Hey there guys! I decided that I'm going to rewrite The Evil in Our Hearts because going back over it I see a whoooooole lot of mistakes that I didn't catch before. With my awesome skills of re-writing I shall make the story better!
…. Hopefully.
Anyway, I'm going to keep the original up. I think it's good for people to be able to compare the two different writing styles. And besides, Adrienne isn't going to be annoying in this one. Won't some of you miss that?
On to the ficcy!
Chapter 1: The Pale Shadow and the Revelation of Trouble
The Xiaolin Monks all groaned as the soccer ball went flying over the temple wall.
"Way to go, Rai." said Kimiko, annoyance etched on her face.
"Yes, that was most irresponsible of you," added Omi.
"Okay, guys, chill!" said Raimundo. "I'll go get it, don't freak!" And so, Raimundo hopped over the wall to go get the misplaced ball. "If I was a soccer ball, where would I be?" He asked himself, walking idly around. "I'd be…at the base of that tree!" Raimundo ran over to the tree in question, and picked the ball up. He then turned around, and proceeded to walk into someone. "Oh, sor-"
"The time is coming…" rasped the stranger. Raimundo could tell that this person was a woman by the higher pitch of the voice. She wore a brown cloak that billowed slightly in the breeze. The hood of the cloak was up, covering the woman's head. Raimundo stepped back, but stopped short as he met the person's eyes. They were a deep green not unlike his own, but they seemed glassy and unfocused. From the shadowed face he could tell that this stranger was pale – almost too pale.
"What?" he asked, "Dude, I gotta - "
"In a short time, a threat will reveal it self." the cloaked woman continued, almost as if she couldn't hear him, " It will be more powerful then all of your enemies combined. Be wary of this warning…the time is coming…" The woman started fade, still whispering the message as they went.
"Wait!" Raimundo called reaching out for them, "The guys will never believe me!" But she waas gone, and nothing was left of her but a piece of the brown cloak that Raimundo had grabbed, but that too began to fade. Raimundo looked at his fist, now clenching air, and wondered who or what could possible be that much of a threat to anyone. Then, he turned around, and went back to the temple, trying to forget what he had just heard.
I pushed my red hair out of my face and bit my lip, staring down at the picture I was drawing; a man with a thin face, and long, black hair. He was missing something….
"Hey, Thanos," whispered Tristessa over my shoulder, "Who's that? Your boyfriend?" Her voice held mirth, the kind she reserved especially for me.
"Shut up," I growled, covering the drawing with my arm. "It's nothing of your concern."
She sniggered, and said to her friends, "Thanos is so pitiful, she has to draw her boyfriends! I bet she sleeps with it at night!" Her friends laughed loudly. I clenched my fist.
"Shut up!" I said, turning to face her, boring my green eyes into her dark brown ones. She smirked at me, knowing I wouldn't hurt her, no matter how I threatened.
"Settle down, settle down!" cried Mrs. Coons. The classroom immediately fell silent as she walked in and placed her bag on the desk. "All right!" cried she, clapping her hands together in excitement, "Get out your books, and turn to page three hundred and ninety-four. You have the class period to do all of the problems on this page. This is to be graded as a test, so do your best work. To be handed in at the end of class. Begin."
All of my classmates sighed and slowly got their books out. I got my book out as well. I looked at the cover lovingly. 'Calculus,' I thought, 'the best form of math there is.' I opened to the assigned page and set to work. I was finished within the first half hour. Then I sat back and thought. 'That was refreshing! Nothing like a little bit of math to clear the mind. But still, I wish that I had a good book. Like Harry Potter!' I smiled openly to myself, almost chuckling. As I closed my book, restless sighs around me indicated that my classmates were in no similar position. 'Maybe I should meditate. Sure, I don't really know how and I generally fall asleep when I try, but anything is better then sitting around here like a bum.' I then closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could. I searched through my memories, my emotions.
The bell rang and I blinked in confusion. Had it really taken that long for me to concentrate?
"Miss Thanos, is something wrong?" Mrs. Coons' voice broke through my thoughts as my peers sniggered.
"Oh! No ma'am, I'm fine."
"Well, I would suggest that you hand in your paper, and go to your next class."
"This was my last class of the day, ma'am." I said, handing my paper to her. She nodded her understanding and I went back to my desk and collected my things before turning around and walking out of the classroom. I pushed my way through the throng of loitering students down the hallway to the front doors. The sky outside was dark, oppressive clouds threatening rain. I walked out the doors towards the large oak tree and accidentally dropped my pencil (which I had neglected to put in my bag) and leaned down to pick it up. I saw out of the corner of my eye something shiny. Upon further investigation, I saw that is was a large emerald. I picked it up and turned it over in my fingers. "Odd…" I muttered under my breath, rising back to my feet.
"Hello," I turned around to see who had spoken. Upon first glance I saw three children. The only girl appeared to be Asian, the burlier of the boys looked American, and the other Latino. "Hello, friend!" I looked down to see who had spoken, and saw a fourth child, with yellow skin and a giant, bald head.
"Uh…hello…." I replied hesitantly.
"That item you hold in your hand is very precious. May we please have it?"
"Oh? And what precious object would that be?" I asked, irritated that a kid was talking to me like I was an ignorant toddler. The three children behind him looked somewhat nervous, but the bald one just smiled and explained.
"It is a Shen Gong Wu." he told me in a friendly manner. "A magical object that holds great power."
I rolled my eyes. "Uh huh…sure…"
'Wow, this kid is a basket case!' I thought to myself, nearly shaking my head in disbelief.
At that moment, I heard a strange whirring noise and looked up to the skies. A pale boy with red hair and eyeliner was using a strange contraption was floating down from the sky. "Оh my God!" I squeaked, taking a few steps backward. The pale boy let out a laugh.
"Jack Spicer!" The bald kid exclaimed. He and his companions went into fighting stances. "Prepare for a most humiliating defeat!"
"Not this time Xiaolin losers!" said the pale kid, presumably Jack Spicer, "Jack bots-"
"There's no time for that!" said an almost translucent, purple floating thing, "Just get the Shen Gong Wu before -"
"Before what, Wuya?" Everyone's heads snapped to a man wearing bronze armor. His black hair, which was blowing in the wind, had a greenish tint to it. His eyes made me shiver. I never knew anyone's eyes could be yellow.
"Chase!" Wuya exclaimed.
"Chase Young!" This time, the Latino boy spoke. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought that I'd pop in and watch," he said, "I'm interested to see how much you've learned."
I was getting a little freaked out. They where going to fight? And then they expected me to hand over this "mystical" object? That never was going to happen.
"Excuse me." I tried to cut in quietly, but no one heard me; they just continued arguing. I was beginning to feel weird; there was a peculiar bubbly sensation in the pit of my stomach. Was it anger? "Excuse me!" I said loudly. All eyes snapped to me. "How am I supposed to know that you are telling the truth? What if it's just one big joke?" The feeling was getting stronger. " How do I know that Tristessa didn't put you up to this?"
"Oh, do not worry," said the bald one, "I know it might be hard for you to understand -"
I had had enough. "Now you're insulting my intelligence? I've had a life time full of people doubting me, and now some little bald kid is too!" My brain was buzzing from the intensity of the words. "I've had enough!" Suddenly, there was a gust of wind. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
"Okay, okay, chill!" Cried the Latino.
"I will not chill! No one understands what it's like being put down in every aspect of life!" Rain began to fall. "Why don't you try being me for a day? Then you can feel what it's like being laughed at!" I felt my feet leave the ground. I looked down and saw that I was at least ten feet in the air, but I didn't care; I was too angry. When I looked at the faces of the people around me, all shared the same emotion: fear.
End of Chapter One
A//N: So, what do you guys think? Is this edit better or worse? Review to let me know if I should continue!