearly losing his head.
"I doubt the two of them need help, but I don't want to leave Oscar alone with Sothe in his second battle." He took off ahead across the bridge with Astrid riding slower behind, while she watched the bridge, making sure her horse didn't misstep. Soren followed without saying a word, the nonverbal communication telling Ike that he agreed.
The group met up with Oscar and Sothe, the green haired knight showed no signs of injuries while Sothe had a burn mark from where a magic spell had hit.
"Ike, the rest of our forces are probably still hitting the other side, if the enemy fights like most of the enemies we have dealt with before, the leader is up ahead. I suggest we wait for reinforcements, since Sothe needs attention." Oscar suggested as he kept watch out for any enemies attacking.
"Wouldn't that give the enemy even more time to set up a trap? Soren, any ideas?" Ike wondered as he gave Sothe a quick look over while noticing the thief glancing forward, while trying to hide his pain from the spell.
"Well, Sothe could meet the group going that way on the bridge over there, it's small enough that our forces can't miss him. It is doubtful the enemy would have ignored us for this long, so the danger is minimal to him. Marcia and Jill could fly across the water and join us past the bridge, most of the fighters here are not strong opponents, with those two as reinforcements, as long as they don't pass either Ike or Oscar, we should be fine." Soren concluded.
"Thanks Soren. Sothe, you heard the man. Soren and Astrid, cover us." Sothe grumbled before heading out. Ike watched him for a few seconds before moving towards the next bridge, Oscar's horse keeping pace with him. Soren was following behind as Astrid covered the rear of the group.
About halfway across the bridge, Ike tensed as a couple of roars came from the fog. Two tiger laguz bursted out of the fog, their stares felt wrong to Ike as he positioned his sword to block. A set of jaws collided with his sword, keeping it away from his body. The tiger reached out with one of its claws and raked him across his shoulder. Ike grunted as he noticed the bleeding. He felt the wake of an arrow pass by him as the laguz was struck in the leg. Giving it a shove with the sword, Ike forced his target back as he prepared to strike back. Another arrow struck the tiger again lower but in same leg. It ignored the attack as it leapt at Ike, completely ignoring the tearing it was inflicting upon the leg. Lunging with his sword, Ike hissed in pain as he felt the blow hit the mark and the huge mass toppled onto him. The force dropped him as he barely moved in time to prevent the sword from slamming into his chest.
"Ike!" Soren had rushed to where his commander's head was visible as he was starting to groan, the wound still leaked blood.
"Soren, I'm still conscious, just move it off me." He wanted to say he was fine, but nobody would believe him so it wasn't worth the waste of breath. Muttering a few words, the blast of wind breezed above Ike as it lifted and tossed the bleeding corpse away.
"Hey, handsome, Mist wanted to come, she thought you would be doing something reckless, I guess she was right." The sound of hooves hitting the ground announced his sister's arrival as she gasped.
"You big dummy, what were you thinking?" She berated as she brought her mend staff up to his shoulder as he felt the wounds close. He heard the sound of hooves digging into the ground as he felt the ground shake as people started to leave. At least Soren is having the team finish the job.
"How did the battle go over there, Mist?" Ike flexed his shoulder as she moved the staff down his body, the tenderness vanishing from where the laguz had collided into him.
"I did not get injured, as the only enemy to even notice me had Kieran charging him down while yelling something about his duty. Thanks, Ike, for letting me go with the main group, even if I was needed here more." She finished using the mend staff as she helped him up. "We should catch up with the others, right?" His response was covered by the yells of Crimea's fifth platoon leader as he charged down the bridge. Who was followed closely behind by Titania and the rest of the mercenaries.
"Ike, are you alright?" The red-haired mercenary asked as she slowed her horse to a stop.
"Yes, the other six took off for the rest, we better catch up." With that the group headed across the bridge. As the mist cleared, the sight of all six mercenaries standing, with four of them next to their mounts with Sothe playing with an axe that had to have been recovered from an enemy. Soren waved Mist off as he walked up to Ike,
"We defeated the enemy. We are in combat ready condition and the caravan is ready to be delivered to the Apostle. Though it seems like the there is something alive in the crates." The tactician explained with a frown.
"She is up to something, I wouldn't be surprised if they had another mission for us when we get back." Soren stared at his friend while Titania walked over. "After insulting her, she hires us for a mission even though she has plenty of people she could send here. The nobles here like to play games, so obviously we are a part of hers."
"Perhaps Sigrun will tell us about it if we ask?" Titania mused as smiled at her commander.
"Yes, I agree with Titania, Sigrun seems more amendable than Tanith for telling us information." With that the three joined the rest of the group and started moving the cargo to Sienne.
Just a heads up, the two aren't going to be having the falling very quickly for each other, but hopefully I will do the romance justice. Please review and thank you for reading.